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cactus

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  1. cactus
    The roles are reversed from their famous match that they had later in the year, with Starr playing the prick heel antagoniser to perfection. After betraying Delvin, Starr enters the arena with a smug look on his face and wearing the colors of the Irish flag on his trunks, complete with a t-shirt with a picture Delvin and Starr on it. This infuriates Delvin and they brawl around the arena. The crowd brawling looks decent for once, with some spots peppered in to keep things interesting. Once the match starts, Starr quickly takes control of the Irish Ace. This is much less melodramatic than their later match, but they harm it by doing too much and trying to get their shit in, making the big moments matter less. I enjoyed this more when the action slowed down and they slot in some organic storytelling, like the spot where Starr violently headbutts Devlin, or when he goes for his injured thumb. A potentially great match, harmed by the many tropes of modern indie wrestling. ★★★½
  2. cactus
    Wow, I loved everything about this, even down to the little things like how this was shot. There is a lot of barbed wire spots in this, but they treat them all with respect and I'd never been more on the edge of my seat than I was watching these two start the match with the most intense lock-up ever. Funk doing his usual punch-drunk stumbling near the barbed wire made me gasp with horror. Onita, bloodied and his clothes torn by the barbed wire, looked like a total badass. Onita scoring the win before the explosions going off doesn't bother me one bit, as it gives way to highly emotional climax of Onita failing to save Funk from the explosion going off. The guitar solo that played as the smoke cleared was a neat touch that made the moment feel even bigger. All the emotionally charged post-match stuff with Onita crying and Funk refusing to shake his hands added to the match tenfold. This felt like part-short film, part wrestling match. Screw your Firefly Funhouses and your Boneyard matches, this is how you do cinematic wrestling! ★★★★★
  3. cactus
    I thought the match was understandably average, but the post match stuff is well worth going out your way to see. Watching that guy in the crowd desperately trying to get Owen to join his brother shows how much the audience were into the Bret vs Owen storyline. The top moments of the actual match were them doing the Samoan headbutt spot and Bret getting some very convincing nearfalls before finally winning the match. ★★
  4. cactus
    I'd love to be able to view this as this happened, as it's legendary status ends up hurting the match for me. This was the first ever WWF match to get five stars from Dave Meltzer and it might be one of the most innovative matches ever. The ladder spots feel primitive compared to what we would get less than a decade later. If you try and turn you brain and forget about this match's reputation, you can get a lot of fun out of it. I could watch Ramon, a man with seriously underrated punch, jab Michaels around the ring all day. The ladder spots are solid, yet unremarkable through 2020 eyes. I'd still say this is a great match, just an overrated one because of it's status. ★★★¾
  5. cactus
    Even taking into account the cop-out countout finish, this was better than it had any right to be. The tag team scene is still struggling come 1994, but it's clear that they have big things planned for Mabel. Mo works portions of this match to allow the bigger Mabel to not get too gassed and he's not too bad, he hits a really impressive cross body that gets a lot of height for his size. When Mabel is in the ring, the commentators gush over how huge he is and he gets a lot of power spots and even lands a spinning wheel kick that pops the crowd huge. The Quebecers double suplex Mabel and everyone in the building looks shocked. The Quebecers eventually get themselves counted out to save their belts. ★★¾
  6. cactus
    Earthquake squashes Adam Bomb in 30 seconds. Even though his gimmick was the shits, I had no idea why they made Adam Bomb lose this. Earthquake felt like a relic from the Hulkamania era and he was out of the company by May. With the exception of a brief cameo in the Gimmick Battle Royal in 2001, this would be the last time we would see John Tenta as Earthquake on a WWF PPV. DUD
  7. cactus
    I didn't hate the disqualification finish as it opens the door to a Luger/Perfect feud (that never happened, mind), but I did hate this match. Things start out well enough with Luger punching Yoko around the place. He attempts to slam Yokozuna, but is unsuccessful. Luger then gets trapped in a claw hold and the match slows to snail's pace. This felt like a Hogan match without the energy or charisma. The only reason I'm giving this even one star is that Yoko exceptional bumps well for Luger's forearms. ★
  8. cactus
    This only goes for three minutes and the crowd couldn't seem to care. The main thing that stuck out was how sexist Jerry Lawler's commentary was. Kai was the only person on this card who also wrestled at the first Wrestlemania. Both wrestlers are solid enough, with Blaze hitting a nice looking German suplex to get the win. The women's division would get better by later in the year, before they ultimately scrap it in late 1995. ★★
  9. cactus
    Crush could of been anyone else and the match wouldn't of changed much. This is Savage's last ever Wrestlemania match and it feels bittersweet as the crowd absolutely adore him. The falls count anywhere stipulation is admittedly dumb, but they don't overuse the pinfalls and this is over quick ever enough to not be tedious viewing. The finish with Savage tying up Crush to stop him from returning the ring was creative too. ★★¾
  10. cactus
    Nowhere near as bad as you would think. Bam Bam always surprised me at how agile he was. He bumps aroud for Doink when he needs to. Dink looks to be a competent worker, who's also quite athletic in his own right. The comedy spots are fine for what they are and this doesn't go too long. This follows the epic Bret vs Owen match and serves as an acceptable cool-off match to stop the crowd from being burnt out. ★★½
  11. cactus
    Just a technical masterclass with unbelievable workrate built around possibly my favourite storyline ever. Both Hart brothers have to resort to old Stampede tricks to try and outsmart each other. Bret just wants to get this whole saga over quickly, he doesn't want to fight his brother and has a championship match later in the night, so he's always going for quick pins. Owen is at his best when he's playing the bitter little brother and this might be his best ever performance. ★★★★¾
  12. cactus
    The workrate in this is so high that it feels massively out of place in 1985 WWF. Even Moonson is shocked by how hard these guys are going! I feel like Dynamite is a guy who's rated so highly because of how innovative his style was and not how great of a worker he was per say. Bret Hart in 1985 doesn't feel too different from Bret Hart in 1991. He plays to the crowd well and his stuff looks clean and crisp. He might be wearing blue instead of pink, but even here it's clear he's got all the skills to be a big star. ★★★¼
  13. cactus
    I never understood the logic of having babyface JYD get a bye into the finals, while the dastardly heel has to wrestle four times. Jesse Ventura uses this as fuel to go after JYD on commentary and post-match, but it still doesn't make JYD look like a conquering hero. Savage tries to salvage something out of JYD, but he's no miracle worker. Savage stalls around to kill time and beats down JYD on the outside. In an anti-climatic finish, JYD wins the tournament after throwing Savage over the top rope and getting the count out win. ★½
  14. cactus
    This is the only ever time these two met in a singles match and sadly it's not much to write home about due to a number of factors. This is their 3rd match in the evening and they don't get much time. The finish is quite famous, with Dynamite Kid landing a superplex only to get rolled up as he tries to float over. This is fine for what it was, but don't let Melter's high rating of this disappoint you like it did for me. ★★½
  15. cactus
    Standard Hogan match. Not much else to say about it. This gets the loudest reaction of the evening by far. The referee takes a bump, and Piper tries to use a chair but Hogan sees it coming and locks in a sleeper hold. Bob Orton Jr. runs in and to break the hold and gives Hogan the win by disqualification. Paul Orndorff runs in for the save and cleans house. ★★
  16. cactus
    I've never seen two guys trade holds so well yet be completely boring with it. Santana's leg is taped up after his first match and it becomes a massive factor when Orndorff atomic drops him to escape a headlock and Santana rolls around the mat in agony. Orndorff lands a drop toehold and starts wrenching on his damaged leg. This was when I noticed that that the crowd were starting to chant 'boring'. After Orndorff refuses to break up a grapple cleanly, the two brawl out outside the ring and get counted out. While I'm glad that their holds looked snug, Santana's selling was good and they crafted an interesting story for a face vs face match, I can't lie and say this was good as it was deathly boring. Too much downtime. ★¾
  17. cactus
    Dave Meltzer has this rated at minus five stars, one of two WWF/E matches to receive this 'award'. It's crap, but it's over in under a minute so I can't be too harsh on it. For whatever reason, the referee isn't anywhere to be seen when they start fighting in the ring. JYD lands a headbutt and counts his own pin. Monsoon says that there's no way that this result will be recognised as there was no official present, but JYD is already on his way to the back so Monsoon has to quickly make an excuse and it's on to the next match. DUD
  18. cactus
    Savage vs Steamboat is still a lot of fun even if they only get three minutes. Savage uses Elizabeth as a distraction to gain an advantage, but Steamboat fights back with some interesting looking moves. Savage pulls some brass knuckles out of his trunks and gets the win. Quick and to the point. ★★¾
  19. cactus
    The first round matches are done, and we now onto the quarter finals. Upon hearing that Randy Savage is facing Ricky Steamboat next, Jesse Ventura excuses himself from the ringside area and heads to the back to help Savage prepare for his match. The match itself is fine, with Kidd getting in quite of a lot of near-falls for a match of it's time. Adonis locks on the sharpshooter to work down Kid's leg and I think that might be one of the first times that move had been done in a WWF ring. Kid gets a win, but never stops selling his leg. ★★½
  20. cactus
    We FINALLY get a match that goes longer than five minutes and it's a lot of fun. They work quicker than I expected them to and the freshly turned babyface Mr Wonderful gets a lot of love from the crowd. Orton is a brilliant bumper and great at playing the chickenshit heel. He's still using his cast gimmick, and he ends up accidentally getting himself disqualified when the referee catches him using it a weapon. I'd usually call that a bullshit finish, but it added to the whole one-night tournament storyline. wasn't expecting to enjoy this one as much as I did. ★★★
  21. cactus
    The short matches were really starting to burn me out by this point, and I was pleased to see that this one might be getting more time by how they were working. Sadly it's not to be as this one ends suddenly with yet another bad finish. Muraco scores a three count on Santana, but Santana had his foot just under the bottom rope. Muraco celebrates, and Santana rolls him up for a sneaky win. Santana was the IC champ and the finish wasn't exactly fitting for a babyface. Santana is usually a guy who you can depend on, but this was quite disappointing. ★½
  22. cactus
    There's hardly any action to speak of here as Funk tries to talk Spot into both of them forfeiting the match by leaving the ring. It's all a ploy to get Spot counted out as Funk clobbers him as he's walking back, but this comes back to bite Funk as Spot fights back and manages to get back into the ring before the ten count. Clocking in at 27 seconds, this isn't even the shortest match on the card. Terry cuts two promos, one in the back and one in the ring, and anytime Terry Funk has a live microphone in his hands, you can expect some enjoyment. ½★
  23. cactus
    Sheiky Baby attacks JYD before the bell rings, but Dog fights him off. Sheik, like many of the wrestlers of his time, knows how to sell well for a punch. Sheik takes control after a failed failing headbutt attempt and locks on the Camel Clutch. After JYD passing out in the hold, Sheik releases it to beat on JYD some more and this turns out to be a fatal mistake as he's knocked out by a flash headbutt, which costs him the match. This was solid yet unremarkable. ★½
  24. cactus
    You are probably not going to find a more workrate pairing than this in WWF in 1985. They work a fast exchange, before Smith overpowers Steamboat and controls the match with a front facelock. Steamboat counters out of a Smith suplex by using the momentum to hoist Bulldog in the air for an impressive stalling suplex of his own. Just when things are starting to pick up, Smith crotches himself on the ropes after a failed dropkick attempt and the referee decides to award this one to Steamboat. Utterly shit finish, these guys could of made something really special if they were just given five more minutes. ★★½
  25. cactus
    Savage is already a high-level worker by 1985 and he's extremely entertaining even he's just stalling and trying to get away from Putski. To his credit, Putski doesn't look half bad here either. He plays to the crowd well and lands some nice looking strikes on Savage, who sells them well. This is all over in under three minutes, as Savage gets a cheap win by rolling Putski up with the assist of the ropes. For what it was, this was quite fun. ★★¼
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