PeteF3
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Catherine White is hotter than Fifi. There, I said it. And I'll say it again. The World's Most Well-Groomed Bum leads White, and us, to Cactus Jack, regaling other bums with philosophical musings about his life at sea. We also meet his new girl, and her name is "Bang Bang." He's barely on-camera for two minutes but Jack already sounds tired of this shit by the end of the segment, and I can't say as I blame him.
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Fifi is really eager to get Dusty Rhodes' autograph. Cute. Dusty is now a "big time producer at Turner Broadcasting." Dusty is putting over Dustin and Rude when a DOORBELL rings. Oh, of course the Assassin would ring a doorbell before entering a set. He accuses Flair's guest of being a Dusty Rhodes imitator. Assassin is so fat and out of shape that his mask barely fits on his head, but there's genuine heat for this. At the time it really seemed like they were building to a match between these two, which was a terrifying thought. Assassin implies that he'll get Dusty back into the ring by going after his family. God help me, because a Dusty/Assassin feud is not a direction WCW needed to be heading in, but I kind of liked this. The Assassin is still one of the greatest heels ever, and these are two old pros who know how to work the stick to get a reaction.
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Looking good, Eric. The difference in production values for WWF and WCW PPV reports are palpable. Footage of a chaotic brawl from Worldwide, that goes from backstage to the ring to outside. His talk show segments are awful, but you can't help but notice that the only high-quality angles and interviews going on in the company are revolving around Ric.
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Very good angle, and holy shit, that beatdown was pretty great. This is instantly the best thing Brian Lee's done on his own. Quite a few fans are actually pleased with this development.
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An abbreviated version of one of the Fargo videos from '90 or '91--definitely an old clip as it's got Michael St. John's voice. Lawler is out and is he fired up, explaining why he's gotten bad and mean. He doesn't give a hoot about anyone up North--not Vince, not Finkle, and not the Hart brothers. And then he eviscerates the WWF and Bret for instituting another "King" by virtue of "some rinky-dink tournament, beating three measly wrestlers" (!), then follows it up with a classic line about the Whopper. This is up there with the best Texas vs. Tennessee promos, in that this exact same promo could air on WWF TV and be a great heel promo. And now Lawler makes fun of Bret for having his little brother take care of his business for him! Lawler produces a photo of him laid out on the ring steps at the hands of Owen Hart--if that was an intentional nod to KOTR with Bret in the same position, then that's awesome. He closes it out with one more killer line: Owen may not just get the Whopper, he may get flame-broiled, too! Dave Brown is practically speechless. One of the best Lawler promos in God knows how long. One of his best ever. Between what's happened and what's going to happen between the WWF and Memphis, this looks like the leading candidate for Feud of the Year.
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Monsoon is on the phone browbeating "Kevin"--Dunn?--over which title changes took place where, before bringing us up to speed: the Monday after King of the Ring, the Steiners took the tag title belts from Money Inc. in Columbus, and a young PeteF3 was there to witness it. Money Inc. regained the belts two nights later in Rockford, but turned around and dropped them back in St. Louis. I have never understood why the Columbus title change hasn't seen the light of day--it was the opening match at a Challenge taping and there are still shots that look like camera footage. But it hasn't gotten release on Coliseum Video, WWE 24/7, or anywhere else. In an extremely interesting development, the Rockford match looks like IT was taped as well--that or just a slick editing job of previous footage. Gorilla hypes return matches against Money Inc., and tells us that the next title change could happen in YOUR hometown! He isn't wrong--seeing the first shock title change was the coolest thing in the world. I dunno if it's even possible to measure if this moved the needle at all but it was an extremely effective booking tactic.
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People all over the NYC/NJ/Philly area are grateful that Eddie Gilbert has arrived and become the King of Philadelphia. A video follows of Gilbert in action set to a Masterpiece Theatre theme knockoff. Was that Doug Furnas in there?
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A few weeks ago we had the best episode of WWF television in history to that point, in terms of major angles and surprises. Now we have probably the best in-ring episode of WWF television in the pre-MNW era, as this is a terrific contest that tells its story perfectly. Kid throws everything he has at Razor and gets a bunch of near-falls, before Ramon takes over and absolutely brutalizes the Kid. One of the sickest chokeslams ever just about knocks the Kid out, and then Razor toys with him with submission holds, before setting up for a Razor's Edge on the exposed concrete! Kid escapes, and is about to dive off the floor when he loses his footing and goes SPLAT in one of the most sickening spots of the year, non-Foley division. And yet, it fit in with the story of the match and they covered it just fine. They cleverly re-do the finish to the previous match, but this time Razor kicks out of the moonsault. That's when the Kid grabs the sack of cash and bails. Incredible that the Kid was able to even finish the match considering the punishment he took. It's unbelievable how much the WWF is leaving WCW in the dust now. It's always been more cohesive and better-promoted, and at many times been better booked. But now the one point of difference that was always in WCW's favor--the ring work--has evaporated. Even as business is declining the WWF is at a real artistic peak.
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WWF MOTY? Looking at it again right after King of the Ring and I think it has a very strong case. This is incredibly multilayered for a WWF TV match--you have the early mind games played by both guys, the story of Jannetty's high flying vs. Doink's mat skills, Doink taking out Jannetty's knee and Marty's incredible sell of the leg injury, and they even throw multiple curveballs at us with regard to the double Doink: Borne goes under the ring but doesn't immediately switch off, and Keirn has thought to pre-smear his face paint. Not to mention Jannetty and the crowd getting in on a terrific audience-participation spot. Even with the involvement of two clowns the psychology here is some fucking All-Japan level shit, folks. Jae over at the DVDVR boards was doing a '93 WWF Year in Review and he had me convinced that Doink and Jannetty were up with Bret as the best workers in the company, and I think these matches are bearing that out.
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I did like the build to the first use of the chain, with both guys avoiding each other for the opening minutes. Slow going after that, but a heated finish. Kevin Christian takes over the officiating when John Finnegan gets creamed, and he and Paul E. conspire to screw Funk over. Tod Gordon fires Christian afterward and earns a cell phone to the head. Serves him right--he attacked Christian first. -
I didn't hate Snuka/Steamboat as much as some others, but I do remember Snuka taking a Steamboat chop to the chest and running forward bumping over the top rope as being one of the most eye-rolling bumps I've ever seen.
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Good promos hyping Beach Blast, but Roma still sticks out like a sore thumb.
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OH GOD THE PAIN, MAKE IT STOP. Fuller, to his credit, is the first Flair for the Gold guest to utilize this time to push a program and try to make some money. A BOMB is gonna be dropped at Beach Blast, in the form of a power bomb. This somehow is the best of the Flair for the Golds (Flairs for the Gold?) so far, even if Flair's hair was a mess, even if Flair and Parker weren't actually talking to each other, and even if the ending of this felt incredibly rushed.
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Oh God, the perfect follow-up to that mini-movie. Long mic cord there, Catherine. She eventually comes across the world's most well-groomed bum, whom she pays to take him to Cactus. He walks off and Catherine's purse gets snatched. Serves her right for carrying that around while on the job.
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So, so much awful here. Vader and Sid in wrestling gear. Parker taking the opposite approach and wearing his colonel's outfit while boating in the Gulf of Mexico. The Jaws knock-off music. the Jarmuschian use of fadeouts, Davey Boy's line readings, the weird transition to a spaghetti western...and the whole fucking premise. The only thing I can say about this is that I don't think it's quite as bad as the worst of the Black Scorpion--the last WTBBP podcast on Clash 13 reinforced that for me. I want to know who was responsible for these mini-movies. It's too easy to just pin it on the Executive VP, because they occurred under Watts, under the interregnum period, and here (I don't even know if Bischoff was in power yet). It had to be somebody above them. This is the most unbelievable of them all.
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It's Snoop Dogg in the WMC studios, as NEW JACK makes his Yearbook debut! As a smily, happy, handshaking babyface at that! Mark Freer is upset about something and New Jack encourages him to get back to his roots. Sage advice--it worked for Tony Atlas. He's now THE HOMEBOY, y'know what I mean? He's out in a White Sox cap and baggy gold pants, and the requisite inner-city gangsta ponytail. This is all pretty hilarious--New Jack & Homeboy come off as only slightly cooler than PN News.
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Lawler calls out Bret for never responding to Jeff Jarrett's initial challenge, then for having the audacity to call himself the "King." I love the shot of Lawler heaving the throne down on Bret in the context of the USWA bumper music.
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Lizmark vs. Jerry Estrada, 6/18/93 This is a hell of a match indeed, with a terrific Lizmark performance for the first fall and Estrada stepping up his game in the third. The psychology surrounding the Tirabuzon submission is great--Lizmark outwrestles Estrada at every turn, but Estrada seems to have one submission in his holster that Lizmark doesn't have an answer for. After tapping him to win the second fall the third fall is about Lizmark trying to escape being put in that hold again. I think I have the 2/14 trios match as the current Lucha MOTY but this is a solid #2.
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The build-up had me hoping for a MOTYC, which I didn't really get, but it was a hell of a war nevertheless. Hash zeroes in on Tenryu's leg and Tenryu does one of his better sells in that regard, before starting a big comeback when he counters a Hash DDT attempt. Huge win for Tenryu to make up for his early exit in the elimination match.
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Man, Fuyuki was totally sandbagging until it was time for the stretch run. Until that superplex, Hase got jack shit. Fuyuki was cutting him off at every turn. It was really beginning to annoy me, but the closing stretch was really heated and epic, with a few inventive spots like Fuyuki basically riding Hase off the turnbuckle like a sled. Good near-falls follow before Hase puts him away with the Northern Lights. This is like the best possible Worldwide/Pro main event, since it's a mid-card bout between two guys you'd never guess would have faced each other--I certainly did a double-take when I saw the pre-match graphic. I'd be interested to see what Fuyuki matches in FMW could be better than this one.
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Flair's big return and they can't even be bothered to play Also Sprach Zarathustra for him--not an auspicious start. The crowd is nuts for Flair and his big debut beating the shit out of Austin and fish-hooking him is really well-done. There are some great moments of viciousness here, and Arn's work as a one-legged FIP is pretty outstanding, but the match as a whole is a lot less than the sum of its parts. This is another 2/3 fall Clash main event that felt the ravages of a show running long, as I distinctly remember my attention being split between the match and the clock when I first saw this, as there were about 5 minutes of TV time left and we were still in the second fall. Windham solves that problem with a cheap run-in DQ, followed by a tepid Roma save. The Flair/Windham fight on the floor is a pretty cool way to end the program, but this was an underwhelming match a whole.
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Oh goody, it's Michael Buffer's debut. Man your battle stations indeed. But the match itself is every bit as good as its rep, and a real feather in the cap for Windham to get a classic NWA title match structure with someone who works the style of Scorpio. Windham dictates the pace for most of the match casually unleashing big suplexes and bombs before letting Scorpio get off one of the greatest runs of near-falls you'll ever see. His near-killing of Chris Benoit at Slamboree notwithstanding, it's incredible how smooth and effortless the execution is on Scorpio's big moves, in comparison to a contemporary darling like Sabu. I still don't know how the hell he did that 450 splash from the apron. Great finish as Windham creams Scorpio with an uppercut out of mid-air to set up the leaping DDT. Windham was not a "traveling champion," but this match was still worked as such, and thus may be the final time we see the classic NWA World title formula.
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Eddie finally gets a chance to rebut Terry Funk. His ragging on the Phillies for being so terrible is rather funny--they would go to the World Series four months later.
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Glad to see Chono finally facing off with Tenryu and his boys. It's NJPW vs. WAR, and it's a 5-on-5 NJPW match. Two of my favorite things in wrestling. The result? Well...it's a good match, but frankly nowhere close to the classic 5-on-5s we've seen before. There's a big, markout-worthy shock moment early on as Tenryu is the first man on his team to be eliminated, shortly after he takes out Hase. A huge turning point that the crowd goes nuts for (as do I), but I think this was a case of Choshu being too clever by half--with Tenryu out the result is a foregone conclusion. And that dynamic just gets worse as the match goes on, good though the action is. So when it comes down to Strong Machine & Ishikawa on one side facing Choshu, Hash, and Chono on the other, it all adds up to "Yeah, RIGHT. As if." In spite of themselves, they get across a fairly compelling story of Ishikawa showing fighting spirit in taking a 3-on-1 beating, though at times the NJPW side just comes across as bullies, triple-teaming a gassed Ishikawa with no partner to save him. I may be projecting, but I think the crowd really, really wanted to see a big Ishikawa comeback and maybe grab a shock elimination of his own before going down, but it wasn't to be. I sound more down on this than I really am but this sort of comes across as a foreshadowing of how the NJPW/UWFI feud would play out, as WAR was pretty definitively buried here. The crowd was into it, but compared to the nuclear crowds frothing at the mouth through every moment of earlier matches, the heat was noticeably down.
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This is an IWGP title match? What the fucking fuck did Kabuki do to earn a title shot? I groaned when I saw these two, but this turned out better than I thought. Very much a WWF-style comic book match in a New Japan setting. For a guy who people barely ever know was ever a babyface at all, Kabuki has always made for a very good one. Muta does his standard spots before Kabuki makes a comeback, then mists the referee and goes nuts with a chair. Laaaaame finish for an IWGP title match, but pretty well-done in a vacuum. Kabuki gets on the stick and threatens (in English) to kill "my son"--hey, they're still clinging to that story. This was okay for what it was but I'm not sure this really needed a rematch, which is what they're apparently building toward.