PeteF3
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God, even Monsoon is practically creaming himself over the Bodyslam Heard 'Round the World. Monsoon follows this up by gushing about this Great Land of Ours and Luger's trip across it, hoping to flood the offices of Jack Tunney with cards, faxes, and telegrams demanding a title shot. I'm really going to try to as objective as possible regarding this push as I live through it again, but for the first couple of weeks it is every bit as excruciating to watch as it was on first blush. This guy was a Narcissist cheapshotting people with a metal forearm ONE MONTH AGO, you fucking imbeciles. It made me want to tear my hair out then and the same thing is happening now. At least Hogan had spent some years away after his WWF heel run before returning as a conquering hero.
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Four grumpy bastards beating the shit out of each other--everything I love out of this feud. Not that I'm tired of it or anything, but one has to admit that the heat and the action had slowed a bit from its awesome origins at the end of '92, so Chono is indeed a breath of fresh air. This is the best Fujinami has looked since the '80s ended, and his hail mary tope to take out Tenryu was one of the highlights of the match, as was clobbering an unsuspecting Hara with the knee as he backed away from a Yakuza kick. Great finish and finishing stretch all around. -
Crush just doesn't have enough to make this particularly good, but it is a strong dominating performance from Yokozuna, who squashes Crush in somewhat clean fashion (with a minor assist from Fuji). They did a great job of getting Yokozuna over as an angry monster as a result of the Stars & Stripes Challenge, and he levels Crush with three more Banzai Splashes after the match and wipes out Tatanka and the jobber brigade as well. Randy Savage is contractually prevented from getting physically involved, and doesn't pull Crush away until he already is out and requires a stretcher. Vince is already verbally fellatting the New All-American Lex Luger, and I'm stunned they made a bunch of references to Crush's home state without invoking Pearl Harbor. Heenan was terrific in laying all of this at the feet of Lex, however. Some of his very best work since Flair's departure. ISTR he even went into a quasi-shoot rant later in the show accusing McMahon of treating his wrestlers like meat.
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I know it's New Year's Eve, but this year it's just another night before work again in the morning. Yearbook time it is! Not really a great match, but they cut a quick pace with almost nothing in the way of stalling. Hawk does some no-sell shit but he also is pretty energetic here, moreso than he was for most of his WWF run. Also, it's not every day you get to see Hawk do a top-rope clothesline to a blow-up doll. Fairly clean finish to boot. Dennis Coraluzzo takes a beating after the match and Gilbert throws a tantrum on the mic. Does this make Hawk the new King of Philadelphia?
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I guess all those concerns about exposing a pregnant Collette to Cleveland weren't really that important. Bang Bang has made Cactus move and--oh, for fuck's sake, forget it. The homeless guy doesn't look any different, except he wears a dress shirt and tie now. Cactus has now become some sort of Phil Connors-esque inspirational guiding light for his whole territory. Seems like he's contributing more to society through this than he is through wrestling. Foley is practically catatonic throughout all of this, which stands out considering how good of an actor he normally is. Normally I'm of the, "Fuck you, do you're paid to do" mentality--be it acting or wrestling--but in this case I can't blame him a bit. Meanwhile Catherine White is obviously prepping for a big community theater audition.
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Damned if the Bruise Brothers don't look halfway-competent here. Their offense looks okay and they put the Rock 'n Rolls offense over. Of course, Ricky Morton could probably drag a compelling match out of El Gigante & Zeus. Cornette whacks Robert Gibson with the tennis racket and the Bruise Brothers are new Smoky Mountain Tag Team Champions.
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Strong words from Tracey, vowing to re-hospitalize Brian Lee. Lee comes out and they have a good back-and-forth--it's incredible how much better Lee has gotten on the stick, as a talker and a personality. As the brawl erupts, Fytch yanks Smothers' hair and waits for him to hesitate from hitting her, allowing Tammy to spray him in the eyes with something.
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Disco laments how Tennessee rednecks are too stupid to have any discos around, listening to miserable honky tonk country music instead. He's going after Danny Davis' USWA Middleweight title. Dave Brown is nonplussed.
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I mentioned this in one of the threads, but if there's a '93 Errata set then it needs to touch on the Brian Christopher vs. Chris Adams feud from July, with Toni Adams as Christopher's heel valet. Thanks to an accident of timing, the significance of that feud wasn't as obvious as it was once the 1990 set was out.
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Paul Neighbors has begun a heel turn and blatantly favors Christopher throughout the match, calling Lawler for phantom hair pulls and unclean breaks while ignoring Christopher doing the same. Christopher also has MISS SIMPSON in his corner--none other than our favorite wrestler's wife from 1990, Toni Adams! Too bad this Yearbook pre-dated 1990, because there was a whole Chris Adams/Brian Christopher feud over this that I'm sure would have been touched on more had its significance been known. After a ref bump, we get the debut of Vampire Warrior, the guy presumably behind Prentice that Lawler was talking about. He's still wearing his Black Phantom/Blackhearts gear at this point. I'd say objectively this has to be the most successful of all of the Memphis monster gimmicks. A number of jobbers try to save Lawler from the 3-on-1 (with Macklin particularly marking out for TD Steel), but to no avail. Fun segment, about as Memphis as Memphis gets.
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Lawler's bold prediction came true, as he has regained the Unified title from Owen Hart. Lawler has words for some monster that Bert Prentice is bringing in. Jennifer puts herself into the conversation for Best Bumper with that dive off the Jetski. Yeesh.
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Legit top 5 MOTYC. This was truly fantastic, with no Negro Casas to fuck things up for us. Felino is probably not the best luchador of his day but he might be the guy I most wish had made it to WCW--he had incredible amounts of energy, crazy bumping skills, and enough high-flying that I think he could have gotten over. Agreed on how American this is, with full-blown "control segments" and body part psychology, building slowly to the big bumps and dives in the third fall. Ciclon takes two of the nastiest post shots I have ever seen, and all three winning submissions look suitably nasty. The only thing holding this back from being a true MOTY rather than just a candidate is that Felino's third-fall victory seemed to come a little too easily for my liking--he'd just eaten a huge dive and was getting the shit kicked out of him, but a few punches is all that turned the tide. That's a really minor nitpick, though. This is one of the best lucha efforts since 1990. How is it I'd never heard of Ciclon Ramirez before getting to this set?
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Like the 6-man WCWSN--very basic and workmanlike, but good. This was worked almost like an undercard U.S. match, with Akiyama mostly working basic holds and mid-range moves toward the end.
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Same promo as last week, more or less. Gilbert announces a plan to tax the people of Philadelphia. And then talks about a brother named "Freddie" (???)
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Somewhere between PN News and Rakim, there is Oscar. I still think "Mabel" is the most ludicrous name in WWF history. I guess they went with that over Agatha, Prudence, or Millicent. That they didn't change it when they attempted to push him as a top heel was unfathomable.
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Ye gods, that national anthem rendition was almost Carl Lewis-bad. Francis Scott Off-Key, indeed. This might be the fullest video footage of the event that we have. I must have missed this Raw, because I don't remember seeing this--I just remember feeling ripped off that this thing wasn't televised. Bill Fralic and Crush come close and actually get Yokozuna halfway off his feet, but can't finish. Randy Savage is the last person left, and can't come close. The landing of the helicopter is quite cool, as are all the fans turning to look at it while Pettingill is doing his wrap-ups. And out comes the Narcissist. To a tepid initial reaction, albeit with some "LEX" chants. Luger STANDS UP FOR AMERICA. Fuji spits on Luger in response and gets heaved from the ring--quite the spry bump from the oldster. This was quite the slick production, but part of it still comes off as overwrought and phony. Luger going from the Narcissist to an American Hero in the span of two seconds just reeked of desperation, and Vince comes off as a gullible sucker. Furthermore--and I get that Vince had the Feds breathing down his neck and felt it necessary to maintain a clean image--the Reagan Administration and the era of super-patriotism was (temporarily) over. Grunge was a bigger deal than Cyndi Lauper or Stars & Stripes Forever. The WWF immediately comes off as being behind the times with this New Hogan attempt--not something that applied the Old Hogan in 1984. I may have more to say about this as the Luger push continues, but watching at the time this was came off as one of the most intolerable periods in WWF history. And I had sat through the WM6 build.
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I know Things Were Different Then but I think it's kind of crazy that Flair's in-ring return was on a taped program before his "actual" live return. Anyway, there was nothing spectacular here but this was a good, solid, hard-hitting workmanlike match. Roma was pretty useless but the other five were very good, and Flair is certainly re-energized after his hiatus. Flair gets a hot tag with about 60 seconds of TV time left and goes nuts on the whole heel team, then figure-fours Barry as the other Horsemen cut off the Blonds in a cool All-Japan 6-man moment. Windham heaves Nick Patrick to the floor to draw a DQ, kind of a clever bullshit finish when it looked like they were going to the draw.
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What a perfect follow-up to my point about SMW and WCW vignettes. A doctor has advised Catherine White to bring somebody from Jack's past to jog his memory. Cleveland is too dangerous for Colette, so next on the list is a gravely concerned Dustin Rhodes. Cactus invites Dustin to regale his mates with one of his country tunes, before Bang Bang tells everyone to leave. Dustin does the pistol thing and Cactus responds in kind, before Bang Bang gets everything shut down. THE BIGGEST THING THESE PROMOS ARE SETTING UP IS A FUCKING CATHERINE WHITE VS. "BANG BANG" FEUD. FOR FUCK'S SAKE. AT LEAST THE BLACK FUCKING SCORPION SERVED A GODDAMNED POINT. Yes, I will agree, there are glimpses of Dustin the Actor here.
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Fytch's whiny bitch character is falling into place. Lee's logic in turning makes perfect sense, as he points out that Tracey Smothers had every babyface in the locker room watching his back when the DWB put a bounty on him, but Lee didn't get the same benefit with Kevin Sullivan. And he points out that Smothers impeded himself in Lee's business and got the title shots at DWB that Lee was entitled to. Then we get some stunningly innuendo-laden stuff involving Fytch--"he's so big!" Very good piece of business, and instantly Lee's best promo ever. On 1/10 the budget this is better put-together than anything WCW has done this year.
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Good-looking action, and possibly Owen's first match as a heel. Lawler goes nuts with piledrivers, drawing a DQ and setting up a no-time limit, no-disqualification rematch. Owen Hart and Bert Prentice are a hilariously mismatched couple. Owen for the first time proclaims himself the "King of Harts"! Owen is pretty scattershot in his promo but his patented whiny heel shtick is already there. Lawler notices that Owen is 6 inches shorter than he was before the match started. This is one of those "spell the result out without breaking kayfabe" promos, as they more or less spell out that Lawler is getting the Unified title back.
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Yeah, this is great--spectacular, even--but I didn't come away from it thinking, "Greatest 6-man ever." I don't think it's far off, just not quite as memorable as the 4/92 6-man where all the babyfaces get their submissions in on the Jumbo Team, to name one example that sticks out. They did attempt a sort of rehash of the 4/90 Misawa/Jumbo "things getting out of control" moment where Kawada and Misawa start stiffing the shit out of each other, climaxing with Kawada cheap-shotting Misawa with a stiff kick as Kyohei Wada is restraining him. There was some hate and stiffness throughout this, but things still settled down into a more traditional AJPW 6-man. I agree that Kobashi pinning Ogawa is kind of an underwhelming result that doesn't add much to the story, though the build to the moonsault and Misawa restraining Kawada on the apron were done well.
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This earned a big fat whatever. Gilbert makes some token attempt to get some heat by insulting the Phillies, 76ers, and Flyers, but otherwise this goes nowhere.
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Funk implies that he knows the Dark Patriot's true identity, all while talking directly to Tod Gordon holding the mic instead of the camera.
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Catherine White is hotter than Fifi. There, I said it. And I'll say it again. The World's Most Well-Groomed Bum leads White, and us, to Cactus Jack, regaling other bums with philosophical musings about his life at sea. We also meet his new girl, and her name is "Bang Bang." He's barely on-camera for two minutes but Jack already sounds tired of this shit by the end of the segment, and I can't say as I blame him.
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Fifi is really eager to get Dusty Rhodes' autograph. Cute. Dusty is now a "big time producer at Turner Broadcasting." Dusty is putting over Dustin and Rude when a DOORBELL rings. Oh, of course the Assassin would ring a doorbell before entering a set. He accuses Flair's guest of being a Dusty Rhodes imitator. Assassin is so fat and out of shape that his mask barely fits on his head, but there's genuine heat for this. At the time it really seemed like they were building to a match between these two, which was a terrifying thought. Assassin implies that he'll get Dusty back into the ring by going after his family. God help me, because a Dusty/Assassin feud is not a direction WCW needed to be heading in, but I kind of liked this. The Assassin is still one of the greatest heels ever, and these are two old pros who know how to work the stick to get a reaction.