PeteF3
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Apparently having matching facepaint is enough to win a Sting Lookalike Contest. How lame. There's a part of me that thinks a wrestling card held on a cruise ship would make for a really, really cool and unique atmosphere. Then the pragmatic part of me takes over and coldly informs me of the myriad reasons why it wouldn't really work. -
Not a lot of depth here but this was still fun. The Hardliners' post-match attack is effective and kind of a serendipitously convenient way to get the tag titles off the Steiners, as they take apart Rick Steiner's arm. The crowd is way into the Steiners' act but...there's no real conceivable heel team that anyone bought as being able to beat them, which is a problem (not to mention yet another reason why the Doom split was rushed).
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They seem to be resurrecting the concept of the Bash tour. World Champion contractual issues aside, with the PPV a month away shouldn't they be getting around to announcing matches at some point? This isn't the Monday Night Wars where you could book and hype a PPV card the week before the event.
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Good action for a TV match but Jesus Christ, it's absurd how little focus was given to the loser-leaves stip, to the point where it had no meaning at all. And that can't all be blamed on being short of time--the idea of a guy's career being on the line was given about one line of lip service during the match. The only rational explanation I can think of is they wanted to do this banned-guy-shows-up-under-a-mask angle but consciously chose not to hype the stip to too great of a degree or else people would expect to see Pillman turn up in the WWF. Regardless, the entire presentation is enough to sour me on the match itself no matter how good the work was. That it came 3 months after Warrior vs. Savage, which was hyped properly and also had longer-term consequences, just exacerbates everything. "Brian Pillman must leave WCW, and now here's Paul E. Dangerously with a Clash of the Champions report!" Unreal. Going by his fawning over Pillman for the past several months on end, Jim Ross should be either slitting his wrists or condemning Barry Windham's soul to hell, or both. This promotion now really is coming off as a bigger wreck than it did during the Black Scorpion saga.
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Maybe one or more of the group was a wrestling fan? They'd show up at WM11, too. That I could see, but otherwise I'm lost as to how a pretty major act was booked to appear with PN News on a southern wrasslin' card, national TV or not. Badd and Long show how progressive they are not only in terms of Pride but also having their entrance music magically play when they're making an unplanned appearance. Long informs Pepa and Spinderella that, "Both y'all can't be next, but one of ya'll sho' can be first." And I'm not sure if that was a legitimate line flub or not, which makes it even funnier. Johnny B. Badd is the ORIGINAL Rapmaster. PN News is a big old ugly bear, and he does not take being DISSED kindly. Badd scampers. This was moronic, yet entertaining for all the wrong reasons. Both of the Big Two were attemping to be cutting-edge in some ways--the WWF with current events and WCW with pop culture here--and yet both times they came off as edgy as a wet bowling ball.
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"Tombstone piledriver" as a name goes back to at least the mid-'70s when Billy Robinson was using it, though I'm kind of surprised they were using the term here. Nikita doesn't bring anything worthwhile to the table but Sting is still working hard here and drags this closing stretch into something pretty decent.
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Paul E. asks Hervey various questions about The Wonder Years and cuts him off before he can respond. What a fucking shrimp--Paul E. towers over this guy and I'm pretty sure Gary Coleman could have kicked his ass, too. My only real familiarity with The Wonder Years as a kid was it came on in local syndication right after The Disney Afternoon after school, as a rather blunt signal that cartoon time was over for the day. So my only regret about this segment was that Fred Savage didn't get a phone upside the head as well.
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He really wasn't that convincing. "Sociopathic weirdo clown and by the way he's a technical wrestling genius" suited him much better.
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No actors dressed as Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, or the Lion here like there were at SuperBrawl, and no Kevin Sullivan yapping "WELCOME TO OZ, WELCOME TO OZ." I shudder to think how much money was spent on this entrance and outfit. Burning question: with the Sam Raimi picture having success this year, is it time to bring this gimmick back?
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Experience the lifestyle of Ric Flair...er, no thanks.
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This one goes back to being wrestled on the level. On one hand that's a logical progression in the story--like with Ricky Steamboat in 1987, Liger going for brutal bloody revenge didn't get him the final result he wanted, so to get his title back he had to dial back the hate a bit. On the other, Honaga is less interesting here because we see that when he's not yanking on turnbuckle pads or punching Liger in the nuts, he's not that interesting on offense except for his 37 neckbreaker clotheslines. They do run through some hot near-falls. I loved Liger busting out the Billy Robinson/Johnny Saint counter that I can't describe but you know when you see, and Honaga's baseball slide-into-sunset-flip had me (and everyone else) believing he'd stolen yet another one. The early slower parts hold this back from being as good as the previous bouts in this series but this was a satisfying conclusion to Liger's quest.
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Screw this Triple Crown shit, the SPORTSCHANNEL TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP is on the line here. It's a hard-hitting slugfest worthy of such a prestigious championship--in fact, having very little exposure to him in ECW and with the Steiners matches in the inner reaches of my memory, I'm hard-pressed to think of a better Bam Bam performance and match. Doc is much more fired-up too, as he gets to work babyface and an underneath babyface at that. I think sometimes Doc needs a Hansen or other big, overbearing personality to push him--or at least he did at this point in his career. This is obviously the artistic high point of Abrams' UWF.
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Way more energetic with Pillman instead of Josh, natch. Pillman gets a pretty good FIP segment for its length and Eaton and Flair brawl to the back to continue the set-up for their Clash match-up. Compare and contrast the amount of hype this loser-leaves-WCW stip has gotten in comparison to Warrior vs. Savage. I get that they were bigger stars, but that one felt like a war to end all wars while the other is a mid-card match that gets less hype than an Omni house show.
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Just 3 guys arriving in a Western ghost town (you can tell because all the signs are labeled "GHOST TOWN") on horseback, then walking to face off with another man. This was slightly more enthralling than the Master Blasters' legs walking through a junkyard.
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Why is Hervey actively trying to heel himself during these intros? I honestly think it could work if everyone committed to it, but...actually commit to it, guys. Arn pays grudging respect to Eaton and Dusty, but takes offense when Big Dust asks if he'd target the World Heavyweight title and walks off. Paul E. comes out to confront Jason Hervey, who disgustingly plays the Chester the Terrier to Dusty's Spike the Bulldog. These really make want to see Hervey play an all-out, duplicitous Eddie Haskell-type heel manager, but since that isn't going to happen and since I never watched and hold no emotional attachment to The Wonder Years, it just makes me want to see Hervey walk into an airplane propeller.
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"Oprah, eat your heart out!" Because she's Black, I guess. Badd is repulsed by Missy's touch, but wants her fragrance. Mero is throwing everything he's got into this, but this is rough. Eventually he'd learn to use the gimmick to enhance his working ability rather than smother it. Long is also working the homoerotic gimmick himself, at least that's what I'm picking up. This is a really disappointing step backward for a guy who was in prime position to be the company's top manager about 6 months prior.
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Josh and Arn do a shockingly heatless segment to start off--Borne was just so woefully miscast in this role. Then they tag out and don't get involved for the rest of the match until the finish, so Eaton and Flair can do their thing. Flair and Bobby throw great punches at each other and they tease an Eaton pinfall when he hits the Alabama Jam, but Arn breaks it up and eventually Eaton starts swinging around Josh's ax handle for the DQ. TM Dusty Rhodes Booking. This was a little disappointing considering how much of the focus was on Flair and Eaton--Flair's role seems to be increasingly marginalized, even as World Champion. The big jump is something that looks more and more like the correct and inevitable way to go. The Atlanta Braves are now making their historic worst-to-first run, which JR and Paul E. plug and then use as an excuse to take some passive-aggressive sarcastic potshots at Skip Caray. I found that amusing.
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I suspect this is the official signal that Lawler has the book again. Ta-Gar has roamed the galaxy in search of battle, and his search for new gladiators has led him to a local low-rent wrestling promotion.
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Great way to set up a Lawler/Embry confrontation without actually delivering on anything. I hope they don't waste the great build for this match like they did with Lawler vs. Gilbert earlier in the year.
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This had some usual heel bullshit with the chain and mic spots that probably weren't necessary, but picked up big-time into a bomb-fest with Davis looking great both selling and on offense. Embry's cheating to win comes off as desperation rather than cheating because that's what heels do, which is refreshing. One of the better USWA-TX matches on this set for sure.
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It's pretty wild that the WWF was able to put on a gimmick match with more blood and hatred and less bullshit than anything out of the state of Texas. I like me some good World Class/USWA bullshit but here they take the referee out of the equation entirely, which from a kayfabe perspective you'd think the USWA would do a lot more often. In a world without Warrior/Savage this is the WWF MOTY. It's a borderline one-man-show from Slaughter, who sells blood loss better than just about anyone in history. He makes not being able to lift a chair over his head out to be a sensible spot. Hogan is sort of along for the ride for much of this, but does provide some new tricks like powder and fire and a headbutt with the protective mask on, and his final comeback is really good, maybe because there's no "Hulking Up"--it's just a fiery, traditional babyface comeback. Hogan locks in Slaughter's own camel clutch and that gets Adnan to throw in the towel.
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I love the York Foundation theme. Right out of an early-'90s corporate training video, probably literally. Arn damn near fits into this group, with the matching monogrammed tights and "WHAT'S THAT DAMN COMPUTER SAY?!" Intrigue as Alexandra York whispers something to Ricky Morton, who walks out--yeah, this was clearly before the Danger Zone segment, and it makes Dustin's frustration later on a little more understandable. A lot of the hand-wringing over the Dustin push seemed to be people complaining about stuff that hadn't happened yet--like it was inevitable that Dustin was going to unseat Flair or something. Here he's portrayed as a promising athlete whose inexperience costs him and Bobby at times during the match, which is a perfectly reasonable place for him to be. This was a fun little match with a decisive finish that sees Dustin looking pretty darn good. Dustin calls out Mr. Hughes afterward but York pulls him away. I wonder how close Dusty was to having someone break a wooden chair over his head.
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"Kevin Sullivan, I know that you know about voodoo." "Who do?" "YOU do!" "I do what?" "Voodoo!" Incredible. Sullivan tries to play up the feud with El Gigante with all of his usual mysticism talking points, as he seems to imply that the Gang had his way with the Lady of the Third Eye. Sullivan actually manages to get in a good promo amidst all this nonsense while the Gang half-assedly pretends to fly in the background, until Jason Hervey's voodoo overcomes the Gang and he goes into convulsions, as Sullivan says he must be allergic to the hay. HOW THE LIVING FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BUILD UP THE GANG AS A GIGANTE OPPONENT WHEN JASON FUCKING HERVEY KNOWS HOW TO TAKE HIM OUT??! Absolutely mind-boggling. This guy was better off in his Easter egg outfit dancing with Slick. I'm almost morbidly fascinated by how Arn Anderson is going to be able to coexist with this setting.
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It'll be interesting to see where this goes. I mean, I know where it goes--but after being very unfamiliar with heel Morton (SPOILER) I'm anxious to see how it plays out now.
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Ric Flair plagiarism aside, this is an incredible heel promo by Embry. Maybe his best in the role.