PeteF3
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Everything posted by PeteF3
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Shameless as all hell, from the blinking "HULK RULES" which comes off as downright sinister, to the funereal string version of "Real American," to the worried children with Hulk Hogan Friendship BraceletsTM, to the cool shot of Hogan's t-shirt and crucifix hanging in a locker (which real sports teams usually reserve for dead teammates) with the door slamming shut on it to close things out. Not that it's not completely brilliant at the same time. This went a long way to saving an angle that came off incredibly flat live.
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I didn't think much of the rudos (or Aguilita) until the third fall, actually, when everyone stepped their game up and the rudos came up with about eleventy billion new miscommunication spots. Before then Sagrada was working on another level from everyone else. Fun post-match too, with full-sized rudos executing a big beatdown until the technico counterparts make the save, with Mascarita getting a measure of revenge by leveling Fuerza Guerrera with a plancha. Fuerza, God bless him, sells it like a gunshot. -
I thought the middle of this dragged as badly as any other UWF match I've been cold on, but the opening was really hot with Takada basically suckering Maeda into getting anklelocked, and the closing sequence was tremendous. We get that same "impending dread" feeling with Maeda about to hit the capture suplex which will surely finish Takada off. Takada manages to slip out of the frying pan right into the fire, and has nowhere else to go when Maeda kneebars him.
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Standard JYD promo.
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Another standout promo from Jake, who's doing his damnedest to make this feud work. Can't wait for the Harlem Sewer Rats to really send this program into the stratosphere.
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Fantastic aggressive opening from Toyota just pounding the shit out of Hotta in the corner, then tossing in a "Fuck you, Hokuto" dive *over* the guardrails. This turns into a really fun clash of styles between Hotta's kicks and suplexes and Toyota going back to her go-go-go style after the opening flurry. Big trading of near-falls towards the end and Toyota ekes out a victory. Yeah, I had a lot of issues with the execution towards the end as these girls did not seem to be on the same page at all at that point. Not in a "this didn't look cooperative enough" sense but with weird moments like Toyota just letting go of a Northern Lights suplex instead of Hotta kicking out of it. The holds also lost me, but maybe that's because it's 2 am. You can't accuse the ladies of using "restholds" and Toyota is so ridiculously flexible that routine submissions look absolutely deadly. But...they did go on for awhile. Good match with Hotta really bringing something different to the table as far as 1990 joshi goes and Toyota working outside of her comfort zone, but there is no way this is a MOTY contender. EDIT: Good action in the post-tournament highlight reel, but hey, let's add a fucking slo-mo of Hokuto destroying her leg. Stay classy, AJW.
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Goodness, that was uncomfortable. Dueling crowd chants to start, which is actually organic and not two smark factions trying to get themselves over. Toyota levels Hokuto with dropkick after dropkick to start but goes to the well once too often and ends up in a Boston crab. The crab actually goes a LITTLE long for my tastes (and this was before I knew the finish) though you certainly can't accuse either girl of laying in the hold. Hokuto attempts a dive to the floor and her leg slams into the guardrail in a brutal spot, and the match has to be thrown out. Hokuto is crying hysterically and Toyota looks like she's about to do the same, and Hokuto is pretty adamant about continuing against all reasonable logic. Listening to the Bengals game on the way home from work I heard Boomer Esiason talk about coaches sometimes needing to "save players from themselves," and I kept waiting for someone in authority to do that with Hokuto and just get a stretcher for the woman and get her out of there. Eventually she concedes and limps to the back.
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Where do you get the AU-DA-SATAY to think you can wear the gold??!
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Double-ugh. It was a routine promo before that needless bit of horseshit.
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Tatum dodges a dropkick in the corner by Todd Overbow who crotches himself on the turnbuckle. Tatum profusely apologizes for this and rather guiltily pins him. He gives him an apologetic hug after the match, then superkicks him when he turns his back. Then he takes exception to a ringside fan calling him a jerk and fucking HEAVES Overbow directly at the fans. And he didn't throw him "into the crowd," he threw him AT people--presumably honest-to-God paying fans. Then Tatum apologizes again and runs to the back. Now I'm really wishing we could see what Jerry Jarrett could do on a national stage, at least when he still had some zip on his booking fastball. The Memphis and Texas promotions are putting out what are easily the two most fascinating angles of the moment.
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Fritz Von Erich's horsefaced son was carried out last night with a bad neck. Kerry's last match for the promotion was 7/7, as I remember reading the other day--Pringle hypes up another Kerry/Borne match, then declares that Chris Von Erich can have his debut match against him and produces a set of Chris' first wrestling trunks which is basically a thong. Pringle's bug-eyed act is so much better now that he's playing a nutcase for a rather low-rent promotion than trying to act as the dignified manager of a "World Champion." IT'S YOUR FAULT OLD WOMAN, IT'S YOUR FAULT PUNK, IT'S YOUR FAULT FRITZ, IT'S YOUR FAULT DORIS.
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The Wrestling Fan's Hotline is YOUR hotline.
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Austin is getting better on the mic, though he's not really comfortable when it comes to spinning a yarn--he's better interacting with the crowd or abusing Craig Johnson. Jeannie reminds the women watching that she doesn't get her dresses from Kmart or Target, and asks how they feel when they look in the mirror and see what they ate for breakfast hanging off of them.
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A whole lot to digest here. Akbar doesn't exactly aim high if he's "dreamed at night" that Jeff Jarrett & Jeff Gaylord is the greatest tag team of all-time. Jarrett suckers Akbar into doubling his signing bonus to become the newest member of Devastation Inc. Jarrett is immediately swapped in for Sheik Braddock in a tag match later on, against Billy Joe Travis and somebody named Usher. I've heard stories but it really is indescribable how awful Jeff Gaylord is. Jarrett talks him into posing for everyone and gets him open for a shot to the jaw, which leads to an alleged Travis pin, even though Travis hops up and starts celebrating after Bronko Lubich has barely counted one. Then later Brickhouse Brown revealed that he got Akbar to pay him $15,000 because he's the leader of the Uptown Posse, and Reggie B. Fine and Sweet Daddy Falcone work for him. That doesn't go well for Brickhouse as the beatdown is on, and yeah, I had trouble figuring who the heel was supposed to be also. The two-on-one and Akbar's attempted burning of the cigar I guess clarifies that, as Jeff Jarrett makes the save. Akbar and Brazelle negotiate for the upcoming Sportatorium card: Jarrett and Brickhouse will put up $5,000 apiece in a tag match if Akbar puts up $10,000 of his own, winner take all. Then a Craig Johnson insert to tell us that Brickhouse Brown will not make the card due to the death of his father. Jeff Jarrett is then facing somebody in Devastation Inc. and I guess Johnson had another assignment because Percy Pringle is back doing the announcing and is doing it as a babyface(!) again. Jarrett gets the pin but all of Devastation Inc. swarms him afterward. Chico Torres comes into the ring and RUBS HOT SAUCE into Jarrett's eyes. They sell this about as well as they can as a fan provides Billy Travis with water to soak a towel with, and I know the pain of getting habanero pepper residue in the vicinity of the eye, but...yeah. Kind of a weak-sauce angle (ducks tomatoes).
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The Tatum/Tessa feud has made its way to Memphis! Tony Anthony failed to collect the $10,000 bounty on Bill Dundee as a result of kicking the referee, but he gets another chance Monday night. A confrontation between Tessa and the Dirty White Girl is teased.
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Very quick video, with Jarrett wrestling the Dirty White Boy and teaming with Bigelow against Fuller & Lee, climaxing with a spanking of Sylvia.
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There are definitely worse options to deliver this particular message than Lawler.
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Lawler promises to expose the Snowman as a bum again, and for good measure says he'll knock what's left of Leon Spinks' teeth down his throat if he gets in his way. Spinks milked that "Man Who Beat Ali" rep for all it was worth. "You couldn't beat me if you had a knife and a gun, which you probably do." That gets the crowd going, and Snowman produces a hubcap to class this segment up some more. Snowman is a lurking threat outside the ring for Lawler's subsequent match, and eventually hops in and another shoot-looking brawl erupts. Eddie Marlin and security break it up and Lawler is escorted to the back. The action is still awesome but I liked this feud a lot more when Lawler and Snowman were two guys with a fundamental disagreement instead of Lawler being an arrogant heel and Snowman being whatever he's supposed to be now.
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Lawler has Downtown Bruno, Ronnie P. Gossett, *and* Reggie B. Fine in his corner. That's enough to distract Kerry long enough for Lawler to torch Snowman with a fireball and get the eventual 3-count. More redneck UWFI and they actually manage to work a freaking fireball spot into this seamlessly! Lawler's really tight cradle still gives off the shoot vibe.
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Pretty much the same ad as before.
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COME BACK HULK. Brother Love will be in the corner of the Kingdom of the Madness for upcoming house shows, to counteract Elizabeth.
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"These guys can notes higher than Ella Fitzgerald sitting on a tack!" The Freebirds blather about their tour of Europe and make threats towards the Southern Boys--then switch gears and call out both Doom and the Midnight Express. Cornette freaks out and tries to make nice until they leave, then gets all pouty about how he tried to be nice to them, but the Midnights can beat them anyway.
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THE SUPERHEROES ARE HERE! Seriously? Arn Anderson fails to defeat Rocky King.
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Oh, sweet Jesus, just the man to bring some youthful pep and workrate back to this promotion, Thunderbolt Patterson. At least there's some history between him and Ole. T-bolt cuts his standard "Ooh, I'm about to swear--no I'm not" promo and amusingly uses the same simile Kerry used in the previous segment about stink on...OOOOOH. 1990's Worst Angle continues. If this is the New Era beginning, then let's go back to the old one.
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"Percy Pringle...Chris is gonna be on you like stink on shit!" Cool opening promo aside, this is the least of the Kerry/Borne matches as most of the focus is on Chris and Percy, to the point where Kerry and Borne are actively fighting outside of camera range so we can see what the seconds are doing. Percy tries to handcuff Chris to the ropes and gets cuffed himself, and then Tony Borne--where'd HE come from??--gets knocked down somehow. DCOR and this peters out rather quickly.