PeteF3
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After the events of Monday night, Tessa and the Dirty White Girl will both be handcuffed to their respective turnbuckles and the winning team's valet can do whatever they want to the loser. Both valets basically promise to strip the other and this is possibly the sleaziest match stip of the pre-Monday Night War era. Lawler has illegally taken out two of Tony Anthony's partners with the piledriver. John Tatum laments the fact that his 86-year old mother can't eat because doctors say he'll be on the shelf for 6 months. Anthony laments his own situation until Eddie Gilbert comes out to set things right. It's Anthony & Gilbert vs. Lawler & Dundee Monday at the Coliseum. -
Anthony looks good, giving us a dropkick in addition to all of his other crisp offense. The DWBs continue beating down their opponents after the match until Jerry Lawler walks tall with a baseball bat. I liked Lawler's savate kick to set up the piledriver on Burton--don't think I've seen that out of him.
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Gilbert accuses Dave Brown and Jerry Lawler of having his $5,000. Mark Curtis makes an appearance, as a Gilbert fan pulled out of the crowd for a picture, only to get socked in the face as Gilbert accuses him of having the money as well. I suspect this isn't the last of Gilbert's paranoid Ricky Roma act.
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The Hart Foundation continue to express their plans to regain the Tag Titles and bring up that tag teams are supposed to be 2-on-2. Demolition comes out and Ax points out that the Hart Foundation are the only team to come with built-in excuses before losing a match. The Harts make an impromptu challenge, 3-on-2 for the titles, but make the mistake of turning their backs when they head to the ring, and pay for it.
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"HELL NO I'm not retiring." For a minute I was a Little Hulkster again. Yeah, I said it. This is not only Hogan's best babyface promo, it's probably his best acting job period.
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I guess this is as close as we'll get to seeing Lawler vs. Snowman in full. Another bit of Redneck UWFI but even more surprising coming from Jarrett and Parsons. It's good stuff but I can't stress enough how much more compelling Lawler/Snowman was--that wasn't just a shoot-style fight, it was a fight between two guys who plausibly hated each other's guts and were truly fighting for something. This is a shoot-style fight between two guys who were booked to have a shoot-style fight. Same finish as the initial Snowman matches as Parsons slugs the referee and the match gets thrown out. Parsons makes threats towards "Jessica" after the match. ROOTY-POOT~! is uttered. A Snowman interview is hyped, with him holding the Unified belt. Oh, NOW we're acknowledging the Memphis title changes?
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Sid's comments could actually be construed as a shot at Flair. Arn is fantastic, even by his standards. His talk of being up all night plotting and how the '90s Horsemen formed "by necessity" makes him come off as a Captain Ahab-level monomaniac in getting the title back on Flair.
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Fuchi and Kikuchi always have a great dynamic together and I really love how this is worked like a Big Man vs. Little Man match even though it's two juniors and Fuchi doesn't even do a whole lot of power spots. I get Loss' point about bombs that aren't--the holds are worked so long and intensely, especially the Boston crabs, that any kind of big move comes off as a "bomb," even though neither guy has a lot of those in their arsenal. Kikuchi gets to kick out of the backdrop suplex, so Fuchi has to resort to a German to put the fucker away.
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Curse that absence of Evansville footage. 2/3 falls, "just like the good old days."
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This is pretty much the interview that cemented the Demos heel turn, though there was never a pivotal fundamental moment of such. Crush's paint looks like the cheap designs Ax and Smash wore soon after their debut, though he has the interview style down pat.
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This was pretty meandering and Flair-vs.-Sting by numbers for about 3/4 of the way, with Sting doing way too much no-selling for my taste, especially for all of Flair's chops. Overbooking aside I got into the Dudes with Attitudes forming a human wall to stave off the Horsemen and the finish was pretty well put-together and Sting's victory is a genuinely cool moment. The victory speech definitely felt flat. I'd rather listen to it than the Warrior's talk of Normals but yeah, he gushed over Flair a little too much for what was supposed to be a hateful feud.
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Dead crowd until the end and there's a long stretch where they appear to be distracted by something. Never saw this as anything other than solid, though the crowd came alive when Teddy Long got trapped in the ring with Gibson.
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Really strong, well-laid out finish with a crowd that's really into it. Luger has shown no signs of slowing down from his hot '89 and, as it turns out, the sudden face turn hasn't hurt him yet.
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A top 3 U.S. MOTY, maybe #1. Not much else to add but it's incredible how much more over the Southern Boys were than the two former World Champions and national stars in the previous bout. A testament to great tag work and to the Midnights & Cornette as well. Some of the greatest southern tag near-falls you'll ever see mark the end of this one: both tag finishes AND a babyface switcheroo attempt before a well-timed Lane enzuigiri allows Eaton to eke out a victory.
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I know this match primarily for Jim Ross making one of the all-time great announcer saves, in regards to Race's crown gear, speculating that Harley must be a fan of the Sacramento Kings. Actually JR, I think he'd be a Royals fan. This is a pretty impressive bomb-throwing sprint albeit with a marked lack of heat. Race throws some wicked clotheslines in addition to his usual arsenal and surprises me by rolling through a cross body to get a clean pin.
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Great Austin promo, though not really one they really should have been running considering the TV situation as he regrets not breaking every bone in Toni's body and promises to put her and Chris in wheelchairs. Jeannie has some good lines and tells Craig Johnson to stop looking down her dress, but she sort of goes off the rails and starts rambling as this segment anticlimactically peters out.
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Jarrett and Travis are hyping an upcoming tag match against Devastation (is the "Inc." gone now?) when suddenly Iceman King Parsons crashes the area. Iceman is upset that Jarrett has a job with the USWA and he doesn't, and eventually security and John Brazelle escort him away from the ring area in a fairly intense scene. Later on Iceman, even though he was supposedly arrested for trespassing, crashes the area again after a Jarrett squash and another shoot-style fight takes place on the floor. Now Iceman is taken out in handcuffs as Jarrett threatens John Brazelle that if he doesn't get a match with Parsons, he quits. It's a re-do of the initial Lawler/Snowman angle but this doesn't really measure up. It's not a total failing because we're talking about the Angle of the Year, but the attempts at shoot/spontaneity fall pretty flat. The camera catches Parsons right as he makes his entrance and there are a lot of convenient reaction shots, though everybody plays their role well. Furthermore, while Snowman was only known to listeners of local black radio or readers of black newspaper coverage in Memphis, the Iceman is a longtime Sportatorium staple and the crowd is clearly excited and happy to see him back. The second segment comes off much better. We again get a convenient camera shot of the Iceman's entrance but the intensity is upped a bit with some very good use of selective bleeping. Still, Snowman's intentions were clear from the get-go ("The USWA is racist") while Iceman's issues with Jarrett seem more personal and I'm having some trouble grasping each guy's motivation. Hopefully some backstory is spelled out going forward. For a guy who was almost a clown act for most of his career, whether babyface or heel, Iceman does make for a good thug troublemaker.
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Tatum, for once, delivers an intense, heated promo. Tessa is like the women he used to pick up in bars: at 8 o'clock she looked good, at 10 o'clock she looked great, at midnight she was a goddess, and when he woke up at 10 the next day she was a dog! Great interview. A first-blood match for Friday's Sportatorium card is hyped. Dundee rebuts in a taped segment.
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Sting (in a "NO JUICE - JUST GENETICS" shirt) and Flair go back and forth on the mic as Gordon Solie vainly attempts to keep the peace. Flair is a supreme asshole here, calling the fans idiots and trying to bully Solie around. I approve. Ole comes out and he and Flair make as though they're about to put a beatdown on Sting and this segment awkwardly falls apart, as it appears someone has missed a cue. FINALLY El Gigante comes out and Ole shuts up. Sting gets some last words in and Flair goes into his psycho mode in response. Bad timing aside I liked this segment more than Loss. Ole stooging is fun because it's so rare and Flair really carried everything else.
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Solid tag match that ends with Lawler & Dundee coming in with a baseball bat and trash can respectively to put a beatdown on the DWBs. Anthony charges the interview set after the break and makes threats for Monday night towards the babyfaces. Anthony's delivery is there but he's still not as polished on the mic as he would become later. Eddie Gilbert is AGHAST at having to wake up early to come to the studio for his check only to find that he's not getting it. He delivers an ominous warning that if he doesn't get his money, someone's getting hurt Monday night or next Saturday morning. In lieu of a second fall we get another promo from Downtown Bruno while the Wild Things pose. This is actually one of the better Bruno promos I've heard but it's drowned out by the "Get bucked" chant. Bruno's "It's like mama said..." catchphrase is over enough that the crowd sings along with it.
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Cowabunga the Karate Turtle. Fabulous. I'd love to know who was doing the Splinter voice.
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Gilbert again daydreams as Bill Dundee gets attacked by the Dirty White Boys. As Tessa pleads with him to help, Gilbert throws her to the floor, which brings out Lawler who decks Gilbert and then makes the save. Dundee withdraws his offer to Gilbert and Lawler agrees to take his place. Another hot segment and I get that this was just a way to get Gilbert back into the territory, but dammit, I wanted to see that tag match. I think, as inevitable as it was, that the Gilbert turn could have waited for a week or two.
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A lot to digest here. Bill Dundee pins Tony Anthony in an MSC match but gets destroyed by Anthony, the Dirty White Girl, and John Tatum after the match. Kimberly lays in some pretty weak shots with a whip before getting run off to the back by Tessa in a catfight that isn't nearly as intense as the ones between Jeannie and Toni. Dundee is repeatedly spike piledriven in a beatdown that lasts longer than the announced time of the match. Dundee and Tessa are out for a promo and I'm not a big fan of Dundee strutting around like nothing's happened. That's the kind of shit Cena got criticized for on Monday. His promo is pretty great, as he announces he's paid $5,000 to make a Deal with the Devil: "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert is back in Memphis. Gilbert is the "best friend that money can buy" and touches on his past history with Tatum from the UWF. Tessa actually gets mic time, but DWB and Kimberly come out for an attack. Dundee and Tessa get abused while Eddie Gilbert stands there. He was paid to wrestle on Monday night, not help in the studio or even team with Dundee on television. He generously offers to stand in Dundee's corner, because that's free. Really great segment that gear-shifted multiple times in ways that only happen in Memphis. Intriguing tag match to come as Gilbert promised he wouldn't turn because of the payoff, and I actually believe him at least for this week.
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Lawler finally gets to the bottom of what the hell the crowd has been chanting all these weeks. I too thought it was "kick butt." Clips from the MSC--Lawler has declared that he's through with managers, but Downtown Bruno appointed himself to be in Lawler's corner that night. Lawler and Snowman work a fully pro-style match at least that we see. Snowman saves himself with the ropes on one pin attempt, but when Lawler does the same, Bruno shoves the foot off and Snowman retains the title. Lawler makes threats to both Snowman and Bruno, which draws Bruno out along with Jeff Gaylord and Scott Braddock, the Wild Things. Lawler is told to leave and casually walks away as Bruno makes threats towards Rex King & Joey Maggs and declares the Wild Things the "Tag Team of the '90s"--I'm sure. Lawler just as casually walks back to the set...with a baseball bat. The heels take off and Lawler finishes up. Fun segment. Lawler as a babyface once again is a breath of fresh air and even Bruno and Gaylord were pretty good for the time they were out there.
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Vince hilariously dumps on a fat woman in the crowd. "Think there's any relation?" once it cuts to Brother Love. Love declares that world peace is a HOAX and declares Volkoff to be a traitor. Duggan comes out and welcomes Nikolai to the United States in the SPIRIT OF GLASNOST. Lame as hell--but wow, Brother Love was legitimately fantastic here.