goodhelmet Posted June 11, 2005 Report Share Posted June 11, 2005 This is what we have so far... "Ladies and gentlemen, here they are, the team that has made more men run than milk of magnesia, Loverboy Dennis and Beautiful Bobby, the Midnight Express!" "I hear they call Dusty's sister 'Federal Express'. Because every time she goes on a date, she absolutely positively has to be there overnight." "Do you get up early on Saturday mornings and watch cartoons?" -- Dutch Mantel "No, I prefer Richard Simmons." -- Jim Cornette "The team that has crippled more people than arthritis and polio... Beautiful Bobby and Loverboy Dennis.... THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS!!!" Jim Cornette to Dusty Rhodes - "That's a nice hat you've got there Mr. Dream. Did you get a freel bowl of soup with it ?" "Konnan couldn't draw money if you dipped him in glue and dragged him through Fort Knox." "Rick Steiner is so stupid, it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes." "This kid (Scott Putski) is so dumb, he stayed up all night studying for a urine test." "Norman is so stupid, mind readers charge him half price." "Tony Schiavone! I'm glad to see you back, especially after seeing your front." "You should have the Rock & Roll Express arrested! Last week, they came out here and killed your ratings." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest teke184 Posted June 11, 2005 Report Share Posted June 11, 2005 "He?s probably a latent flaming homosexual with the cigars he likes to smoke and the Harleys he likes to ride and the fact that he spends entirely WAY too much time around Kevin Nash. FUCK YOU, Bischoff, you?re a fuckin? prick!? - Cornette holding back on his feelings about Eric Bischoff "Well, I?m not exactly up on Louisiana history and, once again, we?d been doing this shit in Memphis ever since I?d been watching. JESUS CHRIST, riot, riot, riot, riot, riot.? - Jim Cornette on the effects of white-on-black violence in Mid-South "One of them chucks a full, unopened beer can at Dennis, who catches it, barred his arm, and puts his foot on the guy?s head. It was particularly effective against this individual but his twelve friends didn?t fuckin? like it at all. About the time I was saying to myself ?All I?ve got is a FUCKING TENNIS RACKET? I?m gonna die with this tennis racket in my hand" - On an average night after a show in Mid-South. I was actually a calm, reasonable, rational person before I started working in Louisiana. Ted Dibiase said he worked there for a year once and his hair started falling out.? - Cornette on what to blame for his abrasive personality "She can?t even act like she?s goddamn breathing!" - Cornette on Sable "I was in jail one time in Baton Rouge and I enjoyed it more than living in Connecticut." - Cornette on living in the Northeast "You have five moves. If you count pushing your hair back a move, then you?ve got six." - Cornette teaching Glen Jacobs (Kane) how to be Diesel II Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sek69 Posted June 12, 2005 Report Share Posted June 12, 2005 I don't remember the exact quote, but Cornette commandeered the play by play as usual during a MX squash on Saturday Night back when they were taping at the old Techwood Drive studios. Bobby Eaton went to the top rope to do a move and reached up and grabbed hold of one of one of the rafters to balance himself, and without even missing a beat, Cornette went into a rant-within-his-usual-rant on how he asked TBS to raise the roof of the studio for MX matches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JHawk Posted June 12, 2005 Report Share Posted June 12, 2005 Cornette used this as part of a rant in both World Class (getting ready for a match with Sunshine) and JCP (getting ready for a feud with Misty Blue): "I've been training hard. I've done pushups, I've done pullups, I've done situps, I've done chinups, I threw up twice but I'm OK now..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Posted June 12, 2005 Report Share Posted June 12, 2005 "I can beat anyone, either male, female, animal, vegitable, or mineral." -- Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette: "Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought Pee Wee Herman everything he knows, Jim Cornette!" Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane: "Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!" -- "The Judge wont allow Pee Wee to defend himself and Pee Wee knows for sure that he can get himself off." -- Jim Cornette -- "He's so big he makes a beeping noise when he walks backwords." -- "Eventually, even a blind squirell will find an acorn." -- "Thats where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off." -- Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode's birthmark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodhelmet Posted June 13, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2005 A guy broke into Baby Doll's apartment last week. She yelled "RAPE!" He yelled, "NO!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodhelmet Posted June 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2005 Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you the only pair that can beat a full house... Beautiful Bobby and Sweet Stan, the Midnight Express!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cam Chaos Posted June 17, 2005 Report Share Posted June 17, 2005 Jim Cornette to Dusty Rhodes - "That's a nice hat you've got there Mr. Dream. Did you get a freel bowl of soup with it ?" Isn't that in Caddyshack? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strummer Posted June 17, 2005 Report Share Posted June 17, 2005 Jim Cornette to Dusty Rhodes - "That's a nice hat you've got there Mr. Dream. Did you get a freel bowl of soup with it ?" Isn't that in Caddyshack? yes it is. I was thinking the same thing. Rodney Dangerfield says it to Ted Knight at the very beginning of the movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodhelmet Posted June 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2005 Hey, no one said Cornette was 100% original Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WidowsPeak Posted June 19, 2005 Report Share Posted June 19, 2005 "If Melina's skirt was any shorter it would make a good necklace." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loss Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 "I have a programming note before I get going. World Championship Wrestling will not be shown tomorrow night here on the Superstation, so that TBS may bring you a replay of the Hawks/Celtics game, which will be broadcast in black and white with no sound." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loss Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 Tony Schiavone: "Where's Stan Lane?" Jim Cornette: "The Home Of Unwed Mothers is about to go out of business, so Sweet Stan is there providing them with more unwed mothers." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loss Posted June 26, 2005 Report Share Posted June 26, 2005 "Hulk Hogan, you may be a household name, but so is garbage, and it stinks when it gets old too." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest brian Posted July 10, 2005 Report Share Posted July 10, 2005 "The man that causes more riots than Guns and Roses" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodhelmet Posted July 10, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2005 Probably one of Cornette's more racist quotes... in fact I may transcribe all of Corentte's racist comments and list those. When he was going against Rocky King and other black wrestlers, Cornette always used race as a basis for his putdowns... " If Rocky King keeps sticking his nose in our business, we're going to read him Roots backwards so it has a happy ending" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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