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WWE Smackdown spoilers from Baltimore




by Clancy Gilpatrick


WWE Smackdown


Baltimore, MD


Show started with the Wrestlemania closing video. Big pops for Austin and Taker. HYOOOGE pops for BIG DAVE and Cena. When the showed the highlights of the JBL/Cena the crowd alternated booing and cheering every time they switched between shots of the two.


Dark Match


Trevor Rhodes/Garrison Cade Vs FBI


Garrison has a great body, Rhodes does not. Rhodes looks very much like a cross between Dick Murdoch and Dusty. These guys cowboy gimmick is way lame. Crowd was laughing at them in their outfits when they came out. FBI got a big pop. Decent little match that saw the FBI win with TRICKERY! and then Vito got the roll up and used the tights on Rhodes. We saw Rhodes' ass and that, that's not cool.


Josh and Romero come out. Matthews is announced as "The WWE's youngest announcer". He also happens to be the only guy besides Tazz and JR that knows the names of any wrestling maneuvers.


MNM Vs Doring/Roadkill


Melina was ridiculoid hot tonight. Big surprise. Mild ECW chant for their opponents but the crowd did not get behind the babyfaces at all. They hit the Hart Attack on Nitro about 30 seconds into the match to zero pop. Nitro took the bareback from Doring in a horrible manner so that might get edited off. Roadkill hit a powerslam on Matthews and Doring went for the top rope legdrop but missed. Nitro rolled into the ring while the ref was getting Roadkill out of the ring and MNM hit the Snapshot for the win.


Scotty 2 Hotty Vs Kazarian


Scotty must be thinking that any of these matches could be his last. A mild Frankie chant started but was quickly drowned out by Scotty chants. Frankie worked the arm for a long time. Kazarian looked very good here and Scotty did a good job as well. Kazarian won with the Wave of the Future and we didn't have to see the worm. Yaaay!! Kazarian gave his "Future Looks Good" catchphrase after the match.



BWO Vs Nick Berk/Jason Static/ Scott ?


Before match Big Stevie called out Mexicool. Said they would take care of them at the Bash. Meanie got ZERO crowd reaction. JBL really made him two weeks ago, huh. Finish saw Nova hit the big boot and leg drop on Berk and then Stevie Stevie kicked Static out of the ring. Meanie hit the Meaniesault on Berk for the pin. Decent match.


A promo with Christian and TCS aired and the girls went banana for him. Mixed cheers and boos from the dudes. Christian said he would beat Booker T at the Bash.


Christian Vs Funaki


Fun little match that saw both guys work well. Loud pop for Christian when he came out. "Lets Go Christian" chant early. Christian got the win with the Unprettier.




Smackdown started with an announcement paid for by JBL telling us that later in the show we would be celebrating with the great American JBL as he celebrates his victory at this Sunday's Great American Bash. Very Funny.


Rey Vs Super Crazy


Mexicool was out in full force. This was a great match that went between 15 and 20 minutes. These guys did some great lucha early and Super Crazy looked the best he has looked yet. Eddy came out a few minutes in to do commentary. Crowd booed heartily. Around this time Crazy murdered Rey with a seated dropkick. There was an old man in the 2nd row who kept taunting Mexicool and Eddy with a rubber chicken. That was great. Crazy missed a 180 top rope moonsault. He recovered and hit his 2nd rope slingshot quebrada for a two count. Rey came back and hit a rana that set Crazy up for the 619. At that moment Eddy ran in and broke Psicosis' rake over Rey's back and the ref called for the DQ. Rey sold the rake shot for a long time and had to be helped to the back.


The first of four JBL ads aired comparing him to other Great Americans. This one compared him to George Washington. The other ones compared him to Neil Armstrong, Martin Luther King, and Ronald Reagan. These were actually quite funny.


Eddy was seen backstage leaving and Teddy caught up with him. Eddy said he was leaving but Teddy told he had a match later and his opponent was a secret. Eddy was not happy.


Christian was interviewed by Matthews and he asked him if he was worried that he had made Booker angry for the match on Sunday and if that was such a good idea. Christian called him Ryan Seacrest and cut a promo on Booker. He ended the promo by telling Matthews "Seacrest Out" and then mushed him in the face.


Animal was backstage putting his paint on when Heidenreich came up told him he wanted to read him a poem. When he was finished Animal said Big Bad John was more like Hawk then he realized. Whatever


Animal/Heidenreich Vs Julio Dinero/Nick Berk


Animal press slammed Berk as Heidenreich knocked Dinero outside. He then put Berk on his shoulders and Heidenreich went up top and hit the Doomsday Device. Praise be to JBL that Berk survived and Animal pinned him. This could not have gone more than 20 seconds and that, that is cool.


Eddy Vs ?


Eddy was chilling waiting for his opponent when CHRIS BENOIT'S music hit and the crowd went apeshit. Eddy tried to leave without fighting but Benoit got on the mic and asked Eddy what was wrong with him. Why was he turning his back on all the people who cared about him? Eddy listened for a second and then sucker punched Benoit. These two men then proceeded to have the best Smackdown match of the year. This match blew away the ECW match and both guys worked their asses off. This was stiff as hell and Benoit split his eye open doing the headbutts. Guys were going for submissions and fighting out of everything. Benoit missed the diving headbutt and did the greatest sell ever. The finish saw Benoit hit the headbutt on Eddy's shoulder and then go for the Crossface. Eddy made the rope and then rolled out of the ring and walked out. The ref counted him out for the finish. Crowd did not shit on the finish but did boo Eddy for being cowardly. As Eddy was walking out Rey jumped him from behind and beat on him before security separated them. Match went close to 20 minutes and was ***3/4 and would have been **** with a better finish.

After the match Benoit seemed to have a HOLE in the back of his neck that looked like he had cyst cut out or something. It was gross.


Candace Michelle came out and said something about the troops she did a version of Melina's entrance into the ring. You whore! After about a minute of mindless banter where Candace said she would be the ref for the Melina/Torrie match MELINA came out. She called Torrie Wilson a hag and told Candace her 15 minutes were up. I hope Candace knows that Melina isn't bullshitting about that one. Melina said she would give her a preview of Sunday's match and then stripped Candace to her bra and panties. Torrie made the save and ran Melina off. This was what it was and save by Melina who is by far the best Diva on either show right now, looks not even being considered.


Booker T Vs Simon Dean


Simon insulted Sharmell and got his ass kicked very quickly for it. Booker was very over with the fans.


Ring crew came out to set up for JBL's Great American speech. They decked out the ring with a bunch of red, white & blue streamers and such. Orlando came out and gave a speech. He then introduced JBL. About 35 million pounds of confetti was shot into the air and JBL came out to the ring dressed like a roided up Uncle Sam. Think of Apollo Creed's get up in Rocky IV but on a big goofy white guy. He was waving a small American flag. JBL cut a borderline racist promo that compared himself to the United States. He said the United States had to take over other countries because they couldn't take care if themselves. He compared us fans to those countries. It was a well delivered promo but some of the content was very tasteless. He compared himself to General Patton and Norman Schwarzkopf. He guaranteed he would win on Sunday and revealed next month's Smackdown Magazine announcing him as the new champ. This was obviously to parody the Truman-Dewey deal from the 50s. Batista came out to a ginormous pop. The pop was deafening. He came out and called JBL a bully and said that on Sunday he would take care of him again. He then told JBL that there was no way he would lose to a guy dresses in such ridiculous outfit. That was funny. He made fun of JBL some more and told him in two seconds I am going to kick your ass. Orlando tried to jump him and got punched JBL jumped Batista but he was punched as well and then rolled out of the ring and left Orlando to get spinebusterd. The in a scene that had to have been suggested by HHH. Batista then put on JBL's Uncle Sam outfit and paraded around the ring. That's right, the same outfit he was clowning JBL for wearing. Batista even put on the big stupid Uncle Sam hat and hit all four corners for a pose. Crowd cheered madly anyway.


Special Bonus Match

HHH/Eddy Guerrero/JBL Vs Batista/Rey Misterio/Undertaker


HHH got the second biggest babyface pop of the night for his entrance. Eddy was booed unmercifully all match. When the faces came out, Batista came out first and then Rey. Taker's music hit and the crowd went HOSS times ten. The pop was deafening. The guys wrestled a super fun match with a lot of comedy. The first 5 minutes was all stalling. The heels all made fun of Rey, as he started for the faces. Guys didn?t really doing anything awesome wrestling wise but as far as a performance, it was top notch. Lots of playing to the crowd. Rey hit HHH with a dropkick and HHH did a full minute pause before the Flair Flop. After a while, JBL and Eddy bailed and left HHH alone in the ring with all three faces. Rey hit the 619. Batista the Spine Buster and Taker finally hit the Tombstone and pinned HHH and crowd went home very, very happy.


Overall a really fun show with some tremendous wrestling in the opener and the Eddy/Benoit match. There were tons of Cena signs even though he is no longer on Smackdown and tons of Batista signs as well. I really hope that WWE can keep the momentum going with these two because right now those two and Brock are the best bets to build upon for the future.

The JBL "Great American" ad, Eddy/Benoit getting 20 minutes, and Rey/Crazy getting 15-20 minutes is enough for me to check out this show. Benoit/Guerrero is a crap shoot anymore, but you never know when they might surprise you.

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I think moving Cena off Smackdown is going to end up being another case of WWE botching a sure thing. His hip-hop gimmick seems so out of place on RAW and you know he's going to be cannon fodder once HHH comes back from his summer vacation.


To paraphrase Brando: Cena coulda been somebody, but on RAW he'll end up just a bum.

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A promo with Christian and TCS aired and the girls went banana for him. Mixed cheers and boos from the dudes. Christian said he would beat Booker T at the Bash.


This may be really obvious but i can't for the life of me work out who TCS refers to. Help? :(
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Did anyone see tonight's SD!?


I know most people are going to talk about Eddie-Benoit but I want to know how Crazy-Rey turned out. Crazy never really impressed me. Some of his ECW stuff was enjoyable and his indy stuff that I have seen is forgettable. However,I haven't really seen any of his stuff in Mexico so I was curious how he has adjusted to the WWF machine.

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Did anyone see tonight's SD!?


I know most people are going to talk about Eddie-Benoit but I want to know how Crazy-Rey turned out. Crazy never really impressed me. Some of his ECW stuff was enjoyable and his indy stuff that I have seen is forgettable. However,I haven't really seen any of his stuff in Mexico so I was curious how he has adjusted to the WWF machine.

I watched part of it tired out of my mind and with a worse headache than usual




Rey vs Crazy was fun from what I saw. I liked how Rey got Crazy in the 619 posistion. Eddie was on commentary and a lot of the focus of the announcers was the chatter between them.


Benoit vs Eddie was great and their best WWE match yet. "I love you like a brother" They apparantly cut away before Benoit's back of his neck started bleeding. THere's something wrong there as he had it taped up before the match even started.

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Rey/Crazy was really good, but it was a heavyweight style wrestled between two guys whose strengths could have been played up elsewhere. They did include some highspots -- like Crazy's beautiful moonsault -- but it was mostly working holds and building sympathy for Rey. I liked the match, but "solid" is the best way to describe it. *** or so from my end. Of course, the first five minutes had me doing other things while it was on, so I'm not sure what they did then.


Benoit/Guerrero was the best Benoit/Guerrero match in quite some time, but I still felt like it was all Eddy when I was watching it. Benoit chops, attempts the crossface and German suplexes way too much and does other stuff way too little, but Eddy controlled most of this match and worked some really cool holds to really awesome heat. Benoit getting punched in the mouth at the onset for saying "I love you like a brother" was super awesome, and I liked that it created an opening that Eddy actually kept for a long time instead of keeping the match going more back and forth. Guerrero looked like a world beater here, but the finish sucked.

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