Dav'oh

Cent One: Cody was always an "outsider" in the Bucks/Omega/Cole/Page etc clique. He rode their coattails, is all. More like a distant cousin than a brother. Not surprised there's no love lost there. Cent Two: This all presupposes the WWE Universe won't shit on him. He was a tepid lower-to-mid carder in his previous run, he's engendered indifference at best and hostility at worst since then, and he deserted the WWE Family for the pissants. I'm sure he wants to come back as the Prodigal Son who's returned to the fold, but I can't imagine him being received that way. Of course, he could be being sent there as a "mole"...

The Australian High Court (Australia's, erm, highest court) ruled just this week on the status of independent contractors. "The High Court’s ruling on the status of a pair of truck drivers who were attached to the same company for 40 years has the potential to shift power back to organisations in the battle over how participants in the gig economy should be protected by the law...The decision, experts say, gives credence to claims by gig platforms like Uber and Deliveroo that their workers are not employees... On Wednesday, Australia’s High Court ruled that two truck drivers who worked for a lighting company, which required the workers to emblazon its logo on their vehicles and work clothes, were not employees... In taking this stance, the ruling returns power to businesses following several Federal Court decisions, along with decisions from the Fair Work Commission (FWC), that have backed the rights of workers." More fool me for expecting better from America's 51st state.

NXT audience chanting "WALTER" as the Wehrmacht come down to the ring was inevitable. Wonder how long they'll keep the asinine name-change? Whoops. Wrong thread....

I hope his veneration and imitation of Billington and Redacted doesn't extend to their treatment of women...

Edge.

Brock's Rumble odds have halved and he's now the clear bookies' favourite.

Step on my neck Hit me in the shin with a towbar, DraftKings lady.

Um, if she's working now, she's working through the pandemic...

Ronda not selling anything and Lita missing her timing on everything.

Summer Rae. Without "respectfully".

This is just a skinflick. It has zero redeeming wrestling qualities.

I like how they talk up Lashley's amateur cred, but studiously avoid mentioning or showing that he wrestled at 177lbs... (Also, as fellow pedants will have noted, it's the Almighty, or the All-Mighty. Not the All Mighty. )

Just read that the Lady Rumble has had a full rehearsal and a second run-through. I don’t think that’s a compliment to the participants.

The physiological symptoms of fear and of laughter are identical - the baring of the teeth, shortness of breath, dilated pupils, increased heart rate and blood pressure, and a laugh is the quickest way the human body has of releasing tension. "All laughter is fear" is something of an over-simplification, but whenever I see a fighter, whether MMA, boxing or one of ours (I'm looking right at you, Daniel Bryan) laughing / baring his teeth before a fight, I think "tell me you're scared without telling me you're scared".

Facial Recognition is one of the most important parts of the human brain, evolution-wise. It has its own zipcode and uses proportionally more energy than its size. We need to know who will slit our throats with flint, and who will share their sabre-tooth jaguar skins with us for warmth. So when our brains see Doink, we see two forward facing eyes above a nose above a mouth with two ears on the side and hair on the top. That's a human, QED. But they're not human eyes, it's not a human nose, the smile is like no human's - our brains don't know where to put them. Friend or foe? It's this dissonance which causes our apprehension. It's not us, it's our wiring. As for Danhausen, I think those of us of a certain vintage just shrug our shoulders and think, "yeah, well, another Spellbinder, another Vampiro, another Papa Shango. Another Mankind even, with the evil and the nice. Show me what you can do in the ring and then we'll talk." I don't have the time to check out every Indy wrestler with a buzz, so what he does in AEW will largely define him for me. I'm pushing 50. Nearly half-way there. It's hard to get excited about much that's above the waist, and certainly not with the enthusiasm of my yoof. Good luck to the kid, I hope he's got something I haven't seen before.

Australia's leading online bookie will give you 301/1* for an Arquette victory, but I prefer VEER~! at 201/1. Actually, I'll put a whole, entire, shiny new dollar on Bron Brekker at 34/1. There was a recent, unrelated, Vince "why wait?" story, so I can see Vince thinking, "Well, if we're going to push him in July (or whenever), why not push him in January?". Plus it addresses the "WWE can't make new stars" truism with a guy who weighs more than Jungle Jack and Darby, combined. He's also 7/1 to make the Final Four. Thrillseekers might fancy a bet on Jay White at 126/1 or Bray Wyatt at 23/1, while Johnny Gargano is good value at 126/1. If Vince is really desperate for mainstream exposure - and when isn't he? - Johnny Knoxville at 151/1 might be the way to go. And a dollar on Doudrop at 51/1 in the Lady Rumble. *For the uninitiated and/or clean-living souls : Odds in most of the world are written as, for example, 7/1, meaning you get $7 for every $1 invested. I do find the American system confusing.

Did you know... One of the world's most-prolific serial killers was a pro-wrestler? A luchadora, in fact. "Professional Mexican wrestler Juana Barraza was arrested for the murder of an 82-year-old woman on January 25, 2006. She was then linked to as many as 40 murders of elderly women in Mexico City, making her one of the world's worst serial killers. The arrest came after Barraza was caught fleeing the home of her latest victim. Up until that point, police had believed the serial killer was a transvestite dressing up as a woman to trick the targets. Barraza, who wrestled under the name The Lady of Silence, is now serving a 759-year sentence." I gotta say, I'm almost proud of her. In that, it's good to see pro-wrestling represented...

Apropos of nothing, the Rock is now working with Dana and the UFC. "Male and female fighters and their corner teams will wear Project Rock footwear for fight-week promotional events, workouts, weigh-ins and for their walks to the cage on fight night itself." Seems like Dwayne is in bed with everyone but Vince...

Yeah, this is my introduction to GCW and most of its roster. I'm really liking the innovations and shithead-ery of Blake Christian.

WWE filed for an Express Abandonment of its application for the Gunther Stark trademark on Jan 19.

Adam Cole got Bobby Eaton's "Guide to Tanning and Bodybuilding" for Xmas.

Or Siegfried as his manager and Shtarker as his goon...

Andre the Giant vs the Iron Sheik (07/09/1984) No-one really knows why Sheiky-baby was on Andre's Shitlist, but it led to his murder on this September 1984 Nassau Colosseum evening. This was the Bloated, Beloved, probably Boozed Andre, breaking down before our eyes and heading towards the 1987 back surgery that required veterinarians to calculate the amount of anaesthesia needed for a 7', 500lb human being. And unlike the monsters and ogres of legend, he was a Beautiful Giant. Smiling Andre, Laughing Andre, Throwing Money To The Crowd Andre - Gentle Andre. No-one really knows why Sheiky-baby died that night, but clearly he had summoned Andre the Grotesque and all his joyful malevolence. This is Andre the Sadist, the Ugly, the Bully. To wit: Andre the Beloved does not even acknowledge the crowd, who really do belove him, during introductions. He stands there, grotesque - and make no mistake, Andre is truly hideous. With a pituitarily disfigured face no mother could love and his knees near buckling, he makes no attempt to mask his ugliness. Sheik, for his part, looks in great shape, and Kimchee, for his part, is the special guest referee. (Andre's trunks are huge, for those into that sort of thing.) It's not that Andre doesn't sell Sheik's initial attack; he doesn't even register it. Khosrow, of course, must know full well that you go squish now, and can only rely on the benevolence of His Malevolency to stay alive. Andre takes centre ring, where he will remain. The bell rings and Sheiky bails, hoping the governor will phone in with a last-minute reprieve. But to the gallows he must, eventually, walk. They lock-up, Collar-and-Elbow no.1 in a series of twelve. Andre picks him straight up and bodyslams him on one of those eighties WWF rings brought to you by GraniteWorld, then stands on Sheik's spine while he's down, as you do. They reset, and into the fray once more for Sheiky. *Please note, this "match" is just reset after reset and *please note that the Iron Sheik is a fucking trooper. He knows he's got fifteen minutes of Andre the Bastard to endure. Andre wrestles Sheik down. #3. Andre grabs an arm and hiptosses his victim, much like an orca tossing a baby fur seal. My carpet and underlay have more spring than this ring. My carpet and underlay are smarter than some of the crowd, who are trying to get a U.S.A chant up and running. v.4 - Andre ducks the tie-up and hoists Sheik up in a bear-hug, unmoving, before dumping him, but Khosrow, knowing he's fucked anyway, gets a shot in. The World Health Organisation do not recommend this procedure. Number Five sees a hip-throw and Andre goes to the mat for an armbar. Sheik, not having gotten the memo yet, tries another strike, but Andre gets up, pronto, and says, "Le Fuck No, Mon Ami", then waffles him. Yay, though the Sheik walks in the Valley of Death, he fears not no.6, in which Andre the Tormentor does a legsweep then grabs the first neck he can see (spoiler: it's the Sheik's), and the attached arm and rolls over, taking the Sheik with him. Show-Off Andre, Humiliation Andre, manhandling an Olympic-calibre "real" wrestler and bodyguard to the Shah, on the mat. Lucky Sevens? Nah...Andre is offering nothing but resets by standing centre-ring and waiting for Sheik to come to him, as he must. This time Khosrow, who was 42 and survived by a wife and small children, endures a front-facelock and a single-underhook suplex. Andre gets to his feet and drops a knee on the spine, just because. The Iron Sheik bails again, and Andre just stands centre-ring, a monster in appearance and intent. No.8 = Front-Facelock. The ninth reset of the match and Andre grabs a leg, stands on the Sheik and gives him a groinbreaker. Andre the Merciless awaits centre ring again and the Iron Sheik is selling like a babyface, and his courage in crawling, fighting to his feet to try and lock-up again is Steamboat-esque. Andre, mais oui, cuts him off at the pass. Sheik limps so gingerly and so fucking gamely into the tenth sequence. Andre again pre-empts a lock-up with a hand around Khosrow's throat and a knife-edge whoooo! (hold the whoooo!). Andre waits, centre-ring, for #eleven while the Iron Sheik channels Ricky Morton and, on all fours, takes swings at Andre's shins. #eleven has Sheik suffer a side-headlock judo throw into neck crank, with all of Andre the Prick's weight on the Iron Sheik's non-ferrous lungs. Andre's just running through stuff he knows. Not spots, just stuff. And he's brutalising, torturing him but protecting him, at once. Takes centre-ring. The Sheik is a fucking manly man's man here as Andre chops him down, then deadlifts him by the front of his pants in a near Front Admiral, whips him to the ropes and hits the Big Boot. Butt Splash x 2, but Kimchee won't make the count (Andre's only cover of the entire massacre). And so Andre bodyslams Kimchee on the Iron Sheik's nose. Andre the Satisfied lets Sheik roll out of the ring, unhindered. Right on his fucking nose.

Step on anyone's neck but mine, Charlotte. Repectfully.

Sami Zayn teasing Evel-Kneivelling over the ring in a shopping trolley? Priceless. Make this man President of Everything.