PeteF3
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Sid is doggedly still sporting the tux. Arn talks up the Road Warriors but also points out that they're still human. Flair says he'll be in the front row to see it.
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Of COURSE the first thing you talk up about Stan Hansen is his fucking football background at West Texas State. Ross points out that Hansen has been exiled from wrestling in the U.S. Hansen declares he's been wrestling in "the Third World with the Peace Corps people" (!) Hansen rants about his suspension being up with tobacco dripping all over his mouth. Stan is pretty much a cartoon character already.
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Weird music plays and we get shots of Big Van Vader's smoking-helmet entrance, but nothing more.
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Rick Steiner and the Samoan Savage recreate the opening to 2001: A Space Odyssey. To shill a wrestling hotline. Yes.
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Lawler explains what it means to "delegate authority," and instead of taking out Dundee himself and collecting a John Tatum bounty, he's bringing in...THE INHUMAN. Lawler is already teasing a babyface turn for this guy.
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Loud and noticeably mixed reaction for Lawler's entrance. Lawler poo-poohs Snowman's beatdown of him during the match as well as his choice of attire. We get the Magic 101 deejay and his masked bodyguard that we saw earlier again. Then we get some not particularly attractive ladies parading around ringside and this is getting bizarre. "Bundy the Gorilla" is also there and I'm smelling an angle, if Bill Watts hasn't poisoned my brain. Lawler and Snowman then start trading trash talk, and Snowman wearing what is presumably a competing radio station shirt is a really nice touch. Lawler delivers a much more traditional pro wrestling-style promo until Snowman dares him to enter the ring, bringing out Eddie Marlin, who shuts down the idea of having a match on television. For Lawler's match with Freezer Thompson, Downtown Bruno and somebody are shoehorned into things taking notes as Lawler continues to dare Snowman to enter the ring. Lawler still works heel, getting Calhoun to intervene against Snowman so he can drop an elbow into Freezer's groin. Sort of more of the same here with some really weird diversions. A guest referee for Monday night is hyped but his identity is never disclosed that we see. -
Another fascinating addition to 1990's most fascinating angle. This is possibly the shootiest-looking match in history to not take place in a shoot promotion in Japan. Lots of wild, swinging haymakers, clinching, shoot takedowns, and going for the eyes. In some ways it almost comes off as inherently kayfabe-breaking because it legitimately feels way more out of control than a Moondogs match with a dozen foreign objects and tables getting involved. Snowman decks Jerry Calhoun in short order for the DQ and now I'm really anxious to see more from this. About as perfect of an appetizer-type match as you'll find. Kudos to Lawler and the promotion for giving us some of the most out-of-the-box booking you'll ever see in wrestling.
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Warrior will take Rude deeper into parts unknown than any other living thing. This may be the first step taken in attempting to humanize the Warrior a bit--the promo itself is just as blithering as ever but he's now wearing half of his normal facepaint and the other half is just a Warrior sign painted on the cheek. I think this is the "carnival facepaint" look that I believe was discussed on the 1990 preview podcast.
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Improve YOUR engine's performance with Arrogance!
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Bobby insists that Rude now be introduced as "The next WWF Champion," and Brother Love obliges. The serious-ing of Rude continues as it's declared that there will be no more Rude Awakenings until Rude has the title. This program is still waiting for something out of Rude besides promos, regardless of how good they are. This is another good one, but it isn't exceptional.
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From El Dandy, Angel Azteca, Lawler, and Dundee...to this. Yay. Zhukov regales us with the Soviet anthem, then Volkoff declares he's a better singer and aims to prove it...by singing The Star-Spangled Banner. That certainly gets the crowd going but it's a pretty Frank Drebin-level rendition that's mercifully cut short by Boris (just imagine that being done today--it might get a respected road agent shitcanned or something). Boris thoroughly beats Volkoff down outside the ring and then inside the ring with his boot, which draws the DQ. Volkoff gets up and runs after him. So that's the big Nikolai babyface turn. They really go all-out with this in the coming months (it was apparently something Nikolai really wanted to do after the dissolution of the USSR had begun) but this was pretty underwhelming even by the low standards set by the Bolsheviks. Zhukov's work actually was fairly heated, but the junior half of a JTTS team putting a rather dominant beatdown on his partner doesn't seem like an effective method of launching a new babyface push.
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Darn--if we can find that Pringle heel turn it's a must for the errata set, because I was digging the build to it. LOVE Borne's little mini-promo to the camera as he takes in the theatrics involving Kerry and Percy. Pringle is mic'd up for God knows what reason. Pringle's wailing, much like Brother Love, just skirts the line on the side of "good annoying" and not "mute/change the channel annoying." "SAVE ME, MATT--MY FAMILY DON'T CARE ABOUT ME NO MORE" gets a laugh out of me. Sort of a drawn-out finish with Pringle trying to lower a chain into the ring, but Kerry gets it and levels Borne with it for the victory. As Pringle is being lowered into the ring and crying and begging everybody in sight for help, he tosses a loaded sock to Borne who goes nuts on Kerry with it, then beats up a security guard and then Tony Falk to boot. Kevin finally breaks into the cage for the rescue. The brawling felt really heated and legit but Kerry was just SO limited by this point and it's really showing, though he's still better in this setting than he'd be in the WWF. Really good post-match though that keeps Borne looking strong.
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Lawler goes for the insta-cheap heat by insulting the Rangers and Cowboys, two teams that had much to feel insulted about at this time. Fun dynamic here with heel Lawler vs. babyface Dundee though I'm not overly crazy about a World title match taking a backdrop to the Tessa angle. That part is well-done, however, with Tatum attempting to kidnap Tessa after his pleas to change go unheeded, with Lawler playing the part of counselor in the middle of the match. The distraction enables Lawler to score a cheap win and the fight over Tessa continues afterward with a really fun Dundee/Tatum brawl that turns into a Lawler/Tatum beatdown. Jarrett and Adams make the save and the fight continues with the babyfaces eventually running the heels off. Fun little match but a much better post-match angle.
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I'll qualify this by stating that I'm not sure I'd vote this ahead of Liger/Sano (yep, I'm still on that one). On everything else...agreed. It's easily a GOAT candidate as far as mat-based matches go, as not only does everything look painful and torturous but everything moves organically. The holds just flow into each other but it looks like shoot counterwrestling as opposed to contrived "headlock->headscissors->cradle->backslide" rote sequences. There are like two resets in the entire match--everything else is one hold progressing into another punctuated by a ropes-running/highspot or two. Then after we're tied up at 1 fall apiece the big bombs start coming as both men sell increasing desperation. The match never really stops moving but there is just enough to sell how huge the top-rope and dive moves are, especially loved Dandy selling the pain of hitting the diving headbutt and his fantastic bump into the front row on Azteca's tope. A rash of near-falls includes the single best near-fall of the set--they TOTALLY had me taken in when Azteca countered the back suplex with a victory roll. Instead it's merely the last bullet in Azteca's chamber as the Dandina puts him away right afterward. Azteca blows off the post-match handshake and again issues a hair vs. mask challenge. I approve!
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Dittos to a degree, but I think I liked this more than Loss or Childs. In addition to the mariachi music I also enjoyed the voiceover describing the match and finish as though it were Phil Mickelson trying to select between a 5 and 7 iron. All of Aguayo's offense looks pretty awesome and Hamada takes a beating, but his victory came a little too easily for my liking. The Brazos take exception to Aguayo's post-match handshake and turn on him, and this is the most heated part of the segment but also the part I got into the least.
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Weird opening with Lawler in a mask, because I guess all wrestlers have to be in masks and capes. Kind of an odd blend of honesty about the size of the USWA yet not breaking kayfabe, while also pushing Lawler as still being a babyface. Lawler acknowledges the eagerness of fans to be insulted by him. Much better than the Connie Chung piece and much more honest about things like lack of health insurance or a pension, with Lawler coming off pretty well.
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Not knowing about the '89 Dome show result (or this one for that matter) I definitely got into the story of Hash smacking Choshu in the mouth figuratively as well as literally. Choshu takes over with his usual stuff but it all looks good and he throws in a top-rope kneedrop that comes off as a desperation move. Hash is out on his feet with lariats when he busts out a spinning heel kick to get the big upset victory.
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Atlas with words for Chief Thunder Mountain, who's big but had to stay up all night studying for a blood test and has an IQ one point less than a banana. Atlas would have been a better "surprise" for Flair than the Junkyard Dog.
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Flair is livid that the NWA has signed a World title match for the Clash for Flair vs. JYD. Flair doesn't like a lot of people in this sport for professional reasons, but for personal reasons, he doesn't like JYD. Flair promises that JYD will not high-five Michael Jackson, Mike Tyson, or go on Arsenio Hall as the first black World Champion at his expense. "When Janet Jackson wrapped her arms around THIS, she wasn't thinking about the Junkyard Dog!" Then he namedrops Paula Abdul in a rather racially confused moment. Unbefuckinglievable. This is already a runaway for Worst Angle of the Year. I'd rather watch ten million Warrior promos than watch Flair do everything short of putting on a white hood.
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Well, wouldn't you know it: a perfectly timed, quintessential example of the "other" types of race-related angles I was comparing Lawler/Snowman to. Flair and Ole go from casual racism when referring to Rocky King to referring to him as "boy" and then later talking about showing JYD "what they do to guys like Rocky King back in Minnesota." Um...kudos to WCW for tackling the issue of Midwest racism? JYD cleans house and cuts a promo on Flair. Godawful. JYD was over with the crowd, but fuck me, this was everything the Lawler/Snowman angle hasn't been. The crowd pop for JYD and the fact that the racists are being booked as heels are the only two things saving this. Physically JYD looked horrible and Flair should be so above this bullshit. Oh, actually, during the first King interview I thought the surprise was going to be Ole's old buddy Thunderbolt Patterson, so in that way JYD is almost a pleasant surprise.
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This surprise is filling me with a greater and greater feeling of dread.
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Why the living fuck is this airing AFTER the PPV?
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The Horsemen are done talking about title shots for Luger and for Sting, and demand to know what information Ross has that's apparently a "surprise" for the Horsemen.
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About the most realistic-looking brawl ever in a studio that's seen its share of brawls. I don't know how legit uncomfortable Dave Brown was with all of this but it REALLY comes across in his attempts to host these segments, which just adds to the effect.
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Bring your pizza. Just...wow.