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El-P

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  1. El-P

    1997 Hype

    From memory Owen vs Vader is pretty much one of Owen's best match in the WWF. Ken vs Vader was cool as a spectacle to get Ken over as something special. Would last a whole one match, but hey, it was rather cool, not to mention brutal. Shawn vs Austin from KOTR never struck me as a very good match. Plus it really didn't mean shit in the grand scheme of things when you think about it. Maybe that's why no one talks about it. (and I feel old talking about WWF 1997, the high point of my pro-wrestling fandom... 16 years ago ? Damn, where all that time has gone ? I was 21 and in a blink of an eye I'm almost middle-aged and crazy...)
  2. You weren't the only one. I remember the hype on Byte This (yeah, I listened to Byte This in 1999... I know I know...) before he debuted. Andrew Martin was supposed to have the charisma and size of Sid with the work ethic of Shawn Micheals. Ah ah, those were the days...
  3. WEEK 72 (May 15 to 20, 2000) Title change of the week : Ric Flair wins the World Title for the 15th time (Nitro). Fourth WCW title change in five weeks. Match lasts about five minutes, but at least is pretty good while it does, as Flair seems to have some fire under his ass again. Russo is at the booth so we have to suffer through his commentary, as if Madden wasn't enough. After the match, Jarrett breaks a guitar (the second on the show, it's to the point of being comical) on the ref and David breaks a mini Statue of Liberty on Flair's head (because Vince is from NYC, get it ?......). Vince, wearing a Flair robe he stole at Flair's home (in a long and painfull video with David and Russo visiting the home and spewing bullshit) tries to leave with the belt but Nash prevents him and powerbomb Jarrett through the ring. Yes, they gimmicked the ring so they get a cool visual effect. Of course it makes no sense to have a guy like Jarrett go through the ring, but who gives a fuck about making sense at this point ? Clusterfuck of the week : Chris Candido & Tammy Fytch vs Crowbar & Daffney (Nitro). It's a cruiserweight title match. Yep. Here we go again with the bullshit. What's with Vince's obsession with putting the cruiserweight title around women in mixed matches ? Just a clusterfuck of a match with girls-on-guys spots and Daffney winning the title by pinning Tammy. I like everyone involved here but... *sight* And I forgot the "best" part of it, during the match, Miss Hancock showed up on the ramp and danced. Because a mixed-match is *not* enough TNA I guess. Debut of the week : Major Gunns (Nitro). So yeah, we got the whole Misfits in Action going, with stupid names like Private Stash (get it ? Ah ah ah, it's hilarious) or Lieutenant Loco (Chavo has to be loco, because he's Spanish, ya know). The killer of course is ex nWo girl Tylene Buck being repackaged as Major Gunns, so she rip her shirt after every match to show her huge fake boobs and do a first aid reviving gimmick on a prone wrestler after the match. She really looks like a porn actress too, no wonder she ended up doing it. Also, Booker T is jumping in everytime to help the MIA, so you know what's coming eventually. And finally they also wear a FUBAR shirt, like in "Fuck You Bischoff and Russo". Smells like money. Mark Madden really is a really crass announcer and sounds like a fat pig whenever a hot girl is on screen. At least he doesn't say "puppies". Stupid new gimmick match : Ambulance match (Nitro / Thunder). So, every Mike Awesome match is an ambulance match now, a stupid concept which makes the old stretcher match look like a good idea. That way we can be assured every Awesome match will be worst than it should. New tweeners of the week : Filthy Animals (Thunder) So, after just two weeks of coming back as heels, the Animals, who now consists of Konnan, Kidman, Rey, Juvy and .... Disco Inferno (wait, what ? And they don't bother explaining this either, at one point Disco just shows up in Bischoff's office, clamining he wants to be with his friends, and that's it. Since when Disco was friend with the Animals ?) already have some issue with the New Blood, so they are just splitting from the team. As for now they still are rather heelish (since they feud with the faces MIA it seems like), but it's just a big structural blur again. Promo of the week : Ric Flair (Thunder). He already had cut a solid, emotionnal promo on David on Nitro, but this promo making fun of Russo is really pretty funny, basically saying Russo was a little Italian boy and his parents wanted him to grow up like Bruno Sammartino, but one day he flipped the channel on TBS and saw the Nature Boy, and all of a sudden he wanted to become like him, to the great despair of his very catholic parents. But Russo couldn't be like the Nature Boy because he had no muscle, no girl, no long limousine etc... Of course Jarrett had to run in and cut a tepid promo to ruin the moment, then it got all mixed up with Arn Anderson (and really, I like Arn a lot, but I don't care about a promo from a guy who I know won't actually wrestle, it's just false advertisement) and later another Flair beatdown, with Flair showing odd signs of weakness. But hey, the promo on Russo was fun at least. Swerve of the week : Sid Vicous coming back to help DDP, then turning on him (Nitro). Come on, you know you gotta have one. I saw that one coming from a thousand miles ago (and I wasn't aware of it beforehand). Feud that won't die of the week : Vampiro vs Sting (Nitro / Thunder). Gawwwwwwd. This will last forever ! On Nitro Sting beats Vamp in a House of Fun (or whatever name it gets, the big cage with handcuffs on the side) in like 5 minutes. We fucking get it, Vamp is a total jobber, why this has to go on again and again ? So yeah, it refuses to end, with Vamp playing the worst Mankind/Raven "I enjoy pain" routine ever before pulling off a Houdini, and then another terrible promo on Thunder "Yes, I'm psycho.", and more stupid gimmick, this time the ropes getting set on fire. Seriously, I can't take anymore of this shit, this is like a Kane feud. Hoe of the week : Torrie Wilson (Nitro). Yeah, because she's the reason Horace finally turns on his uncle. Yes, they are doing the same thing they did with David Flair one year before. I think it should be noted that not only the booking is eyegoungingly godawful, but these guys aren't especially creative either, everything is incredibly repetitive, predictable and deja-vu for the most part. I think that hasn't been said enough about Russo, his ideas suck dick, but they aren't very original either. So yeah, we get Horace leaving with Torrie, who undoubtedly will perform sexual favors on the big bald guy, at least that's what we are supposed to believe. Ah, women... Of course Kidman is not happy with this and will jump on Horace on Thunder. More Goldberg giant truck nonsense too. Terry Funk kept his hardcore title by defeating the Cat on Thunder, which was decently funny and absurd. Norman & Ralphus have no jobs now, so they are selling popcorn and T-shirts. Aww, whatever. Kanyon did an interview from his hospital bed, and it looked fake and unsincere as shit, you can already smell the next ultimate swerve from here.
  4. Mea culpa, I really thought the French word "complotiste" was directly derived from an English word in a lazy "Frenglish" fashion, as we call it. I'll put it en Français dans le texte then. But well, you understood what I meant anyway I guess.
  5. WEEK 71 (May 8 to 13) Mind blowing stupid line of the week : "I haven't burn any bridges. I call Vince McMahon. You'll be on Raw next Monday. You'll be a big star." Ric Flair to David. (Nitro) Yes, Ric Flair tries to get his son back to his side by saying he can get him to the big leagues, basically. I'm not a complotiste or anything, but lines like this just make me wonder if those who think Russo had been sent down WCW to kill them aren't right. I mean, seriously ? All that part of the really terrible angle with Flair and his son. Yeah, David turning on his dad would be a big deal if he hadn't turned the year before already, then if Flair hadn't punished him booking him with Meng, then if Flair showed some actual concern a few months before when David was getting killed by The Wall on a weekly basis. So yeah, this whole feud is stupid, and Russo being involved as the main heel character makes it even worse, but it's nothing these two haven't gone through already. David "wrestled" Arn on Thunder too. Match of the week : Mike Awesome vs DDP (Nitro). Stretcher match, so it can't get too good, but the FMW fan in me got a kick out of these two doing some really poor DDTs all over the place (although I doubt they really were paying hommage to Onita and Pogo, although my fantasist mind likes to think so). Nice little Nitro match, and Awesome is slowly building a real killer image, which is what they should have done since the beginning. This guy could be a player in a rebuilt WCW... Well, I know, I know... Sprint of the week : Jeff Jarrett vs Sting (Nitro). Despite being involved in a real stinker of a feud with jabronie Vamp, Sting is still over as all hell, and he's actualy fired up, as showed by this short match that really flows well thanks to Jeff's fluid work and Sting's intensity. Too bad it ends with Vamp coming from under the ring to drag Sting into the "darkness" (what, again ???). Sting is drenched in red goo, and gets pinned. That Vamp vs Sting feud maybe one of the worst ever in the company's history. Bad matches, horrible heel promos, awful gimmicks, and Vamp never even seems like that much of a challenge for Sting in the ring. On Thunder, Vamp threatens to bite off Sting's crow's head, a-la Ozzy. Terrible turn and comeback of the week : Rick Steiner turning and Scott Steiner (Nitro). Yep. Scott having issues with Russo only made him a rebel heel, but here we get Rick essentially turning him face by jumping on him while Scott is facing Russo scrub Tank Abbott. On Thunder Scott would get the help of babyfaces team Kronik, so it's as true as a turn as anything under Russo. So we have Scott Steiner turning babyface and Rey Mysterio Jr. acting as a heel now. Brillant. Of course nothing of that will last, but still. The whole deal with Rick Steiner and Tank is that they are challlenging Goldie... "Return" of the week : Goldberg in a monster truck squashing Tank's car (Nitro & Thunder). So, Goldie is back. Well, not really, we only see monster truck action. On Thunder Tank did the whole Gilberg entrance, complete with sparklers in his hands. Sid is nowgere to be seen BTW. Remember he was built for two months by SUllivan to be the ultimate monster to feed to Goldie. C-show cameo of the week : Future NWA World Champion Mike Rapada (World Wide). Never saw that guy before, and he looks actually pretty decent and un-indy like. Kinda like a babyface journeyman wrestler of old. Jobbed to Disco Inferno. In-ring debut of the week : Miss Elizabeth vs Daffney & Rhonda Sing (Nitro / Thunder). The rumour has it that Russo was effectively trying to get Liz to quit out of her big contract. Anyway, Liz doesn't wrestle of course, it all develops into angles with Chuck Palumbo attacking Luger. I really don't care much for these Powerplant meatheads. Time will tell. Cruiserweight match of the week : Chris Candido vs Crowbar (Thunder). Candido can only face a guy who has a valet it seems. Catfight incoming. Pretty fun spot match though, as expected with Crowbar involved. At some point Daffney does a top rope hurircanrana on Candido, which looked as good as anything this week. I like these two a lot, so there is some enjoyment to get at least. The only fun storyline right now is Terry Funk keeping his hardcore belt despite all the efforts of the New Blood, including in a 3 on 1 match against Harlem Heat on Thunder (helped by dissension in the ranks of the Heat). Had another funny match with Norman (with Ralphus around) on Nitro. Vampiro vs Sting / Ric Flair vs Russo are the depth of wrestling crap. Hogan is still feuding (along with Nash) with the Filthy Animals, who added Juvy in their ranks, resulting in a match between Kidman and Horace on Thunder which saw slimy heel Bischoff changing the rules on the fly to favour Kidman and the Animals. Watching Jeff Jarrett with the big gold belt still looks like a total miscast, and hearing him talk about being the chosen one and dropping slapnutz in every promo is painfull. He was so much more entertaining as a country singer, too bad he only kept that stupid guitar gimmick which is now totally irrelevent to his current character. I like Jarrett the worker, but he doesn't belong in that spot, period.
  6. A 619 throwing Flair off the tope rope would be the greatest bad spot ever.
  7. Vampiro did powerbomb Kidman on many occasions. Rewatching those WCW years, I ended up not ebing annoyed that much by that Kidman spot. I was, however, very annoyed by Booker T's lazy setup for his ridiculously delayed axe kick. The W.O.R.M. may be the most annoying spot ever. It should never hit his mark.
  8. Flair did hit the move regularly when he was working fiery babyface style. Of course the ratio is ridiculously low, but at least it's not a 0% success rate.
  9. PPV 17 : Slamboree 2000 Surprisingly entertaining match of the night : Hulk Hogan vs Kidman. I didn't care one bit for the buildup, but I admit teh match is actually quite the surreal spectacle. First, Kidman really did much better than I thought he would developping as a sneaky (and bumpy) heel pretty quick. Second, Hulk worked harder at making this work than he did in ages, and it actually was fresher than any other Hulk match since his Hollywood peak. Watching Hulk bump for a hurricanrana is worth the price of admission in itself. Then, Bischoff, who looks fat, did a good job as a heel referee, which was needed to make this an efficient spectacle since it was obvious Kidman would not beat Hulk, and got a shitload of heat for preventing Hulk from doing the legdrop, which got him slapped around for his trouble. I can't hate Bischoff thanks to stuff like this match. He ends up being powerbombed through a table, not to ever regain consciousness again, while Kidman crashes into his own table to his fate. Plus, there was no Hulk up, so yeah, I enjoyed it, fun stuff. Outrageous gimmick match of the night : DDP vs David Arquette vs Jeff Jarrett. This triple cage is truly ridiculous, but in a good pro-wrestling way. It does have a spectacular look too. The idea of climbing to the top of three cages to get the belt is actually kinda cool, and they worked their way around it better than I thought they would, although they do run through a bunch of token ladder match spots in the first cage in a way that looks a bit contrived. Arquette takes a few good bumps here and there. The brawl begins to get dangerous when they get to the second cage. At one point they run trough one of the wall and it looks quite scary, although I wonder if that wasn't gimmicked (looks like it). Jarrett draws blood which is a nice touch. The whole thing gets ridiculous with Awesome showing up on the second cage (so, everyone can enter this structure ?) and Arquette climbing to the top to "help DDP". Then we get the "ultimate swerve". Yawn. The match was fun despite its ridiculousness, or because of it most probably. Then we get Kanyon being thrown from the top of the first cage to teh floor. Well, to the ramp, which made a welcome comeback in WCW's landscape. So, all in all, depsite still being a pretty scary bump, Kanyon didn't fall from that high and he took what looked to ba a flat back bump. Still, that move was questionable at best, or really bad taste at worst since this happened at Kemper Arena. It wasn't nearly as bad I as thought though. Dream match of the night : Ric Flair vs Shane Douglas. For the former ECW fan in me, this is a dream match, although it should have happened in 96 or so to be really extremely cool. Still, this was way better than it had the right to be. Flair is wrestling in street clothes now, which I don't care for, but here he's fired up, and Douglas obviously wanted to make the few minutes he would get with Flair as special as he could. They work a pretty intense match, with Flair working fiery babyface style and Douglas going from bumping a lot to delivering some super solid offense, inclucing a very impressive suplex. If this had a good finish, it would have been the best Flair matches in eons. Sadly, Douglas can't get a break, and the match ends up being a backdrop to Vince Russo stroking his ego and putting himslef in the position to feud with Flair, with another stupid swerve, this time David hitting Flair from behind under a Sting disguise. So yeah, this is going toward a shitty program with the shittiest of the shittiest, but for a few minutes, this was a dream match of sorts, at least the best they could have in 2000. Sleeper of the night : Mike Awesome vs Kanyon. Same thing here, before going into a screwy finish ending up in a schmozz, these two worked a really nice, all offensive style match, with great bumping from Kanyon, impressive killer offense from Awesome, finally they have figured what kind of worker fits his style. Kanyon as a babyface is a bit odd though, he works better as heel but the combination of terrific bumping and cool offense allows him to get some good reaction still. Enjoyed this very much. Goofy match of the night : Terry Funk vs Norman Smiley & Ralphus. Ralphus wears a mask for most of the match, but is inpet as ever. And we get to see his butt crack, which is not something I wish I had seen. Anyway, they really tore it down backstage and destroy tons of stuff like it's a concession brawl in Tupelo, including a few comedy spots. They finally end up in the ring when things go really awful visually with an half-naked Ralphus trying to do the wiggle to Funk, but for a 2000 garbage match, when this kind of stuff had been overdone for years, this is pretty crazy and fun, and not too dangerous either. Ralphus as a one shot inept second to Norman worked for me, but he overstayed its welcome about the second time he showed up with Jericho, so I fear I may get tired from this pretty quick. "Hilarious" rebranding of the night : Hugh Morrus real name is actually Hugh G. Rection. Call him Captain Rection. Uh uh. That Russo guy is so damn funny. Huge erection. Get it ? Ah ah ah. So subtle too. Anyway, this is one of the worst name ever, but the match Demott works with Scott Steiner is really solid, and it's a testament to Steiner's efficiency as a heel that he makes people care somewhat for Rection here. Steiner is awesome, confronting people at ringside every two minutes, insulting the referee, delivering big spots then bumping hard for the babyface. And I like Shakira. The only thing that looks bad about this outfit is the Steiner Recliner, but hey, at least it's a safe hold, he sure won't hurt anyone with this. Copycat debut of the night : Chuck Palumbo as the new Total Package or something. The guy had been working a tarzan gimmick or sorts on Saturday Night until then, there he shows up at the end to help Buff Bagwell against Luger. The match was watchable, but Luger isn't as fun as a babyface as he was as a heel, he doesn't have much explosivity left. He still gets some good babyface heat now, WCW fans just never seem to get tired of Luger. Bagwell is good at stalling, but his execution is lazy as hell. Highlight is Liz (wearing a gorgeous dress) hitting Russo with the bat backstage then showing up at ringside to hit Bagwell too. Post match sees Bagwell carrying her away after the Luger beatdown. Hot cruiserweight opener of the night : Chris Candido vs The Artist. Just kidding, despite Candido's best effort and Terry Funk like bumping and maneurisms, the Artist just can't seem to have a good match with anyone. Get him off my TV already. Well, I'm amazed. This PPV was actually pretty damn enjoyable, as there was nothing really terrible or eye gouging except the Russo & Flair angle. Well, Vampiro vs Sting was pretty bad despite a good Sting flurry for the first few seconds, as was Candido vs Artist, but most of the rest of the card was either watchable, solid, to really fun. Stasiak vs Hennig was just there, but Stasiak didn't suck or anything, he just looked green. Bagwell vs Luger was plodding but the ending involving Liz was pretty good. Really, I'd say this was the best WCW PPV since probably Spring Stampede in 99, thanks to some solid stuff (Steiner/Rection, Awesome/Kanyon) the ridiculous garbage match, a surprisingly intense Douglas vs Flair match and the two fun spectacle main events. Sure, there were two stupid swerves and some rather flat stuff, but as a whole it had a decent flow. Maybe it's just that surrounded by this sea of unwatchable crap, it seemed like a breath of fresh air to get something that was actually fun, if mainly goofy and overbooked to be honest.
  10. I did jump out the window during week 70, but Vince Russo booked my fall so it was all a swerve and there I am, still alive and being forced to watch more 00 WCW, which is another sort of mental suicide.
  11. A bunny rabbit or a teady bear could have booked a better wrestling product than the one I'm subjecting myself to right now.
  12. WEEK 70 (May 1 to 5, 2000) Goofy match of the week : Crowbar vs Norman Smiley (Nitro). Mix of garbage spots and comedy, and since I enjoy both workers, it works for me. It would be the only match I would actually enjoy this week. The big "funny" part is Norman showing up with his new partner, under a huge mascot costume. He gets stuck between two ropes for most of the match, looks fat and stupid, and plays a role in the ending of a match when he accidentaly trips Norman who falls into Crowbar's craddle but reverses it and still wins the match. The partner would be revealed at Slamboree, and it won't be a good idea... Stupid vignette of the week : Vampiro and Sting in the cemetary (Nitro). In a grainy B&W. Supposed to be creepy I guess. It's only stupid. Vamp crashes a tombstone over Sting's head. This feud is truly awful, like the worst Taker stuff from the Attitude Era. I wonder why, really... Heel promos of the week : Scott Steiner (Nitro / Thunder). It's not much, but these are actual pro-wrestling heel promos that work because Steiner hit his points, doesn't try to look cool and doesn't use any stupid shooty-shooty comments. It shows surrounded by just terrible, boring and flat mic work by guys like Jarrett and Russo, Steiner is a breath of fresh air. He challenges Hogan and Thunder, and they work a short fight with Hugh Morrus showing up to double team Steiner, who gets no help from the New Blood faction, leading to him snapping on Bisch & Russo backstage. Comeback of the week : Konnan & Rey Mysterio Jr. (Nitro). As heels. Yep, Vince Russo insists on having Rey Mysterio Jr. as a heel. No comment. Okay, I'm sorry to not go into details this week, but at this point everything is turning into a giant blur with lots of awful Russo segments, more red goo falling from the ceiling, 2 minutes brawls with interferences, a lot of bullshit involving Liz being Russo's prisonner (the only good part would be a hard slap she gives to him), a lot of bullshit involving Russo and Flair (Douglas is officialy a Russo scrub now, it's sad), a lot of bullshit overall. Thunder was a bunch of short "New York rules" brawls (no referee, with the wrestlers doing their own count... no comment) in which the New Blood got their ass kicked, and ending with a giant, overlong and boring battle royale which featured probably the last appearance of Randy Savage in WCW, showing up to help the Millionaire's Club (if you guessed that Heenan said "He's in the best shape of his life !" you'd be right), and Bret Hart showing up to hit Hogan in the back with a chair. It's pretty odd, the more I watch this, the less I seem to remember what a good wrestling show or even match is all about. It's like it's so bad it's erasing the mere concept of a good wrestling show in my brain. I admit fast-forwarding quite a bit, and I try to hang onto the very few things that may end up being somewhat fun at some point, like Scott Steiner. But this is without a doubt the worst "wrestling" TV I've ever seen, by far.
  13. El-P

    Current WWE

    So, this is 2001 all over again ?
  14. The best part of this is Sullivan saying he had signed a three year contract 3 days before being removed from booking. Awesome carny move. Yeah, this was pretty fun to watch.
  15. Listened to the Cornette interview. I fail to see how he sounds bitter and angry. He has his opinions about what pro-wrestling has become, which are both very understandable and actually quite on the spot for the most part, and he talked about it very rationaly and not in an angry way. When he wasn't asked about modern wrestling, he was happy to talk about wrestling history, Jacky Fargo, his next book about Memphis wrestling merchandising and how he is in the best shape of his life right now. Sounded like a pretty happy 50 years old guy to me.
  16. And we're getting to *that* week. WEEK 69 (April 24 to 29, 2000) Death of WCW title change of the week : David Arquette wins the WCW World Title (Thunder). The title already had changed hands on Nitro when DDP won it back from Jarrett (after an epic one week reign) in a complete throwaway 6 minutes or so cage match, so it's not like the title was worth much anyway, but this is a joke. And it is good to remind everyone that he won the world title in a tag team match that featured him & then WCW champ DDP vs Jeff Jarrett & Eric Bischoff, with special heel referee Kimberly, by pinning Bischoff. So yeah, he won the single title from his *partner* in a tag match, by pinning another non-wrestler. I don't think you can make it much more retarded. Of course they sold it as some sort of hilarious gag, as showed by DDP's reaction, but it was still a complete slap in the face of the remaining pro-wrestling fans that still subjected themselves to that godawful product by sheer loyalty to a brand they had followed for years. I'll say one thing about Bischoff, at least he's a good heel who isn't afraid to show his ass, unlike his mentally challenged co-writer. Most idiotic spots of the week : David Arquette doing the WORM - tons of gluey red liquid falling from the ceiling onto Sting (Nitro). The first one is mind-blowing in its stupidity, with Arquette executing a trademark WWF spot, which the crowd ate BTW. Nice to see that the WWF was more over on WCW's TV than anything else. The second spot was, well, another WWF trademark of sort, since it's the whole "bloodbath" gimmick from the Brood, only done ten times more stupider. That Vampiro vs Sting feud is eye gouging. Catfights of the week : Tammy Fytch vs Paisley (Nitro - Thunder). Yep, Candido is paired with the Artist to defend the cruiserweight title. But it doesn't matter at all (plus note that the Artist was the cruiserweight champ before they made all the champs forfeit the belts, but he still ends up in a cruiserweight title feud anyway. Dumb fucks.). What matters is having Tammy and Paisley do awful catfights and "wrestling" in skimpy outfits. Tammy was the best manager in the country from 94 to 96, and now she's reduced to the role of a skanky stripper (and in a company where you have Liz, Torrie Wilson, Miss Hancock, Mona, Daffney, Paisley and the nWo girls, 2000 Tammy isn't exactly the hottest girl around anymore). Candido is reduced to selling for Paisley. Depressing. Spot of the week : Hulk Hogan powerbombed through a table by Mike Awesome (Nitro). Well, that was unexpected. Match was Awesome & Kidman vs Hogan, and it stank since Hogan is about 2-3 years removed from being able to have any entertainning matches, but I admit I didn't see that spot coming. Hogan bled and took the powerbomb through a table, before being put through another one by Kidman, jumping from the top rope. I wonder if the fact Awesome is somewhat related (by being Horace's cousin of sort I believe) helped. I still couldn't care less about this feud, but I'll give credit to Hogan there, and Kidman is slowly developping into a decent sneaky chickenshit bumping heel as showed by a nice little match with Horace on Thunder. Promo of the week : Ric Flair (Thunder). Good stuff, although done in hysterical old Flair style, talking about working hard for the wrestling business since 1985 along with Luger, talking about tradition and stuff, and calling Russo a mark. It was pretty intense, emotionnal and actually made me want to watch the program progress (I mean Flair vs Douglas). Of course Russo had to ruin it by saying "It's the time of the show I'm supposed to be a chickenshit heel." and other shooty nonsense and WWF references (dropping the Lex Express, please...). Russo is not only a very shitty performer, not understanding at all how a heel is supposed to act (he's not even backing down from freaking Kronik), but he really does come off like a smart mark jerkoff saying insider stuff at an indy show thinking he's getting himself over. It's really pathetic to watch, and the fact he barely gets any response just shows how unefficient he actually is on every level. That's the big difference with Bischoff, who does fall into trap of insider jokes and WWF references (although it didn't seemed that bad when he was trying everything to make Nitro a hot product at the beginning) but who knows how to work as a heel. Anyway, this ends up with Russo kidnapping Liz because he "owns her" (yeah, because Liz being under contract with WCW and not Luger makes Liz his property or something), because what would a wrestling show be without some woman abuse, right ? He's not even able to carry Liz in his arms, that giant doofus who wears short sleeves because he fancies himself as some sort of big guy I guess... So yeah, Flair promo was good, but Russo ruined it. Cameo of the week : Marc Mero having a fight with Tank Abbott (Thunder). Mero was at ringside, and jumped on Tank when he attacked some old boxing trainer. After the Sable cameo the previous year, now Mero shows up ? I guess it won't lead to anything either. The product is pretty torturous to watch. Zero good wrestling on the show, the only thing watchable has been Mike Awesome vs Booker T, with Awesome looking like he could be something if pushed right. Booker has been doing the same spots routine since early 1999, to say how much I think of him at this point. The Misfists in Action (not named yet) came to his aid after he was beaten up by Steiner during the post-match, so we'll get yet another stupid idea on our hands pretty soon. Kronik have an interesting look for a bunch of Road Warriors redux, although Adams kinda looks like a giant buffed up metrosexual clown. We got a Bret Hart sit down interview on Thudner explaining why he hit Hogan with the chair, talking about how Hogan always avoided him going back to the WWF days yaddi yaddi yadda. More WWF references and more useless TV time since Bret wasn't coming back anyway. The interview was good though, but should have happened like in late 97. Miss Hancock is randomely showing up taking notes during matches again. It's hilarious (or pathetic) that they have no idea what to do with her. Mind blowing. Of course she's not managing Los Fabulosos anymore, because God knows no one wants to see Mexican wrestlers on TV. I fail to see anything remotely decent or fun at this point. WCW never sunk that low. BTW, the Nitro following David Arquette winning the WCW title did a 2,5 rating, which is lower than most of Kevin Sullivan's booked Nitro in February and March. So yeah, that was all worth it.
  17. Well, I did take a break. Sort of... WEEK 68 (April 17 to 22) Shoot line of the week : "J.R you can kiss my ass" Vince Russo & Jeff Jarrett (Nitro). Yep. They had a "New York" celebration in the ring with all the New Blood champions, and had Vince Russo & then Jeff Jarrett cut a promo including this brillant line. So that's what it is all about. Russo "proving JR wrong about Jeff Jarrett". Holy shit. The level of retardation of this man keeps on amazing me more and more. Not only do they continuously refer to the WWF, but they sure aren't in position to brag when JR and the WWF are printing money while they are booking a bleeding-to-death promotion into the ground, with pathetic ratings and PPV buyrates that have sunk lower than ECW's on one occasion. Just amazing stuff, demonstrating their absolute stupidity on every level. Horrible promo of the week : Vampiro (Nitro). This guy is a rather shitty worker, but he's a downright god awful promo. He was already terrible at doing 4th rate brooding Raven promos as a babyface, he's just pathetic trying to cut an evil, "dark" promo on Sting. Then Sting beats him up anyway. This guy had gotten over somewhat as a babyface thanks to his look and a few cool spots, but he's just dying here, he shouldn't say a word on the mic. Running gag of the week : Mike Awesome powerbombed through a table by Kevin Nash (Nitro). I swear this had to be a rib. In a matter of one week, Mike Awesome has been booked against guys bigger than him and now has already eaten his own gimmick spot, even before he could execute one of his own on anyone. Worst miscasting ever. To think it will only get worse for him makes me sad. No wonder he hated his WCW stint. Dissension spot of the week : Scott Steiner signs a match against Jeff Jarrett (Nitro). "Could we see the New Blood crumbling before our eyes ?", as said Madden who oversells everything to ridiculous and incredibly annoying degrees ? Seriously, after one week ? Holy shit, this second Russo run is already hilarious and makes his first one looks like Giant Baba booking AJ in 1993. The match itself is a nothing match, like every other match on the show. We also had the continuation of the awful Hogan vs Kidman feud, with more nonsense I just don't want to get into since I'm honestly fast forwarding through most of it (brawl in the parking, more Hummer, Hogan talking about Terry Bollea, because it's all a shoot this time you see), the in-ring debut of Kronik, who apparently are taking the Harris spots, Booker T having to get back into Eric Bischoff's graces (I have no idea why he's aligned with them anyway), Shawn Stasiak defeating Curt Hennig and a stellar cliffhanger in which Bret Hart shows up to hit someone with the chair, but we don't know if it's Bischoff or Hogan. Also, Kanyon is back along DDP, after slapping him around a few weeks before when he was Champaign Kanyon, but I guess this has been erased from memory, and they have to promote Ready to Rumble so everyone involved in this has to be a babyface.
  18. From the top of my head... Tawada / Taue Midnight Express (any version) LCO Furnas & Kroffat Rockers
  19. PPV 16 : Spring Stampede 2000 Well. 14 matches in a 2 hours and 40 minutes show. Do the maths. I have no intention of going into this one in details. The one thing I'll say, is that for a guy for think title aren't worth shit, Russo sure spends a whole lot of time doing tournaments and title matches all over his cards. The whole affair was mostly heatless, with Hogan getting the biggest reaction by far (how bad does that sound ?). The crowd was sometime confused, reluctantly cheering for former super heels Team Package, but most of the time didn't care at all, because all those matches involved heels vs heels or guys that are suppsoed to be babyfaces but really haven't done anything to turn. The only ones who got some reactions were the established babyfaces who had stayed babyfaces, like Sting and DDP, and established heels who had stayed heels like Scott Steiner (who now comes out to the old Steiner theme again, way to make him look like a lesser guy), and to a lesser degree Shane Douglas. Shocking, uh ? Comical booking miscast of the night : Mike Awesome. He was booked again Bam Bam Bigelow (well, actually the Cat, but he worked 90% of his match against Bam Bam) and Scott Steiner. Way to go guys. What's next ? Sid ? The Wall ? Awesome really doesn't look that big next to those guys. Wrestling being perception, the only thing that can get him over are his huge dives over the top ropes (since the Wall already burned out his gimmick of putting people through tables). Well done. Epic failure of the night : Sting covered in... nothing. At the end of his match with Steiner, Sting was dragged by Vampiro through the ring in a very transparent and lame reactment of a Taker angle several years back. When he emerged back, Madden acted shocked : "Sting is covered in...." Well, he was covered in nothing. Tony said "Sting is busted open !". Well, it didn't appear like he was bleeding at all. Oh, yeah, there was some lame red makeup spot near his mouth, but nothing spectacular at all. So Sting was "bleeding profusely from the mouth." Shit, that was priceless. I guess the idea was to do some kind of lame bloodbath gimmick a la Brood (a gimmick that was already stupid as all hell in the WWF) or something. Anyway, it was quite the epic fail. Also, Sting had beaten Vamp clean and decisively earlier on in the tournament, so I don't see why anyone would care, Vamp was a jabronie (and quite frankly, considering his in-ring work, didn't deserved much better). Clusterfuck of the night : Chris Candido vs Shannon Moore vs Juventud Guerrera vs Crowbar vs Artist vs Lash Leroux. Went about five minutes. As bad as it sounds. Because having Candido vs Juvy in a solid 12 minute matches doesn't cut it I guess. Notable because it's Tammy Fytch's debut, helping Candido to win. She was refered to as "Sunny in the WWF". Of course. "Debut I erased from my memory" of the night : Brian Adams & Brian Carke. Gawwwwwwwd. Then helped Shane Douglas & Buff Bagwell winning the tag titles over Flair & Luger. Russo was at ringside, and he's about as good a performer as he is a writer. Poor Shane, he just couldn't get his dream feud with Flair, Russo is clearly putting himself at the center of things here. Oh, I had forgotten about the damn Kronik. The nicest thing I can say about them is that they aren't the Harris boys. And that would be it. Ridiculous but funny match of the night : Terry Funk vs Norman Smiley. I really don't care for the screaming Norman character in garbage matches, but this one was funny because it was Terry Funk doing stupid shit and them going through a lot of stuff and tearing stuff up backstage before getting into the ring. Dustin Rhodes showed up at the end and attacked Terry Funk, to complete silence. Poor bastard. He went through divorce with his hot wife and now he's stuck in a pathetic company nobody watches and can't get over to save his life. It's unfair, Dustin deserved way better than this. Highlight of the match is Terry's little dance after he wins the match, it's priceless. Swerve of the night : Kimberly turns on DDP. Of course she does. And you can see it coming from miles away too. The match between DDP and Jarrett is decent, but DDP totally outworks Jarrett, whom I had overrated after his first few months in WCW. He's solid but really would be better off working a chickenshit Memphis style heel, the tough guy style doesn't fit him well, no matter how hard he tries to drop those Lawler punches at times. So Kim turns on DDP so she can be with Eric Bischoff. He already booked himself to be with Liz in 1998. Insecurity maybe. Well, at least Eric is a very good heel and should get some good heat from this. This PPV was seriously unwatchable for the most part. Seriously. Like a 160 minutes Russo-Nitro with no commercial. Just eye gouging in its stupidity, predictability (in being stupid and "swervy") and complete lack of decent wrestling. The only really fun match was Terry vs Norman, as the main event was totally flat underachiever stuff, as Jarrett just doesn't belong on that level, and shouldn't work main events until he gets his ass over at the very least, which probably would never have happened anyway. Of course, the only reason why he ever was put there is because of politics, which is extremely ironic when you think of it and why Benoit & co left the company in the first place. Jarrett indeed was the "chosen one" to be on top of a dead promotion.
  20. So, UFC really *is* like pro-wrestling after all.
  21. I'll beat on the corpse unmercyfully then... ECW Press here I come... (or something). WEEK 67 (April 10 to 15, 2000) Oh, man, where do I start... Death of WCW "big idea" of the week : Millionaire's Club vs New Blood (Nitro / Thunder). So there it, is the big idea. Probably one of the stupidest concept ever, one that shows the absolute non understanding of pro-wrestling most basic's inner workings. Strip all the titles like the champions are meaningless. Turn heel all the "young guys" and turn babyface all the older established stars, no matter how hard the former booking team tried to get some of them over in distinguished roles. Vamp was getting over with the crowd as a babyface, turn him heel on Sting. Team Package were the two strongest heels on the roster, Luger especially had established a new version of his heel character that worked very well. Doesn't matter, now they are both babyfaces. Sid Vicious just turned heel on Hogan big time and was building heat for a Goldberg comeback. Doesn't matter, let's turn him back babyface. What the crowd invested in the previous weeks doesn't matter, what matters is Bischoff and Russo believing their own hype and being delusionnal enough in thinking *they* were the stars and the draws. Worst all of, the idea that a stable of older established stars called the Millionaire Club are supposed to be the babyface against the younger, hungrier generation who ends up looking like a bunch of whiners and crybabies. Amazingly stupid idea. Retarded feud of the week : Hulk Hogan vs Kidman (Nitro). Kidman was a mediocre working cruiserweight who got over strong as an underdog babyface thanks to his huge bumps and the way he was working from underneath as a fighting babyface. So let's turn him heel on freaking Hulk Hogan. Brillant idea. I won't go into the details of stupid promos and angles involving Hummers crashing cars. The killer, what makes this whole deal even stupider than it is, is this : in a Rumble sort of match on Thunder, Scott Steiner pinned Kidman clean in like 2 minutes. Yep. Lamest debut of the week : Shawn Stasiak "the Perfect Event" (Nitro). Comes out to a Mr. Perfect ripoff music theme. Attacks Curt Hennig. Yeah. The annoucers say "He was Meat in the WWF". Whaou ! What a star ! And now he's ripping off Hennig's old WWF gimmick. Money feud. Miscast debut of the week : Mike Awesome beats up Kevin Nash (Nitro). The ECW champion shows up on Nitro to attack Kevin Nash, and cuts a bad promo. If anyone needed a manager to talk for him, that was Awesome. Also, Kevin Nash is about the worst feud imaginable for Awesome, who needs a small bumping face to work well against. The killer here is that Awesome would job to Tazz on an ECW house show to drop the ECW title, then Tazz would job on WWF TV to Triple H. In essence, Mike Awesome jobbed to a WWF mid-card guy just after he debuted. Logical angle of the week : Shane Douglas attacks Ric Flair (Nitro). As Scott Steiner is confronting Flair, Shane Douglas, who was off in XPW cutting promos on Kevin Sullivan in the meantime, jumps on Flair from behind and beats him up. This is exactly how they should have debuted Douglas in the first place. Of course they have to have a match right on the second hour of Nitro, in street clothes, because building interest doesn't mean shit. And Vince Russo himself has to walk his stupid carcass down the ring to beat Flair up with a baseball bat, stealing Luger's gimmick in the process. Because Russo is not only a great booker, he's also a guy people want to see on TV... So yeah, Flair vs Douglas makes sense, but Russo is clearly getting the focus on his stupid ass, including showing up disguised as Sting on Thunder. Epic fail of the week : "Do you want to get your scissors ?" Eric Biscoff to Sid. (Nitro). And since it gathered zero reaction from the crowd (although Madden, who's unbearable, sold it like Bischoff has said something amazing), Eric said it twice. To zero reaction. That was pretty sad. And funny. And yeah, lots of nonsensical turns, two swerves already (Bischoff and Russo teasing a confrontation then getting along, and Bischoff betraying Hogan), lots of WWF references (including Russo dropping the names of Benoit, Guerrero, Malenko and Saturn, nice to remind your audience where the cools guys are), Kimberly getting a guitar squashed on her head (yeah, because what a wrestling show would be without good old woman abuse ?) and no clean match. So yeah, the Russo/Bischoff era began, and it's already the stupidest booked wrestling product this side of WWF 1999. In one week, they have proceeded to make things even worst than it ever was during the entire Russo's first stint. Nice jobs guys. Can't wait for what is to follow.
  22. WEEKS 65 & 66 (March 27 to April 5) Death of WCW "angle" of the week : Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo are back. (Nitro / Thunder / Saturday Night). This is it. It's useless to explain why this was the worst decision ever that could be made, but watching the entire TV shows being about these two was just nauseating. Not only did they bought their own hype, but they were in denial to the point they thought *they* were the draws and stars of the show. It's insane to se how much time was devoted to Bischoff & Russo, between the announcing repeating the same stuff ad nauseam and the countless vignettes of WCW workers, out of characters mind you, because it's a shoot, kissing their asses. The only two that didn't were Booker T and Ric Flair, who actually cut a funny short promo ending with "give me 10 minutes on Nitro and I'll tell you what I think of those two. Call my lawyer.". WCW is dead. Death of WCW evil promo of the week : Terry Bollea needs to reinvent the Hulk Hogan character. (Thunder, the following week). The first week of April was all recap shows from the history of Nitro & Thunder, plus there was that infamous Hogan interview, mixing shoot and kayfabe, in-character and out-of-character bullshit, but mostly meta-wrestling backstage insider shit. What comes off is : Hogan turned WCW from a southern based rasstlin' company in small arenas to superstardom and success; Hogan creating the Hollywood character was a stroke of genius; Billy Kidman wouldn't draw in a flee market; young and smaller guys needs to hit the gym more often and gain statures (= take steroids people if you want to get a push); Hogan vs Sid drew a lot on house shows because it's the classic bad guy turning on good guy storyline; Terry Bollea will reinvent the Hulk Hogan character. Holy shit. Debut of the week : Michael Modest (Nitro). The Artist wants to defend his title against some scrubs, so he picks this guy. Of course Candido and Chavo show up, screw things up for Artist, who gets pinned by this guy who looks like the older brother of Candido. They sure could have made a great Suicide Blondes team. I remember the hype about Michael Modest back in the days, he was talked about like he was some sort of über worker. He did look good. He never went anywhere I believe. Last random C-show match of the week : Jeremy Lopez & Tommy Rogers vs Los Fabulosos (Saturday Night). The show would become all recap, but we get Tommy Rogers one more time in 2000 against Silver King & Dandy, sans Miss Hancock since it's a C-show. Last random women match of the week : Mona vs Little Jeannie (Satudray Night). Yeah, as much as Stacy & Torrie look good (and I don't mention the three nWo strippers), they are still essentially useless at ringside (well, Stacy does dance). Meanwhile, Mona, who was young, attractive, a very good worker and who was getting over when she worked with Savage & Co, is doing meaningless women's matches on a C-show. This girl could have been something, but no, let's not have her do anything important nor get any TV time. Stupid, oh stupid WCW. Greatest match in the history of our sport : Ric Flair & Lex Luger vs Sting & Vampiro (Nitro) Texas Tornado match. So, Flair & Vamp have a boring, useless match in the ring. Meanwhile, Luger & Sting go all over the place. It's important to know that this was a Spring Break edition of Nitro, which I always loved, so we get near a pool so Luger can take the requisite back-bodydrop in the water. Ah, Luger. Wait, it's just the beginning, they are still fighting around the pool, and at some point Luger bumps (litteraly), into a waiter, so Luger throws him in the pool also. And they are going behind the kitchens or something, so that Sting can put Luger's face in a plate of sauce, guacamole and mustard or something. And then they go toward the beach. Liz, who's sporting a delicious miniskirt, follows them around, but she doesn't do much except hit Sting at one point, she was probably too busy having a good time. Wait, Sting puts a swimming ring aroung Luger's head. Now Luger uses a bunch of surfboards on Sting ! And they go toward the sea ! And yes, Luger takes another backdrop, this time in the sea ! And it gets even better, Sting does a freaking piledriver into the sea !!! And the referee is counting in the fucking water !!!!! This is seriously awesome. And Luger is not finished yet, he's feeding Sting *again* so he can take another bump into the water !!!! Okay. I just loved this. This is the apex of Luger's work of being a bumping goofball for the last few months. Okay. I guess I should just stop here, as I realize that there is still one year to go, including nearly eight months of a probably torturous Bischoff/Russo run which I've only glimpsed at through some out of context PPVs later in the decade.They haven't began their run and it's already infuriating the way they are putting themselves over and the way they are breaking the fourth wall. WCW was a zombi promotion anyway at this point, and Bischoff probably already had the idea of buying it for a few bucks at some point while Russo was running it deep into the cemetary ground. I'm taking a break. Will be back doing this after a while. Or not.
  23. El-P

    Current WWE

    Yep. On the other hand, the new head writer who was in charge of the TV just quit WWE this week. To be honest I'm kinda baffled that Heyman is still considered some kind of genius booking in 2013, not to mention Dutch Mantell was booking that red hot TNA promotion a few years ago (granted, working with Russo).
  24. WEEK 64 (March 20 to 24) 12 Months countdown to the Death of WCW match of the week : Ric Flair vs Sting (Nitro). Almost day for day, one year later, they would have that last WCW match ever on Nitro. The match itself is everything you can guess about Flair vs Sting. Wrestling audiences are like little children, they like to be told the same freaking story over and over again it seems, as it still works for this crowd depsite being the most tired and overdone match in the world at this point. They are raelly giving the rub to Vampiro in all those segemnts, which is good I guess. Whiner of the week : Hulk Hogan (Thunder). After the Sid turn (more later), Scott Steiner cutting a promo on Hogan and Dustin challenging him, Hulk basically complains to Jimmy Hart that everyone is after him. This comes off so whiny and lame. What a terrible babyface Hogan was. Turn of the week : Sid Vicious turning heel on Hogan (Nitro). Damn, and I didn't see it coming before the last moment. I though Sid acting like a puppy and a Hogan cheerleader was pretty pathetic, especially his promos with Jimmy Hart. In the end, I was fooled like a 10 year old mark when during the tag match against Jarrett & Steiner, Sid looked annoyed by the Hogan chants and turned on his partner with a chokeslam. Hey, Sid turning heel on Hogan when he has all the reasons to never gets old with me, it's like 1992 all over again, and I'm happy about it. That being said, I don't see how Sullivan could have kept the belt on Sid with this Hogan program looming in. The Sid turn was a necessity to bring Goldie back as a super face to dethrone the evil monster champ, but I doubt Hogan would have let it happened. New feud of the week : Jung Dragons vs 3-Count (Thunder). This is a short match, but it's already full of cool spots and dives that are already much better and fun than anything done by the overrated WWF crew of Hardies/E&C/Dudleys at the same time. This will carry me through those trying months to come hopefully. Debut of the week : Chris Candido (Nitro). Had a match with Lash Leroux, then another one with CHavo on Thunder, and he already looks like the best worker in the company, and cuts funny promos as usual. Candido remains one of my all-time favourite, and it's too bad his WCW stint was so short. He was a breath of fresh air in the undercard, and brought back some of what had been lost with Benoit & Eddie. Random match of the week : Jung Dragons vs PG-13 & Frog (Saturday Night). Jamie Dundee doing his goofy martial art against Jimmy Yang was the highlight of this fun little match. PG-13 were criminally underused. No idea who the hell The Frog was, he was a guy with green long hair. Repackaging of the week : Los Fabulosos with Miss Hancock (Thunder). Yeah ! Silver King & El Dandy wearing funky bodysuits, managed by Miss Hancock. This had so much potential of actually having tons of good matches and sex-appeal to boot, so it would have gotten over (although Miss Hancock would have drawn too much attention to her probably). The idea of Dandy & Silver King finally getting a serious push was too good to be true. This week's TV was much better than the previous ones, with some positive things like the comeback of Scott Steiner, the debut of Candido, Los Fabulosos, Luger having a decent match with Vampiro and keeping on being a trooper (his facials during the match were really funny), Chavo Guerrero getting back on TV. Sadly, it would be the last week before the apocalypse. On March 22, Kevin Sullivan was demoted as a head booker and the nightmarish team of Russo/Bischoff got Brad Siegel's endorsement. They already announced on Saturday Night that Bischoff was coming back, and they teased Russo coming back. When your big news on TV is talking about the freaking writer/booker, you know you're fucked. It's amazing to me that after his godawful and gigantic failure of a first run, Siegel gave a second chance to Russo at all. Just complete retardation. It would take two more weeks before the Russo/Bischoff era would really begin, as the next Nitro on Spring Break would be some sort of a transition.
  25. Damn. You are a prick tease.
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