El-P

In other news, there is a new series of A&E revisionist historical documentaries coming up and the last one on March 26 before Mania is... Dusty Rhodes.

In the ring, he was black trunks with a logo, black boots, black kneepads with some logo on it I believe. Actually at this time there was kind of a return to more "traditional" in-ring garments after the excess of the Mid 90's where everybody got more and more dressed up, including in "job" outfits. It was kinda refreshing for a while, then got toward the dullard style of the mid 00's. The Rumble matches are actually a good way to gauge how the "fashion" has evolved over the years.

Steve Austin, The Rock and yes, Roman Reigns disagree. Odd, that did not strike me at all this time, like for instance how everybody looked dull and the same in the mid 00's, with the short trunks, crew cuts and tribal tatoos. Maybe I just did not pay attention. Seth Rollins looks like Juice Robinson now (the Flamboyant version, not the lame current Bullet Club one).

It's because Peacock has much more viewers than last year. Still huge numbers of course, but it was predictable. Like Mania is gonna be the biggest ever, by far. The most viewed moment that has nothing to do with a shitbag influencer is, well, the Sami Zayn/Roman Reigns angle. As far as Vince not getting involved, there's no point for him to make more waves until the company is sold.

By the Summer, the company will be sold and Vince is gonna take over everything anyway, so...

There's a very real possibility that they split the titles again, one for each "brand".

One of the most intriguing thing is how are they gonna book a babyface star, something they have been totally inept at for almost a decade now. Because let's face it, Triple H record says everything you have to know about his approach. They haven't booked a babyface champ well since the Cena days. Not to mention, at a time where a sell will be imminent. And although it can look like a goofy argument on the surface, honestly the fact that the Saudis are in the race has to not help Sami Zayn in the long haul.

Literally no one is saying this. Sami Zayn is going to be fine either way, and Cody probably will too (unless they really fuck things up to the point they turn the crowd against him, then again, that never happened, right ?). If after the Rumble angle, you don't get why Sami Zayn vs Roman Reigns is the right match for Mania, then really, that's called being completely tone deaf.

Roman Reigns is still the Ace of the company even after losing. Don't get confused, people. He's coming back at the latest next Mania to get his title back, probably as a straight face, which he can be now without any rejection from the audience. He's the Man and will remain so. Cody winning it makes him close to be that guy, but there's no need to replace Roman Reigns as of now when he's at his best and most over ever, unless he wants to branch out into movies. Cody is also a banged up 38 years old guy who had said in the past he wanted to retire at 40 (yeah, I know). And fuck, if I'm Cody and get the Roman Reigns streak victory, as soon as my contract ends, I'm flying back to AEW and cut the following promo : Cody, looking emotional : "I know you feel I abandoned you when you most needed it. But I needed to conquer the other guy, not gonna lie, yes I did it for me, I did it for my father, but above everything, I did it for you, I did it for US ! And now I'm back home !!!!!!!!!!" And then doing the teary eye gimmick. Do it, ya carny mofo. BTW, Cody doing a salute to the Bucks after his victory was really cool and says a lot about their personal relationship.

This. The idea that Sami Zayn would *lose* something if he beat Reigns at Mania for the titles is amazing. What the fuck. And it's not like it means Sami has to become the face of the company. He won't. But he's a made man after this. Like Foley was when he beat The Rock. He can lose the title in 3 months after this. But this is the match the audience wants to see now. Not Sami & KO vs the Usos. Cody's story has *nothing* to do with Reigns. He can win '"the title that his father never won" (talk about a bullshit story BTW, like it mattered one bit to Dusty Rhodes when he jumped after fucking up Crockett's territory with his shitty egoistical booking) at any point against anyone. So they'll build a pissant story in two months for Cody and Reigns just for Mania when you have one of their greatest angle ever leading to a logical blow-off at the right moment, with the right timing and the audience begging for it ? And people are gonna argue about that because of Sami's beard or because "but WWE said" ? WWE has done so much damage to people's mind, it's crazy.

If they job Sami in Montreal of all places after this, they are still the biggest idiots ever. So, Cody points at sign, goes to Mania and gets the ultimate rub. It tells a whole lot that after years and years of "developmental", the guy who will end up beating Roman Reigns is a guy *they did not* make a star themselves. Even more ironic, at the very point where they actually have that babyface star that got over on their own watch (of course, being a product of the indies, like Danielson & Punk before, but still). And they still gonna go with "the AEW guy" (you can twist it anyway you want it, if Cody comes back to WWE after his stints in IMPACT and ROH, there's no way they see him as anything of a bigger deal he was before he left, as experience showed, AEW is the only reason why Cody came back with the status and pull he got). Not that I think Cody is taking Roman's spot at all as the Ace (and face) of the company, but he has the biggest shot ever getting that close. By the way, the men's Rumble having no surprise reminds me that Bronson Reed just resigned. A few months ago, he was beating Okada in the G1 and then main eventing against him. He shows up to be the fucking Miz heater. He wasn't even in the Rumble where he could have shined. No Eric Young either (I mean, if Chelsea Green was there, why not Eric Young, at least it would have been a cool little surprise return). Really a dull Rumble on that aspect. Nia Jax returning is still the funniest (well, from my perspective when it's like I'm safe from harm) thing though. Of all people.

Four if you count Bray. I know I know, I feel your pain.

Yeah, good point too. What did Gunther even do to him that warranted this ? Although everybody was going gaga for Cody's first year as a babyface in AEW, and obviously he did great back then, my favorite Cody Rhodes is the Cody & Brandi kinda Macho King & Queen Sheri act I've seen them done in ROH and NJPW. That was the most fun Cody to me and really when he started to click, thanks in part to Brandi's terrific heel valet work. As far as WWE's audience turning on him. Not convinced because : Yep. Also, and I hate to be that guy (well, not really), but I'm not convinced that if Cody cuts the infamous "I resolved racism, USA is the greatest country in the world" promo in WWE, the crowd doesn't cheer him like crazy. Let's be real, the WWE audience (a loud part of it at least) chanted "Thank you Vince", ok ? I know I sound patronizing, but like LA Knight would say, it's just a fact of life. To me Cody is a heel at heart and there's something that reeks of duplicity in his game, complete with the teary eye and the never-ending references to his father (I don't care about psychoanalysis whatsoever, but for fuck's sake, move on). All in all, he's a perfect WWE corporate babyface. You know why ? Because it was not supposed to happen when it did. Because the segment has been changed at the last moment. Because Dwayne could not be bothered. Not watching week to week and seen as a one-off, I thought it was tremendous. Kinda long though, it could have been faster paced. But that's WWE style, everything has to be heavy-handed and underlined as all hell. That's the style. I won't ask them to not be what they are.

who just faced 28 other guys for 45 minutes, while Cody got the lucky number and came off fresh as a daisy when the other guy was already exhausted and bleeding from the back. I mean, I'm joking because obviously it was really good in execution, and the short "match" they had was excellent (Hopefully Gunther gets a huge match at Mania, he sure deserves it), but if you think about it kayfabe-wise, it's really Cody Rhodes, the "grandson of a plumber" (but really the son of one of the biggest star in the busines and a rich kid with a name) getting the obvious favoritism treatment for WWE babyfaces (I mean, Hogan always came out in the latest spots too), while Rhea Ripley had to work her ass like crazy to win the match. It absolutely fits with Cody's meta character, which really is a carny mofo, always full of shit behind his charming smile and crocodile tears (he has nothing on Jarrett though), which makes it actually really funny. Also, the "From dashing to Stardust to the road to WrestleMania main event" line totally cracked me up. Sure, he was Stardust, then vanished and came back as a big star for whatever reason.

He came in #30 and then had his ass beaten by a guy who was there since the beginning. Still won though. #Youdeserveit. Meanwhile, heel Rhea came in #1 and tangled with Liv who also came in #1 (or 2, but that's the same thing) at the end. Kayfabe wise, who REALLY earned a victory in the Rumble ? I still can't figure why they thought the sperm police light was a good idea for a "creepy" match. Really, is Uncle Howdy some kind of swinger's club owner now ?

I have not red the thread yet. So there. Well, WWE is such a losing proposition in term of pro-wrestling content overall. Sure, there was *this* angles at the end. But overall, this was by far the worst and most boring show I've seen in forever. It kinda reminds me how spoiled I actually am with what I'm getting on a weekly basis and with big shows from Japan and other matches here and there from Europe, indies of Mexico. But first, some positives. Like I said, I haven't watched a WWE show since last year's Rumble. It seems, maybe it's just me being in a good mood, that the direction is quite a bit less epileptic than it was before. Also, the announcing is better, with less idiotic WWE tropes (also way too much still). Speaking of which, it's the first time I heard Pat McAfee. Meltz referred to him after Don West's passing, and I totally see the comparison. He's so fun and refreshing, making some boring stuff watchable simply because he's engaging and funny and enthousiastic in a non-fake way. He also namedropped Musashimaru for no reason. Love me some McAfee for sure. Also, and I hate to be that guy, but I did enjoy the non-ramped entrance. Very much an old-school (there, I said it) feel, which also was refreshing as hell. I thought both Rumble worked in opposite ways. First part of the Men's Rumble I thought was fun enough, mostly carried by Gunther, Sheamus, Kofi (gotta love the "his feet is still on the chair" bullshit call which I thought was hilarious) and such. One thing about the Rumble, is that there's always this moment with the very first person that is gonna get no reaction whatsoever and you feel kinda bad for them. Poor Karrion Kross really. The silence was crushing, despite the push, the production, Scarlett (why wasn't she in the Rumble ???? They just won't let her do anything, what a waste). Totally peaked with Lesnar entering, then Lashley ejecting his ass. From there, I thought the match really kinda died until Edge showed up, then died again. I could not believe Cody would actually enter N°30. Think about this, the babyface won after entering last and eliminating the heel who lasted the entire thing. Talk about ass-backward booking in term of what it says about Cody. Also, despite the ending stretch being excellent, there was no doubt whatsoever in the result. I mean, come on. Also, we talked about how really the only interesting and fun thing in the Rumble was the surprises and returns, well we ain't got none for ya. Except Booker T aka the stupidest guy in the pro-wrestling landscape this side of Disco Inferno, who really is neither a surprise nor a return when he's announcing NXT. He looked like shit too. Also, let the whole "people are interested in giants" discussion die already. Omos got crickets. Braun kinda got the crowd excited for him to thrown his useless ass out for ten seconds, then silence was back on. And finally, his Austin Theory really slotted to be the future chosen one ? Because he's fucking mid as they come here. The one thing finally, is that Cody did not get that giant pop I expected. Not nearly as big as Lesnar, Edge or Rollins (or Becky and Asuka). Sure, he did get a big pop, but I expected much bigger. More on that later. Women's Rumble was the opposite in that apart fro Rhea and Liv starting out, it was dead and boring for the whole 2/3 and really only picked up when Becky showed up. So many not over people. Dana Brooke still looks like a rookie who has one year of experience. Roxanne Perez on the other hand, killed it. Raquel came off like a future star possibly. Hey, that's Chelsea Green. Hopefully she gets paid way more than in IMPACT, because she sure was slotted as a complete joke already. Way to re-debut someone. Between her and Emma, well, those "return to my dream job, I have so much to accomplish" wishes just won't go nowhere fast. Think about this, Mickie James last, year, as IMPACT champion, was treated much better than those two were this year. And speaking of surprises and me dreading people I really care about showing up, I actually thought she could show up and holy fuck was I maniacally laughing when Nia Jax popped up. And it took her a minute or two to display her amazing ineptess, totally blowing up the most basic monster highspot in the world, that dumb fuck can't even take a fucking bodyslam right ! Still as shitty as ever. I'm so glad she won't show up anywhere I care about. Watch out for concussions girls though. And THAT was the big surprise return ? I can't think of any worse, really. What was good though was the ending stretch, as unlike the men's Rumble there actually was some doubts (well, some, not a lot) with a strong three ways of Asuka, Rhea and Liv. Michelle McCool going from the audience to the ring was kinda cool, although really, MAGATaker's wife, yuck. She's there every year now, not really a shocking or surprising thing either. Piper Niven getting back her identity was very cool. Finally she may have a decent run now. Says a lot about that someone who is not watching the week-to-week product was able to guess both winners, without much doubts at all. The mid-card was..... BAD. Seriously, I felt bad for BeLair. Is that the same girl I watched killing it with Sasha Banks in a Mania main event a few years back ? She got crickets, the match wasn't very good at all, it was just there and basically a backdrop for a second LORE bullshit angle that really wasn't anything more than what you'd expect on a weekly TV show. And OMG the Bray stuff was WrestleCrap gaLORE indeed. First, I find it hilarious that we were supposed to find scary a match that had SPONSORED BY MOUNTAIN DREW placated al over it. Kinda ruins the atmosphere. But it's not like the atmosphere was anything eerie either. I mean, the whole fluorescent light shit was hilarious because it has nothing evil or creepy about it. At all. It rather had the feeling of being in a nightclub in Dubaï with crypto-bros and shit-ass influencers (hey, Logan Paul was on the show, fuck him) with escort girls on their arms drinking flashy cocktails and listening to crappy EDM. Plus, the match was a totally random and dull WWE style garbage match, there as fuck. The post match was nothing short of Black Scorpion tier in term of amazingly dumb "scary movie" bullshit, complete with a hobo doing his worst Jeff Hardy cosplay while Bray "I swear I'm not doing the Fiend now, it's a completely different and deep character despite me wearing a mask and no-selling weapon shots" Wyatt was looking on firecrakers go off (and thankfully nothing caught fire this time). How in the hell anyone can defend this shit ? This is cinema ! Sure, maybe. Like, really really really shitty cinema that only used to be released on third rate straight-to-DVD editions. The main event was what it was. Again, good, solid if you will, but honestly very unspectacular (apart from Kevin Owens doing his best "Darby Allin wants to break his neck on the stairs" spots) and unefficient work considering the match was just a backdrop for the post match and the issue was never ever in doubt. It's hard to build a match around throwing bombs and doing nearfalls galore when there's 0% chance any of them will actually led to a finish. The post match angle however, and really this was all about this, was AWESOME. And I say this as someone who again, don't watch the product apart from clips here and there, so I'm totally not invested in this. And still, I popped like crazy when Sami finally hit Roman with a chair. Just wonderfully done from everyone here. Finally got them some "Fuck Roman" chants (I mean, really, these people are complete trash apart from Jay). After seeing this, is there any doubt that OBVIOUSLY Sami Zayn is the one who should beat Roman Reigns in the end ? They are not giving this to Cody, right ? First, Sami is much more over as displayed tonight, plus really, this is the best angle they did in like at least 10 years, the build is awesome, Sami is over as fuck all. There's only one right conclusion to this, Sami beating Roman for the titles. Cody can win later. If they don't run with Sami NOW, then they still don't get it.

I finally took the time to watch this. The hype is deserved. Rocky Romero is one of those under the radar great worker who have been great for like 15 years now. I don't think I had seen him in Arena Mexico before, but damn this audience hated him. Awesome match, easy MOTYC level stuff, and that HEAT was just something else. Only in Mexico can you get that kinda heat anymore, and it's not like it was a full house either. Great, great pro-wrestling.

It was absolutely about the Rock. Of course it was. It's well documented. Of course. But the destination was always supposed to be the Rock match at Mania. Which Roman would have won. That being said, Roman is still nowhere close to what Cena was/ still is. He's not a mover like Cena. So, was it worth it to make your entire roster useless for two years straight ? If you ask me, the answer is still no. If I was a WWE follower, I would be so damn tired of Roman Reigns on top by now, great Bloodline storyline notwithstanding.

I believe the first time I saw Emi Sakura, then Motokawa, it was on an FMW tape, most probably facing Kaori Nakayama since they were basically the entire FMW women division at this point (this was after the retirement of Kudo). 24 years later (gasp), she's out there in AEW at 46 years old having one of the best matches of the division thus far against Jaimie Hayter. Crazy how some things turn out.

I mean, it's time he put someone, anyone over. They have sacrificed their entire roster to him for more than two years straight for a match that is not going to happen. I highly doubt Roman Reigns is putting two people in a row though.

I dunno. As an outside observer, my first instinct is that Sami Zayn should be the one at this point (would certainly not have said that 6 months ago). What's that compelling about Cody's rise ? He was in AEW, he came back so now he's a big star, he worked with a torn pec, now he beats Roman Reigns. Yipeedoo. I don't think he's getting the mixed reactions either. But the rise of Sami Zayn has kinda changed the overall dynamics. A few years ago I went through all the RR matches with the idea of making a project about it. Then I wrote zero. I do seem to remember that too now that you mention it. Fuck, another genius idea from the savior of pro-wrestling I guess.

The other thing that would blow for Cody, is that because the Bloodline storyline is so damn over and Sami Zayn is so damn loved, he would end up receiving the same mixed reaction he did at the end in AEW because the audience wants Sami more than him. Oh, the ultimate irony. Odds of him crying when pointing at sign ? I also wonder what the revisionist history will be for Cody in a few years. Because he's basically Kevin Nash going back to WCW in 96 as a made star after leaving as Vinny Vegas. And they won't have that.

Well, not quite, but still. It's been 30 years since Yoko first won a Royal Rumble whose price was facing the champ at Mania. Since then, it has become basically the #2 PPV of the year and a tradition of pointing at signs. What's interesting is that we as wrestling fans take so many things for granted as "making sense". Not just irish-whips, limb-selling and such, but also the fact the Royal Rumble is the pathway to main event the biggest show of the year as a challenger for the biggest title in pro-wrestling (fuck, Vince is back) sports-entertainment. But when you take one or two step back and think about it for more than 5 seconds, it appears this is actually quite ridiculous. Take NJPW for instance. They have made a similar stipulation with the G1 in the last decade. So basically, to main event the biggest show of the year and challenge for the biggest title, you have to participate in a grueling one-month round robin tournament that includes basically the biggest stars and best wrestler in the promotion (and often the world, really, for the later), you have to win your block and face the winner of the other block and win. That's fucking A cred. Meanwhile, in WWE, there is two requisite that gives you the equivalent status and right : the ability to not get thrown over the top rope (and have *both* your feet touch the floor, because I guess one foot on the floor means you haven't touched the floor or something, which is way odd); be lucky. I mean, let's get real. The stats tells us that almost 60% of the winners have entered between 20 and 30. So basically, luck is the biggest factor. Which in a way, is actually totally realistic. But still, in term of kayfabe, the person who main event Mania basically is mostly lucky and their biggest actual pro-wrestling ability warranted is staying inside the ring. Mind explodes. It's utterly ridiculous, and it's a trope that has spread onto every other american promotion, sadly. Of course that comes from the fact that the Royal Rumble, at the start, had nothing to do with actually main eventing Mania. It was just a special attraction, like every Battle Royal were. And most of these special attractions, in WWE territory at the very least, was mostly a showcase for the freakishly big guys aka Andre. Hence the idea that big guys are the most dangerous in these type of match when in fact, they actually never win it. If you think about Yoko-like monsters, who else ever won the Royal Rumble to go to Mania ? Well, I can give you Lesnar, although a different type of monster in a different era, who won twice, Taker I will concede although he's really not the same kinda monster either.... and that's it (yeah, Braun winning the Blood Money Rumble doesn't count). And really, the entire thing is build on idiotic tropes. Not only the "abilities" in questions, but also the fact actual monster never win despite always being represented as big menaces, the fact you can walk on the barricade and not be eliminated because you have not touched the floor (which is totally the equivalent of a child game where you can't touch the floor because it's lava or something, but as long as you're jumping from chair to your bed, you're ok), the fact there's stereotyped roles that are now part of the pretty aimless "now it's your turn to do it" booking (the Diesel role, the Flair role, the Bushwhacker Luke role) and so on... And since all leads to the Mania main event, the fact that oh well, pretty much only 2 or 3 people out of 30 can really win it, making the whole thing easily either super boring or rather entertaining in a very contrived, overly scripted way. And then of course, pointing at sign. Which hopefully won't catch fire this year. All of this to say that really, everything is on rails, and the only thing that can make a Rumble really interesting are the surprises, either cool because actually surprising (aka not the same old same old "surprise" you see every three years) or because totally unexpected debuts (AJ style) or returns (Cena). This year, the only surprise that would do it would be some name from AEW (I don't see who, honestly) or, of course, The Rock working everybody in the media. That would blow the roof off (and would also blow for Cody). Anywoo. The Rumble was the only WWE show I watched last year, and neither Rumble were good, the men's was a complete bore and the women's only was fun because of figuring who they would bring back (and Mickie James showing up as IMPACT champion). Well, the same this year on paper, really. I'm guessing whoever they bring as a surprise from the Diva eras haven't signed an NDA. I wouldn't be surprised to see Lana, honestly, considering how much she kissed their ass lately. So there. My former favorite PPV of the year (until 1999, which killed the WWF fan in me, and for that I'm forever grateful considering the turn everything took in the long run). Roman Reigns vs Kevin Owens (probably the highlight of the show, unless Rock's shows up) Bianca BelAir vs Alexa Bliss Hopefully Bliss vomits some fluorescent goo and goes straight to LORELAND. Bray Wyatt vs L.A Knight Bullshit LORE for dummies ? YEAH Men's Royal Rumble Either Cody wins, either The Rock shows up and proves that there is, after all, only one pro-wrestling royal family Women's Royal Rumble Ronda Rousey won last year's Rumble. Seems like something from before the pandemic right now

42 and looking not a day under 50. As far as the Rumble goes, well of course Cody wins. Anything else would be ridiculous, unless it's Sami. Which won't happen. The women's Rumble, well, who cares ? They obviously don't. Rhea sounds like a sure bet. I mean, who the fuck else at this point ? I fully expect Matt Cardona & Chelsea Green to be "surprise" entrants. I enjoyed Green in IMPACT as a heel. I fully expect her to end up like Emma (whom I also enjoyed in IMPACT as a heel) aka "totally lost in the shuffle after one week". Hopefully there aren't too many of them that I really care about.