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WWE is killing me...


Mr Wrestling X

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- Match beginning: after a short back and forth, face team briefly get the upper hand

- Heel team takes control, isolates a member of the face team

- Member of face team plays Ricky Morton, heel team make continuous tags

- Ricky Morton builds momentum, lots of false hot tags

- Ricky Morton hits a big move that evens the score, both legal men go for the tag

- Heel legal man gets the tag, a split second later Ricky Morton makes the hot tag

- The hot tag man cleans house, followed by a short momentum shift back-and-forth

- The finish: the face team gets the win or the heel team gets the win

This is the exact same sequence which I described in some thread a couple of years ago, which occurred in damn near every indy tag match that I ever called. Back then, I got yelled at and lectured about how this was an effective formula and thus shouldn't be changed. What's different now, to get everyone to agree that this sucks when it's run into the ground?

Does everyone really agree now?

 

Really, doesn't this just come down to Kofi being kind of shitty?

Formula still rules, still gets over like clockwork, it's just being done by shittier wrestlers. Maybe Kofi would suck less if he was plugged into a different formula, but I honestly can't think of what that would be. Dude is all kinds of terrible.

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The Sheamus/Orton vs. Del Rio/Ziggler match on Raw stretched the formula to the breaking point. In it, Orton backdropped Del Rio out of the ring and then took an eternity to crawl to his corner so Del Rio could make it back into the ring and crawl to his corner for the simultaneous tag. It's like someone at WWE saw this thread and decided to fuck with us.

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  • 3 weeks later...

The Truth/Kofi v. Miz/Cesaro match on RAW was pretty much to a T exactly as described in this thread, note for note. So boring, so predictable....even Claudio who usually manages to be entertaining within the constraints of the WWE undercard style brought nothing interesting to the match

 

It's definitely a company problem, but Truth/Kofi seem to be the worst offenders....I don't think they've had a single good match since they've been a team

 

Kofi is possibly my least favorite wrestler in WWE. He does the same exact spots, same exact routine, in every. single. match. It's beyond boring and played out. I tune out either literally or figuratively when he's on screen. The only good match I remember him having this year was with Jericho, and only because Jericho forced him to work outside of the box.

 

The only other times he's interesting is in MITB or scramble style matches, because he's good at highspot type stuff, but in regular matches he seems incapable of doing anything but the same spots and moves he's been doing for years. If he busted out any kind of suplex or submission hold it would blow my mind.

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If he busted out any kind of suplex or submission hold it would blow my mind.

Don't ya think though, that if they wanted him to do suplexes and submission moves, he could easily do them on a basic level? That's not his role. Kofi flies around and does the same shit again and again and the little kids eat it up. Someone wrote somewhere once that "If they were 12 years old, Kofi Kingston would be my favorite wrestler.", and I totally get that. Hell, I've seen it at house shows over the years out here, the kids go crazy for the guy.
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If he busted out any kind of suplex or submission hold it would blow my mind.

Don't ya think though, that if they wanted him to do suplexes and submission moves, he could easily do them on a basic level? That's not his role. Kofi flies around and does the same shit again and again and the little kids eat it up. Someone wrote somewhere once that "If they were 12 years old, Kofi Kingston would be my favorite wrestler.", and I totally get that. Hell, I've seen it at house shows over the years out here, the kids go crazy for the guy.

 

But it's like I've said before, kid-friendly is not a synonym for infantile. You can fly around and entertain the kids without insulting the intelligence of adult viewers. Look at Rey Mysterio.

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If he busted out any kind of suplex or submission hold it would blow my mind.

Don't ya think though, that if they wanted him to do suplexes and submission moves, he could easily do them on a basic level? That's not his role. Kofi flies around and does the same shit again and again and the little kids eat it up. Someone wrote somewhere once that "If they were 12 years old, Kofi Kingston would be my favorite wrestler.", and I totally get that. Hell, I've seen it at house shows over the years out here, the kids go crazy for the guy.

 

But it's like I've said before, kid-friendly is not a synonym for infantile. You can fly around and entertain the kids without insulting the intelligence of adult viewers. Look at Rey Mysterio.

 

Yeah, but they don't care about insulting the intelligence of adults as long as Kofi sells merch and kids love him. Rey is a unique case because he's one of the best ever, in my opinion.
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If you get to Superstars and Smackdown, it's not as bad. Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. Rhodes/Miz was this to the T. But some matches like the Primetime Players vs. Epico/Primo on the lesser shows are a little different.

 

I like Kofi Kingston a little less each time I see him. His stuff is just awkward in the ring.

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