If Wrestlers Were Cheeses, What Cheeses Would They Be (Really)

[elliott]

I think the Stilton-Robinson connection is strengthened by many people's distaste for blue cheese and many people's distaste for old school mat wrestling.

 

However, I always found BIlly Robinson super easy to appreciate when I first started watching old school stuff years ago. He has more flair than someone like Dory Jr (using Dory as a guy associated with classic old school mat work, not picking on him for being boring) and was more likely to work in oddball holds or counters. He also has that awesome side backbreaker and would throw nice suplexes as well. All of these things make Billy easy to appreciate for a newcomer to old school wrestling.

 

Similarly, Stilton is a classic blue cheese, but has a rich sweetness and almost chocolaty notes that make it a more mellow experience. Additionally, since it isn't a totally overpowering blue, it is a good option if you want to add some pep to a dish without the cheese forcing itself to the center. I think this is sort of representative in Billy's vast appeal. He's sort of a gate keeper to great old school wrestlers. If Billy Robinson ain't you're thing, I wouldn't expect you to like Jack Brisco or Horst Hoffman. And if someone thought Stilton was too much, I wouldn't recommend something like Roquefort or Cabrales.

 

I think Lancashire, which is a great fucking cheese, would have to go to someone with a more broad appeal. I can't imagine people not liking those big english clothbound cheddards. I "get" not understanding the basic blue cheese flavor. I have always loved that shit, but so many people have an aversion to it. Something like Lancashire would be better for a Marty Jones, a Mark Rocco, or honestly Vader crossed my mind as well, even though he isn't British. The size of the wheels and the fact that they're traditionally aged in lard has some definite Vader similarities.

 

[elliott]

Alright, 40-31! Maybe the most interesting grouping of wrestlers thus far.

 

 

40) Yoshiaki Fujiawara – Capriole Farms Sofia –

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=capriole+farms+sofia&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjv-NCGjcjbAhVFoFsKHbBsDOMQ_AUICygC&biw=956&bih=554

 

Hey, another one from Capriole. So remember all the stuff I said about Chris Jericho an Humboldt Fog? This is like that, but the opposite. Sofia is a similar style of cheese to Humboldt Fog only vastly superior in quality. If you’re going to a cheese counter and asking for Capriole Sofia, you’re actually the cool person the hopeless Humboldt Fog fan thinks they are. Sofia is a beautiful, ash ripend, rich creamy funkified, luscious goat cheese that is easily one of the best cheeses in the world. It is a real connoisseur’s cheese. Just like Yoshiaki Fujiwara. You don’t just wade into Fujiwara and “get it.” That shit takes time and work. This wrestler and cheese are of similar quality. One of the best ever at what they do.

 

 

39) AJ Styles - Tarentaise –

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=-pMcW4GRCtLb9APhqov4Bg&q=tarentaise+cheese&oq=tarentaise+cheese&gs_l=img.3..0j0i24k1.16811.22026.0.22236.31.19.7.3.3.0.264.1969.14j4j1.19.0....0...1c.1.64.img..2.20.1703...0i67k1j0i10k1j0i10i24k1j0i30k1j0i5i30k1j0i8i30k1.0.DAjZ1Ey3pZA

 

AJ was a tough choice at first because again, I’m not a huge fan of the modern product. But, this became an easy pick. Tarentaise is a hard cow’s milk cheese from Vermont with a creamy, nutty flavor. The reason is makes for an easy comparison to AJ was it was first invented in 2002 (not long after AJ started making a real name for himself) and in 2017 was selected the best cheese in America by the American Cheese society. This so perfectly follows the trajectory of AJ’s career that it had to be Tarentaise. It is really a toss up as to which is better in their field. I learn towards Tarentaise, but I like modern American cheese more than I like modern wrestling.

 

 

38) Mick Foley - Campo de Montalbon –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=EpQcW7-cAsq80PEPlKeLyA8&q=campo+de+montalban+cheese&oq=campo+de+montal&gs_l=img.3.1.0j0i30k1j0i8i30k1j0i24k1l4.20277.22339.0.23875.15.15.0.0.0.0.343.2074.6j7j1j1.15.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.15.2063...0i67k1j0i5i30k1.0.7eTJzTMnqKQ

 

This was an easy pick. Campo de Montalbon is a Spanish cheese fashioned after Manchego. It has a nutty, approachable flavor that I can’t imagine anyone not enjoying. But the reason this was so easy, was it is a cheese made from a blend of Cow, Goat and Sheep’s milk which makes for natural comparison to the man who performed as Cactus Jack, Mankind and Dude Love. Campo is a consistent cheese that always gets the job done which is also relatable to Foley’s consistent effort no matter what. Campo is also a hard rinded cheese that could easily survive being dropped from the top of a ladder or thrown from the cell and still manage to get the job done. Foley was a better wrestler than Campo is cheese. But I love Campo and fuck I love Foley. Easy pick.

 

37) El Satanico – Cabrales –

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=K5QcW56zJuOs0PEPmbm90A0&q=Cabrales+Cheese&oq=Cabrales+Cheese&gs_l=img.3..0j0i8i30k1j0i24k1l8.41434.43467.0.43584.15.15.0.0.0.0.205.1415.11j2j1.14.0....0...1c.1.64.img..1.14.1409...0i67k1j0i30k1j0i5i30k1j0i10i24k1.0.xzBwf9xxgmQ

 

One of my favorite wrestlers gets matched up with one of my favorite cheeses. During GWE I came out as probably the biggest Satanico fan on the board. Well, I once told a room full of over 100 cheese experts that my favorite cheese was Cabrales and the overwhelming response was “Whoa, what a pick.” And some "hahahaha that's ridiculous!" laughs as well. This Spanish Blue cheese is made from a mixture of raw cow, goat and sheeps milk cheese. It is salty, sharp, and one of the most complex cheeses on earth. Difficult to find, much like Satanico’s peak runs, if you do the work and seek it out, you’ll be rewarded with one of the most incredible experiences of a lifetime. I talked a lot during GWE about Satanico’s 3 Peaks in 1984, 89-90 and 2001. This 3 peak career of Satanico is reflected by the cow, goat & sheep’s milk combining to make Cabrales, one of the greatest cheeses the world has ever seen. Being an extremely stinky, aggressive blue cheese means some people just won’t like this cheese no matter what, much like the reality of luchadores among American Hardcore wrestling fans. But those who get it are the lucky ones. This wrestler and cheese are of similar quality with Satanico probably being a better wrestler than Cabrales is cheese.

 

 

36) Buddy Rose - Rogue River Blue –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=WJQcW5_KEIL29APlnaWACQ&q=Rogue+River+Blue+Cheese&oq=Rogue+River+Blue+Cheese&gs_l=img.3..0j0i24k1l5.31833.34608.0.34763.23.14.0.9.9.0.215.1289.12j1j1.14.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.23.1546...0i67k1j0i30k1.0.2Um0S7XluEk

 

I had to go with the most highly regarded world renowned Oregon cheese to represent Portland Wrestling’s biggest star. Rogue River Blue is a seasonal blue cheese released annually on the autumnal equinox. Each wheel is handwrapped in Syrah grape leaves that have been soaked in pear brandy. This gives the funky blue cheese a sweet, fruity, boozy flavor that makes one of the most complex cheeses in the world extremely approachable for anyone regardless of whether or not they’re actually fans of blue cheese. This cheese has been named the #1 blue cheese in the entire world on multiple occasions and that strengthens the Buddy Rose connection to something beyond mere geography as Buddy was arguably (definitely) the best wrestler of the late 70s and early 80s. Buddy Rose and Rogue River Blue: Two of Oregon’s finest creations. Rogue River Blue might actually be a better cheese than Buddy Rose is wrestler. This is an extremely tough one to pick. Buddy Rose is probably in my top 20 all time wrestlers but Rogue River Blue might be a top 10 all time cheese. This is close.

 

 

35) El Dandy - Cabecou Feuille –

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=cabecou+feuille+cheese&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjalZ7TjsjbAhUUK30KHZYGCq4Q_AUICigB&biw=956&bih=554

 

El Dandy was someone I struggled with. I ended up going with the classic French Cabecou. The inspiration for Capriole Farms O’Banon (Riki Choshu), this fresh goat cheese is wrapped in a brandy soaked chestnut leaf which adds a boozy funk to the tangy, rich chevre inside. Really I picked this because I imagine El Dandy would like to be wrapped in anything bourbon soaked. It is also one of the best and most interesting young fresh cheeses in the world which makes for a nice representation for El Dandy’s mindblowing, but very short in the grand scheme of things 1989-90 peak run as maybe the best wrestler alive. Peak El Dandy is a better wrestler than Cabecou is cheese. But both are super interesting.

 

 

34) Chris Benoit - Disqualified.

 

33) Ricky Morton - Delice de Bourgogne –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=1ZUcW5qVLd-S0PEPx-iAwAU&q=delice+de+bourgogne&oq=delice+de&gs_l=img.3.0.0l10.35987.37456.0.38357.9.9.0.0.0.0.202.1108.5j3j1.9.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.9.1105...0i67k1.0.HbqLRApQUx0

 

Maybe the most crowd pleasing cheese out there is the perfect pick to represent the all time underdog babyface. Delice de Bourgogne is a French triple cream with crème fraiche added to the milk to create the most decadent thing on the face of the earth. Seriously, this is basically cake. Delice pairs with sparkling wines, baguettes and chocolates as well as Ricky Morton pairs with Robert Gibson.

 

 

32) Dustin Rhodes - Herve Mons Cone de Port Aubry –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=_5UcW4_DFd_G0PEPudKf2Ak&q=Cone+de+Port+Aubry+Cheese&oq=Cone+de+Port+Aubry+Cheese&gs_l=img.3...14998.19619.0.19747.27.25.2.0.0.0.179.2075.18j6.24.0....0...1c.1.64.img..1.14.1224...0j0i67k1j0i30k1j0i8i30k1.0.FKQXf8Mu9G4

 

This is one of my favorite cheeses ever, for a lot of reasons. It is a raw French Goat cheese from the Loire valley. Loire Valley French Goat Cheeses are to the cheese world what Texas is to Wrestlers. All of the best shit comes from there. Dustin Rhodes & Cone de Port Aubry are no different. This is a rustic, flaky, tangy, lactic, funky goat cheese that is utterly spectacular. Dustin Rhodes/Goldust is awesome and one of my favorites ever, but he doesn’t approach the quality of this cheese. Even ranked at #32. However, this is a no-brainer comparison when I tell you this one fact about Cone de Port Aubry. The original cheese maker created it as a homage to his wife and went to far as to use her cone shaped bra to shape the cheese. If Dustin Rhodes didn’t wear a cone shaped bra when he was Goldust, that was obviously a missed opportunity. But he should have. Anyway, only one wrestler in the top 100 would have wrestled in a cone shaped bra and it was Dustin Rhodes. This is a cheese was much better than the wrestler, even if the wrestler was awesome situation. But the facts made this an inevitable choice.

 

31) Shawn Michaels - Grana Padano –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=FJYcW6TzD_Pg9APHj7-4Ag&q=grana+padano+cheese&oq=Grana+P&gs_l=img.3.1.0j0i67k1j0l8.26010.27540.0.28756.7.7.0.0.0.0.212.702.6j0j1.7.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.7.698....0.Hhj-gsHXeXM

 

Really this is related completely to my pick to represent Ric Flair. Shawn Michaels is often referred to as the Ric Flair of his generation, but fuck that. Just get or watch the original. It is so superior to the knock off it is laughable. So you'll have to wait for Flair.

[gordi]

So, extrapolating:

 

 

Oh hell yeah, Ric Flair is totally Parmigiano Reggiano!

 

[elliott]

So, extrapolating:

 

 

Oh hell yeah, Ric Flair is totally Parmigiano Reggiano!

 

 

 

Definitely. It was inevitable.

 

[elliott]

30) John Cena - Morbier –

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=morbier+cheese&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiGod7m-cnbAhXnHzQIHTjtC8AQ_AUICygC&biw=956&bih=554

 

I went with Morbier for John Cena because it is a super famous and popular French cheese, but it is funky smelling washed rind cheese and some people will never be able to like cheeses like that. This creates a nice parallel to Cena’s crowd reaction over the years….but there’s something even better for that I’ll get to in a bit. Morbier is a semi-soft (like Cena’s punches maybe?) cow’s milk cheese with a citrusy, fruity, full flavored funk that isn’t as scary as you might think by the pungent smelling rind. Morbier is famous for the line of blue ash down the middle of the cheese (we’ll consider that unforgettable blue line Cena’s Jean shorts, giving the cheese, like the wrestler, its own unique aesthetic that makes it stand out) leading lots of people to think it is a blue cheese. It isn’t. That ash line is flavorless. The reason is exists is because in traditional (meaning old) cheese making, cheese was layered with ash to preserve it while the cheese makers were on their midday break. Morbier was traditionally made starting in the morning, then layering the ash on top, and then milk from the night time was added on top. This is what gave it that blue line down the middle. Legend has it, you could actually taste the difference between the morning and night milk. But sadly, it is now 2018 and with way better technology and more people, they’re pumping out wheels and the blue line of ash is just there because it is beautiful, not because of the separation denoting an afternoon off. However, this separation of morning and night milk separated by the line of blue ash (Cena’s Jean Shorts) makes for a perfect comparison to the crowd’s reactions to Cena over the years. Cena is a better wrestler than Morbier is cheese if I’m being honest about it.

 

 

29) El Hijo del Santo – Oma Von Trapp -

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=PowdW-TjFtG-0PEP-py1kAM&q=Oma+Von+Trapp+Cheese&oq=Oma+Von+Trapp+Cheese&gs_l=img.3..0i24k1.16053.18871.0.19467.20.6.0.2.2.0.920.1179.0j2j6-1.3.0....0...1c.1.64.img..15.5.1225...0j0i19k1j0i30i19k1.0.KERalwBbzxY

 

Another cheese from the Cellars at Jasper Hill in Vermont and another personal favorites mash-up that actually made more and more sense the more I considered it. Oma Von Trapp is called that because exactly that. It is made by the actual Von Trapp grandkids (or great grandkids) from the Sound of Music. Oma is German & Hungarian for “Grandmother” so it is literally a homage to their Grandmother. From the goddamn Sound of Music. Which is so awesome. So with that beautiful, seeped in history family connection, it made all the sense in the world to pick Oma to represent the most famous and successful second generation wrestler in history, El Hijo del Santo. Oma is a funky, beefy, stinky washed rind cheese and as I’ve said before, I think washed rinds make sense to compare to luchadores because they are funky and stinky and some people might never “get it” but if you do, you’re open to some of the finest cheeses in the entire world. In the realm of washed rind cheeses, Oma is a great introduction to washed rinds because it is funky and stinky smelling, but the cheese itself has a really rich sweetness to it in terms of flavor. Santo’s beautiful high flying and tendency to excel in wild bloody brawls makes him a good luchadore to get your feet wet with when you’re first learning the style instead of going straight to Negro Navarro or Blue Panther. El Hijo del Santo is a better wrestler than Oma is cheese, but El Hijo del Santo might be the greatest wrestler ever, so that’s a tough mountain for Oma to climb, even if the hills are alive.

 

 

28) Bobby Eaton - Valdeon –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=VIwdW_e2Iqet0PEPqbajuAM&q=valdeon+cheese&oq=valdeon+cheese&gs_l=img.3..0j0i30k1j0i8i30k1j0i24k1l5.21665.23324.0.23465.14.14.0.0.0.0.194.1597.7j7.14.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.14.1590...0i67k1j0i5i30k1.0.gh5BRMgQ1gU

 

Eaton was a weird one and gets a weird comparison. He’s universally beloved by us all, but during his career he was a hated heel, so I ended up going with a funky Spanish blue cheese that may be too much for some, but is truly beloved by aficionados. I also went with Valdeon because it is a mixture of cow and goat’s milk, which I think can be used to represent Eaton’s greater success in tag teams than as a singles star. He needed that extra milk. As an added benefit, Valdeon is wrapped and aged in Sycamore leaves, which we’ll consider Jim Cornette in this analogy. Bobby Eaton & Valdeon are a wrestler and cheese of similar quality.

 

 

27) Jun Akiyama – Saint Nectaire –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=bYwdW87wNM7F0PEPrfS0oA8&q=saint+nectaire+cheese&oq=Saint+Ne&gs_l=img.3.1.0l10.16603.17542.0.18748.8.6.0.0.0.0.165.576.5j1.6.0....0...1c.1.64.img..2.6.573...0i67k1.0.3NzgpFBUtWQ

 

I struggled a bit with Akiyama. I don’t really follow the modern product so when I think of Akiyama it islike 1996 Akiyama, which isn’t a fair representation of his career. I ended up going with washed rind cheeses for all of big All Japan guys, because washed rind cheeses are often super highly regarded in the cheese world and will kick you in the face/drop you on your head. So Saint Nectaire sort of fell into place for Akiyama based on that. I went with St. Nectaire because it is an often forgotten about washed rind French cheese. In the face of something like Epoisses, it is easy to get overshadowed, but St Nectaire is really great and stands up really well on its own. It has a grassy, mushroomy flavor and it will hit you hard if you’re not ready for it. Rich and creamy texture make this a washed rind that goes right to the brink of insanity but seems to hold itself back just a bit. St Nectaire is a better cheese than Akiyama is wrestler in my opinion, but I haven’t seen nearly enough of the real Akiyama for that to be totally fair.

 

 

26) Akira Taue - Alpha Tolman –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=gowdW-3pCKWs0PEP54eywAg&q=alpha+tolman+cheese&oq=alpha+tolman+cheese&gs_l=img.3..0.19175.22732.0.22918.19.12.0.7.7.0.193.1183.7j5.12.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.19.1377...0i67k1j0i8i30k1j0i24k1j0i10i24k1j0i30k1.0.90z81ZsCR_o

 

I picked thie American Alpine style cheese from the Cellars at Jasper Hill (again) in Vermont to represent Taue. True to his All Japan/NOAH cohorts, this is a washed rind cheese, but it is vastly different from the other washed rinds. First, it is a New World American cheese created in the style of an Old World cheese, while all of the other pillars are represented by centuries old defined Old World European Cheeses. I went this route because the sort of fandom that leads to Taue getting ranked #26 is a New World American Wrestling Fan way of thinking that didn’t correlate with fandom at the time. Another difference is Alpha Tolman is a larger more aged washed rind with a firm (as opposed to creamy, malleable and spreadable like the others) dense texture to signify Taue’s ability to age and adapt to age and become a compelling “old man worker.” Taue even worked like an old man in his younger (late 20s & early 30s years) days compared to his direct peers I always thought. This is also reflected by the longer aging process of Alpha Tolman. Anyway, in terms of flavor, this is a typical alpine style cheese with a rich nutty flavor. It is great for snaking on with charcuterie, olives, and wine or will make the most bomb ass Grilled Cheese Sandwich ever which also compares nicely to Taue’s ability to work singles & tag matches. Underrated cheese and an underrated wrestler. Akira Taue is a better wrestler than Alpha Tolman is cheese though.

 

 

25) Barry Windham - Provolone Mandarino –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=m4wdW9f9DPqr0PEPsou-4A4&q=provolone+mandarino&oq=Provolone+Mand&gs_l=img.3.1.0j0i24k1.13851.16342.0.18063.14.11.0.3.3.0.206.1202.7j3j1.11.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.14.1273...0i67k1j0i30k1j0i8i30k1j0i5i30k1.0.WTGRNE4qHkE

 

I went with Provolone, real Provolone, to represent Barry Windham. This isn’t your Subway plastic bullshit provolone. This is a giant bomb shaped wheel of cheese weighing upwards 60 pounds. This is sharp full flavored and fantastic. One of the taller wheels of cheese gets to represent Barry Windham. This is also one of the most versatile cheeses out there. Great to snack on with its sharp and almost spicy piquant flavor, but also great to cook with or shave over salads or soups. One of the most versatile cheeses ever was an easy pick for a guy like Barry Windham who at his peak could work tags, singles, face heel, brawls, world title matches, short sprints or long epic main events. Dude could do it all. Provolone Mandarino is a cheese you could do anything with. This is a cheese and wrestler of comparable quality, although Provolone ages much better than Barry Windham.

 

 

24) Steve Austin - Isle of Mull Cheddar –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=sYwdW6SqGtHA7gKRr4bwDw&q=Isle+of+Mull+cheddar&oq=Isle+of+Mull+cheddar&gs_l=img.3..0j0i24k1l4.22204.27716.0.27926.26.11.4.5.6.0.240.1460.3j5j2.10.0....0...1c.1.64.img..7.19.1705....0.J5iTnTjl6JE

 

An easy pick for me. The knee jerk reaction is to pick the most popular cheese in the world. You could do that. But I went another route. Austin’s given name is of course, Williams, which is probably Scottish, Irish, Welsh or English. So I went with this cheddar made on a small island off the coast of Scotland and is distributed by a company that sells English, Irish, Scottish and Welsh cheeses. So that might cover some bases. In terms of popularity, cheddars are some of the most popular cheeses in the world. So that makes for an easy pick. But Isle of Mull Cheddar is something entirely different from what you think of when you think of cheddar. It is a huge clothbound cheddar injected with Penicillium Roqueforit, the same modling agent used to make many blue cheeses. So this cheddar will develop natural blue veins as it ages. But the real reason I picked this cheese for Stone Cold, is the Cows used to produce this milk eat fermented grain from a nearby whiskey distillery which means this cheese actually has an alcohol content, much like Stone Cold Steve Austin. Isle of Mull Cheddar is a better cheese than Steve Austin is wrestler, but Steve Austin was more famous and drunker than Isle of Mull Cheddar.

 

 

23) Shinya Hashimoto - La Serena –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=zowdW77UPMTm9AOziraICw&q=La+Serena+CHeese&oq=La+Serena+CHeese&gs_l=img.3..0j0i24k1.15578.18173.0.18231.16.13.0.3.3.0.366.1513.10j1j1j1.13.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.16.1592...0i67k1j0i30k1j0i10i24k1.0.x9wsBrHFBxc

 

This Raw washed rind Spanish Sheep’s milk cheese is rich, fatty, funk and will kick you right in the teeth. Just like Shinya Hashimoto. La Serena sharp, full flavored, beefy and meaty while being creamy and spreadable texturally. Really not a cheese that you’ll get the first time out, but it sticks with you and you think about it and you’ll come back for more. Translates to Serene though, which is like the opposite of Shinya Hashimoto and the experience eating the cheese itself. Shinya Hashimoto is a better wrestler than La Serena is cheese, but both are underrated at large and two of my favorites.

 

 

22) Negro Casas - Sottocenere al Tartufo –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=6IwdW6t_ysTQ8Q_jhZH4Bw&q=sottocenere+cheese&oq=Sottoce&gs_l=img.3.2.0l2j0i30k1l2j0i5i30k1j0i30k1l2j0i24k1l3.15838.19096.0.22275.7.7.0.0.0.0.369.1042.3j3j0j1.7.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.7.1038...0i67k1.0.w1Yno-hPe2I

 

I’m not sure I’m doing either the wrestler or the cheese justice with this one. Sottocenere (meaning “Under the Ash”) is a raw Italian ash ripened Cow’s Milk Cheese aged in ashes of nutmeg, coriander, cinnamon, liquorice, cloves and fennel with small bits of Italian Black Truffles throughout. So there is a lot happening with this. But I am saying that is representative of Casas’ ability to work singles, tags, trios, title matches, brawls, comedy, spot fests, background roles, rudo, tecnico, young athletic guy, crusty veteran guy, scary maniac, borderline exotico and everything in between and be fucking amazing at fucking all of it. The 3-4 months Sottocenere is aged is representative of the 3-4 probable decades that Negro Casas spent as an amazing wrestler. Being a luchadore is a turn off for some, and a ton of people will never experience the joy of appreciating black truffles. But we’re the lucky ones. Negro Casas is a vastly better wrestler than Sottocenere is cheese, but Sottocenere is a super interesting cheese everyone should try.

 

 

21) William Regal - Cardo –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=956&bih=554&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=A40dW530FcvI0PEP5uy9oA4&q=Cardo+Cheese&oq=Cardo+Cheese&gs_l=img.3..0i24k1.28897.30580.0.31093.12.8.0.2.2.0.238.1076.2j4j1.7.0....0...1c.1.64.img..3.9.1123...0j0i67k1j0i10k1j0i10i24k1.0.0nzIwg_Lb4s

 

This English washed rind goat cheese from Somerset was one of the funkiest smelling cheeses I’ve ever seen the first time I smelled it, but the oozing velvety texture and super sweet flavor instantly made me fall in love. My favorite English cheese goes to my favorite English wrestler.

[elliott]

We've made it to the top 20!

 

 

20) Tatsumi Fujinami - Herve Mons Soumaintrain –

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=herve+mons+soumaintrain&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwixzZjCxczbAhVHs1QKHbGwB7sQ_AUIDCgD&biw=982&bih=559

 

I went with this French washed rind cheese similar to an epoisses to reprsent Tatsumi Fujinami. Herve Mons who was discussed earlier, is a technical master who can put the finishing touches on and raise any cheese out there to a higher level. Soumaintrain might be his masterpiece. It is funky, rich, decadent, creamy, everything you could want form a washed rind cheese. Like many super soft washed rind cheeses this will turn quickly when you’re not paying attention. So the lifespan of a great Soumaintrain wheel will be something like really great when its young only to somehow get better and better as it ripens until one day you’re thinking it is easily the best cheese you’ve ever had, and then overnight it turns, you try it again and its gone to the point where it leaves a bad taste for like a decade and almost makes you forget how fucking amazing it was at its peak. So like Tatsumi Fujinami. I would say Fujinami is probably a better wrestler than Soumaintrain is a cheese though.

 

 

19) Arn Anderson - Toma –

https://www.google.com/search?biw=982&bih=559&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=F-geW5DuHMqb0gLE4bSgCA&q=Point+Reyes+Toma&oq=Point+Reyes+Toma&gs_l=img.3..0l3j0i30k1l2j0i24k1l3.21451.23701.0.24205.16.12.0.4.4.0.204.1268.8j3j1.12.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.16.1376...0i8i30k1.0.W5pl2yblBf8

 

This cow’s milk cheese from Point Reyes Farmstead is a creamy gouda inspired cheese. The created the tag line “any table any time” and instructed the master cheesemakers to “make a cheese befitting that.” Meaning you could eat it to snack on or cook with and it would have appeal to anybody, beginners and veterans alike. I can’t imagine a better metaphor for Arn Anderson. Arn was a guy who could work singles and tags and have an entertaining match over and over again against literally everybody. Arn Anderson is a better wrestler than Toma is cheese, but this was such an easy pick to make.

 

 

18) Randy Savage – Wabash Cannonball –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=982&bih=559&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=MOgeW6vJM-fc0gKO5YaICg&q=Wabash+Cannonball+Cheese&oq=Wabash+Cannonball+Cheese&gs_l=img.3..0i24k1.14550.18034.0.18174.24.15.0.9.9.0.173.1332.12j3.15.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.24.1561...0j0i67k1j0i8i30k1.0.vHSjsukr83g

 

Another one from Capriole Farms, this deliciously perfect goat cheese from Indiana is named because it is shaped like a cannonball. Pretty simple. This comparison really comes from Savage being called, playing the part of, and probably just being a legit loose cannon for his entire career. Also, this is another favorite-favorite mash up for me. Randy Savage is absolutely one of my 10 favorite wrestlers ever and so is the Wabash Cannonball in terms of cheese.

 

 

17) Bret Hart – Saint Andre –

https://www.google.com/search?biw=982&bih=559&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=ROgeW6iADMuc0gKmv66YAg&q=Saint+Andre+Cheese&oq=Saint+Andre+Cheese&gs_l=img.3..0l2j0i24k1l8.18635.21408.0.21579.20.15.1.4.4.0.166.1527.10j5.15.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.20.1661...0i67k1j0i30k1j0i8i30k1.0.bwoaGQ78lfI

 

Mass produced, boring, fake artisan that doesn’t stand up to real worldwide competition. This French brie is famous for being famous and people like it only because it was the first brie they remember having just like a generation of smart fans grew up with Bret Hart vs Mr Perfect being the first “great” matches they saw as kids. Fuck that and fuck Saitn Andre. Bret Hart is a WAAAAAAAY better wrestler than Saint Andre is cheese. I just couldn’t figure out a good one for Bret Hart and trying to think critically about Bret Hart in this context is unappealing to me. So Fuck it. There’s number 17 out of the way.

 

 

16) Nick Bockwinkel – Beaufort –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=982&bih=559&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=WugeW7SyMuKb0wK7-qvIBA&q=Beaufort+Cheese&oq=Beaufort+Cheese&gs_l=img.3..0j0i8i30k1j0i24k1l8.26335.28861.0.28996.15.14.0.1.1.0.158.1256.11j3.14.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.15.1278...0i67k1j0i30k1.0.IhJeXJwVnp0

 

Nick was a tough one. I knew I wanted to pick something that was better when aged, but super aged cheeses often aren’t very interesting and complex in general I’ve found. Then I was like, oh yeah, Beaufort. This cheese has a rich history dating back to the height of the Roman Empire at least (it was already well known in those times, so presumably it dates back much further). This cheese is made in the French Alps and can be aged anywhere from 6 months to however long the cheese maker wants. Getting better and better with age. They are usually the oldest at 2 or 2 ½ years. Unlike many alpine cheeses, this cheese has a complexity and versatile depth of flavors from toasted nuts to tropical fruit notes. One of the best cheeses the world has ever known seems like a great pick for Nick Bockwinkel. This cheese and wrestler are of comprable quality.

 

 

15) Ricky Steamboat - Brillat Savarin –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=982&bih=559&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=eugeW-rNA4GI8AP3i43oDg&q=brillat+savarin+cheese&oq=Brillat+&gs_l=img.3.0.0i67k1j0l5j0i30k1l4.14003.14977.0.15980.8.7.0.1.1.0.164.663.6j1.7.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.8.687....0.WycYMiLN__E

 

The eternally beloved babyface Ricky Steamboat is represented by Brillat Savarin, a French triple cream cow’s milk cheese with rich elegant cream added to the milk to make it even more decadent. Preposterously decadent, this is always a crowd favorite. Just like Ricky Steamboat.

 

 

14) Vader - Buffalo Burrata -

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=982&bih=559&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=i-geW8a9A6aU0gLc6bmADQ&q=bufala+burrata&oq=Buffala+Bur&gs_l=img.3.1.0i8i30k1j0i10i24k1.17947.21635.0.23300.11.9.0.2.2.0.166.837.7j2.9.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.11.891...0j0i67k1j0i10k1j0i30k1j0i5i30k1j0i5i10i30k1.0.BmI55Eh3vKQ

 

I had to pick a Buffalo milk cheese for Vader. And a Buffalo Burrata was the best pick. Burrata is basically just fresh mozzarella cheese stuffed with cream. So imagine just the richest fattiest mozzarella you’ve ever had and that’s Buffalo Burrata. I can’t imagine anyone not liking it. The fattiness, the Water Buffalo aspect, and the mass appeal that would absolutely appeal to Americans, Mexicans, Japanese and Europeans made Vader and obvious pairing with Buffalo Burata. Vader is a better wrestler than Burrata is cheese.

 

13) Genichiro Tenryu - L’Amuse Gouda –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=982&bih=559&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=o-geW87hG4rh0gK1uY-AAg&q=l%27amuse+gouda&oq=L%27Amu&gs_l=img.3.0.0l4j0i30k1l6.19569.21117.0.22679.5.5.0.0.0.0.150.498.4j1.5.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.5.494....0.meEU3zUcS7E

 

This was an easy pick. L’Amuse Gouda is a traditional Dutch gouda with an amazingly rich flavor of burnt caramel and butterscotch. As it ages it becomes rich and richer and more over the top incredible with crunchy salty explosions throughout. Tenryu’s representative had to be the cheese that ages better than all the rest.

 

12) Eddie Guerrero - Langa La Tur –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=982&bih=559&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=vegeW9abBaqK0wKZoL2YDA&q=langa+la+tur+cheese&oq=Langa+La+Tur&gs_l=img.3.2.0j0i5i30k1j0i24k1.20135.21924.0.24385.12.12.0.0.0.0.141.1094.10j2.12.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.12.1091...0i67k1j0i10i30k1j0i30k1.0.nUyRkwcihxA

 

This wrestler and cheese have a lot in common. La Tur is an Italian Triple Cream made with cow, goat and sheep’s milk. It is extremely decadent and hugely popular. I can’t imagine a person trying La Tur and saying “Gross I hate that.” Flavor wise it is rich and complex and unique. Just like the work and thought Eddy put into his matches. The triple milks can be representative of Eddy’s ability to get over in US, Japan and Mexico or even his success in ECW, WCW and WWE. The complexity of the cheese can also be a metaphor to the depth of Eddy’s work and ability to work heel, face, comedy, serious, whatever. The only criticism of this cheese and wrestler is it doesn’t last very long and that sucks.

 

 

11) Jumbo Tsuruta - Gruyere –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=982&bih=559&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=1-geW5q7IYSh8APv7q2wBQ&q=gruyere+cheese&oq=Gruy&gs_l=img.3.0.0i67k1j0l7j0i67k1j0.14300.14918.0.16237.4.4.0.0.0.0.229.502.2j1j1.4.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.4.498....0.GwVzvL6k8wc

 

Another washed rind cheese for one of the greatest All Japan wrestlers. Gruyere is the biggest by far with wheels averaging 80 lbs. It is also extremely versatile. You can snack on it by itself, or use it to cook in probably the widest array of dishes of any cheese. Gruyere is basically the greatest swiss cheese there is. It is enormous, full flavored, rich, nuty, delicious. I feel like this represents Jumbo well because of his ability to work singles, tags, 70s, 80s, 90s, against dozens of different guys from his early days working the old world champion style to his later years as a world destroyer. Just like Jumbo, Gruyere is better and more interesting the later it gets in the aging process. Jumbo is a better wrestler than Gruyere is cheese, but it is close.

[Shrike02]

I can speak up for (#24) Mull, it is a great place to visit, and the cheese is fine too.

 

Gruyere is a great pick for Jumbo (#11). I watch Jumbo matches often - he'd still be in my top five in GWE - and I regularly, happily, eat gruyere cheese, it's a staple for me.

 

This thread is tremendous, I'm going to seek out a few of the more obscure cheeses I'd not heard of before.

[elliott]

Made it to the top 10!

 

10) Jerry Lawler - Camembert –

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=camembert+cheese&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjV-6_s-dvbAhVpsVQKHSG1CBsQ_AUICygC&biw=948&bih=538

 

For Jerry Lawler, I went with Camembert. One of the most Famous French Cheeses out there. It is soft, rich, creamy, spreadable cheese with a pungent odor that will absolutely stink up your fridge. Many Americans think Camembert has gone bad when it is absolutely perfect because of the stinky smell. This is clearly represented in the famous Andy Kaufman teaches Memphis about soap angle. But I had to go with Camembert because real Camembert must be made into 8oz wheels produced in Normandy. If it doesn’t come from Normandy, it isn’t real Camembert. If it ain’t in Memphis or on the Memphis loop, it ain’t Jerry Lawler. Jerry Lawler is a better wrestler than camembert is cheese, but it is close.

 

 

9) Toshiaki Kawada - Limburger –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=948&bih=538&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=M_wmW9KwHsjN0wKJspvQAw&q=Limburger+cheese&oq=Limburger+cheese&gs_l=img.3..0i67k1j0l5j0i67k1j0j0i30k1l2.20616.23911.0.24193.16.9.0.7.7.0.185.1099.2j7.9.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.16.1465....0.Gk28xb5OJ_Y

 

For Toshiaki Kawada, I went with this incredibly funky, sour, stinky German washed rind cheese that is famous for being probably the stinkiest/stiffest cheese in the world. It has a relatively sweet flavor, but it is difficult to get past the smell. Even someone like me who likes stinky cheeses, finds limburger to be too much. It is honestly the cheese of preference for old people who have lost many of their taste buds and are desperately clinging to any little bit of flavor they can find. Much like Kawada’s desperate need to beat Misawa. Fans of limburger are also often missing teeth like Kawada. Kawada is a better wrestler than Limburger is cheese, but I’m not a fan of either if I’m being honest.

 

 

8) Kenta Kobashi - Taleggio –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=948&bih=538&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=TvwmW6a3L-uA0wLU9oSIDg&q=taleggio+cheese&oq=taleggio+cheese&gs_l=img.3..0l6j0i30k1l4.24960.26017.0.26858.8.7.0.0.0.0.224.966.1j5j1.7.0....0...1c.1.64.img..3.5.792...0i7i30k1j0i7i5i30k1.0.4nGTqFSMsmY

 

The easiest washed rind cheese to get into goes to the easiest of the All Japan Pillars to “get.” Taleggio it the ultimate crowd pleaser. It is rich, creamy, sweet, smooth, buttery. Great to snack on and even better to cook with. Its approachability is the perfect representation for young Kobashi’s charisma and enthusiasm. If Taleggio is your first washed rind and the Kobashi/Kikuchi vs Can Ams is your first All Japan tag, you’ve got a shot. If you jump in with epoisses and 6/9/95, you’re going to be overwhelmed and maybe turned off. Even if you like it, you probably won’t get why you like it. Taleggio rules. But you don’t want it to get too old or else it will become too stiff and wooden and won’t be nearly as rich and creamy as the younger version. Much like Kenta Kobashi. Kenta Kobashi is a better wrestler than Taleggio is cheese. But it is close. Taleggio doesn’t try to do too much like Kobashi often does.

 

 

7) Rey Mysterio Jr. – Midnight Moon –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=948&bih=538&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=a_wmW83DGcGh_wTusI-YDQ&q=midnight+moon+cheese&oq=midnight&gs_l=img.3.0.0i67k1j0l2j0i67k1j0l5j0i67k1.16330.17452.0.18465.8.4.0.4.4.0.173.539.1j3.4.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.8.732....0.d9BGhrNRo28

 

Midnight Moon is a goat’s milk gouda made by Cypress Grove Creamery in California. This is one of the most popular cheeses in the country. It is a richy, brown buttery, beautifully textured sweet gouda. It doesn’t have the distinctive goaty tang to it that many goat cheeses do that freak out newcomers to the style. Midnight Moon is one of the most consistent cheeses you’ll find with 10,000s of wheels produced every year and every one fantastic. If you don’t like Midnight Moon, you might not like cheese. If you’ve found a reason to not like Rey Mysterio Jr, you might want to get a new hobby. Rey Jr is a better wrestler than Midnight Moon is cheese. But the consistency and likeability of both is too much for any other comparison.

 

 

6) Jushin Liger - Manchego –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=948&bih=538&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=f_wmW-GAH4H2_wT-84GgDg&q=manchego+cheese&oq=manchego+cheese&gs_l=img.3..0i67k1j0l9.16764.18867.0.19043.15.11.0.4.4.0.153.1109.8j3.11.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.15.1263....0.FmvkXuGWp30

 

I struggled with Liger and ended up with Spanish Manchego but there’s probably a better comparison out there. Manchego is good, but it isn’t Jushin Liger good. I mainly picked it because the Spanish sheeps’ milk cheese Manchego is a great introductory cheese to help introduce people to a world of new cheeses. Just like Jushin Liger helped introduce a generation of American fans to Japanese wrestling. Like Jushin Liger, a young manchego isn’t super different from an aged manchego in appearance and in flavor. This is just a consistently good cheese. Jushin Liger is a much better wrestler than Manchego is cheese but both are necessary in similar ways to the cheese lovers/”smart” wrestling fan journey.

 

 

5) Daniel Bryan - Cabot Clothbound Cheddar –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=948&bih=538&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=lPwmW-T4L8eF0wK9yLyIBw&q=cabot+clothbound+cheddar&oq=cabot+cloth&gs_l=img.3.1.0l2j0i5i30k1j0i24k1l6.18174.20419.0.22848.13.12.1.0.0.0.167.1312.4j8.12.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.13.1357...0i67k1j0i10i24k1.0.pJIc7FhfoIU

 

I went with another gem from the Cellars at Jasper Hill to represent Daniel Bryan. This actually works on a punch of different levels. First, Cabot Clothbound Cheddar is an American Original that takes its inspiration from traditional English Clothbound Cheddars, much like Daniel Bryan took his Japanese tapes and used them to mold himself into an amalgam of a bunch of different wrestlers and styles. Like Bryan’s reputation as a wrestler, Cabot Clothbound cheddar is unimpeachable in terms of its quality. It consistently wins “best American Cheddar” awards like Bryan wins WON awards. I like Cabot Clothbound more than I like Bryan, but Bryan probably has more depth and complexity to his work. But that says more about Bryan than it does about the cheese, which is fantastic.

 

 

4) Mitsuharu Misawa - Epossies –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=948&bih=538&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=rfwmW8ujMpL-0wKhwaQ4&q=epoisses+cheese&oq=epoi&gs_l=img.3.1.0l9j0i10k1.16459.16955.0.18738.4.4.0.0.0.0.160.494.1j3.4.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.4.491....0.iQDGs7y5sZs

 

For Misawa, the legendary Ace of All Japan, I picked the Ace of French washed rind cheeses. Epoisses is an extremely rich, funky cheese that is washed in Marc de Bourgogne, a famous aged pomace brandy. This allows for a salty, sweet, and spicy experience if you can get past the head dropping smell. Epoisses is the sort of cheese that fans of it will go to their grave saying it is the best cheese in the world. I prefer Epoisses to Misawa by far, but fans of Misawa who voted him 4^th all time , would say they are of similar quality.

 

 

3) Stan Hansen - Winnimere –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=948&bih=538&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=wvwmW72qDYfb_wSp0rPIDQ&q=winnimere+cheese&oq=winnim+cheese&gs_l=img.3.0.0i7i30k1.16431.17363.0.18338.6.6.0.0.0.0.168.769.1j5.6.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.6.765...0j0i7i5i30k1j0i8i7i30k1j0i8i30k1.0.PDuxTFAyfrI

 

For one of my favorites Stan Hansen, I picked one of my favorite cheeses, Winnimere from the Cellars at Jasper Hill (again). This cheese, like Rush Creek Reserve, is modeled after the famous Swiss cheese Vacherin Mont d’Or. So it is only made in winters when the cows are eating rich hay, which I’ll say is representative of Hansen working tours. He was a seasonal guy, even when he was a full timer. This cheese is rich, beefy, funky, and sweet all at once. One of the best cheeses ever made and my favorite of all of these washed rinds. This wrestler and cheese are of similar quality.

 

2) Terry Funk – Harbison –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=948&bih=538&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=1vwmW53wGoTc8APK_6hQ&q=harbison+cheese&oq=harbison+cheese&gs_l=img.3..0j0i24k1l8.18686.20882.0.21183.8.8.0.0.0.0.182.910.5j3.8.0....0...1c.1.64.img..1.7.810...0i7i30k1.0.h7of30wEmYQ

 

My favorite wrestler gets probably my favorite cheese, or the one I always default too. Another one from the Cellars at Jasper Hill, Harbison is becoming one of America’s most beloved cheeses. This soft ripened cheese wrapped in spruce bark has a richly luscious texture that is borderline liquid at times and tastes like a savory vanilla ice cream with chunks of smokey bacon inside. Truly one of the best cheeses in the world.

 

1) Ric Flair – Parmigiano Reggiano –

 

https://www.google.com/search?biw=948&bih=538&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=QP0mW464Acre0gKXy7vIAw&q=parmigiano+reggiano+wheel&oq=parmigiano+reggiano+wheel&gs_l=img.3..0l2j0i8i30k1j0i24k1l7.2202.2647.0.3127.5.3.0.0.0.0.223.443.0j2j1.3.0....0...1c.1.64.img..2.3.441...0i30k1.0.pdw5j8Kc11o

 

This could only be this. Of course Ric Flair is Parmigiano Reggiano or “Parm” for short. One of the oldest cheeses in the world with a history dating back 1000s of years, Parm is known as “The King of Cheeses.” It is made using a tried and true formula with each wheel undergoing rigorous inspection to insure each wheel is perfect, much like “The RIc Flair Formula.” But really, this works because the mountain of great Ric Flair matches makes for a great comparison to the most widely used and produced cheese in history. It is only made in 7 Regions in Northern Italy, but it touches all the corners of the globe. Much like The World Champion was based out of little old Charlotte NC. Parm, like Ric Flair also is a great carrier and has the ability to make any average meal or wrestle seem better than they are. This could be nothing else. Ric Flair and Parm are of similar quality.

 

Thanks for everyone who read all this and indulged me on this journey of combining two of my favorite things.

[El-P]

Made it to the top 10!

 

10) Jerry Lawler - Camembert –

 

Camenbert is a fucking awful cheese, it gives the name to "Stinking french cheese". The cheese for people who hate cheese. Way overrated. Like Jerry Lawler. So it's fitting.

 

6) Jushin Liger - Manchego –

 

No shit ! Manchego rules !

[El-P]

13) Genichiro Tenryu - L’Amuse Gouda –

 

 

11) Jumbo Tsuruta - Gruyere –

 

I think you have to be Dutch to find any taste in Gouda. I dunno. Dutch cheese are tasteless to me.

 

Tsuruta as Gruyere, I say YES ! Goes along in so many places.

[El-P]

No Feta ? Summer is coming and feta is the greatest summer cheese to me. Ahh, those greek salads...

 

I would have added Dil peyniri, the white-rubber like Turkish Cheese. For a tasteless, annoying worker probably.

 

Amazing thread.

[gordi]

 

 

 

6) Jushin Liger

 

 

I struggled with Liger and ended up with Spanish Manchego but there’s probably a better comparison out there.

 

 

 

 

I have never tried it (nor have I ever tried Manchego), but just based on the name and description:

 

https://www.cheese.com/good-thunder/

 

Enjoyed this thread so much! Great work.

[goodhelmet]

This is the most bourgeois thing I have ever read about wrestling.

[elliott]

 

Made it to the top 10!

 

10) Jerry Lawler - Camembert –

 

Camenbert is a fucking awful cheese, it gives the name to "Stinking french cheese". The cheese for people who hate cheese. Way overrated. Like Jerry Lawler. So it's fitting.

 

 

Couldn't disagree more. Camembert rules and "Stinky French Cheese" is basically the best type of cheese. What cheese should be. Just like Jerry Lawler

 

 

 

13) Genichiro Tenryu - L’Amuse Gouda –

 

 

11) Jumbo Tsuruta - Gruyere –

 

I think you have to be Dutch to find any taste in Gouda. I dunno. Dutch cheese are tasteless to me.

 

Tsuruta as Gruyere, I say YES ! Goes along in so many places.

 

 

Man, aged Dutch Gouda is some of the most flavorful stuff I can imagine. The young, creamy goudas I totally agree with you. They are super bland and boring. Much like young Tenryu. The aged ones though. Holy crap. A 2 year aged L'Amuse Gouda is one of the most strikingly flavorful cheeses out there. Super rich, butterscotchy and almost carmelized.

 

One other thing that strengthens the Jumbo-Gruyere comparison that I didn't think of until just now...the wheels at least 70lbs (31 kilos) and are enormous. Some might say Jumbo Sized.

 

No Feta ? Summer is coming and feta is the greatest summer cheese to me. Ahh, those greek salads...

 

I would have added Dil peyniri, the white-rubber like Turkish Cheese. For a tasteless, annoying worker probably.

 

Amazing thread.

 

I honestly just blanked on doing a feta for someone. Not the biggest fan of fetas to be fair. Unless they're goat fetas. Goat feta is the bomb. Specifically French Chevretine. I'd probably pick someone who is primarily a tag wrestler for a feta though. It's not something that I would ever want to eat by itself, but cooking with or salads or wraps it is a good option for sure. Maybe Feta is Tsuyoshi Kikuchi because it is a fan favorite. My initial thought was that we could call Feta Mima Shimoda as an El-P tribute pick. But Shimoda was such a great heel, it's tough to go with a fan favorite like Feta for a dastardly heel.

[elliott]

This is the most bourgeois thing I have ever read about wrestling.

 

You loved it.

 

I'm just doing my part to help move PWO away from that "Pretentious Wrestling Fans Website" stigma before the relaunch.

[El-P]

I probably never ate the right Gouda, indeed. Thanks for the references !

 

Goat feta is the bomb. Specifically French Chevretine. I'd probably pick someone who is primarily a tag wrestler for a feta though. It's not something that I would ever want to eat by itself, but cooking with or salads or wraps it is a good option for sure. Maybe Feta is Tsuyoshi Kikuchi because it is a fan favorite. My initial thought was that we could call Feta Mima Shimoda as an El-P tribute pick. But Shimoda was such a great heel, it's tough to go with a fan favorite like Feta for a dastardly heel.

 

Totally agree. Damn, those greek salads in the Cyclades Islands with fresh feta and tomatoes and nothing but olive oil. The simplest, best stuff ever. I would never get tired of eating this. Plus, grilled feta with bell peppers was driving me insane. Memories...

 

Feta Mima Shimoda would have suited me perfectly, that's just awesome.

 

You're the official CheeseMaster of the board. Kinda like Kevin Sullivan, only with cheese.

[Boss Rock]

This was quite the fun read.

[goodhelmet]

I saw this on reddit. I thought it was appropriate here.