Parties

I thought about this the other day and wondered if WWE has ever had a kayfabe 30 day rule. It will never be brought up, because HHH.

Dylan on Twitter called Del Rio-Kalisto the WWE MOTYTD. I liked the Rumble and New Day/Usos-Ziggler from SD more, but it was solid stuff that deserves a less distracted rewatch. Contextually I need a match to have more heat than that to consider it great, but they worked hard and exceeded their booking/time slot. Agree that Mauro calling Quebrada con Hilos is not what Vince had in mind when he heard that prank Mayweather-Buffett PBP.

Mauro's calling the pre-show match and JBL's burying him. That's what happens when you get the flu on Vince's watch.

They've never really known what to do with their Feb PPV in the modern era. It always ends up being an awkward cluster, but in prior years they had good Chamber matches to offset the booking. Really lackluster card: A foregone conclusion of a main event that will probably be a really good match with zero heat coming in or going out. New Day relegated to an Edge-Christian interview segment, because plugging the Attitude Era dick joke comedy show is more important than your hottest act. Kalisto-Del Rio for what, the fourth or fifth time in two months? 2/3 Falls match for your #2 title on the pre-show is something. A women's division that's actually really good but still somehow not that over, even with Banks rising, the good Rumble build, and Brie being more relevant than ever. Meaningless Owens win leading to Taker or bust at Mania. (Taker, mind you, is said to be working a part-timer who's not on the main roster, which may end up being the most exciting news out of this show. Tease for a hasty Cena return?) The Wyatts being "built up" by beating a bunch of giants who always lose. Styles-Jericho for the third time in three weeks. No Outcasts, Sandow, Goldust, Usos, Swagger, Barrett, Henry, Neville, Titus, Breeze, or Ryder. Heel Lawler is killing it on the pre-show right now: wack that he's not going to be on the PPV.

RAW is death towards everyone right now. They've even kept Styles as a primarily Smackdown act right now, just to keep him away from the painful three-hour caravan of shame. This might be a case of me showing a certain smark bias, but it seems like you'd genuinely have a better chance of selling merch and getting over in NXT right now than the average guy does on on the main roster. With regard to "making a new Rey", I think people sometimes underplay how much the success of Rey/Angle/Edge/Eddie in '02-'07 was based on SD being on syndicated TV. If you went to a lot of bars/restaurants/businesses on a Thursday/Friday night, they'd be playing Smackdown on TV during it's UPN/CW run. Now that it's all cable, I never see it anywhere.

I am attending one and possibly both of the NYC shows, and Riddle is one of the most intriguing guys on the show. I've seen Thatcher and Galloway live enough to know what I'm getting, but Riddle is something new, esp. paired against Thatcher. I assume that WWE is taking him to Orlando ASAP if he's already getting title matches and a singles against Hero.

You might have dropped a few comical one liners but really you didn't critique much about Osprey in-ring except his striking which are never really put over as strong to begin with the only strike he does that has any heat is the turnbuckle head tucked super kick that always looks devastating. Most of the time in his matches his strikes are used to get momentum rolling and half the time are no sold anyway so I'd say they work with his weakness in a way that plays in to your opinion of him so that's hardly a complaint if, his strikes looked weak and were put over as death sure but they aren't. Otherwise I can accept that you think he looks soft that's your opinion and maybe he does but Ricky Morton made a legendary career from looking soft and selling. If your strikes look terrible and non-threatening, why do them? It becomes merely a "rev up" (no pun intended) to flashier stuff. This would be more forgivable if his flying wasn't so acrobatically choreographed. I've said this in discussion of many other matches, but flying where you're doing Cirque de Soleil gestures and landing on your feet from the top rope just doesn't seem devastating or in any way logical. Give me Akira Taue awkwardly landing like a sandbag on Kawada's head over this. In great lucha for instance, or even a lot of strong Japanese matches, guys hit dives with the look of crushing their opponent. It helps if you have a good base. I personally find Ospreay's stuff too cooperative and too anemic. Nothing about him feels like a killer. Ricky Morton was an accomplished mat worker with great energy. Soft is not at all how he's ever come off to me. You can sell and be vulnerable, but in Morton's selling he conveys power: the will to overcome a terrible beating. He was also 1000x better at selling than Ospreay is. To use him as a comparison only further exhibits Ospreay's shortcomings as this type of babyface. One thing I'll add (and this is not to say that you need a particular look or body to be a great worker): Ospreay's look is a real shortcoming. I'm sorry, but the guy looks like the third strongest Help Desk technician in your office. I'd say he looks like Mike Von Erich, but Mike was actually more intimidating. He's terribly awkward on camera and on mic. His fans seem to overlook all of this because he does jazzy flying and because people want to believe that any nerd can be a credible worker post-Danielson. Which is a real misunderstanding of Danielson's charisma, talent and credibility. Here's my review of Ospreay-Skuril from my own 2016 thread: But again, I say all of this with a degree of apathy. I can give him the business here and still say that I hope Ospreay continues on and becomes a big star. I hope he improves and think he can. And anyone who likes what he's doing should enjoy it wholeheartedly. With all sincerity, I say more power to you.

We're like twenty-two posts into this and no one's said it yet, so why not: I expect it this to be really awesome. The one major thing that the network and company-at-large is lacking right now boils down to "fun" event-type programming, esp. something that breaks the confines of repetitive, hastily thrown together RAW-style PPVs. It's why I was a massive fan of their July 4th show in Japan. Done right this could really take on the spectacle of stuff like Battlebowl, or a much better worked version of WM4/The Wrestling Classic/early King of the Ring/etc.

Yeah, that star rating sounds right, and Tequilita's fattitude was the highlight.

Absolutely fantastic episode. What an insane week when you consider that the migrations of Hogan, Flair, Vader, and Luger were all peripheral news that in another week could have been the top story. Doing two hours on the Watts story/WCW shakeup was great, and honestly I could have heard two hours more as it's an amazing piece of history. Hearing Watts' audio adds so much to the context as it's that much more of an indictment to really listen to it coming from him, and get the weird complexity and contradictions at play. And of course usage of Newman to close out the show was inspired as well.

Added #18) Team Tremendous vs. Premier Athlete Brand (EVOLVE 54, 1/23) I’ve watched this match three times because I kept getting interrupted during it. Carr and Barry remain fantastic: such a fun act that feel unlike anything else on the indies right now. Nese continues to look unimpressive, and the PAB dissension angle felt sloppy, even if Konley will be booked as the breakout star going forward. Tremendous were the story here and really excelled, looking better even than they did during their EVOLVE 53 match. This was almost a squash as Carr in particular looked like a beast dismantling his opponents, and Barry’s flight off the ropes was likewise joyous in a way that recalls Mikey Whipwreck at his most agile. Added: #23) Matt Riddle vs. Fred Yehi (EVOLVE 54, 1/23) My initial writeup is that Yehi looks too strong throwing Riddle, as you have your Legit Shoot selling for Worked Shoot Pro Wrestler as if shot out of a cannon. But re-watching portions of this a second time, Yehi’s really entertaining and I’d rather watch him pop and lock suplexes than see Riddle do plodding pseudo-grappling. That said, Riddle’s comeback is well done and by the finish this feels like genuinely good American shoot style in the same way that I can enjoy Dons Frye or Nakaya Nelson in Japanese promotions. Added #17) Tommaso Ciampa vs. Ethan Page (EVOLVE 54, 1/23) EVOLVE is pretty amazing right now: even the matches between guys I don’t like are good. This was a slugfest war as you have Page continuing to work his falsely passive babyface gimmick, while Ciampa is a guy who just got his ass kicked by Samoa Joe over on NXT and now aspires to be Samoa Joe. Much of this is Ciampa suplexing Page onto guardrails and ropes, and applying headlocks that look like chokes. This has one glaring miss in which they do a heavily cooperative spot where they’re both on the top ropes and Ciampa does a pretty lame fallaway slam by lifting Page onto his shoulders. This spot and variations on it always take forever to set up, are glaringly telegraphed, and always end up looking like shit anyway because both guys are understandably trying to not get killed on a dangerous top rope headdrop. The finish of this was a badass series of flying knees that made for the best Ciampa outing I’ve seen, and the first time he’s looked to me like an EVOLVE-caliber guy. Added: #4) Zach Sabre, Jr./Sami Callahan vs. Drew Gulak/TJ Perkins (EVOLVE 54, 1/23) Sami-TJP opening to this is so fun. Perkins is a surprisingly great addition to the company as he’s a stylistic contrast and everyone else being so different from him makes his dynamo flying really stand out. Wrestling is a game of embellishment, and the way TJP’s stuff seems exceptional here is a great example of how you can still in 2016 condition your audience to watch a slowed-down matwork-and-striking product so that your sporadic high flyer really matters. The matwork here in turn is awesome, as Perkins and Sabre are fantastic escaping in and out of leglocks, Gulak is outright trying to tear apart Sabre’s knee, and Callahan works his controlled frenzy gimmick by doing amateur chain wrestling the way a shark would attempt it in the high seas. The stuff with Callahan kicking Riddle in the head just because he felt like it was awesome. Loved Sabre working this like a strong ace as it was a moment where his size and gawkiness didn’t deter him. TJP going for Romero’s stupid spider-in-the-ropes pose and getting punched out of it by Sabre was great. There’s a moment in the middle of this where Gulak breaks up what would have been a suplex off the top rope from Sabre to Perkins. Something about the way he did it made me think, “That’s what Fuchi or Jumbo would have done in a great 90s All Japan tag.” What’s shocking about this match is that after a while it really seems as good as a good 90s All Japan tag. Some of the late breakups of pins here are excellent stuff that you’re gonna see other indie workers rip off in the years to come. I will say that the final exchange here between Sami and Perkins is just a little overwrought, but when you consider how many great moving parts there were right to the end of this, you can forgive them for going just a little bit over the top in the last couple moves. Great stuff that anyone and everyone should watch. Added #13) Peter Kassa vs. Tracy Williams (EVOLVE 54, 1/23) I’m becoming to EVOLVE what Meltzer is to NJ: every match is better than the last. This was a black tights battle of young lions who they’re clearly trying to book into top spots down the road. Kassa as 2016 Billy Jack Haynes continues to be really awesome. Williams’ “pure sports build” video was hit and miss, but I am amazed by this Brooklyn guy who looks like he should be a hipster barber or serving microbrew pints at the nearest watering hole is managing to become a really good worker. This was a cool story of point-counterpoint effectively told, as they kept deflecting one another’s big offense. It’s effective not only in justifying over the top moves, but in making each guy seem intelligent in ring. Good finish as well playing into a story of fatigue setting in. There was a very natural face-heel dynamic here too. I thought they’d cast Williams as the heroic upstart for longer than they did, but he easily comes across as a prima donna here, while Kassa is an affable strongman fighter who never speaks, lives in the woods, and uses a piece of tree bark as his daily soap.

The best heel in WWE right now is Eva Marie. She genuinely get on the nerves of her territory's fans, yet is undeniably a star with all the right components. She manages to be extremely disliked while conversely behaving as if she is liked. She's a social media sensation posting "positive", upbeat videos that are often viewed by most wrestling fans as shallow and condescending. She's the anti-Bailey, the anti-Asuka, and the anti-Banks. I would almost compare her to the prime of Justin Credible before Heyman overexposed him, as his genuine heat was conditional on being booked as a winner who people hated. Eva Marie's heat comes not so much in-ring, but from getting (both genuinely in the media and as part of her character) a Kardashian treatment. Those who dislike her resent that she gets so much attention just for being really, really, ridiculously good looking. I also think gossip columnist Adam Rose could have gotten real heat too, but they would have had to have inserted him into some major storylines as the spoiler who breaks up beloved teams, causes well-liked faces to lose important matches, sets good acts up to fail or be jumped, etc. "Sweet Smell of Success"-style rat coward is a great wrestling character. To Bierschwale's point, to be a heel in 2016, people have to think you're disingenuous. They have to believe that you think you're above wrestling, and thus above the fans. We often here talk about Miz being a great heel, which is a testament to his promos given that he by most accounts loves wrestling and has a good attitude about his life and work. Jericho slowly becoming a heel because Dancing with the Stars and Fozzy went to his head is a watered-down version of awesome Nick Bockwinkel promos, but they're governed by the same principles.

Mini Hator/Tequilita vs. Chamaco Gurrola/Mini Difunto (Monterrey, 1/31) Tequilita is one of those slow fat guys who I actually enjoy because they’re slow. I surprisingly kinda enjoy Ryota Hama for the same reason: there’s a delayed inevitability to his offense. One weird side note based on a pop-up ad in this: it’s amazing that Monterrey wrestling and the Super Bowl play on the same channel in Mexico. I’m sure there’s a better explanation, but that seems like the World Cup airing on POP TV. The heated Hator-Defunto exchange 2/3rds of the way through this is where it’s at. Mask ripping and Irish Whipping a guy the full length of an entrance ramp. DIfunto trying to hack Hator’s legs off with a low running dropkick was crazy. I didn’t love all of this, as there were some listless moments, but the final deathblow is remarkable and must be seen to be believed.

Everyone should sincerely enjoy what they enjoy, but to my mind Ospreay is the biggest goober in wrestling right now. I really have nothing against the guy, but his offense couldn't break a condom and he's the kind of dude who Blackjack Mulligan would have stabbed in the hand with a fork early and often. If you think he's a better worker than Roman Reigns, go pet your exotic fish collection.

Nooooooooooo. This is what I get for watching matches on mute. To be fair, I referred to actual Tamina as Tamina too. I just also referred to Naomi as Tamina. I saw that Muneco match on Youtube and got excited, but the first couple minutes seemed wack. Is it good?

In contrast, I will say that Banks-Naomi was the best match on the show. As in better than Jericho-Styles. I actually liked the opening tag more as well, as I enjoyed the faces' dynamic and Adam Rose's scumminess. Simple is a good word for it, as it was maybe the simplest episode of Smackdown that I've ever seen. That they couldn't wait even one week longer to pull the trigger on Styles-Jericho II shows how thirsty this company is right now.

Chris Jericho/AJ Styles vs. Curtis Axel/Adam Rose (Smackdown, 2/11) Styles dropkicking Axel’s face off was fantastic, and the story here of the faces trying to one-up each other was really fun in the way the heels capitalized on it. Rose is downright underrated as your skeezy heroin chic gossip columnist. “Desperate Daily Mail contributor” is a perfect WWE gimmick for this moment in history. The story here was really well told, and I maintain my theory that modern-day Jericho is a smart worker who’s really good at putting together matches, even though his body betrays him through a series of botches almost every time. He’s kind of like Raven in that he knows exactly what to do and then executes it poorly. But here I would say he actually looked quite sharp flying around off the ropes, as him and Slater have a well-timed springboard spot and the whole thing comes together nicely. Again: if you hate RAW, start watching Smackdown. It’s a completely different company. Added: #20) Sasha Banks vs. Naomi (Smackdown, 2/11) Did someone not tell Mauro that you aren’t supposed to do play-by-play as a WWE announcer? I can’t believe how significant he made everything seem here, as it took a solid-if-unmemorable match and made it hot fire. Lynch was terrible on commentary: I almost can’t recall someone seeming so unprepared to do it, with the long pauses and repeatedly saying “OK, alright, so”. It got so awkward after the third or fourth time that the announcers tried to help her out that I just muted the rest of the match. But I was impressed at the agility of the women in the ring and in Sasha’s ability to guide Naomi around the ring. Banks takes a brutal back bump on the apron here. That was some Shawn Michaels onto a casket at Mind Games stuff. Naomi’s series of high kicks here was really fun, and the finish of this with the Banks-Tamina interaction and Banks Statement was great. It’s telling that on SD, the distraction finishes actually add to the match rather than detract. Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles (Smackdown, 2/11) Is WWE some fairgrounds indie that only books like ten people and then has the guys in the opener work each other again in the main event? Are we lucky that we didn’t get the Ascension and Tamina facing off in a battle royal at the end of this show? I liked the early cutoffs in this as they fought back-and-forth for control. Styles had good flashes here and it was well-paced, though him doing Reigns’ finisher as a transition move was interesting. In truth I was bored by the end of this, and the wrong guy won. Jericho didn't have the stamina for double duty here and clearly botches a Styles Clash counter. Wouldn’t even say I liked this as much as their tag earlier in the show.

Danke. I had no idea that he's had an accomplished run as a Dr. Tom trainee who's done WWE tryouts/dark matches. He even played Adam Rose's bunny at one point. Definitely a guy to watch.

Astral/Electrico vs. Demus 3:16/Pequeno Olimpico (CMLL, 2/5) Yay, minis! While this isn’t particularly excellent, somehow the first taped minis match of the year always makes me feel like wrestling is alive and well and officially underway. They’re like the Mexican Punxitawny Phils of this great sport. Astral-Olimpico starts things off, and they’re both competently boring. Business picks up when Demus tags in, starts punching Astral in the ear, biting his forehead, then doing tiny bodybuilding poses to the delight of the crowd. Astral’s a weird guy to watch in that I can’t recall ever seeing a mini who was so clearly on the gas. He’s got Del Rio’s physique and bacne for days despite being five feet tall. One of Demus’ chief offensive maneuvers here is trying to tweak Astral’s nipple off of his chest. He fails, presumably because nipples gain strength and the ability to heal faster when you’re on the gas. I also really liked the 2nd fall exchange between Electrico and Olimpico. It was simple, but this is a week when I’ve been watching wrestling with an eye for smart, safe work. These guys worked smooth chain stuff that managed to look cool while seeming like stuff you could healthily do until you’re 60. This built well in the second half as they turned the heat up and had enough time to really wail on each other with chops and dives. And to give them credit, the technicos really have do good flying here. Dr. Cerebro/Califan vs. Maximo/Rey Hechicero (AULL, 2/6) You only get nine minutes of this, but the pairing is too intriguing for me to not cover it here. I’ll add that Estrellas del Ring is a vital Youtube account right now: whoever their camera operator is does an awesome job with the handheld stuff. Unfortunate that it all gets so clipped down, but you still get some great Hechicero dominance of Califan here with innovative power bombs and tosses out of the ring, a good Maximo dive, and not one but two particularly vicious Hechicero wheelbarrows. We’re denied the Cerebro-Hechicero interactions you want out of this, but hopefully it happens somewhere down the road. Timmy Lou Retton vs. Jaxson James (WVCW, aired 2/13) You really see EVOLVE’s growing offense here as this is two southern indie guys doing fifteen minutes of surprisingly good, stiff matwork in a high school gym. Basically a Southern indie Drew Galloway working a Southern indie Big E, if Big E played up his amateur wrestling and powerlifting background more. The focus on legwork grounding Retton was well done, as was James’ very impressive overhead belly-to-belly, getting the massive Retton up and over. The babyface comeback is cool too as a standing moonsault looks a lot better from a three hundred pound guy than it does from Kota Ibushi. By the end James is pretty openly emulating Hero and Cesaro, but this was well done. The New Breed vs. The Russians (WVCW, aired 2/13) I’m really impressed that a West Virginia indie is doing this good of a USSR gimmick in 2016. Their manager is named Boris Petrov and is wearing a winter hat and coat indoors at ringside. Jack Miller of the New Breed has a good corkscrew armbar here, but the match otherwise sucked until the very end, which is about 20 seconds of fun chaos.

All of this is tremendous. The Cibernetico is gold. Navarro as a '91 guy is really intriguing, and the suspension of disbelief is reduced by Chicago being such a haven for lucha over the years. Somehow the two things that made me smile the most were calling a supershow "Marquee Moon" (to say nothing of the other show names) and Boris Zhukov tapping to Shamrock's ankle lock in a TV squash.

Sam Adonis/Rampage Brown vs. James Mason/Dean Allmark (ASW UK, 2/7) Fun match in front of a seemingly young, raucous crowd for whom Adonis’ “Born in the USA” is a heel anthem. Starts with Mason-Rampage, and the bald Brown accusing bald Mason of pulling his hair. It’s pretty fun to see classic heel-face tag tropes get over so big with a crowd of kids and families. Stuff like a heel offering a handshake, or babyface Allmark doing a ton of arm drags, or “En-Gland!” chants (in response to Adonis’ “USA, #1!” hollering) seem huge here. Not enough Rampage in this as he’s the best of the four, but what you do get is strong, including the greatest Rock Bottom in history. Adonis actually did well too, as he can work while still playing flabby punk coward. He's got like, Bobby Eaton body. Good finish as it breaks out into a Tornado style of both teams accidentally hitting their offense on each other and some good bumps. Nothing reinventing the wheel here, but a well-played cut of the old tune.

It's not that he should sell it so much as it's a particularly business-exposing moment on a show comprised entirely of business-exposing moments. It was just interesting to see someone who just lost the belt climb into a rental car and drive for 90 mins in search of gas station food. It's a fascinating show in that it drops the veil of how much they drive, whereas I think a lot of casual fans think all these guys fly everywhere they go on a luxury jet while Rich Brennan pours them Cristal.

To Grimmas' point, the Reverse Battle Royal is sort of the embodiment of Russoism, as simultaneous mockery of wrestling itself that makes fifteen or twenty guys look dumb all at once. And a testament to TNA's painfully oblivious pursuits of originality, in the same way that somebody at one time had to be the first person to get swine flu. Scrubs like Sonjay Dutt publicly consider it to be the worst match of their careers, which is really saying something. I just watched the one from 2007, and it's actually surprisingly decent. 2007 TNA has a surprising amount of guys who look like they could have been reborn as beloved stars in NXT right now. Their roster had some of the same mojo, even in guys like Sabin and Kaz who you'd think would've sucked at that time. I also forgot that halfway through the match, once you have 8-10 guys remaining, it just becomes a regular battle royal where you then start throwing guys out of the ring they've worked so hard to enter. But that because that group had to wait until that halfway point, the guys who'd made it into the ring would have to stand there not attacking each other. And that it then became a straight-up one-on-one match once you got down to two guys. All of which was just a way of establishing the seeding for a tournament using all the same guys that was to begin soon after on Impact. Amazing. Still, Feast or Fired is much dumber in a lot of ways. And if you're going all time "Worst Gimmick", I feel like you need some kind of elaborately stupid prop or ring setup.

It's unfortunate that they did that Ambrose-Owens LMS for no reason at the Rumble. I mean the reason was that they had absolutely no other meaningful matches booked, but my point is that both guys currently seem to be standing out in the cold for Mania, and if they'd instead done that very same Rumble match at Cowboys Stadium, it would have gotten over huge and maybe even felt like a medium-sized transitional generation moment. I'm tired of hearing myself be so negative about this show's prospects, but it almost can't be overstated how often WWE has done potentially big matches at the wrong moment in the last five years just to fill up time, squandering later opportunities.

Man, I am loving Ride Along. The New Day going to Anna's Taqueria was mind-blowing. as was Xavier openly saying "Fuck this show" when his Playstation got knocked over. Ziggler and Miz were two boring middle-30s guys, but I enjoyed their self-awareness about it. Episode two with Truth, Renee, and Summer was fascinating. Summer came off dumber than I want to believe she is, but maybe she's one of those hard-work dedicated people who's also just kind of shallow in the moment? Renee housing a box of Entenmann's donut holes felt appropriately Canadian. And Truth being a soft-spoken chill guy who loves his wife and has to indulge a lot of gentle ribbing and fart jokes sounds about right. The Sheamus-Barrett car was revealing in that Sheamus came off as a dullard who'll wear a bad gray Polo and doesn't care that he just lost the world title, so long as he gets his protein bar. Which is sort of a perfect synopsis of what you'd expect this talented but inarticulate bruiser who keeps injuring people to be. Barrett was a pretty funny guy who repeats his jokes and at this point should just transition into being a high-end announcer or manager for the next 20 years. I would love a Mauro-Lawler-Barrett team on SD. His condescending Irish accent was solid gold.