Parties

Out of curiosity, who are you referring to here? Most of the top guys of today (Cena, Owens, Styles, Rollins, Ambrose, Orton, Lesnar) or recent past (Austin, Rock, HHH, Foley) don't much seem like Bruno to me. I guess you could say there's some of him in Goldberg, maybe Batista, and maybe a bit in Reigns. But if you were going for a "strongman embodying bravado and optimism" appealing in particular to certain demographics, I'd think you'd be pushing someone like Big E or even Bray to the top. Watts is a pretty incredible example of how muddy the waters of prejudice and tolerance can be. He will support a business owner's right to segregate in one breath, and rationalize it by declaring Ernie Ladd one of his closest friends in the next. That is in some ways the story that many white Americans tell themselves: "I'm not racist, but I reserve the right to be racist if and when I wanna be." Watts chastised the series "Roots" as "bullshit", because he believes that the shipping of slaves from Africa to America was the greatest opportunity afforded to the black race. These are the lies some tell themselves to avoid history's bill collectors. I could almost shrug at some of what Watts said in that infamous Keller interview if he'd brushed it all into the (still completely horrific and false) concept that "I should have the right to serve who I wanna serve: it's my business, my investment." It's awful and rightly against the law, but at least that type of bigotry follows a through-line for someone who is ignorant but well-intentioned, or at least oblivious to what they're actually proposing. But if your role model in that claim is Lester Maddox - as it was for Watts - then I'm done trying to give you the benefit of the doubt just because you booked the Dibiase-Murdoch double turn.

I've always found it pretty incredible that while Trump only follows something like 43 people on his Twitter feed, Vince is one of them. As the old saying goes: it takes a roast beef-scarfing narcissist to RT another roast beef-scarfing narcissist. Will be interesting to see how NBC Universal/Comcast covers the story. So far its completely absent fron MSNBC.com, but that may just be on account of it being a terrible website that's largely relocated its reporting to Twitter (where Linda was trending as the top US story this afternoon). NBC News' only mention seems to be within a top story titled "Trump's Cabinet Picks Have a Combined Wealth of $14.5B. How Did They All Make Their Money?", in which Linda is the last of the team listed:

Nothing on here compares to Styles-Reigns or Styles-Cena, but that may have been the best overall main roster show since the Rumble. The low-stakes shows in WWE really are the best lately: that this was so much better than Survivor Series, Summerslam, and even Mania is pretty crazy. Also enjoying the new move toward PPVs that are shorter than RAW. If AJ wasn’t already WOTY, he is now. The 450 through the table could be the most amazing spot I’ve seen this year.

Watching Miz/Ziggler, I did think, "This'll probably be a divisive match where some love it and some really don't." They did a great job doing violent ladder spots grounded on the mat and floor, treating it like a sharp piece of metal that you'd use the way one would have used a steel cage in the 80s. Imagine winning your first title by tripping your opponent through a table. To be fair, it was a powerbomb on the floor, but that was still some banana peel-lookin' stuff.

In hindsight, it’s weird that the three acts who were actively pushed in 2011 WWE were The Miz, R-Truth, and Michael Cole.

A dominant Orton/Wyatt team holding the belts until Mania - with Alpha chasing and being the ones who finally beat them - sounds awesome in an 80s/90s Japan kind of way, but one can't likely picture Vince "wasting" pet projects Orton and Wyatt's WM appearances on a Smackdown tag match.

Even though they were “victims of their own success” in terms of being called up to WWE, recent luchadors have had pretty bad luck in recent years. Mistico hasn’t reclaimed his throne since his Sin Cara run. One could say that his doom began with his two-month undefeated streak ending unceremoniously in a TV match with Christian, two weeks before being abruptly taken out of MITB and served with a 30-day wellness violation. Del Rio obviously had an awful go at it his second time around, but you can’t really pin it on a match as much a bad 2016 in total. La Sombra losing his mask and coming to America has probably been a net negative to date. The thing about “losing one match that in hindsight seems pivotal” is that it’s often more just the first public sign that the worker has fallen out of favor with the booker. Strummer’s example in the linked 2011 thread is a good one: Steamboat losing to Honky and never getting revenge seems weird now, but he was on the outs with Vince by that point anyway. The right answer to this is probably Nash beating Goldberg, if only to serve as our daily reminder that Nash is an immense loser.

It’s unfair to copy-paste passages of the current issue of the Observer for free online, but in the interest of addressing this, here’s everything in his review of the 5-on-5 that could remotely be construed as a positive of match quality: “Jericho got a huge pop when he tagged in.” “Rollins vs. Ambrose had good action.” “Whatever you want to say negative about Shane being in there and some of his stuff not looking good, he is amazing for a non full-time wrestler at his age in the sense he can keep up and he does crazy stunts and lives to tell about them.” In the same write-up, he criticizes Owens for looking fat, Shane for weak-yet-also-somehow-dangerous punches (“Shane’s punches were potatoing people left and right in that match, including bloodying Chris Jericho’s nose”), Reigns for accidentally punching Styles when he wasn’t supposed to, Styles for awkwardly standing around and watching his teammates get pinned rather than trying to save them, Strowman for recklessly throwing Styles out of the ring, Shane again for more terrible, dangerous offense, and the final two-on-two teams for having “lost the crowd a little” during the climax. To say nothing of how on the podcast with Alvarez he talked about how the match was way too long, had little excitement aside from the Shield team-up, and would have bored and disappointed the crowd if it had gone on last. I rarely if ever read his match reviews anymore, but yes: this one’s incredibly weird and the rating makes no sense, almost to the point of me wondering if he mistakenly typed one snowflake too many and actually meant to give it 3 and 1/2. But then he’d be subtly acknowledging that the tag team jobbers looked better that night than Jericho and Rollins, and we can’t have that. Also worth noting that the 5-on-5 won the subscriber vote for MOTN: perhaps Dave just likes to have consensus with his readership on this stuff.

Randy Couture was a top guy in UFC well into his forties. Sure, and I naturally thought of guys like him, Hendo, and Hershell Walker in writing that whole spiel. Fans liked those stories, and Couture was the biggest success of them. But there's a difference between Couture winning the heavyweight title at 43 (the same age, for instance, that Undertaker won his last world title in 2008) and Goldberg still being presented as Goldberg at 50. It would also be different if Goldberg was the exception to the rule (as Couture and Henderson were). If WWE had a thriving new generation who were being booked strong... or if Goldberg (or even Lesnar) was being booked against a newer act to give the younger guy the rub... you get it. It's a broken record conversation at this point, but that's the issue: it's been the same problem in WWE for fifteen years. Even independent of WWE's mindet, the booking problems and apathy towards their current crop is so entrenched in the company and fans alike that you have Meltzer saying that WWE "finally" has a hot babyface who at long last is worth getting behind.

I think that some fans have trouble reckoning with these aging dinosaur issues in pro wrestling in part because they view everyone through the lens of how they perceived them whenever they started watching, or whenever they saw the dinosaur in their prime. To an extent I can understand how Goldberg would feel fresh after 13 years. But to me he looks like a gray 50-year old guy in a bad denim jacket. Still a badass, but not the guy who should be on top. Could he be the badass trainer/manager who cuts the promo on behalf of a protégé? Absolutely. But to suggest that someone like Royce Gracie (49) or Kimo (48) should be at the top of UFC (even if they were capable) is crazy, as it would make the sport look tired and stagnant. Consider the following hypothetical. The year is 1993. After years as the dominant act in the company, then 39 year old Hulk Hogan (the same age Brock is now) having just reclaimed the title at Wrestlemania 9 from Yokozuna (then 27) loses the belt in a competitive squash at King of the Ring. Is his opponent that same young monster Yoko? Or up-and-coming ace Bret Hart (then considered something of a late bloomer at age 36)? No. In this hypothetical, Hulk is vanquished by a 50-year old star of the past who still has something left in the tank. Who was Goldbergs age or even a bit younger in 1993 that would have fit this description? Billy Graham, Terry Funk, and Harley Race (then around 49-50, just like Goldberg). Dusty Rhodes, Buddy Roberts, Sonny King, Ronnie Garvin, and Vince himself (all age 48). Tony Garea or Jerry Brisco (then 47), Bill Eadie (46), Dick Murdoch (45), or Sgt. Slaughter (45). All terrific (or outright stellar) acts in their day. But the idea of one of those guys - even a big star like Graham, Harley, Dusty or Slaughter - squashing Hogan in 1993 sounds excessively short-sighted if not outright ridiculous. Let alone the idea that a la Brock, someone like Hulk should have even been the company ace in 93. To have guys like that on top even if it gets a pop that night, as it probably would have feels too recessive. I say all of this as someone who can enjoy the story they told and appreciate it as something different. It was a good work-around of some limitations. But the problem isnt one match or one big-show main event. Its that the company has been stuck in the past for 15 years, and that too many fans indulge it. The problem isnt at all that the match should have been longer or more competitive: its that youre now booking your biggest matches of the year around which old star signs to be a playable character in that years video game. It may be sensible marketing - by the same logic of doing a gimmick-heavy show right before the holidays, but creatively it's for me one more reason to disengage, not spend money or watch the weekly TV, and only catch the big stuff sporadically.

I’ve said this in the past, but Survivor Series should be the annual “season finale” of the WWE year. Blow off big post-Mania angles, do the grudge matches that conclude feuds, start planting seeds for what the Rumble/start of the following year will entail. Then in December do a more light-hearted Slamboree show, or something a la what Night of Champions started as. Like, if you must do a lame duck December show, at least make it a fun one with some offbeat pairings and matches, a la what New Japan tends to do at the end of the year in the weeks prior to the Dome. In some ways the idea of traditional Survivor matches don’t always vibe with that concept as you’d end up culminating like five or six different storylines in one match, but this is why having more factions, stables, and de facto teams/requisite Japan-style tag partners helps. The new recurrence of the horrendous Tables, Ladders, and Chairs concept as every year’s final PPV sucks from a creative standpoint, and feels like one of those inane marketing-driven moves where they’ve realized they sell 12% more action figure accessories annually if the show with all the useless plunder is held right before the holidays.

Actually, now that I think about it, the best current options to come in and squash Brock like that would probably be Nakamura or Joe. But again, would an arena - even a favorable crowd like Toronto - actually buy it the way they buy Goldberg?

In terms of other even semi-realistic guys who could have gotten the rub from doing that to Brock: Big Cass - They’re not ready to pull the trigger on him, and he isn’t a good enough worker or over enough act yet from what I’ve seen. Big E - Wishful thinking on my part: the odds of him ever even getting a strong singles run are less than 50/50 at this point. Strowman – Probably the most likely candidate of all the current generation guys to get this type of rub from Vince, but he's too lumbering in his style to beat Brock like that. Cesaro/Rusev/Sheamus – Fantasy booking of damaged midcarders at this point. Reigns – Most deserving option: ridiculous that they never really rematched Mania 31, but smarks would hate Reigns going over in three moves. Jason Jordan – Not for another 2 years, if ever, by which point Dominant Brock would be even more tiresome than he is now. Cena – Probably Brock’s all-time best opponent, but it’d be meaningless now. Wyatt – I’d like it, but no fans would buy him squashing Lesnar that fast, and I'd rather see them have a real match. Undertaker – Done to death, awful matches, no one needs the rub less. This is what happens when you push one new guy every 3-5 years.

I'll take "Goldberg's Shoulder Was More Severely Injured Than Reported" with a dash of "Delayed Punishment for Lesnar's Bad PED Press". I'm more interested in talking about what a HHH-style finish that was to RAW vs. SD. Heel Orton/Motorhead Guitarist give Smackdown its meaningless, bi-annual token win. Roman blows it again. Seth and Dean get to look cool even in defeat.

Fakeplastictrees' list actually makes a lot of sense by WWE's mindset, but wow does that look dire on paper. Cena-Styles has been great, but if they're going to it again, they should keep them apart until the Rumble and do some kind of double-elimination spot. I agree that this is the year to Cena-Taker if they can. It will never mean more, feels surprisingly fresh, and it's one of the biggest marquee matches left on the table. Cena can cut the promos that will take it from "Why is this happening?" to "This still makes no sense, but I'm interested." If he must, Taker can get a win in the safest match possible, and Cena can carry him to something passable. There's been talk that Orton will actually be put in this position, which is fine too as I don't care at all about him or Undertaker and would be fine with the two of them not wasting space elsewhere. Balor is said to be back in February. Trying to think as much like the McMahons as possible, I'll say: Undertaker vs. John Cena (Career vs. Career / Loser Retires, with Cena going over and Taker being greeted at journey’s end by some combo of Hunter, Shawn, Vince.) Brock Lesnar vs. Shane McMahon (I ponder drinking bleach for over a half hour.) Shaq vs. Big Show (Vince cackles for six glorious minutes.) WWE Universal Title: Seth Rollins © vs. Roman Reigns (Rage-based Reigns heel turn teased but not delivered, a la Piper-Hart at WM8.) I could also see Ambrose or even HHH added to this to make it a Triple Threat. Hunter’s somewhere on this card, but I can’t say where and it probably won’t be a Goldberg match. WWE World Title: AJ Styles © vs. Finn Balor (Some backdoor technicality gets Balor onto SD, either by switching brands outright, winning the Rumble and “shocking the world” by choosing Styles as his opponent, or even just winning a #1 contender’s match on the February PPV. Unless someone from RAW comes over, I don’t see any feasible opponents for Styles, unless they’re lame enough to do Styles-Orton.) Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho (Team breaks up mid-Rumble.) Charlotte © vs. Bayley Gallows & Anderson © vs. Enzo & Cass Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt Plus the now-annual Rock appearance, and the Orlando return of the Hulkster, brother. SMH.

Too early to comment on the validity one way or the other, but Tom Lawlor - who has spent months if not years on co-hosted F4W shows slamming any fighter who fails a drug test and asserting that USADA should be if anything tougher on them - just got popped for a potential out-of-competition violation. Will be interesting if he publicly joins the growing Tainted Supplement outcry.

It could have just been that he's said he thinks Finkel the GOAT ring announcer? Which I suppose would mean that he thinks none of them should be in. But yes, my memory of it was that he's cited Finkel's ousting as a particularly egregious example of Vince putting cosmetics ahead of talent.

Does anyone know how long Mean Gene has been a nominee without getting in? In terms of the way Dave and most US voters think, it really surprises me that he wouldn't have made it yet. Hasn't Meltzer called him the greatest or most important non-wrestling performer in history, or something to that effect? Meltzer has also said that he thinks Finkel should be in too, but Okerlund is the one that feels like the biggest shoo-in, unless he's just getting nothing from foreign voters or American contemporaries who have some beef with him.

You know, this whole time he's been gone, I've honestly been pretty apathetic about it, in thinking about putting his health first and remembering that he went on a high note to a great career. But somehow, seeing this goofy but incredibly awesome series is the thing that's made me go back and think of what a huge loss it is for him to not be working anymore. Even if he just ends up doing more announcing and stuff like this, I hope they recognize what a great voice and face he can be for the company going forward. It's also really weird that genuinely funny people work in high-level production roles for WWE, and are creating laugh-out-loud segments that then never see TV or typically even the Network. Plus you factor in how everyone in this (Cole, JBL, Renee, Regal, Mauro, even guys like Ziggler and Ryder) were all better than they get to be on the main roster, and it's kind of incredible to see this take shape.

In a potential sign that I am now booking American indie cards in my sleep or under hypnosis, Togo has been announced to work EVOLVE 71 in Melrose, Massachusetts in December. The email on it proclaims him "unretired", and I almost can't think of a more amazing addition to their roster if he's coming in (or to other North American promotions) with any regularity. Between this and the next ROH card in Lowell getting Dragon Lee-Kamataichi, the former-factory industrious-turned-meth-addicted towns of greater Boston have become a hotbed of Japanese wrestling. The dream of Segunda Caida is alive and well in Kerouac Country.

Johnny Gargano/Cody Rhodes vs. Drew Galloway/Chris Hero: A main event anywhere in the world, ladies and germs. Gargano gets the fond farewell treatment, but it felt anti-climactic. Hero is his usual mix of humor and brutality throughout, with perhaps a bit more comedy than usual. Chants of "Thanks for the pizza" for Cody as he hits big dives. Galloway is all crotch chops and dump truck throws, and it's fun to see him work with Rhodes here. I didn't love the home stretch of this as it was not so much a Texas Tornado match as four guys standing in the ring trading spots with too little structure. The crowd at times wondered why the ref wasn't more forceful (both teams were completely out to lunch on any sort of tagging or maintenance of the rules), but the match all told was good. If this is Gargano's last appearance, they should have done a real "brawl to end it all" with him and Galloway. This felt like EVOLVE had to suddenly return him to WWE in mint condition. The final segment felt a bit forced, but hey, they tried something, even if it rang too close to past Gabe booking tropes.

Matt Riddle vs TJP: What a reinvention year for Perkins. Gulak cuts a terrible promo first, asking the guys melodramatically where they were in the melee with Galloway and Dustin. Crowd jeers him for it, Riddle and Perkins both dismiss him, and the crowd cheers TJ leaving for RAW. Riddle is the best worker I know of in the world at this moment, at least until Hero's match in the main event. Their mat work was tremendous and shows how these are great opponents for one another, as Riddle sold a ton and conveyed the size vs. agility story very well. If Gulak/Dustin was too schmozzy, this was the right mix of swag from TJP and violence from Riddle. A great aspect of Riddle's character right now is that genetically he's the best dude on the show, but the knowledge of more veteran workers sometimes gets the best of him. The finish of this is absolutely incredible, telling two great stories at once. Riddle now has what, three or four singles matches that I'd put in the top 10-20 of this year? Then Stokely cut a promo where he quoted James Baldwin and put Perkins over huge. Great delivery from Hathaway that establishes him as a venerable voice of the company, after times wherein I'd found him to be kind of lame this year. Ricochet vs. Zack Sabre, Jr.: Sabre's heel turn continues, but I like that it's a slow burn, where he's more just cocky than outright dastardly. Whether I care for him much or not, a Ricochet match feels like a big deal and dude has the star quality It factor when seen live. They barely sold a thing, but you know what you're getting here. Comedy at the outset as they toyed with one another, but by the end it was near-falls aplenty. I really enjoyed the finish of this, as the game change shift in tide came via a pretty stunning aerial counter. Both guys were very over and building to a rematch down the road.

Tracy Williams vs. Chuck O'Neil: Williams is quite over with his hometown crowd, even if he hasn't impressed me since his big push kicked off. O'Neil is the least over of the three "new talents" thus far: his fake MMA look didn't connect as he doesn't have it on the mat or in striking. He's in fact pretty indie-tacular in his spots, and actually got booed for an old-school leap-onto-the-opponent's-back sleeper hold. Yehi makes a save at the end while wearing the Papa Hales Supermark t-shirt, so this gets six stars despite actually being pretty mediocre, and probably the worst match of the night. Drew Gulak vs Dustin: Match got better over time, but what a wack finish. At times it had positive similarities to 80s/early 90s WWF as Dustin was pretty broad here, and Gulak tied him up in old school crab holds and chops. I agree that Taylor is missing something in this character: I like that he's an old-school out-of-shape smug heel, but it's not clicking in the Heat department. He lacks the surreal anti-charisma of someone like Honky Tonk Man, who would be his parallel in some ways. Ethan Page vs David Starr: Comedy match with some very over topes halfway through. Page and Starr ("King of Taunts") started with shtick of arguing over who was more over, referencing Punk's two minute tap out, pectoral spots, and Starr tea-bagging Page to set the more heated section of the match into action. Felt very sports entertainment ready if this were 2000, and Starr hit a ton of big dives. Crowd really loved this: I've seen Page live four times this year and this felt like him in his element as a comedy-plus-finishers worker. Quite entertaining if only for how much the crowd enjoyed it, and Starr was the most over of the five new talents showcased. He seems poised to become a major player on the indies if they continue to book him, as he's so much what this crowd wanted as kind of a more agile cruiserweight ROH/American version of someone like Marty Skuril.

Tony Nese vs. Darby Allin: This was like a strong Crockett or Mid-Atlantic competitive squash where Allin got in hope spots and Nese looked a lot more confident than he did in the PAB. He has whatever it is that Gabe thinks his viewers want. Allin's quickly and immediately serving a much needed role on the idea of guy who takes a beating while making new stars look great, but who is also getting so over with the crowd that in time he can be pushed as well. Nese still seems off as a talker, but the action and hierarchy story told here was quite good. Fred Yehi vs Travis Gordon: Great Yehi performance as you get some crazy suplexes and big chops, plus his more comedic stuff, lunges for holds, and hollering. It's a sort of ravenous strong style (almost in the vein of Cavernario) that makes him one of my favorites this year. Gordon got over with the crowd by the end, as he had a lot of impressive flipping counters, cartwheels, roundhouse kicks, etc. Cool "clash of styles" finish as well.

In the merch row prior to tonight's EVOLVE show in Queens, Cody Rhodes is giving away tons of pizzas to the entering crowd. Kayfabe lives.