The Worst Gimmick Match Concept Ever

[Jimmy Redman]

To talk about something no one has in this thread, I do not get the "Ambulance" match and the stretcher match gimmicks. What is the point of them, apart from making the nhb concept unnecessarily contrived? Where, instead of being brutal with chairs and stuff, you just keep trying to gently wheel someone on a stretcher past the yellow line. Or try to throw them in the ambulance.

 

Disclaimer - I have only watched the stretcher matches in WWE in the last decade and a half. Brock-Show and Edge-Kane are the ones I remember the most. It is entirely possible that other promotions have held brilliant stretcher matches.

 

Shawn vs Batista Stretcher Match is actually really good, mainly because - as with most awful concepts - they largely ignored the stretcher and just had a street fight, and then just used it to have the finish at the end.

 

Anyway, my time has come.

 

Now, TNA is a goldmine of shitty stips. People have mentioned the reverse battle royal, Xscape Cage, Feast or Fired, but undoubtedly the absolute worst stipulation in the history of organised human society is the abomination that was...

 

The Knockouts Lockdown Lockbox Challenge!

 

Allow me to explain. In the words of Jeremy Borash at the time, "the rules are simple".

 

Tara (Victoria) was Knockouts Champ at the time and was technically defending the title in this match. There are four Lockboxes. One has the Knockouts Title. One has a title shot of your choosing, like MITB. One has Tara's pet spider that she brought to the ring at the time. One has an order to go to the ring and strip down to your bra and panties. Yes, this is a Russo match, how could you tell?

 

So there's an 8-man tag team match between the girls - Beautiful People & Daffney vs the babyfaces (Tara, Angelina, ODB and...someone else). Elimination rules, but whoever gets a pinfall gets a key to one of the boxes, and also has to leave the match along with whoever they pinned. So four girls get the four keys in the match, I'm pretty sure it was Tara, Angelina Love, Velvet and Daffney.

 

So the match ends, and then later on IN THE MAIN EVENT SEGMENT OF IMPACT they use the keys to open the boxes.

 

So Tara goes first and gets...her spider back. This is how she lost the Knockouts Championship of the World. She seems inordinately happy about this, because she loves her pet spider more than the title.

Angelina gets the title. This is how she - a babyface mind you - wins the Knockouts Championship of the World. By opening the right box by chance.

Velvet gets the title shot which at least furthers her feud with Angelina.

Daffney, of course, gets the order to strip. She eventually goes to the ring, reluctantly, but before she can strip Lacey Von Erich runs down and does her own striptease voluntarily. Because she's a slutty whore. Like all women amirite. This is how the show goes off the air.

 

To this day I hear the words "the rules are simple" and just lose it, because it takes me back to this show. Just so amazing on all of the Russorific, TNA levels.

[RCS1988]

My problem with the War Games match is the coin flip. It pretty much guarantees that the face team wins every time.

 

The 1991 war games at Wrestle War 91, the heels had the advantage and also won the match, but yeah the heels always won the coin flip, but for the most part the faces won the match every time.

[flyonthewall2983]

Would have been better if they just had guys from both teams come in at the same time.

[Phil Schneider]

I like scaffold matches, I imagine they come off way better live then on tape because they danger is really palatable. Dundee v. Dutch, Chicky Starr v. Invader 3, Dundee v. Koko and Greene v. Jarrett are all epic matches, and I like the R+R v. MX matches a lot. There have probably been more great scaffold matches then bad ones.

[fakeplastictrees]

The worse gimmick matches to me are the ones that do not deliver what is advertised. The matches that are gimmicks within gimmicks and those make the entire match laughable and pointless. A good example of this is the electrified cage match that happened at one of TNA's Slammiversary events. It was Team 3D vs. LAX and at one point in the match Homicide is thrown into the cage and the arena lights begin to flicker, a buzzing sound is heard over the arena's PA system, and Homicide does a weird gyrating on the cage. This of course lead to the crowd booing very loudly and an entire arena chanting 'Fire Russo'. The worse part of this is that a 'special' cage was built for this gimmick match and this gimmick cage was used throughout the entire show. So TNA, a company that was barely turning a profit at the time, spent money on a new cage- only to piss off the fans, not deliver on the gimmick, and embarrass the company yet again. I am sure there are others, but yes- the worse are the ones that do not deliver on the gimmick promised.

[topropepodcast]

The GAB '91 Capture the Flag Scaffold Match earns a special place in shitty gimmick match hell.

[UKWildcat]

I like scaffold matches, I imagine they come off way better live then on tape because they danger is really palatable. Dundee v. Dutch, Chicky Starr v. Invader 3, Dundee v. Koko and Greene v. Jarrett are all epic matches, and I like the R+R v. MX matches a lot. There have probably been more great scaffold matches then bad ones.

I'm glad you mentioned Dundee vs Dutch Mantel as well.

 

I haven't seen the Starr v Invader 3, but if you mention it along with the other three, I need to check it out

[bucky]

Chicky v. Invader 3 is awesome, and also feels like one of the most dangerously tall scaffolds I've seen used.

 

Does anyone have a date on that Dutch v. Dundee match? Or better yet, a link?

[Death From Above]

It's not that I don't think scaffold matches can be good. To be clear my issue with them is they are ludicrously dangerous and I think wrestling is lucky nothing horrible has ever happened in one.

 

 

The Knockouts Lockdown Lockbox Challenge!

 

Thank you for actually taking the time to explain this. TNA gimmicks with no explanation go over my head.

[UKWildcat]

Chicky v. Invader 3 is awesome, and also feels like one of the most dangerously tall scaffolds I've seen used.

Does anyone have a date on that Dutch v. Dundee match? Or better yet, a link?

i

 

I didn't see the video, but the date on the Memphis card is May 16, 1983. The finish involved the bullwhip.

 

I know there was a Dundee promo video floating out there that showed the finish

[ChuckScumm]

XPW once booked a Buck Naked match, where the object was to strip your opponent naked in the middle of the ring. Now obviously, two women willing to take part in such a match aren't going to be highly trained grapplers, but given that Rob Black was a pornographer, and both Lizzy Borden and Veronica Caine had a history in adult entertainment, the audience were clearly expecting some nudity.

 

The execution was terrible. Borden and Caine were both members of heel factions (the Black Army and the Enterprise), so the crowd ended up babyfacing the Black Army for interfering and helping try to strip Caine, despite them being massive heels in a previous segment. It got to the point where Borden was just about to strip Caine....and the lights went out. When they came back on, Caine had vanished. The Enterprise took credit for this to big heel heat....which was promptly wasted in the next match as Enterprise member Steve Rizzono jobbed to a man in a monkey suit (literally billed as "A monkey") in a comedy match. What they managed to do was annoy their entire audience, taking away any reason to trust XPW stipulations in the future, accidentally babyfaced their main heel faction and wasted any heel heat with a throwaway 3 minute match in the next segment.

I would say that their "Raw Sewage" match is light-years worse.

[Goodear]

That Wargames was even mentioned in this thread makes me sick. What is wrong with you people?

[RCS1988]

That Wargames was even mentioned in this thread makes me sick. What is wrong with you people?

 

It's not the match, it's the rules of the match that are stupid.

[Goodear]

If you say so, although you can make several arguments that that things people are complaining about is what makes the match work.

 

The odd man rush allows having the 'hero makes the save' moment 3 or 4 times during the course of a match up which is virtually always a big pop. The heels being the bad guys get to take advantage of being up a guy for two minutes at a time. Its very much an ebb and flow that gets the crowd pumped to see Road Warrior Hawk chomp at the bit to get in there and murder someone while they are squashing Animal's head up against the fence. It's like the Royal Rumble count down spot expect knowing who is coming and that Rick Steiner is going to wreck someone in 10...9...8... Yeah, the heels always win the coin toss, having the faces be up a dude all match would be backward.

 

The match not being able to end until the teams are all in creates a sense of jeopardy for someone like Brian Pillman who gets in the match first and no matter what, his punishment will not end until the crescendo of the Match Beyond. So in theory, he could get maimed and torn apart and build sympathy without having to worry about 'winning and losing' so much as surviving.

[Grimmas]

 

That Wargames was even mentioned in this thread makes me sick. What is wrong with you people?

 

It's not the match, it's the rules of the match that are stupid.

 

Yeah, I am pretty sure War Games is one of the greatest gimmick match concepts of all-time, not the worst.

 

The rules are essentially a way to make a constant southern tag style match, but with a cage. It's a thing of beauty.

[Scarlet-Left]

I actually liked the 'King of the Mountain' matches (those that I remember, anyway) and I love 'War Games', even though I appreciate how contrived it seems.

 

Gimmick matches that turn me off, but are redeemable; 'escape the cage', 'barbed wire', 'bra and panties', 'ambulance' and 'chairs' matches.

 

Gimmick matches that I cringed at or just can't stand; 'reverse battle royal', 'beat the clock', 'fulfil your fantasy' and 'shoot fight' matches.

 

As an aside (though it might not qualify as a gimmick match, perse); I despise any tag matches with three or more teams not performed under 'Texas tornado' rules. The WWE is especially guilty of this, and I hate it; where certain teams can spend almost the entirety of the match on the apron through no fault of their own.

[Jimmy Redman]

Beat the Clock I find frustrating.

 

I actually like the concept on paper. But the execution is often lacking, due to many things:

 

- When only one guy in each match is competing for the BTC challenge, and the other guy doesn't stall his ass off.

- When guys who are competing don't wrestle faster or act like they're in a hurry. Too often "urgency" looks like slowly rolling through Eddie/Dean reversals.

- When they set the pace too quickly and you end up with a bunch of 4 minute matches between guys who would normally go 13.

- When someone fails to beat the time, the buzzer goes off and the match just stops. Oh, OK.

 

There was actually one BTC I liked, it was on Smackdown during a time when Smackdown was spitting workrate fire, and they set the time at like 10 mins, so you basically just had a bunch of the usual good 10 min Smackdown matches.

[Grimmas]

Beat the Clock I find frustrating.

 

I actually like the concept on paper. But the execution is often lacking, due to many things:

 

- When only one guy in each match is competing for the BTC challenge, and the other guy doesn't stall his ass off.

- When guys who are competing don't wrestle faster or act like they're in a hurry. Too often "urgency" looks like slowly rolling through Eddie/Dean reversals.

- When they set the pace too quickly and you end up with a bunch of 4 minute matches between guys who would normally go 13.

- When someone fails to beat the time, the buzzer goes off and the match just stops. Oh, OK.

 

There was actually one BTC I liked, it was on Smackdown during a time when Smackdown was spitting workrate fire, and they set the time at like 10 mins, so you basically just had a bunch of the usual good 10 min Smackdown matches.

I think BTC would only work if both guys in the match were competing for the spot. If it's Reigns vs Goldust and only Reigns can win whatever they are trying to win, why is Goldust trying to run out the clock or win that badly?

[Jimmy Redman]

 

Beat the Clock I find frustrating.

 

I actually like the concept on paper. But the execution is often lacking, due to many things:

 

- When only one guy in each match is competing for the BTC challenge, and the other guy doesn't stall his ass off.

- When guys who are competing don't wrestle faster or act like they're in a hurry. Too often "urgency" looks like slowly rolling through Eddie/Dean reversals.

- When they set the pace too quickly and you end up with a bunch of 4 minute matches between guys who would normally go 13.

- When someone fails to beat the time, the buzzer goes off and the match just stops. Oh, OK.

 

There was actually one BTC I liked, it was on Smackdown during a time when Smackdown was spitting workrate fire, and they set the time at like 10 mins, so you basically just had a bunch of the usual good 10 min Smackdown matches.

I think BTC would only work if both guys in the match were competing for the spot. If it's Reigns vs Goldust and only Reigns can win whatever they are trying to win, why is Goldust trying to run out the clock or win that badly?

 

 

I don't mind it in theory. Again, in theory.

 

I think it was introduced like that - the first time I can think of it happening is in Jan 2005 when they had all of the guys in the Elimination Chamber do BTC to decide who got to come out last. In that case, they all had different opponents, and whoever happened to win their match the fastest, won. Honestly I don't mind that.

 

To me the incentive for the non-guy to win the match is firstly, to stick it to the other guy, but mainly because...it's a match. Why wouldn't you want to win? That's the same reason I hate it when the buzzer goes off and they stop wrestling and go to the back. Why? It's still a match! Why doesn't it count? If you accept the premise that there's no point in trying to win once the time goes, or if you're the other guy, then why do you want to win ANY match on TV that doesn't have tangible stakes involved?

 

One of my biggest peeves with the whole thing is that they don't properly articulate that at the end of the day it's still a match on Raw, and you should still want to win it either way, even if you can't win the BTC challenge.

 

The problem is that once the time goes, the air is let out of the match. But you need the timer there for drama. So...I don't know.

[Grimmas]

 

 

Beat the Clock I find frustrating.

 

I actually like the concept on paper. But the execution is often lacking, due to many things:

 

- When only one guy in each match is competing for the BTC challenge, and the other guy doesn't stall his ass off.

- When guys who are competing don't wrestle faster or act like they're in a hurry. Too often "urgency" looks like slowly rolling through Eddie/Dean reversals.

- When they set the pace too quickly and you end up with a bunch of 4 minute matches between guys who would normally go 13.

- When someone fails to beat the time, the buzzer goes off and the match just stops. Oh, OK.

 

There was actually one BTC I liked, it was on Smackdown during a time when Smackdown was spitting workrate fire, and they set the time at like 10 mins, so you basically just had a bunch of the usual good 10 min Smackdown matches.

I think BTC would only work if both guys in the match were competing for the spot. If it's Reigns vs Goldust and only Reigns can win whatever they are trying to win, why is Goldust trying to run out the clock or win that badly?

 

 

I don't mind it in theory. Again, in theory.

 

I think it was introduced like that - the first time I can think of it happening is in Jan 2005 when they had all of the guys in the Elimination Chamber do BTC to decide who got to come out last. In that case, they all had different opponents, and whoever happened to win their match the fastest, won. Honestly I don't mind that.

 

To me the incentive for the non-guy to win the match is firstly, to stick it to the other guy, but mainly because...it's a match. Why wouldn't you want to win? That's the same reason I hate it when the buzzer goes off and they stop wrestling and go to the back. Why? It's still a match! Why doesn't it count? If you accept the premise that there's no point in trying to win once the time goes, or if you're the other guy, then why do you want to win ANY match on TV that doesn't have tangible stakes involved?

 

One of my biggest peeves with the whole thing is that they don't properly articulate that at the end of the day it's still a match on Raw, and you should still want to win it either way, even if you can't win the BTC challenge.

 

The problem is that once the time goes, the air is let out of the match. But you need the timer there for drama. So...I don't know.

 

If they did the BTC with the six guys int he EC and the fastest time gets to go in last and if anyone lost they would be replaced that would be good.

 

Another reason I hate it is because it's so unfair. They are not all facing the same quality of opponent.

[flyonthewall2983]

This is as probably as good a place to say it but I've never had a problem with how the WWF approached cage matches, with regards to escaping as a way to win.

[Jimmy Redman]

 

 

 

Beat the Clock I find frustrating.

 

I actually like the concept on paper. But the execution is often lacking, due to many things:

 

- When only one guy in each match is competing for the BTC challenge, and the other guy doesn't stall his ass off.

- When guys who are competing don't wrestle faster or act like they're in a hurry. Too often "urgency" looks like slowly rolling through Eddie/Dean reversals.

- When they set the pace too quickly and you end up with a bunch of 4 minute matches between guys who would normally go 13.

- When someone fails to beat the time, the buzzer goes off and the match just stops. Oh, OK.

 

There was actually one BTC I liked, it was on Smackdown during a time when Smackdown was spitting workrate fire, and they set the time at like 10 mins, so you basically just had a bunch of the usual good 10 min Smackdown matches.

I think BTC would only work if both guys in the match were competing for the spot. If it's Reigns vs Goldust and only Reigns can win whatever they are trying to win, why is Goldust trying to run out the clock or win that badly?

 

 

I don't mind it in theory. Again, in theory.

 

I think it was introduced like that - the first time I can think of it happening is in Jan 2005 when they had all of the guys in the Elimination Chamber do BTC to decide who got to come out last. In that case, they all had different opponents, and whoever happened to win their match the fastest, won. Honestly I don't mind that.

 

To me the incentive for the non-guy to win the match is firstly, to stick it to the other guy, but mainly because...it's a match. Why wouldn't you want to win? That's the same reason I hate it when the buzzer goes off and they stop wrestling and go to the back. Why? It's still a match! Why doesn't it count? If you accept the premise that there's no point in trying to win once the time goes, or if you're the other guy, then why do you want to win ANY match on TV that doesn't have tangible stakes involved?

 

One of my biggest peeves with the whole thing is that they don't properly articulate that at the end of the day it's still a match on Raw, and you should still want to win it either way, even if you can't win the BTC challenge.

 

The problem is that once the time goes, the air is let out of the match. But you need the timer there for drama. So...I don't know.

 

If they did the BTC with the six guys int he EC and the fastest time gets to go in last and if anyone lost they would be replaced that would be good.

 

Another reason I hate it is because it's so unfair. They are not all facing the same quality of opponent.

 

 

Actually now that you mention it, that's exactly what happened:

 

Eric Bischoff reminds the audience of all the rules of the Elimination Chamber..

Eric Bischoff announces that all six participants will have one-on-one matches with unknown opponents tonight..

Eric Bischoff says the lenth of their matches will determine the order in which they enter the Chamber..

Eric Bichooff introduces the guest time keeper for the night ---- Christy Hemme!

Eric Bischoff says if any of the six participants lose, they will be replaced by the person who beat them!

 

That first part I had totally forgotten about too, and gives extra incentive to keep wrestling even if you don't beat the time.

 

Jesus, they got it right the first time, why have they screwed with it since then?

[RCS1988]

 

 

That Wargames was even mentioned in this thread makes me sick. What is wrong with you people?

 

It's not the match, it's the rules of the match that are stupid.

 

Yeah, I am pretty sure War Games is one of the greatest gimmick match concepts of all-time, not the worst.

 

The rules are essentially a way to make a constant southern tag style match, but with a cage. It's a thing of beauty.

 

 

The match is fine. the rules aren't though. I think they should have went with the first blood approach. The match ends when you get all of your opponents to bleed.

[Grimmas]

 

 

 

That Wargames was even mentioned in this thread makes me sick. What is wrong with you people?

 

It's not the match, it's the rules of the match that are stupid.

 

Yeah, I am pretty sure War Games is one of the greatest gimmick match concepts of all-time, not the worst.

 

The rules are essentially a way to make a constant southern tag style match, but with a cage. It's a thing of beauty.

 

 

The match is fine. the rules aren't though. I think they should have went with the first blood approach. The match ends when you get all of your opponents to bleed.

 

Yuck. Really?

 

First blood matches stink and imagine in the 80's how many accidental blood would had happened. You breath on Dusty and he bleeds.

 

How is bleeding better than giving up?

[Death From Above]

I think it's amazing we got this far with so little discussion of (Russo themed item) On A Pole.