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Hell in a Cell 2017


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So this is tonight. Nobody seems all that hyped up about it, for reasons obvious. I will be watching, because I am already paying for the Network, so it's not costing me anything extra. If this was a traditional PPV, I wouldn't touch this show with the proverbial ten foot pole. Also, I've been bedridden for the last couple of weeks with a brutal illness, so at least it's something to watch on television. It beats laying here praying for the cold embrace of sweet merciful death.

 

Maybe.

 

WWE Championship Match: Jinder Mahal © vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

 

I want this to be good, I really do. But I haven't seen anything out of Mahal yet which gives me any confidence in his ability to even be carried to a half-way decent match. On top of that, Nakamura has really been hit or miss so far in WWE, mostly miss. If this match is anything like their Summerslam match, I fear we are in for a stinker. Can't see Nakamura winning either, since they seem committed to the Mahal experiment. I predict lots of Singh Brothers hi-jinks.

 

Hell in a Cell Falls Count Anywhere Match: Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens

 

I can't stand Kevin Owens anymore. Having said that, I can't see him doing his ridiculous stalling/lie-down-and-take-a-break spots inside the Cell. He is capable of taking big, goofy bumps so this match is pretty much made for him. Shane is not a performer and has recently looked like he is about two steps away from a massive coronary, but he also takes big stupid bumps. This could have some train-wreck appeal, I guess. I don't know why they're doing this, aside from trying to make Owens into a monster heel. He sure is getting a massive push from the attack on Vince, so I guess they're trying to really make him into some sort of psycho or something.

 

I am also puzzled by the point of having a Falls Count Anywhere match inside Hell in a Cell. One gimmick isn't good enough for this match?

 

Hell in a Cell - Smackdown Tag Team Championships Match: The New Day © vs The Usos

 

This match is pretty much the only reason I am going to watch this show. I really don't like the New Day characters, but their work since arriving on Smackdown has been outstanding and this feud has been utterly amazing. Every time these two teams hook up, you're pretty much guaranteed a good match, and it's a safe bet this will be no exception. I love this feud.

 

WWE United States Championship Match: AJ Styles © Baron Corbin

 

Well, I guess this will be a test to see how great AJ Styles is. Baron Corbin has really shown me nothing since getting called up from NXT, I just don't like the guy. His character is goofy, his look is goofy and I find his work to be bland and uninspiring. I'd like to think AJ will be able to drag a decent match out of him, but he couldn't do that with Kevin Owens, and Owens is better than Corbin, so I'm not holding my breath. I hope this doesn't turn out to be another interminable angle like the Owens feud, or Wyatt/Balor over on Raw. If they want to put Corbin over, fine...do it. Please just don't drag it out.

 

Smackdown Women’s Championship Match: Natalya © vs Charlotte

 

I didn't mind these two working against each other in NXT with Ric and Bret in their corners, and the same when they did it on Raw. This rivalry is getting a little old, no matter how you repackage it. But their matches are usually inoffensive.

 

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

 

I guess this will be better than the Summerslam squash, at least. It also depends how motivated Orton is. If he wants to make Rusev look good, this could be just okay. If he isn't feeling motivated, then chinlock city, here we come.

 

Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

This new "I don't need a gimmick" gimmick of Ziggler is beyond annoying. His promos lately have been change-the-channel bad. Roode has been kind of bIeh since getting called up. In theory, these two could have a very good match, but I'm not sure they'll get the time or the creative opportunity. Logically, Roode should be going over here, so I expect a Ziggler win.

 

Pre-Show: Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin vs. The Hype Bros

 

I love Gable and Benjamin, and it looks like Ryder or both the Hype Bros might be turning heel, so I expect them to lose. My hope is for the Usos to win the titles back and move into a program with Gable & Benjamin, but who knows what they have planned.

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All-time wretched PPV on paper. Remember Nakamura vs AJ Styles in New Japan ? Yeah, I think it's time to drop the New Japan bomb here because now, they got Baron "Nothing Happening" (thanks Tony Schiavone) Corbin and That Indian Guy to work with. Anything from TNA was better for Styles. And Nak... well, that joke ain't very funny anymore.

Wait, here's a funny one : of the three, yeah THREE, Hell in a Cell matches (with zero storyline purpose), one is a Falls Count Anymore. Russoism alert. Who the fuck wants to watch Kevin Owens vs Shane O-Mac, no idea. The day The son of the owner gets seriously injured, despite all the crocodile tears incoming, he will get exactly what his stupidity and ego starved for. And zero sympathy. Hopefully for his sake, it won't be that time, yet again.

 

New Day I can't stand as a gimmick, but they are a really good team, so are the Usos, so I guess it's the cherry picking match of the night.

 

Charlotte had a MOTYC last year against Sasha, remember ? The Women's revolution is already way behind it seems...

 

The rest is just there. Ziggler as a gatekeeper is his best use I guess. Orton...zzzzZZZZzzzzzZZZZ put Lana back with Rusev, please.

 

With so low expectations, I guess it can only be better than it should. Then again, most of the matches have go-away heat, even for a WWE PPV. Yikes.

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You know, I was looking forward to this show until I opened this thread and came to my senses and realized what little this card has going for it.

 

I want Jinder vs Shinsuke to be decent, but their encounter at Summerslam was mediocre beyond belief. Nakamura isn't exactly a guy who can carry someone to a good match.

 

Owens vs Shane could be an intriguing overbooked car-wreck, but I expect it to play out like Shane's plodding HIAC match with Undertaker.

 

New Day vs Usos could be really fantastic.

 

Everything else looks forgettable.

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The lineup is close to trash. Tag Title HIAC should be good. Women's title very well could be. Adding Tye Dillinger to the US Title match is an upgrade. The main event may offer memorable stunts. But the build the entire way to this show has been awful save for the Vince angle. Best thing going for tonight is that when expectations are this low the show usually delivers. Then again, I said the same thing about Battleground and that was an all time bad PPV.

 

Let's do it!

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Man doing all of their high flying moves like the cage isn't really there might not be good for their health but it is showing some incredible and painful moves

 

Just cancel the rest of this PPV because nothing will compete with this. I mean Shane has to fall off the damn building to be this awesome

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Damn, I don't think those two teams are capable of having a bad match against each other. I generally don't like tornado style matches and especially matches with all sorts of garbage/plunder and brawling (well, I used to love that stuff back in ECW, but I've outgrown that) but those guys made it work. These teams have had so many different kind of good matches against each other, this really could be the feud of the year. I honestly don't see how any other match on this show is going to be able to top that.

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Added Tye Dillinger to the US Title match while makes sense storyline wise seems off. They must not think that Corbin can hang with Styles. It would be funny if Tye sneaks a title win

 

Yeah I have no problems with this addition. It means we could see Tye win, or it means Corbin could beat Tye for the title which keeps AJ strong. It's not like Dillinger being added to this match is going to make it worse.

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AJ vs. Corbin vs. Dillinger

 

This won't make any MOTY lists and may not even be among AJ's top 15-20 matches since joining the company, but it was an absolutely incredible performance that should be pointed to when making a case for him as one of the greatest of all time. Styles bumped all over the ring and floor, killing himself at every turn while supplying most of the impactful spots and near falls to turn a match that featured one of the company's poorest workers into a real highlight. Not a fan of Corbin's push being reignited here, but there's no denying this was a joy to watch. Just amazing.

 

***3/4

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Charlotte vs. Natalya - Natty doesn't really excel as a strong face or heel, and babyface Charlotte certainly doesn't feel right, but they more than made this match work. Strong, simple story around Charlotte's injured knee. I didn't even mind the finish as the chair shots were on point and looked really strong. This show is absolutely over-delivering.

 

***1/4

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