Jimmy Redman

Roman in asshole, not giving a shit mode is an improvement.

Eww.

My favourite thing about Roman is all of the double speak of "He rebelled against authority!" "He dared to challenge the system!" "He's a man of the people!" on TV when he's literally the opposite of all of those things in real life. Tonight is going to be brutal. I kind of wonder what would happen if they put Reigns vs Cena. I don't think he'd get cheered even vs Cena. Either people are forced to cheer for Cena as the lesser of two evils, or they get tossed out of the building like Cena vs Orton.

That was a million times better than Crews' NXT debut.

Crews is actually one of the few guys who seems like a better fit for the main roster. He's not really going anywhere in NXT. I don't mind this.

As a stats geek this is all VERY exciting.

That woman is magic.

So I'm watching the women's match for the third time today. Honestly I'd be hard pressed to find a moment in wrestling where I felt...as happy for a wrestler, as I did for Sasha and the superstar pop she got coming out here. I've felt the same happiness for the girls at every step of the way, particularly the NXT main events and standing Os and stuff, but I'm pretty sure from their perspective, nothing beats being appreciated like that by 100,000 people at Wrestlemania. It would have been the most validating moment so far, and will be until they do something even more ground breaking like main eventing a PPV or something. And I'm just so fucking happy for them. Also, every time I laugh at Becky's LOUD ASS "You alroight?" after the kick to the face. Get your John Cena ass spot calling under control Becky.

Plus I feel like some wrestler-specific discussion might come from certain interesting results. And some people have already said they'd carry on and keep it as an ongoing project, which if so I'd like to see happen in the threads.

OK I lied I'm totally watching Hunter's entrance again. WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE WEIRD ASS BALD MUTILATED ZOMBIES? WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY HAVE TO DO WITH HUNTER? I lost it when the Hunter skull mask appeared and you expect Hunter to be behind it and then BAM, STEPHANIE THE WITCH QUEEN OF THE NAZI ZOMBIES! I can't really hear what she's saying, but she's saying it so fantastically. Steph has one of the great heel voices. And then after all of this extra curricular bullshit, Hunter finally comes out...wearing nothing but his gear. I mean fuck, if there was ever a time for him to wear a bearskin chieftain's cloak or a helmet fashioned from the skulls of his enemies or a suit of armour or some shit, this was it. But nope, just wrestling gear, while he walks past the Nazi Zombie Army with Steph who is dressed as a Mad Max villain. Five stars.

I can't decide if Cole's "FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND!!" call was shitarseingly terrible or fantastic. Lita is like the best bad public speaker ever. Like she has a horrible voice and always sounds nervous and flubs lines all the time, but despite all of that she's sort of a perfectly fine promo. It's weird. I'm still mad that Mark Henry didn't win the battle royal. Fuck that. One thing I've noticed just now with the battle royalers coming out, is that in every single match/segment of the main show, I have at least one person on my GWE ballot. Not sure what that says about me given the nature of this show, but I found it interesting to note nonetheless. Sandow took one of the most brutal bumps of the show for his elimination. And that includes a ladder match and Shane leaping to his death. I've muted the rest of the show because yep. Might watch Cena's entrance again. I'm so happy I called for him and he answered the Bat Signal within minutes. Also, honest to God I think the high point of my night was during the main event, I think, I was in hysterics and all of a sudden someone made that post saying "What happened to Johnny's roommate vacuuming?" and I fucking LOST. MY. SHIT. Kudos to whoever you are.

So I tuned out because The West Wing was on but imma sure as shit watch this women's match again. For all of the bullshit and hilarity and weirdness and utter absurdity of this show, how long before we all sober up and talk about the fact that the women had the best match at Wrestlemania? I mean, I think they had the best match at WM22, but that show was full of really good matches and I can understand it's close. Here, there was nothing remotely as good as the women's match, save for a fun ladder clusterfuck. I mean, the women's match was far and away the best match on a Wrestlemania. Let that sink in, and ponder how far the women have truly come in such a short space of time. This is actually working. So much to love. It easily had the best production from start to finish, beginning with that awesome video package. Becky in a Wrestlemania Outfit. And then The Sheila Singing Sasha's Theme and SNOOP DOGGY DOGG~! Sasha looked like such a fucking superstar coming out here, it was ridiculous. Just absurd. And Eddie Guerrero Tribute Tights~! And then Sasha crying outside JerryWorld because she had made it~! And then Ric Flair's Retirement Match Tribute Robe~! And then championship intros! Crowd is pumped! "WO-MENS WREST-LING!" chant! This was some big match fucking build. The "million rollups" opening gambit works for me with Divas matches more than others, simply because Divas matches are typically super short, and often end in rollups, and girls often get rolled up even after taking little damage. So there's a thread of logic there beyond just "this is how we start a workrate match". EDDIE GUERRERO TRIBUTE ROPE WALK HURICANRANA~! I even liked the sunset flip botch - Sasha overshot, so Becky, having dodged a bullet, decided to hit the German she was planning in the first place, but in doing so inadvertently threw herself right into Sasha's arms for the pin. Sasha took some INSANELY NUTTY bumps in this. Just killed herself bumping to the floor and took Germans and spears and shit right on her neck like a fucking champ. She seemed to spend large periods outside, but whenever she was in she was working out of her skin. EDDIE GUERRERO TRIBUTE FROGSPLASH~! SASHA CRAZY ASS MID-AIR SWITCH UP SOMERSAULT TOPE~! BECKY KILLS FLAIR~! CHARLOTTE'S SWEET MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR~! That was like the exact moment that the crowd went from "Yeah we support women's wrestling, have at it ladies, you are equal to men!" to "HOLY SHIT! THIS IS AWESOME! FIGHT FOREVER!" And it crossed a line from a certain amount of goodwill to just genuine marking out for an awesome match. I love that all three of these girls have submission finishers that are over and people recognise and pop for. Sasha punching the leg to facilitate the figure four rollover ruled, as did Becky pulling her out to make the save. Just after that happened Charlotte covers her mouth and I legit can't tell whether she's selling or can't contain her emotion at the moment they're having. KNEELING THREE WAY STRIKES! Like I said Sasha fucking DIED on this spear, that's the best spear Charlotte has ever thrown, or will ever throw. Sasha is #1 and the best. She also was throwing really hard punches in this. TOP ROPE EXPLODER SUPLEX! I motherfucking HATED this finish BUT in the best possible way. It was the only finish of the show where I felt angry at the dastardly heels for being assholes, instead of the company for putting on a shitshow. I sooooooooooo wanted Sasha to win and Flair holding her back was fucking infuriating, I was reaching out and grabbing that asshole from here. And this is a replay. I fucking hated this finish. It was great. Just keep going with this guys. All the way. The crowd was hot for Charlotte and Sasha one on one, that's where the money is. Fuck Takeovers, give them a PPV main event. Charlotte vs Sasha, 20 minutes in the main event at whatever the next PPV is, Sasha wins the belt. Honestly, I would. They just had the MOTN at Wrestle fucking Mania, and your actual main eventer just got indifferenced out of the building. You really have nothing to lose. Viva La Revolucion.

Rusev running the entire way around the ring to superkick Big E was great. Rusev was one of the best guys on this show.

Interviewing Zack backstage seemed like a set up for Owens or whoever to jump him or some ageing Legend to humiliate him, but as it turns out it was just to give him a special moment. It really feels like a "Sorry we buried you for getting yourself over, here, have a random title win years later for no reason" thing.

I should really watch Total Divas. It looks like the clear second-best WWE TV show.

Shitty Announcing Fuck Up #2 was all three of them not having a fucking clue that AJ gave Jericho a front suplex off the top rope, even after a clear replay.

Knowing how it ends I now have no desire to sit through the shitshow that was AJ/Jericho again. I mean seriously, it bothered me at Fastlane and again bothers me here. Is Jericho that much of an egotist, or is he just really dumb? Or both? Because twice how he's shown that he has zero fucking clue how to work to the role that he's playing and make AJ look good. He cuts AJ off in the ring at every turn, between being so slow and old that AJ has to stand around waiting for him and look foolish, to countering all of AJ's moves in cool ways before he has a chance to demonstrate them, to botching the fuck out of the moves he actually does take (that fucking springboard DDT), to kicking out of his finisher in every match. Let alone pinning him clean in the end. Like what the utter fuck. And I mean Jericho usually knows exactly how to work to his role, and how to serve the match even though he's a guy who loves to have a "great match" and come up with cool counters for everything. But he's fucking woeful as "ageing vet surpassed by younger guy". He's working as the exact opposite. I remember the Bourne match in 2010 being really good, so I wonder if I go back and watch that whether Jericho could work it properly there. JBL calling AJ a "flash in the pan" and all this throughout just makes it worse when he fucking jobs in the end. This was atrocious.

Sami's tope through the top part of the ladder was awesome. I loved Sin Cara's springboard dive from being pushed off the ladder, which was totally undersold in the first of many announcing fuck ups. Cara does this insane dive and they're all like "Earlier tonight, Kalisto retained the US Title..." instead of going nuts. Couldn't deviate from the script for one fucking second. I didn't realise that Dolph had become such a main text Shawn tribute until this match where he actually tuned up the band. What the fuck is going on there? The Polka Dot Dusty Ladder ruled. Owens tossing it because he's an asshole ruled too. And Cody fucking ATE it when Miz SCF'd him into it. Owens' draping frogsplash was another mad spot. "The El-Bro Drop" ...Jesus fuck. "Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder - these two men are the best of friends..." WTF? Since fucking when? It's like they're just pressing random buttons on the Cole-A-Tron at this point. Owens powerbombing the fuck out of everyone is great. Sin Cara's Jeff Hardy bump on Cody was super fucking nuts, and I also loved how he got there, with Sami grabbing at him until he had to turn around to deal with him, and then Owens tips him from behind and he thinks "Fuck it, I'm already going down, better salvage this!" As I said live the finish was perfectly laid out. Owens/Sami is the money, so they build to their big punch-off finish and THAT FUCKING EXPLODER CHRIST IN HEAVEN, and then BAM, happy ending is ruined by The Motherfucking Miz, BUT then Zack Ryder stops The Motherfucking Miz, and before you have time to realise that Zack Ryder isn't Sami Zayn, he's already won! Yay! One of the only well laid out spots of the entire show. Also popped for the Zack's Dad Sighting. That was a really fun clusterfuck.

Hmm...and you have no idea how charming I found it.

I love the rationale behind the IC Title win. Vince: We need a babyface title win to kick off Wrestlemania dammit! Creative: OK so Sami Zayn gets his revenge on Owens by taking his title at Mania? Vince: Who the fuck is Sami Zayn?! Creative: Well OK...what about Sin Cara? Lucha Dragons as double champs? Vince: That fucker won't survive the damn match without breaking something! Creative: ...Dolph Ziggler? Vince: ... Creative: ...well we did put Zack Ryder in there... Vince: WOO WOO WOO DAMMIT!

I can't watch the pre-show again, but I want to remind everyone about that Divas tag. Eva Marie's glorious moment. Emma working for about 17 people. Naomi taking hard bumps and giving them back. And Brie's Bryan tributes spots suddenly working and her SWEET AS FUCK transition into the Yes Lock. I think the two women's matches were the only ones that managed to exceed expectations. Also I think it's kind of selfish of Cena not to share his mystical healing powers with his girlfriend. Broken neck? She should be back by now! Never Give Up!

Guys, guys! The replay of Mania starts on my telly in a few minutes. Since I have nothing else to do at 3pm in the arvo, I'm going to have my own personal "Shane leaping off the Cell" moment of stupidity and see what happens when you watch this show twice.

Did you ask if Negro Casas was gay when you first saw him prance around a ring? I know it's not a BIGLAV metric, but still, consistency.

So guys with the show over you all still have a couple hours to get your GWE votes in for Chris Jericho, Brock Lesnar, Undertaker and Triple H.

They are fine. Their new young ace Roman Reigns drew 101,763 people in the main event this year and 76,976 last year. They have a very hot new star, judging by the growth in attendance from last year to this year they will need to find somewhere where they can draw 126,550 fans next year. - WWE Focus Group Dept.