SomethingSavage

That seems like a really shallow, shortsighted mission then. I mean, yeah. I'm commenting about their awful Twitter feud on a message board. But I also discovered their Tweets on a message board. I'm not "following" these people. I'm not watching their television. I'm not enticed or hooked by anything they're saying or doing. It's all terrible. Most of us are simply disagreeing as to HOW horrible it's been. So, I mean... If their aim was to fail, then sure. Mission accomplished, I guess..?

I know I'd give it a shot, but really - the last thing we need is an excuse for Conrad to re-do ALL those Attitude Era podcasts from 97/98/99 again.

Lulz. Your whining about being singled out (for whining) surely will put me in my place. Way to be, man. Way to be.

If recent history is any indication, you're safe in assuming Becky is doomed. She's a baby face, and this company cannot resist the urge. They are only capable of presenting & promoting babyfaces as ONE type of character now - the lifelong fan with a dream. That's it. That's literally where their creativity begins & ends. It's only a matter of time before they abandon the Stone Cold tribute act altogether & have her come out to stand in the ring and declare her lifelong fandom. And talk about her dreams. And basically be a carbon copy of every other baby face on their roster. Beyond that, yeah. There's ZERO demand for a Stone Cold character in our society in 2019. I hate that, but it's true. I mean, I'm not denying that it's over with diehard wrestling fans within the bubble. Because it absolutely is. But nobody in the real world is calling for it. Every instance of trash-talk is met with outrage. People are whining (even here) about how it's too far if they mention body type, or weight, or height, or eating disorders, or their past discretions, or their real life mistakes, or... Fucking ANYTHING really. No insult is safe. No insult is fair game in 2019. So pro wrestling promos are basically these ineffective, neutered blocks of inconsequential dialogue. I'm not entirely sure what THIS is, but it ain't pro wrestling promos. It's just a bunch of talking to fill time. It's fucking filibustering.

If this is their buildup for Mania, then yeah. This shit sucks, y'all. On the other hand, it's kind of amusing that this Twitter beef horse shit would come back & bite them in the ass. It's appropriate too since they're such lazy storytellers that they rely on the talent to create their own feuds & stories in the cesspools of social media. ... Instead of, ya know, letting things happen on their television programs. ... Of which they only have about fifty-eleven hours per week to fill.

At this point, it looks like Bray Wyatt fake retired just to get away from Bray Wyatt.

Impact could be fun. There's nothing remotely interesting about ROH right now, so that would still feel like a chore - albeit a more condensed alternative. I could see Jim actually enjoying various bits of Impact and NXT at times though. Those programs at least have elements of traditional storytelling via the promotion of characters & conflicts. Raw is a rough sell for anyone. It's three hours of sketch comedy horse shit combined with competitive star-seeking matches, and absolutely none of it feels intended for the casual fan. Even *IF* a casual fan is drawn in by a Ricochet or a Balor or (god forbid) a Rollins, they're not going to stick around for 3 fucking hours of the same thing. They'll likely watch the one match, enjoy it for what it is, and then quickly pass on by as soon as they realize that - oh yeah. The rest of the show is just exactly THIS SAME THING on repeat.

Yes! That story with him telling Vince that he still had something to prove in powerlifting was GLORIOUS - perhaps my favorite part of the doc, so I'm glad you brought it up. Everything about it rang true. Vince starts off asking if Mark is sure he wants to enter the competition. Then, when Mark doubles down, Vince gets real. "Well, you'd better win. Because there's no place here for the second strongest man." Tremendous. Flash forward to the comp, and big Mark is SPLITTIN' WIGS with his mind-blowing strength. Setting records, then instantly breaking his own records. Not only all that stuff with his momma, or his son... But there's also the relationship he had with his coach. Fuck, man. That one got me, too. And that HOF speech about how he did it all for his family was the perfect topper to cap it off. Honestly, it's no wonder this guy is universally loved by everyone. There's not a demographic or a single person with a pulse that something like this wouldn't reach or speak to in some terms. It's the best.

I've heard worse ideas. Like building Raw around Seth.

If Bruce is out of bounds now, you gotta wonder if Conrad will make a hard push to get someone onboard for the TNA or the ECW show.

Guys. Hey, guys. That Mark Henry documentary was fucking aces, y'all. It was moving. It was inspiring. It was engaging. It was excellent. It was, well... Everything their usual TV isn't. I mean, I watched the Nigel doc awhile back. And it was good, too. But this - THIS - was a rollercoaster. This was the world's strongest segment. This was the greatest vignette never made. Seriously. It's such a shame they can't figure out a way to do these things & air them in continuity - in canon with their regular television - for people to build connections & relationships with these wrestlers. Something like this - broken into separate, digestible pieces - would be the modern equivalent of the Mankind/Jim Ross interview. It's too bad it took them THIS long to find a way to properly spotlight Mark's powerlifting. An intro like this, back when it could've counted, would have been a big baby face boost. ESPECIALLY the stuff about his mom in 2002. My god. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's all contextual. You trot a baby face out to the ring with a live mic and have him pour his heart out about his momma, and yeah. You risk it dying a silent, awkward death. But if you air it this way? Fuccckkk. Totally different story. But that's their approach to everything in a nutshell. They're tactics are all so tired and uninspired. Every baby face is just a lifelong fan with a dream. That's it. But these people actually have interesting stories to tell. Because they LIVE interesting lives to get there. Anyway, I loved this documentary. Can't tell you the next time I'll watch anything WWE at any given moment in time, but I can tell you I'll be watching this documentary again at some point. It's far better than anything else they've done in a long, long time. I just wish they'd find a way to utilize THIS skill set with their usual stuff. Guys might actually get over in a real, sustainable way.

I don't know. But I need no less than five Rocky Balboa-style montages to put this thing OVER THE TOP, DOOD.

I never knew Vince pitched for Mark Henry to end the streak at 22, so that bit was interesting. I feel like the Undertaker gimmick brings out the worst tendencies in Bruce, from a creative standpoint. Just look at some of the ideas Bruce oversaw, by his own admission. They're mostly garbage. Taker possessing Josh Mathews is something I have no memory of, but it sounds so bad I'm not even going to seek it out to see for myself. Aside from a select few matches, this was just such an awful period for poor Taker. I will say - I remember the HIAC with Randy being really good. I may go back and see how that holds up. But yeah. That was at a time when most HIAC matches still felt like they were actively adding to the legacy & the reputation of the match stipulation itself - before it became an issue where fans basically just crossed their fingers & hoped like hell that the match didn't disappoint.

I need to see the scene from Kansas City, where Hulk goes to exit the bathroom stall and finds the end of Harley Race's gun barrel in his gut. And is it stunt casting to request a Trump cameo by way of Alec Baldwin?

Well you're SOL, because it was the Natural Born Thrillers. At this point, anything they throw together for Bryan will feel tacked on & rushed. Kofi doesn't feel like a truly satisfying fit for Mania, but it's not like there's any other OBVIOUS pick waiting in the wings either. I personally hope it's someone better, but it's not like I'd be bothered if it went to Kofi or anything. It's looking like a majorly underwhelming lineup this year either way.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Hemsworth as Hogan is not something I ever knew I wanted, but I need to see this. Line starts behind me, gents.

The roster is damaged due to shitty booking. The lack of star power is due to shitty booking. The low ratings are due to shitty booking. It doesn't matter how great the matches are if the stories suck, the stakes are nonexistent, the characters never develop or grow, and the moments aren't made to matter beyond the exact point they occur. They've been booking that way for a long time. It's shit, and it's bound to reflect in tangible ways eventually. You're only going to keep so many folks engaged with straight wrestling that doesn't lead to anything or mean anything. I know Pro Wrestling Only seems like an odd place to make that statement, but I firmly believe it. Repairing a damaged Raw roster by raiding a fresh NXT roster, so that you can then damage them through the same hailstorm of shitty booking ideas, is shortsighted. It's like using a band-aid for a case of gangrene. Covering it up doesn't treat the rot.

Quiet, you.

Orton was solid throughout that whole time. It's the last time any WWE was weekly viewing for me, but yeah. Everything on SmackDown was clicking. Orton had good showings in tags with American Alpha, as well as solo outings against AJ and Harper that I still remember. Maybe I'm alone, but I wasn't even totally turned away by the initial Bray title win. That didn't happen until they totally shit the bed by going all supernatural with the story. Instead of being a simple story about betrayal or trust issues within the group, it became this silly shit about haunted houses and sisters' corpses or whateverthefuck. Remember when Russo took the straightforward (by wrestling standards) sibling rivalry/revenge story of Kane-Taker and shoved it off the rails with too many turns & changes to their history? This was that, only amplified by a thousand. And without any payoff. At least Taker-Kane got a proper payoff BEFORE it got diluted. Bray/Orton just got ultra shitty, ultra fast.

Rage of Ultron, to me, is the definitive Ultron story. It's an action-packed, adventurous, extended battle scene. But beneath that, it's a carefully crafted character study of Ultron (and, by extension, his standing within the Avengers canon). I've previously read both Age of Ultron and Ultron Unlimited, two stories that were suggested to me and presented as possibly the best Ultron stories. I was way underwhelmed on both accounts though. Age of Ultron read like a cluttered mess. I'm actually a big fan of dystopian future tales when they're done right, but that book was just Bendis at his worst. Character and dialogue got benched in favor of time travel and these contrived, needlessly complicated situations & overly convenient plot devices. It was just the worst kind of "big event" book in my view. Ultron Unlimited was slightly better. I certainly feel like Busiek has a firmer grasp on team dynamics, even if his dialogue & personalities don't match up to Bendis in that department. Unlimited was a story that set out to REALLY crank up the heat on Ultron as a villain. It laid a heavy body count at his feet and certainly set him up higher on the food chain in their rogues gallery. But it still never reached that next level for me. Ultron trapping the Avengers and literally explaining his plan to them was weak. It's a literal cliche that played out too long and ultimately led to a fairly flat finale. But then there's this story. Rage of Ultron kicks off with a BANG and just never lets up. Hell, the prelude alone is an awesome little story in itself. And that opening monologue from Ultron is an excellent glimpse into his mode of thinking. He has SUCH rich disdain for the human race - describing them as "savage monkeys", all claustrophobic and yet piled on top of one another with overpopulation. I don't remember it word for word, but it sets the stage perfectly. Rick Remender really places the Ultron/Hank Pym relationship under a microscope here though. That's the heart & soul of this story in a nutshell. It's a layered, laser-focused examination of those characters and the ties that bind them. Simultaneously, it touches on the theme of artificial intelligence again & again. As a result, some interesting questions are raised. Does an AI feel? Do they suffer in pain? Do they experience loss? Or joy? Why is Vision the abnormal exception? Is it "killing" for Pym to shut down Ultron's robots, or is it just a simple act of switching off a machine? Do artificial lives matter? The exploration of the Pym/Ultron bond leads to a really badass exchange, actually. They're having a conversation, wherein Pym reveals he views Ultron as his son and cares for him accordingly. Furthermore, he knows Ultron harbors the same instincts, because his brain patterns were designed & patterned after Pym's. (To be fair, this revelation has been used plenty before, but it works very well and leads somewhere worthwhile here.) Ultron's response? To surmise - You're right. I am a reflection of you, father. I am your self-loathing. I am your inadequacies. I am all your feelings of unacceptance. I am your frustration, your anger brought to life. "MY RAGE IS YOUR RAGE." Just an incredible, tense, dramatic scene. There's a similar kickass moment when Pym shows up to confront Ultron. As Ultron sits, seemingly triumphant atop a throne, Pym barges in. He's decked out in his old Ant-Man gear and growing gigantic, stomping past the underlings. "I NEED TO SPEAK TO MY SON." Tremendous. Oh. And back before Pym approaches Ultron the first time, there's this great little gem in the conversation between Pym and Janet. The Wasp is injured, but Hank comes up with a plan. "I've got an idea, Jan. But I don't think you're going to like it." Her response? With a slight smile, as she lies wounded in his arms... "The theme of our marriage." Fantastic. Crazy good dialogue is sprinkled all throughout this thing. That's not necessarily something I would expect in an Ultron story, but there it is. Remender brings the goods, y'all. The finale is a fitting one, too. It brings several threads full circle. There's a definitive display of bravery and a valiant sacrifice from the heroes' side, but the lingering threat of the villain remains at play in the end. Nothing is wrapped up TOO neatly or anything. I mean, the solution is a little comic book-y, but what do you expect? It's a book about a robot with radical, obsessive ideas of conquest. Of course it was going to have a wacky sci-fi ending. In terms of the art, well... It's good. There are pages or panels where the action POPS and everything looks sleek, slick, and clean. Then there are times when it looks kind of average. I'm admittedly not a big art guy though. That's unfair to the creators at times, for sure. But it's not unusual for me to simply not notice much about the artwork unless it's notably poor or exceptionally excellent. My opinion of a story will normally hinge on the writing, and it takes a lot for the art alone to sway me in either direction. I did dig the Vision's new design though. It's not a design I've seen before, but yeah. I liked it a lot. It's not enough of a change to alter his actual look, and the color scheme is the same green, yellow, and red. But it's arranged in different patterns and angles, which (for whatever reason) combined to give him a sharper look in my eyes. Anyway, that's my take on Rage of Ultron. It's not a blowaway great book you need to go out of your way to read or anything, but it's a super fun standalone story. And if I had to recommend one Ultron story to anyone, yeah. This is it. It explores Ultron's character in a way that's thought-provoking, deeply intriguing, and wholly satisfying. Nothing I've ever read involving Ultron has accomplished that before.

I never saw those Bayley segments before, but yasss. 'Preciate ya, Coffey. Lord's work & all that.

I don't follow their TV or anything, but it definitely felt like they were setting up an AJ/Orton match on commentary in the main event.

Especially that finish. Ugh. What a silly, phony looking spot. Sasha getting the submission by pressing the top of her foot against someone's face is an all-time low. That was just embarrassingly bad. I'd argue that Jeff had better matches in TNA than most people realize. I mean, I get that it's a big blind spot for a lot of folks. But yeah. Once he cleaned up his act and made the 2012 redemption run, he strung together some good stuff. Matches with Aries and Lashley are standouts, for sure. The match with Lashley in particular has a SICK Senton across the steel steps that has to be seen. Strictly within WWE, I always enjoyed Jeff's series with Umaga. And the feud with Punk may be his absolute best in terms of progressive, match-to-match learned storytelling.

I don't even disagree with most of this, to be honest. But see. For me, that's what is so fascinating about his ability to remain over and relevant all this time. His look and his gear screams 1990's Hot Topic. His athleticism has dwindled. His moves aren't explosive enough to "fit in" with his contemporaries. Hell, I'll just say it - at times the guy looks like he's moving at half-speed. And his work was ALWAYS clunky and disjointed. Anyone else in that spot doesn't stay that over. They don't retain that connection with the crowd. But what Jeff does *is* impressive to me. And nah. It's not the moves. It's not the fast-forward spot-to-spot stuff that is thriving in pro wrestling right now. It's his selling that conveys such struggle. It's the sympathy that his selling elicits from a crowd. It's the way he invites & inspires support. It's way less about high-flying moves and way more about the broad strokes stuff. It's the in-betweens. And I'll forever argue that it's more impressive to master THAT stuff than the moves.

Just to touch on a few things... Bray was the heel when his shack was burned to the ground. So Orton getting cheered was the desired result, as bizarre as that sounds. And Bryan vs. Bray in a cage never happened. The match was the Usos against Bryan & Bray. The post-match scene, with Bryan fighting back, is what everyone remembers. But yeah. Their Rumble match was excellent. If Bryan could somehow get something similar out of Wyatt again, that would be remarkable.