SomethingSavage

I'm just glad Alexandria got a shout last night. I was at a house show there back in 2009. Front row tickets. Directly across the ring on the front row was this pack of super-tanned, big-breasted blondes. Those chicks showed up for Orton that night. That's right. With their Viper signs. Super hot blondes. Front row for PG WWE. In 2009. Orton was over in Alexandria, y'all. Carry on...

This. All of this. I caught about 4-5 hours of downtime (unexpectedly, at the last minute) and figured, "What the hell? I'll check out the Chamber show." By that, I mean I'd watch the two Chamber matches and skim past everything else - unless something catches my eye. The women's Chamber match had its moments. But there was PLENTY of "just there" there in between. I applaud them for applying storytelling and even reaching back to last year for some sense of continuity. That's a rarity for them, and so it should be spotlighted a bit. Once it got down to the final two teams, I enjoyed it though. So there's that. I saw that some folks dug the finish, but I thought it looked hokey as hell. I think people are just so trained to look for "psychology" in wrestling matches that they automatically think it's awesome whenever they can apply it to ANY situation. But nah. It looked stupid as hell here. Sasha using her foot to pull off the submission wouldn't have hurt one bit. It wasn't a legitimate submission. It didn't look like anything that would ever hurt anyone. It just looked like a silly, phony 'rasslin move that shouldn't exist in a post-MMA explosion world. If your finish is a guillotine choke, but your shoulder is too hurt to reach over the neck and apply a tight grip, would you then try to wrap your knee behind the neck and "choke" out someone? Well nah. Because that's fake as fuck and looks stupid to boot. Same thing happened here. Just a goofy looking finish, and I feel bad that they had to sell it as something innovative or smart. Oh. One thing stood out during the entrances. The edict that everybody strike their pose at every available opportunity needs to go. They look like video game versions of themselves stuck in a glitch. Poor Mandy Rose looked like she had been directed, "When in doubt, just POSE." Awful. I remember Dana Brooke doing the same stuff when she first started out in NXT. She was hitting her pose as often as she was drawing a breath. It was like a nervous tick. I like Lio Rush as the pesky manager. I did NOT like his promo here. Gave it a chance. Wish I wouldn't have. Just awful. You could tell from his delivery that the guy has a spark and some life there, but it's buried underneath dreadful WWE dialogue. Everybody sounds like everyone else. No matter who they are, no matter what they're meant to be, and no matter where they're from. They want them all to speak the same verbiage - which is this awkward speak that nobody on God's green earth actually uses in day to day life. It's atrocious. I don't know what the hell they're doing with Braun anymore. What a waste. Even worse, they're wasting Lashley and Drew in this League of Nations level group. Jesus jumping Christ. I know it's cool for people to dump on TNA, but they booked both those guys to look like legitimate main event caliber guys. And that was at a time when the company was almost completely bankrupt in terms of creativity. The fact that THIS is what a team of highly paid writers AND experienced wrestling agents can come up with is inexcusable. Everyone involved here deserves better. Even Corbin should be above this - that's how horrible it is. And the main event was okay. I'm almost certain I could list about ten other Chamber matches that were better though. No exaggeration. And I never bought Kofi as a true threat either. Don't get me wrong. I can appreciate what they were doing, and I especially appreciate the audience in attendance for biting. It elevated the atmosphere & everything, for sure. But i still never bought in. To be fair, i understand this spot was meant for Ali. And maybe that would've stirred up a different reaction. The young rising star with a month+ of buildup behind him is simply better suited for that spot than the mid-card lifer with one week of buildup. It just is what it is. Daniel Bryan is amazing for getting what he got out of this though. I agree with that much. I just think the overreaction to Kofi's role is a bit much. As fun as this was, it felt like a total detour. Filler. Time-killer. Not a proper prelude to a Mania match. Not at all. I don't feel like there needs to be any outcry for Kofi to get a title shot at Mania or anything. I don't expect anything more out of this than what we got with Santino or even with Dolph after Survivor Series 2014. In both cases, those guys got mid-card title runs shortly thereafter. But that's it. I do feel like I put more stock in Jeff Hardy than you do though, man. I'm a fan of the guy. His superstar rise in 08/09 was super fun. And I find his limitations (promos, that goofy dance, his dated style) to be part of the charm actually. Like, my nephew LOVES the face paint. That's something you think would get old, but it just doesn't. And that's Jeff in a nutshell. You'd figure people would just be over his routine by now, but they're just not. He brings a certain quality of timelessness to a look and a style that really SHOULDN'T hold up that well. But the dude pulls it off. I actually think he's improved as a worker as he's grown older. Yes. He still does wild & crazy shit. See that Swanton across the turnbuckle. Or the SICK Swanton across the apron in that Nakamura match. That was batshit banana bonkers. But he's so much smarter about it now. I realize that sounds contradictory, but hear me out. He's slowed down. He picks his spots. He makes shit matter. I know I'm the guy who picks on Seth Rollins here (and with good reason, 'cause the dude fucking sucks), but really. He could stand to learn a thing or two (hundred) from a guy like Jeff Hardy. Remember back in those hot Shield tags, how people were comparing Seth's flurries to a young Jeff? That's because, with the right lessons, he could've got there. But compare the two today & it's night and day. Jeff sells his ass off. Jeff lets the action breathe. He takes ONE dive, gets an insane reaction from it, and MILKS that shit through to the finish. Seth dives no less than three times in 30 seconds & it amounts to nothing. Nothing for him. Nothing for the opponent. And nothing to the crowd. I mean, maybe they chant, "This is awesome." But they'll turn around and chant, "Boring." in the same match. Even if you're not a fan personally, it's impossible to deny that Jeff is a rare breed of wrestler in today's landscape. He holds an actual connection with most crowds. Maybe it isn't what it was at his peak, but it's still there. Dude is capable of commanding their attention and playing on those emotions through his selling, through his comebacks... That's more than can be said for this year's Mania headliner. Hell, that's more than can be said for the majority of any roster in wrestling today. So yeah. I'll go to bat for Jeff. The guy's better than he maybe gets credit for anymore.

Meh. I think Tessa is hawter than a fresh fucked fox wearing wool socks sometimes, but A LOT of that admittedly comes from her swagger. She carries herself like a boss. And that ass meat ain't too shabby either. But yeah. The Stan Smith jawline is an unfortunate tragedy. Charlotte just does nothing for me. It's all strictly personal preference, but I can't look at her without thinking about Ric in drag. She's uncensored!

I had to search for this thread, because I knew I'd get death threats if I posted a comment about anyone's appearance in any other average thread. So yeah. I realize we're supposed to pretend we don't notice how people look or anything, but hey. I have working eyeballs. And so I noticed a few things on the Elimination Chamber show. That Billie Kay chick freaks me the fuck out. There's something about her face. It's like she's one part Flo the Progressive lady & one part Jigsaw the murder doll from the Saw franchise. How she passes for a sex symbol or whatever the Iiconics are supposed to be is beyond me. But to each their own. And seeing Charlotte in street clothes made it glaringly obvious that she is very much her father's daughter. I mean, I always noticed the broad shoulders and lanky Roger the Alien arms before, but she's got no real figure at all. Not a curve in sight.

That's the thing though. No one expected CJ Parker to "be Juice Robinson" until he suddenly was. Nobody had Cody pegged for big things either. In fact, people couldn't shit on him fast enough. That's what makes this stuff interesting. It opens up possibilities for guys to succeed or fail on their own terms - at least in theory.

TNA 2010 is the fucking pits, but Hogan & Eric get it right the following year. Lockdown 2011-Lockdown 2013 is a hell of a fun stretch for the company. But yeah. 2010 sucks a dick something fierce. Hall, Nash, Syxx, and EY (for some reason) being the off-brand nWo was terrible. Nasty Boys returning was bizarre. Sean Morley showing up out of the wild blue yonder to beat Christopher Daniels was awful. Jeff Hardy was a mess. AJ was nearly impossible to enjoy underneath the cheap garments with their glued-on feathers. (Wooo!) Was anything good happening? I mean, I thought the Kurt/Anderson cage match was aces. And the Pope looked like a money player for an all-too-brief moment there. But that's really about it. Things didn't get good again until after the Jeff Hardy drug debacle. They went all in on developing new guys in Roode, Storm, Aries, a rejuvenated Bully Ray, etc. And the product felt sooo refreshed for awhile there. Even if you wanted to skim through & filter out the less desirable stuff, you still owe it to yourself to follow the Angle/Jarrett feud, the redemption run of Jeff Hardy, the retooling of Bully Ray, the rise of Roode & especially Aries, and that remarkable Hogan/Sting happening from BFG. You've come this far. And you could do much worse with your time. Like, I don't know, keep up with current WWE.

At some point last year, I got lazy with my listening to some shows & only selectively kept up with Corny's stuff through YouTube clips. It was much easier to avoid the political landmines & other assorted stuff that way. Then the whole thing with YouTube blew up, and I just never got back into it. Has he still been covering OVW or SMW at all?

Bayley's start in NXT was totally different than what she received on the main roster. Originally, she was this awestruck fan-girl - just happy to be there and constantly greeting people with hugs. She put in the work and took the fans along with her on that journey. They grew to respect and support her. She showed up on the main roster as Sasha's best friend or whatever and was treated like... Well, everyone else basically. The move & the upgrade in competition provided them the perfect excuse to have her reignite the same story essentially. She should've been in awe at the sight of WWE main roster stars for the first time. But I digress... Regarding Gargano/Ciampa, the main roster doesn't really do angles like that. The closest comparison is something like the awful Dean/Seth stuff. That's their equivalent - just endless rematches with a loose excuse kind of assigned to them in an attempt to justify them.

If there were ever a case of anything resembling creative control in recent WWE, I think there's a more viable argument for Jericho. Dude did the same deal by expressly stating how he wanted no merchandise as a heel. Plus he had a lot of sway with Jimmy Jacobs and the writers, taking care to craft his own stories and angles with the Festival of Friendship & all the JeriKO stuff. I could see this being a fairly similar deal. It's not creative control, but it's not too far off. The more interesting story would be in HOW it got to this point. Good for Bryan, either way. Seems like the guy has won some real trust & faith from those in power.

The dude is building an empire, and he clearly has a mind for monetizing & strategizing his shit. I ain't mad at it. You're right though. At some point, it would seem like he would have to delegate or rotate some of his workload. Like I've said, I have friends like Conrad. He strikes me as the type of guy who is super fun in small doses. But I actually love his approach to the hustle. "This shit ain't gonna last forever." Gotta get it while it's there.

Okay. So Jeff Lemire's run on Old Man Logan is pretty outstanding. It's this deep, excellent exploration of the aged Wolverine's personality - his struggling sense of accountability, his most basic instincts, and especially his inner turmoil. It truly is a tremendous character study. Going back for a bit, I stepped away from my comic collecting/reading at some point in high school. I tried keeping up with a few Spider-Man titles here or there - Jenkins' run, the early JMS stuff before it became all supernatural and mystical, and DeFalco's awesome Spider-Girl all remained on my radar for longer than expected. I didn't actually read many of them, but I did my best to keep informed for some reason. I couldn't let go instantly. Oh. And there was everything Garth Ennis. I had to see Preacher through to its end. And his Punisher was something I actively sought out. Everything else fell to the wayside once I got that driver's license though, as you could imagine. Comics took a backseat - quick, fast, and in a hurry. Anyway, other than Garth Ennis' work, only two stories were eventful enough to draw me back for short periods of time. One was Loeb and Lee's Hush. The other was Millar's original Old Man Logan. I'm a HAYOOJ fan of alternate universes when they're done right. And Millar brought the goods with Old Man Logan. The world-building was on another level, and the characterization was supreme. Logan's resistance & reluctance was such a strong departure from the classic Wolverine we knew & loved, but it felt so natural and organic that he would eventually arrive at this place in his life - especially as we're given the back story of his murderous rampage. Logan is an old man. A family man. With this giant, black cloud of shame & dishonor hovering over his head. And the scene where Logan finds his family? In that split second where he's had enough & finally loses his shit? Ohmigod. That panel of Logan FINALLY popping his claws? Chills. Literal. Instant. Chills. But I didn't come here to pile on more love for Millar's Logan. This is designed to be a post about Lemire's follow-up, which I honestly never even knew existed. I seriously didn't know it was a thing. And my first thought was that it'd be an unnecessary sequel. A tacked on cash-grab attempt, because OF COURSE Marvel would want to milk the popular story for all it's worth. But I was blown away by how much I enjoyed this. It's not a lazily constructed sequel. It's a deeper dive into everything we already saw with the original. Lemire stays true to the roots of Old Man Logan, while simultaneously introducing him to a brand new cast of (mainstream) Marvel characters. Logan is further fleshed out in the process. He experiences grief. He wrestles with a natural appetite for revenge and some semblance of acceptace. It's great. There's one big arc about Logan being hellbent on ensuring his future never happens, but there are all these smaller stories happening along the way. His villains aren't exactly dripping with complexity or anything, but that's fine when you deal with Deathstrike or Sabretooth. It is what it is. Besides, the psychological themes are clearly meant to be the focal points (and the actual fuel for the story) anyhow. So yeah. I dug every bit of Lemire's run with Old Man Logan. I tried sticking around through the creative change for a bit, but it just wasn't the same. The heart & soul just wasn't synced up the same way. Suddenly, the lackluster villains mattered more - because the emotional beats weren't landing as hard anymore. And you can get by with one or the other, but when both are weak sauce? That will have you just waiting for the story to find an endpoint. On paper, Maestro looks like the perfect counterpart for Logan. But his plot to nuke the planet or whatever was a bizarre departure from everything that came before. The book became this James Bond adventure or something overnight. It was jarring. And it was a bizarre way to bring back the inbred redneck Hulk clan - a move I originally applauded in earnest, although I didn't care for what they ultimately did with them. Sabretooth popping up on Logan's birthday every year (like clockwork) to try to kill him is a neat touch though. Has that always been a thing? I seem to recall it being brought up before, but it's been so long since I read anything from the 80s and 90s I honestly couldn't be sure. It sounds like something I've heard before. Anyway, the idea of Sabretooth KNOWING this Old Man Logan isn't the original Wolverine - but still honoring his vow to, ya know, kill the guy on his birthday - is freaking fantastic. It's too comic book-y for words. How do you not love that?! Oh. And I have to heap some praise on the art. I fucking LOVE the graphic, gritty style on Old Man Logan. The way the action & the violence is emphasized and highlighted by those crimson-colored focus boxes is incredibly cool. It clobbers all subtlety like a wrecking ball, but I don't care. There's nuance in the characterization, so I don't necessarily demand it in my fight scenes. Anyway, I adore the idea of those red boxes as a storytelling device in the action scenes. You can't help but have your attention & your eyes drawn to the action as it happens. It plays on your anticipation and excitement in some really fun ways.

Nah, I absolutely agree. Furthermore, I find it to be one of Conrad's finer attributes that he's able (willing?) to function like a chameleon among all three shows. He is what he needs to be for each. They're uniquely different roles. But yes. His tone is definitely different with Bischoff. They still have an appreciative chemistry though. If you asked me to pick, I actually prefer the back & forth with Eric. It's highly focused and on-topic. I still have a soft spot for the original Bruce/Conrad connection, but they almost never hit those notes anymore. There seems to be very little energy or liveliness on their shows together. Maybe the live show experience is just as fun as ever, but it hasn't really translated to the podcast in awhile. Random side note I forgot to bring up before - but I got a kick out of Eric's praise for Scorpio. It literally sounded like most comments that were posted here for the GWE project. Loved that.

I'm enjoying the SuperBrawl series every bit as much as the Starrcade series so far. This really has turned into a consistently excellent podcast every week. We recently talked about how 83 Weeks has been nuking Something To Wrestle in terms of quality for months now. So it's cool to hear that this was the highest-grossing podcast for the month of December. I guess that means Bruce still saw more downloads, but Eric is getting more attention from the paying crowd over on Patreon. That's awesome & well-deserved. The episodes on SuperBrawl 6 and 3 allowed Eric to cover A LOT of ground. Bischoff is highly opinionated at every turn, so of course he never runs low on ammo. Bill Watts and JJ Dillon probably get it the worst. I could see people being defensive of Dillon, who Eric called useless in the Horsemen (since they could all talk) and comparable to a piece of furniture in his backstage role. But I kind of see Eric's point on the trust issue. If Dillon would burn Vince based on a salary cut, what's to stop him from turning around & doing the same to Eric? How do you build a business relationship of trust on the back of that? I always crack up at Eric's reactions to the pre-97 version of DDP. Bischoff's disdain for the gimmick and the gear ranks right up there with his hatred of Jimmy Hart. It's just so fun to hear him go off about it. And his descriptions are pretty fucking accurate, to be fair.

I dug the Survivor Series '96 episode awhile back, so I thought I'd check out the Mania X8 offering. It was actually another enjoyable listen. Like I said before, the show seems to be MUCH more tolerable when they do these shows unrelated to JCP or WCW. Conrad is still in wannabe comedian mode for the most part, but he's sort of forced into acting as the tour guide and the host a bit as well. Tony tackles things with a total openness and willingness to immerse himself in the shows too, which helps a lot. There are few things as fun as hearing Tony being swept up in a good wrestling match. His reactions during the Flair/Taker match are pure joy. Man. I feel like I've heard that Rock promo at least two dozen times in my life, but holy shit. When he hits that go-home stretch and delivers that "Good God Almighty..." line? Goosebumps. Instant. Literal. Goosebumps. Simply amazing when you get a FEELING off a piece of audio like that. I generally find Conrad's sense of humor unfunny about 70-80% of the time, but yeah. I'll give it to him. He cracked me up with the shot at Kane. Something to the effect of... "Can you believe it? We're getting paid for this. Like, we're getting paid to watch a Kane match. ... Which is certainly the best way to watch a Kane match, really. My apologies to everyone out there who ISN'T getting paid to watch Kane matches." Tremendous.

Is it just a thing with my phone, or has the PTB site not been updated with new pods & stuff in awhile?

I'm not shitting on the match. I fucking LOVED Charlotte/Ronda back in November. I mostly dug the Becky/Charlotte series. And I'm kind of convinced they'll actually crown Becky here. No problems with that. My aggravation is aimed at the booking. It's just so lifeless, lethargic, and downright apathetic. That's their approach to... Well, everything. They book for star-seeking matches. Continuously. Every show. Every match. On every card. It's monotonous and tiresome. There are no engaging stories. There are no hooks. No enticing conflicts. No quests that feel worth following. I guess you could point to Becky, but again - even her journey is a copy of a copied story that's already been told again & again & again. Everything is a competitive match. Despite the fact that they got guys over like gangbusters - namely Braun and Ryback in recent times - by leaning into squash matches instead, they still pour all their resources into this endless treadmill of competitive matches. It's all so exhausting. Where's the character development? Where's the emotional attachment? Where's ANY reason to care for these characters, beyond "McMahon doesn't want us to like you, so we love you!" ..? It isn't there. Any of it. If shit like Seth/Dean teaming up again so soon happened in any other storytelling medium, it would be ripped to shreds by critics. WWE wants to be taken seriously as this storytelling art form, but it's lucky nobody takes it seriously, to be honest. Because they get a pass for shitty stories and illogical developments like that. I don't know. Most modern WWE just isn't for me. At all. I can't sit through shitty, meaningless hours of WWE television that lead nowhere and cultivate NOTHING NEW. Ever. I just can't. I can't watch WWE television without glancing back & forth at the time. I always feel like there are better things I could be doing with my time. At the very least, I could binge watch a MUCH better show - one with actual character development and storytelling. At 30 years old, I probably sound like the world's oldest, angriest man yelling at a cloud. And sometimes WWE's shitty booking *does* have me question if it's possible I've finally outgrown my wrestling fandom. But then I see a wrestling show that's actually, ya know, GOOD. And I know nothing could be further from the truth. So yeah. I guess that's just it. The action is great, and some of the matches are top shelf. But their booking is so fucking god awful. It's borderline criminal that Becky may get her crowning moment, but it's going to come in such a repetitive, dated, tired angle - instead of a story specifically designed for her - to be ABOUT her. Nobody was booking Steve Austin to relive the Diesel title win. Why can't they just get off their asses and serve up something original again? It's staged. You can LITERALLY do anything with these characters & have your fan base accept it. The idea that they keep retreading the SAME fucking terrain over & over is maddening.

Their booking just feels so lazy and uninspired at every level. The Bryan stuff feels fresh and unique, because it's at least a character-driven story and seems to be headed toward a logical conclusion (him getting beat and having his eco-belt destroyed or whatever). Everything else is trash in comparison. Yes. They're focusing on Becky, which is great. But it's still so very lazy and extremely uninspired. They don't even bother to create original angles or new stories for these people anymore. There are no new quests or journeys. It doesn't matter if it's Roman or Becky or whoever - they're all living out "Story Mode" realities of other wrestlers' careers. Every angle is a diluted, Xeroxed copy of something that was already done (to greater success and popularity). Becky is catching fire & should at least warrant a chance to have her OWN story unfold. Instead, they're trying to birth this weird Austin/Bryan hybrid baby for her. It's forced and unnecessary, instead of feeling like some situation that is wholly her own. Seth Rollins wins the Rumble. Okay. I can deal with that. But if they're backing this guy for the Mania title shot, shouldn't he have his own angle or story for Mania? Nah. They just give him the standard, "It's my childhood dream to finally main event WrestleMania!" teary-eyed horse shit. Seriously. We get this every year. It's literally one of the ONLY stories they know how to tell anymore. It's either the lifelong dream come true or the record-breaking bullshit. That's literally it. That's all they've got. Fifty-eleven writers on staff & zero original ideas among them. The fuck?

I know some folks buy into the idea that anybody can be rebuilt anytime, and there's certainly some evidence to suggest that may be true. But I don't know. It definitely feels like they've killed every ounce of Braun's momentum and aura this past year. Some guys are destined to be top guys - or nothing at all. Sid. Brock. Taker. They just don't fit in the mid-card for long durations. It isn't a sustainable spot for them. I'm always reminded of Jim Cornette's line about Batista from OVW. This guy isn't ever going to be taking arm drags in the opening match. He's going to headline or nothing at all. I truly, truly hate what they've done with Braun. He was on course to be Bizarro Brock - the mirror image of a monster on a tear. But they couldn't get out of their own way & seemingly can't book a proper payoff to ANYTHING anymore. Such a shame. And I dig Elias. He's not anything extraordinary in the ring, but he's solid enough. His big power moves look good and seem like they matter. He dragged Seth Rollins to a decent little match last year, way better than that gauntlet match everyone was raving about for some ridiculous reason. So there's that. He also had some good matches with Balor the last time I watched Raw. Around the summer of 2017, I think? Back when Joe was going nose to nose with Lesnar and whatnot. There's probably not a lot on his resume in terms of noteworthy matches, but he does feel like a guy that could go somewhere with the right opportunity or program to level up. Unfortunately, nothing really sticks in WWE these days. Guys aren't elevated by way of feuding with each other anymore. People are only elevated when it's assigned to them. Nothing is committed to canon beyond the moment it occurs. So the only chance a guy like Elias has of moving up is... Well, if & when they decide to suddenly start writing him that way, basically.

Fixed that for you, tbh.

It's not my favorite pro wrestling podcast or anything, but this show has been quietly awesome for awhile. I could listen to Mooney interview just about anybody. He's not a know-it-all or a deep-cut insider. Mooney comes from a mostly casual perspective and takes care to approach his interviews with a welcoming, inviting style. It's excellent, easy listening.

Lethal isn't anything extraordinary in terms of match output or whatever, but I do think he's slightly underrated in terms of working angles and feuds. Jay probably wouldn't stand out if he were side by side among elite company, but in ROH? I'd say he's one of the better equipped guys for that stuff. I don't think he ever needed another title reign or anything, but I understand why they value him & why they'd choose to feature the guy consistently.

Such incredible nuance. Such subtlety.

Dunno. But to say your optimism is admirable can be an all-time understatement, brutha.

Or they could just, ya know, maybe NOT make it run 6 hours this year..? Their run times are relentlessly punishing at this point. I don't know how (or why) anyone would keep up.

Rusev is a handsome, sharp-looking guy who carries himself with a certain charm & wit. Dolph is a loud, obnoxious dude-bro with tired bleached-blonde hair and a gigantic Sid chin. Plus he constantly chomps gum, looking like a slack-jawed cow who's trying way too hard to act laid back. Call me crazy, but I can't imagine Lana has ever had an easier decision in her entire adult life. Vince secretly crushing on Dolph is funny to me though. There's an alternate universe out there, where Vince still sits in on commentary & gushingly gets the vapors for Dolph like it's 1996 HBK all over again.