El-P

I hate the gimmick of not entering the ring. It makes the whole thing stupid. You should enter the ring before the next entrant or be eliminated. Good stuff overall thus far with star looking people.

WTF ?!!!

Oh yeah, Belair wins actually. I was a fan of hers when she was in NXT years ago. Total futur megastar if played right.

I miss GLOW. Fucking COVID.

Well, Bliss wins then. I dunno who Mike Rome is, but he looks like a corporate douchebag. Wow, Bailey looks so different. Wow, Naomi looks exactly the same.

Beautiful, progressive Djeddah spotted. If the women's Rumble closes the show, Ronda is coming back.

Oh... Do you know that on the latest Lil Kim album (yes, it exists), there's a song that begins with a sample of Micheal Cole saying "Mark Henry" ? Well, now you know, and I'm sure you're glad you know.

Yes. But why ? And why this stuff no one cares about on a show WITHOUT AN AUDIENCE !

Get on with some Rumble match people, it's getting late and I'm sipping rhum. I won't be able to sustain this snail pace of a show for too long. Hey ! Kofi ! That guy's standing surely has changed a lot since that Daniel Bryan match at Mania... He looks like a totally different guy and total single star now. Ok, maybe too much rhum already...

Well, I haven't watched a Carmella match in years. Of course working with Sasha doesn't hurt, damn that girl looks just as great as she was a few years ago. Really good match.

Wow, Sasha Banks is so great and Carmella has apparently improved a fuckload. I'm really digging this match. Also, is Sasha wearing a legit Vuitton outfit ? That's something else.

On the WWE Youtube channel, it's a watch along, but DDP was there only for the Goldy match. Just enough time to plug DDPY. (hey, I did those seven 10 sc push-ups on the Jacked 7 routine, while even Darby Allin was cheating the fuck out of it)

That was so nothing, honestly. I have no idea what was the appeal of 54 years old Goldy. DDP looks kinda bored. He says Miz is stoopid if he doesn't cash up right now.

Reactions people (dunno who they are apart from DDP) talking about this is like a video game when you spam finishers. Hilarious.

BTW, DDP is live on the reaction show on Youtube and he's talking about DDPY. The guy works with AEW and yet gets a spot on WWE youtube and STILL SELLS HIS STUFF. Greatest hustler ever.

WWE : 54 years old opening match AEW audience be like : ok boomer Why are they showing a long-ass retrospective AFTER the guy is already in the ring ? I find that super lame, it kills whatever flow the presentation has.

I'm staying with you for the time being because it's a really depressing time and I need the entertainment. Of the board commenting live I mean. Don't judge... Da fuck is Goldy starting the show ?

I'm really sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Yeah, she died in Athens, she fell off her roof. She climbed up there to watch the full moon and fell down. It's just so absurd and so so sad. She had been one of my very favorite artists of the last few years. It's just... tragic.

Wait, Ric Flair is feuding with is own daughter because he believes a woman younger than her wants to fuck him ? Holy shit ! That legdrop is hilariously bad. Like, really now, King Kong Bundy had more elevation.

Shane O-Mac ? That knee in the face was cool.

Nope. I'm a huge fan of Jay White. I don't want to lose him to WWastelandE. This match is "ok".

Billy Corgan spotted. Fuck, Nia Jaxx is SO BAD. Insane how she makes everything she does look bad. She's Kane level bad.

The sponsor is Cricket. Is that another political hit on Roman Reigns because that's what he has mostly drawn ?

No. It would be another depressing event to start 2021, after multiple deaths of beloved artists (SOPHIE died yesterday at 34, I'm gutted as fuck). Watching the Youtube thingy. I'm so not used to WWE stuff anymore that everything looks and sounds so heavy handed.... Hopefully Charlotte and Nia don't concuss anyone.