El-P

It's funny when you think *IMPACT* is still alive, yet some WWE fanboys are predicting death for AEW after one month of TV.

The fact is, everyone should just shit on those shows, how of pure principle, really.

Can I make fun of Meltz for a change ? Can I ? Can I ? Ok. So, him saying that using "thumbtacks" in the context of Callihan vs Cage "takes off from the realism of a fight" is pretty hilarious after he spent the week defending (rightly so) Marko Stunt.

Thanks for keeping me posted, I had no idea. Gonna watch that one (I was surprised Madison wasn't in the Gauntlet match).

Meanwhile, IMPACT had yet again a super fun PPV no one is talking about. Cage vs Callihan was great. This is how you do a grudge match. Blood, great garbage spots, a dirty heel, a fiery pissed off babyface whose final comeback kicking at one actually makes sense with his character and the story (he's a machine and he's pissed off) and at the end the babyface wins and celebrate with his hot wife who had been injured by the dirty heel, and the announcer says this feud is over. Pro-wrestling ain't that hard to do right. Callihan again delivers an awesome performance, this guy has been consistently excellent for at least two years straight in every feud he's been positioned. Moose vs Shamrock was ok was a while then it kinda died out, going too long and just not being very good. Shamrock doing a no touch plancha was crazy, and he still looks incredible and has the same kinda charisma he had 22 years ago. That's the only match that wasn't too good, really. Marufugi (lolIMPACT) vs Elgin was a very good G1 Climax 1996 match. That's really Elgin's calling, as he can't do much more with his consistent constipated body language. I dunno, he showcased character in Mexico, maybe he should work there all the time. The ladder match was one hell of a clusterfuck. Ace Romero is a great signing for IMPACT. If he's not dead from that last bump though. The build to the finish was excellent and I really didn't it coming. I hope they have other big plan for Tessa. It does make Austin a really big heel. Daga looked really string here, he's a guy I hope they keep on booking. Taya vs Dashwood slowly build into a very, very good match I though. Taya has developed into one hell of a worker and Dashwood, although she really wasn't that hot coming into this, truly is a super solid worker too. I hope IMPACT locks Taya into a GOOD deal, because she's a star. The tag team match was all action and better than I expected considering the old ECW guys. The North and Swann/Mack I love to see against each other. The RVD turn is interesting, that's something different for Van Dam. Curious to see where they go with this. I guess the six-men was a dark match ? That's too bad because I really wanted to see this one. The gauntlet was mostly fun with two great surprises, Joey Ryan was apparently has been signed too, which I love. And Kylie Rae ! No one is talking abouT Kylie Rae showing up on IMPACT ?? She looked great, AEW really lost something with her. If IMPACT could sign her too to a GOOD deal, that would be quite the catch. I really look forward for their debut on a bigger station, hoping they can go on presenting their cool product with an actual audience this time and maybe more procution values ? And by that I mean not depending on Matthews' Iphone to stream a PPV ? Anyway, IMPACT remains that little fucked up promotion that could.

Sounds like the actual TV Show too...

Ah, the yearly Jamal Khashoggi Tribute Show. Does decapitation counts for a DQ ?

Honestly, once the novelty wears off, I don't see how this show will keep the hype it first had. This third show really was light on everything. No good wrestling at all. Women's match was bad. Konley vs Parker, whoever they are, was two indie guys who look interchangeable doing stuff, the kind of match I already don't care for in MLW. The Josephus/Cabana/James Storm was just plain bad. The main event was "ok" by 1993 standards. I mean, the Dawsons legit look and work like two guys who would be jobbers in IMPACT today, hell, they look and work like two guys who would do jobs in SMW in 1995, slaughtered in three minutes by the Gangstas. Bring on the old-ass RnR Express already. Highlights were Kingston's promo, including the bit about Corny stealing his heat, the Spiritual Adviser commercial which had me legit laugh at the WTF nature of it (and the acid drenched visuals), Tim Storm & Eli Drake doing total SMW/mid 80's promo segment (anyone noticed how Storm kinda look like a jacked up Jerry Lawler ?) and the Aldis/Kamille segment. Yeah, this. She's a trooper too, she takes great bumps. This girl could go some places. Anyway, it's easy to watch, fun in parts, but the lack of actual good wrestling really showed this week. No idea where this is going...

True that. Ok, I'll give him that. Just don't let him book jackshit. And ROH.... well, ROH has a bunch of cool people under contract and a NJPW relationship (for now). Of course, who are we kidding, none of this will happen, but yeah, the talent is there, both in the ring and in production/booking.

He did in the first show, which is why I went on a long-ass rant. But he probably don't get what it really means.

Apart from being super athletic, Rollins as exactly nothing to do with Omega in term of work. Omega puts shitloads of thought into his matches and it shows. He also has connexion with crowds. Rollins is spot monkey working WWE self-epic style in a void. One also packed (not exactly sold out, ok, point taken) the Tokyo Dome and was an active part of NJPW being as hot as it was while he was there, while the other, despite being pushed by the WWE machine, has been a proven failure on top of his promotion. I mean, the comparison ain't fair, on any level, really...

So, on the new BTE, Joey Janela signs an autograph on someone's wife's tits. But there"s a twist. And it's actually pretty cool. Not gonna spoil it. The "Do ya ?" spot always cracks me up.

I have called Orton the Black Hole, but in all honesty, I know he's actually a good worker, it's just that his work in WWE is so.... dull and so... WWE. Yeah, him showing up like he's DDP on Nitro in 97 and RKO some mofo would get a gigantic pop. Like, Austin-like pop. And yeah, would be great.

If Orton ever shows up in AEW and if AEW can make him interesting to me, then they'll officially be the miracle promotion. Whatever I may think of him (and honestly, since he has never worked anywhere, we don't know what he could have been outside of the WWE machine), it would be their true Lex Luger moment.

Will this year stop being crazy ?

Seriously now, just kill Rollins Twitter account, the guy is making a fool out of himself every single week now. It's really pathetic. EDIT : ok, I didn't see it was a video from some sort of conference. Still ridiculous. Plus what does it makes of NXT ? I mean, they are getting slaughtered by the minor leagues. Way to shit on your own product Seth...

Yes, we use it to quote something that has been said, it's straight up Latin. We still use a number a Latin expressions, mostly without knowing what the hell they litteraly means. I for one have never learn any Latin, so there you go, you just taught me what dixit actually means. For sure. Booked by D'Amore & Callis, preferably, called by Callis & Schiavone (I would love that team), with the business side handled by Corgan. Bauer can fuck off.

Odd choice for the last build to the PPV to showcase a taping from The Crash. Still, these episodes have been quite enjoyable thus far. More luchadors, more Salina, that's what you need. The Tijuana brawl between Samael & Hijo de LA Park was kinda cool in a 1999 hardcore match way, but way to short to amount to anything. More an angle than anything else. Savio vs Damian vs Havoc was as good a match you could expect from these three really, with old-ass Savio taking a superplex through a table (he's what, 55 ?), Havoc doing some actual funny stuff like sitting on a chair with thumbtacks then running the ropes holding his ass, total cartoon style. I guess we'll get Havoc vs Bestia 666 next week. The PPV is actually shaping up to be quite ok on paper, with several interesting matches like Tim Thatcher vs Tom Lawler, Dynasty vs Von Erich in a Texas Tornado match ("what is that, we can't wear shoes", dixit Hammerstone), Aries vs Teddy, Fatu vs LA Park. Warner vs Havoc could be either good in a disgusting way or totally suck. The six-men I really don't care at all (Gringo Loco makes sure of that). No women match on a US show really has an odd feel at this stage though. Best line of the week, Salina again, to Jimmy Havoc : "You like blood, what does that even means, you have your period ?"

And also maybe because it was a transparent move. Remember back then, the big talk was about how WWE was gonna break big into the India market, and this was the sole reason Jinder was pushed. They had those two "big" shows in India coming up, which ended up transforming into only one not so big show because the tickets weren't selling if I remember right. And that's the only reason why Jinder was pushed, really, after being a JTTS for his entire career. I know some people romanticize JBL's title reign, but I seem to remember at the time it was considered a miserable failure, JBL had been a tag team goon forever and no one really bought his push at the top. At least, Kofi got his "moment", because Daniel Bryan is so damn fantastic. But it was not even supposed to be him but Ali at first. He was an interchangeable peon in the machine. Like everybody else. The fact they will systematically squash anyone getting over "on his own" (wait, wasn't that the entire goal of pro-wrestling inner working ? Getting over to make the audience care and buy your shit ?) is the consequence of this mentality. Rusev & Lana could have been a super over upper-mid card/main event act at east twice since their debut. Look at where they at now. Yeah, let's humiliate Rusev, because that's how you get a babyface over, and split them, you never know, might be successful in fucking up their marriage IRL too, like it often happens. On the other hand, let's push Baron Corbin and Seth Rollins forever, even past the point of them being proven ratings/interest death. Why ? Because.

and never forget : "Brock is an attraction."

"We're telling a story." The problem with Kofi is that he was great for the Mania moment. But it made no sense to keep the title on him for much time afterward. It's like Luger winning the title from Hogan on Nitro. A great moment, and it was great in itself, but it had no other use.

Maravilla fucking Hamburgesa over never ever gets old. Poor guy got slapped by Mami too. I love Maravilla's theme music BTW, I wonder what it is (too lazy to search...) Fun match with these guys as usual. Although they don't give a flying fuck about selling, Maravilla got spiked on the apron and she was fine 30 seconds later, but I don't care, she's great anyway. Taurus vs Vikingo was amazing, as usual. Fenix vs Omega was MOTYC to me. Kinda hard to work that kind of match in front of the AAA crowd, but the fact they crowd was going wild at the end is a testament of just how great Omega is (Fenix is too, of course), he can get it done anywhere. Some brutal looking stuff here, and yeah, the busted nose added to the final stretch. How can they deliver such an awful, boring main event after these two matches ? And Psycho Clown's new theme has to be one of the most annoying ever. Then again, what was the last time Psycho Clown was involved in something half-decent ? Tritton showing up was cool. No Rush, no LA Park. Come on AAA, make some move. Also, next time I watch a AAA big show, I'll drink a shot every time I see some goof on the entrance or running down the ramp for some reason. It's like a running gag.

As I'm watching the AAA Immortales show, I just pictured WWE putting giant portrait of Vince and dragging his ashes on every show like AAA does with Pena's. And they could also have an hologram of Vince cutting promos and firing people. Yeah, I think I just saw he future !

The fact they cared enough about his comeback from leukemia to make a despicable angle about it (which played a part in Mox wanting to leave eventually) but not enough to try and make him the ultimate babyface they always wanted him to be before that point says everything about how dumb these people are.

The flipping of the bird/hit finisher on Pac this week was sooooo Steve Austin.