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El-P

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Everything posted by El-P

  1. That seemed so fresh and exciting at the time. No idea what I'd think about that now, but yeah, it was some damn good TV back then. Most fun I had watching WWF TV was during that time, up until SummerSlam 98.
  2. Never saw Perry Saturn without a stache. Feels oh so wrong. He kinda looks like a giant cock too. Which. Well. I probably shouldn't have said that though.
  3. No shit. He's getting a shoot interview contract yesterday.
  4. PPV 58 TNA, the company with the idiotic concepts, next episode. This week, the debut of the Ultimate X. Well, if we’re going for imbecilic stopfests, might as well go for broke. The whole concept makes it clear that the purpose is acrobatics to begin with, so it fits Chris Sabin, Micheal Shane & Frankie Kazarian. And… holy shit, it’s actually as fun as it is ridiculous ! Sabin shows good heeling, Shane bleeds bucket like his cousin would. Kazarian still sucks, but there’s enough stupid spots to make up for it and… the belt falls in the middle of the ring. Hilarious. The ref looks stupid for a few seconds before calling guys in the back to put it back up. More ridiculous action and… the belt falls again. This match had me rolling with laughter. And really, despite Kazarian sloppiness and poor instinct, I loved the ending with Shane rushing to the belt, which also means he steals the show. This may not be that stupid of a concept after all. Well, it is, but it could be really fun too. AMW vs Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger in a double bullrope match was decent but they didn’t use the gimmick that well, especially since a false finish involves a chairshot and the actual finish comes after a belt shot. You had those bells, you know… No blood, which kinda hurt a bit, but we already had Micheal Shane and Raven (in the requisite babyface beatdown opening segment) bleeding like pigs. Still, this feud has delivered every week thus far, and the heels stealing a win re-heats the whole thing. Another surprisingly good match with Legend & Chris Daniels vs Jeff Jarrett & Erik Watts. The heels works very well, I kinda like Legend as a less intense Rhyno rip-off. Daniels makes Jarrett look better than he is and Watts brings fire and big power spots. What the hell is happening this week ? Hey, babyface beatdown with Russo. Ok, back to shitty business. And an actual fun angle involving Sonny Siaki. What ? So he brings a casket at ringside to celebrate the death of D-Lo’s career and it’s obvious to anyone who’s ever watched wrestling how it is gonna end. Trinity is sporting a porn lingerie dress that would make Francine proud. Of course, D-Lo jumps out of the casket and locks both heels inside, to a huge pop. Hey ! A babyface getting the last laugh without any swerve ! Fun little segment. Julio & CM Punk vs the New Church, now Slash & Sinn (ex-furry boot JTTS of the previous week now full fledge member of the evil camp) was sloppy but pretty watchable, Alexis killing it again befire getting killed by Shane Douglas, who’s been a terrific heatseaking asshole. So, the final Gauntlet match to determine a N°1 CONTENDER must suck, right ? It must. Kid Kash, Ron Killings, okay… this will be boring before a clusterfuck final… except it doesn’t ! The only annoying part was Mad Mickey showing up at ringside. A true awful gimmick. But the match itself really built well, Jarrett not showing up after the beatdown, Abyss getting the Diesel push and looking good, finally, Daniels conforting his spot as the most reliable guy in the undercard, D-Lo going straight after Siaki like he should and Raven showing up last for a cool one on one final against Douglas, who’s really making for his lack of physicality with terrific facials and maneurisms. They have a cool little match and, holy shit, Raven wins clean and becomes the n°1 contender. Very good match, well booked with an excellent ending and the right guy winning like he should. Wait, am I watching TNA ? Maybe the best TNA show thus far, even the most ridiculous stuff ended up fun, no bad match nor awful segment, just a short Erik Watts sit-down interview which was quite dull, but he made up for it later during his match. And as a Scott Levy fan, I’m so glad I’m watching this stuff. TNA fucking rules after all ! For now. 2003/08/20 Chris Sabin vs Frankie Kazarian vs Micheal Shane 2003/08/20 AMW vs Simon Diamond & Swinger 2003/08/20 Jeff Jarrett & Erik Watts vs Legend & Christopher Daniels 2003/08/20 Gauntlet Match
  5. Well, I did say I was getting carried away! However, I do think there is a distinct shift from say, Dusty Rhodes the working class hero, standing up to the Man yet also looking out for others, making saves, mentoring young guys and Steve Austin, who stands up to the Man but essentially has no loyalty or empathy for anyone else. He did save Stephy from the deadly hands of Evil Taker though.
  6. So he should have come out to Tom Sawyer, not KVE.
  7. PPV 57 I guess a fine second half makes up for the stupidity. To jumpstart a single push, let’s have Elix Skipper lose clean again to Jerry Lynn in less that five minutes. That’s the third fall in a row. Match was fine for what it was. Is it possible to further kill the ladder match gimmick ? Yes. By having a N°1 contender match (remember how much TNA loves N°1 contender matches, when you don’t know how to book shit it’s an easy way out) in a ladder match. Yep. Isn’t that supposed to be the big gimmick match for the title ? Anyway. And then, have Micheal Shane and Frankie Kazarian do stupid spots and dives with no selling, stuntman show-style. And have Chris Sabin run in and screw up the match anyway. Kid Kash has another bad match, this time with Bobby Eaton who tries less than Ricky Morton so he doesn’t look as old. Still, this is going nowhere. Again. Well, this is going toward a match against Dusty I guess. So, yeah, nowhere. Let's have a TNA title match with former heel and SEX member Low-Ki returning as a babyface, insurring a dead crowd for a seriously excellent match against AJ Styles, the second best of the year after the tag team cage match. Exactly what TNA should be. These two know how to use their athleticism in a positive, creative but thought out way. More of this, please. But Ki returning as a babyface without any explanation just doesn’t cut it. AMW & Dusty vs Simon & Swinger & Gilberti was quite fun for what it was, those two teams really have a chemistry at this point and Dusty didn’t overworked himself. Gilberti is better in small doses and in a spot where he doesn’t think he’s Kurt Angle. Good stuff, and the feud continues next week. Never though Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger would actually have their moment of glory. Finally, Raven vs Shane Douglas was a perfect instance of getting the most out of the least. Douglas is awesome at getting across as an asshole and getting heat, which he did in spades, with Raven working wonderfully as a bloodied babyface. Douglas confronting a woman in the crowd was old-school gold. However, in term of timing and bumping, it’s obvious Douglas has lost quite a few steps as showed by a few blown spots. But really, as far as doing a heated brawl without doing much of anything, this was good. This is working, people. Jim Mitchell tricks Raven again and the white hand mystery man stuns Raven again. I’m intrigued and I enjoy this feud although Douglas is obviously not going to bring much physically anymore. Russo blabbing, Jarrett running in, more Mad Mickey awful vignettes, 3 Live Krew debuting against JTTS Vampire Warrior, Devon Storm and some furry pants tattoed guy named Sinn. And they’ll feud with white supremacist Harris Boys it seemed. Cool, more fast forward coming in. Raven vs Mitchell and AMW vs Gilberti’s boys are carrying the show. AJ Styles has no real challenger anymore since Jarrett will feud with Daniels it seems, which could get interesting in the ring but the angles promise to be as dull as ever. The X-div is doomed with these young spot monkeys, and the following week is the debut of Ultimate X. Here' hoping we get totally ridiculous with it. 2003/08/13 Raven vs Shane Douglas 2003/08/13 AMW & Dusty Rhodes vs Simon Diamond & Swinger & Glen Gilberti 2003/08/13 AJ Styles vs Low-Ki
  8. Maybe, but it's still a ridiculous name. You just get used to it. Can't help translating it and saying it with a quebec accent, it's even funnier : "Le grand spectacle !".
  9. WCW Nitro, the nWo wrecking havoc backstage at Disney.
  10. PPV 56 Total Nonstop Action has officialy stopped, as the sign used to say. For like twenty minutes, the time to set the cage up. So, to kill time, a very boring and long, looooong Chris Daniels promo, now completely into evil preacher mode in a way that reminds me of a mid-90’s WWF gimmick. Then Jeff Jarrett shows up to bore the audience even more. Seems like the two « red shirt » security guys are heels. How thrilling. AJ Styles vs D-Lo Brown was a pretty good cage match though, but it never got the time to build and the finish was both anticlimatic and kinda stupid, as Erik Watts pushed Russo, whom he was attached to via handcuffs, into the cage, making D-Lo fall from the top and crash down to a loss. Watts, the Head of Authority, looked like an idiot. Best match of the show was another gimmick match (never ever enough on one show, remember ?), AMW vs Simon Diamond & Swinger in a Rawhide Strap match, whatever that is. Beats the Yappapi version anyway. Really good stuff. Swinger is actually pretty good for the first time in his career as his pretty pedestrian offense just looks fine in a context where he simply has to heel up and get heat instead of trying to work highspots like he was in ECW or in various cruiserweight divisions. Diamond & Swinger lose again but they steal the belts. Later on, AMW beatdown, because every babyface has to get beaten down, every week. That’s never boring, you see. Even the best angle how the show ended up with babyface Raven getting a beatdown too. But cool stuff, as Raven, for the first time of his career, shows actual empathy and chooses to go save his Gathering friends instead of « finishing » Shane Douglas. Strong promos by Douglas & Mitchell again too. This is the best feud in the company and I like the fact the Raven character actually matures as a babyface. Rest of the show, well, a nothing spotmatch between Micheal Shane, Danny Doring, Joey Matthews (it’s an ECW Reunion show at this point) and Shark Boy until Elix Skipper just beats them all (so WCW), after what Micheal Shane pins the three guys in succession. So ironic the way this guy gets pushed. As I feared, more Kid Kash vs legends, this time Larry Z. in a pretty bad match with usual Abyss run-in. Crowds chants « Get a walker ! » to Larry, who then proceed to mimick using a walker to make fun out of them. Larry looked quite decent overall. Funny how today, he would get a « You’ve still got it chants ». But these were still the ECW/smarks assholes crowds. Frankie Kazarian almost wins the X-div title on a shit finish, with a pissing contest between three referees. The match with Chris Sabin was a bit better than usual, but it’s still pretty much video-game wrestling with poor selling and transitions. I really won’t care at all about the X-div if it gets filled with these kind of indy guys. 3 Live Kru in the trailer park stalked by a white trash perv and awful Attitude Era like vignette for Mad Mickey, whom I hoped he was a one shot. All the downtimes meant we had tons of Lollipop’s ass this week. Just realized that the other cage dancer was April, the « bad girlfriend » of Brian Lawler. 2003/08/06 AJ Styles vs D-Lo Brown 2003/08/06 AMW vs Simon Diamond & Swinger
  11. Pretty much what I thought. Remember Lenny Lane, cruiserweight jobber in WCW becoming just Lenny as soon as he became effeminate ? Same thing. And yeah, the amazingly fake non-gimmicky names are awful for the most part.
  12. The Warrior crap was easily some of the worst wrestling-TV ever this side of Russo. Everything sucked, the promos, the angles, the matches. Godawful stuff. The idea that they would have run him against a bunch of other people in WCW is horrendous. His 96 comeback was already totally useless. Warrior was done after SummerSlam 92.
  13. What about "Billy & Chuck" being called, well, Billy & Chuck ?
  14. So, Ponzi scheme anyone ? Of so, then Jarrett truly deserves a place in the pro-wrestling hall of fame, he's carny as hell. This GWF deal has been shady since day one.
  15. He was Sid only in 1997. But at this point like you said, it was because he was such a huge star that he could be referred as his first name only. Well, there was also the infamous Sycho Sid. That spelling was brutal.
  16. The Quebecers : Jacques & Pierre. I swear it sounds so amazingly dull and ridiculous in French. The tag team champion of the world : Pierre ! Wait ? Pierre who ? At least he had a whole name when he became a pirate (I loved the pirate gimmick and vignettes). Eugene was a first name only guy. Want to ponder why ?
  17. D-Lo has looked very good, but he doesn't have the best matches because of booking. As an old ECW fan, Jerry Lynn was the hook for me, and he hasn't disappointed to say the least. His stock only went up. PPV 55 Would you believe the Jeff Jarrett match was basically the worst part of a decent PPV ? Of course you would. His double pole matche against Legend wasn’t bad per say, but had no psychology and poor selling and transitions. Plus, in case of doubts during a main event, send Sonny Siaki. And tease that the security guy is against Jarrett too. And have Jarrett kick out of a baseball bat in the face and out of Legend’s finisher too. Meanwhile, Jarrett hits his own finisher twice, including from the tope rope (picture the awfulness of *that* move) and does *not* cover the guy, so he doesn't kick out of it. Jarrett is one hell of a carny, a match against HHH is the ultimate dream-match that’ll never happen. Anyway, Jarrett wins but no time for celebration, as we get a Jarrett Beatdown©, this time by Chris Daniels. Hey, I want to see what Daniels can do with Jarrett. Raven & Julio & Alexis vs Douglas & New Church was sloppy and messy as hell, but the gimmick kinda asks for it, especially since it was actually nicely structured for such a chaotic match, with a long beatdown on the babyfaces, then Alexis actually turning things over before a hot comeback. Raven is *over*. And he gets dragged under the ring by this white arm again and gets pinned when he’s dumped back on the floor. Poor finish aside, this was pretty fun. Alexis impresses the hell out of me with her bumping and offense. I'll miss her. Another nice surprise, Chris Sabin vs Micheal Shane was actually quite good, despite the guest ref Kazarian, who really didn’t play a big role except to assure a fuck finish where bad ref Rudy Charles looks like a complete idiot again. Shane’s identity is basically « He’s the cousin of Shawn Micheals », down to the awful pun name. I guess that’s why he gets a title shot in his very first match too. He’s green, but he’s way better than Kazarian and doesn’t do that many awkard looking indieriffic spots, so Sabin, who’s got a lot of potential, has a good night. Of course, selling and transition are dubious, but it was a nice action match. Jerry Lynn vs Elix Skipper was pretty good, if oddly booked with Lynn beating Skipper in 10 seconds only for Skipper to ask for a 2/3 falls, and getting beat again. Skipper in solo is really exposed though. And his push is dead apparently. Simon Diamond & Swinger beating JTTS team of Shark Boy & Norman Smiley (New Jack is history) works for me. We need some hierarchy and build toward another match against AMW. Kid Kash vs Ricky Morton looked ok for a few minutes, Morton even does a terrific suicide dive, but after a while he shows his age by not being able to accomplish what he wants to do (frankensteiner from the top rope was not a good idea at all). I hope we don’t get Kid Kash against other old timers though. This is such a tired idea. In other news, AJ Styles kinda swerves D-Lo into thinking he’s got respect for him, building to a cage match for next week, and Edward Chastain is downsized after his loss to Sandman. Even more 3 Live Kru bad comedy and catfights. Lollipop sounds so southern. I’ll miss that girl when they’ll get rid of the cage dancers. Pretty decent show overall with almost no Russo (some useless interview bits) and some actual build toward bigger matches. 2003/07/30 Jerry Lynn vs Elix Skipper 2003/07/30 Chris Sabin vs Micheal Shane 2003/07/30 Raven & Julio & Alexis vs Shane Douglas & Brian Lee & Slash
  18. Probably not. Although I was always annoyed at the girls often never having a last name. That being said, I find it ridiculous for guys too, worst being Christian. I mean, Christian ? Maybe it's because it's a french first name too that it sounds ridiculously dull and familiar without a last name. Well, the exact same thing could be said for Charlotte (again, French sounding name). Charlotte ? That's not a star name. Becky Lynch, Sasha Banks, Trish Stratus, ok. But, Emma ? Tracy ? Naomi ? Why don't they get last names ? I can get it when it's a nickname that sounds like one aka Sable or Chyna. But when it's just a plain first name, the fact women often would get the "no last name" treatment is telling. Especially when guys are usually reduced to their last name : Goldberg, Batista etc..
  19. Yes. I find it totally ridiculous and snobish to be pertecly honest. There are so much more important issues like actual social equality and such. You don't like your name ? Change it. You're not a name. That being said, I'm a denatalist and don't ever want to have a kid, so what do I know.
  20. That's pretty rich indeed. PPV 54 Built around a 2/3 falls match between AJ Styles & D-Lo Brown, each with a different stip, because we can’t get enough gimmick matches on one show. Well the two first falls were pinfall only then submission only, worked at separate times. If you take the match as a whole, with the third part being a ladder match, it was good, especially the last fall. "Pinfall only" was pretty spotty with a screwjob finish (Siaki run-in, wait, so what’s the use for Trinity now ?). "Submission only" was pretty good, especially D-Lo’s selling, but the finish was abrupt and came from nowhere. And the ladder match was well worked, mostly big spots though, including an insane frogplash from the top of the ladder through a table outside. And a Siaki run-in. And… oh shit, they managed to fuck up the ladder match gimmick by having both guy falling down holding the belt at the same time. Nice job. AMW vs Simond Diamond & Swinger was pretty good also, probably leading to a strap match next week. Because you can’t have enough gimmick matches etc… Douglas & the New Church vs Raven & CM Punk & Julio was decent, leading to a Clockwork Orange House of Fun 6-men next week, because you can’t have enough gimmick match etc… Raven got grabbed by a giant white hand backstage at one point. My guess is that they signed the Yetay. The dull, boring, ok, let's say awful Legend vs Jeff Jarrett feuds keeps on delivering the goods as far as getting interest from no one. Next week : guitar & baseball bat on a pole match. Because you can’t have etc… Erik Watts is actually « Eric from WCW », so he’s the new Head of Authority, revealed after a segment where Kid Kash insulted a bunch of legends (including Harley Race, Larry Z., Ricky Morton). They really must not trust his wrestling at all, he barely had any match. Don Callis as the managerial capitalist shithead who considers that « Customers don’t know what they want. » could be pretty decent, but it really is nothing but a twist on his shitty Network ECW gimmick. More 3 Live Kru (not sure how to spell it, really) poor comedy in the street, this time in the hood, more awful catfights and more Sting talking about christianity. They sure milked than Sting interview to the max, but he's not coming back so it's time to end it. They’re trying to push Elix Skipper as a single wrestler, which isn’t working very well, as he’s much better in tags. Bringing in « This is the guy know as Crash Holly in the WWE » to job to him while salivating over Mad Mikey (awful gimmick, with complete nondescript outfit and poor performance to boot) 's great career over there wasn’t a bright idea either. Some decent programs in the undercard, and Raven is really over as a babyface, but the booking is awful, as showed by the shitty match endings on a weekly basis. 2003/07/23 AMW vs Simon Diamond & Swinger 2003/07/23 AJ Styles vs D-Lo Brown
  21. Not supposed to. "The creatives have nothing for you". Modern pro-wrestling still kinda suck, you know. Where can he go ? Lucha Underground ? TNA ?
  22. I guess there were two reasons for Zack's win at Mania: (1) to open the show with a huge surprise and (2) so that the non-wrestlers could get their WM bonuses betting on Ryder. Yea I said this right after Mania and not at all in a joking way. He was like dead last in the odds until the day before when he suddenly became the favorite which to me says everyone who was in the know put money on him. Isn't this illegal ?
  23. That's why I have no nostalgy for my childhood, as happy as it was (and yes, I remember this guy).
  24. And yet, all this "gym culture" and cult of the body went along with a sexualization of the body too, body that is always fitter and younger-looking, and therefore, more sexually desirable. So as always, there was a good bit of hypocrisy. When I was in movie school, I put a few words about pro-wrestling on one of my papers, about how the body shape evolved from the 80's and the steroid muscle über-males to the smooth, sliding ones in the 90's (Micheals, of course) and made a comparison with the Hollywood action cinema of the Schwarzys and Slys to the new figure of the 90's which was Keanu Reeves, with his much flexible body and movies like Speed (doh) and of course the Matrix. I thought it was a bit ridiculous but got a really good grade because of it.
  25. Interesting, I never heard about that before. This whole hygienism mentality, which very much anglo-saxon. Ah, those people who take the time to brush their teeth before having sex... About Springsteen, the use of "Born in the USA" was totally ill-advised in pro-wrestling, as in pretty much anywhere else. It's like people just didn't pay attention to the story and thought it was a patriotic song.
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