[1993-01-23-WCW-Saturday Night] White Castle of Fear

[Loss]

Talk about it here.

[Loss]

"Sting accepted an invitation to a party ... at the WHITE CASTLE OF FEAR in the Rocky Mountains."

 

This is hilarious, as Sting keeps suspecting something is up and Vader keeps being interspersed while being obviously covered in fake snow.

 

The party takes place in a cave with a bunch of women trying to feed him food sexually ... or something.

 

Cheatum the Evil Midget makes a cameo, screaming that Sting should play the game.

 

Sting: "YOU again!"

 

Sting: "Vader, nice place you have here. Reminds me of your personality, COLD."

 

Oooh.

 

They both attach a strap and suddenly, there's a fire as they have a tug-o-war and synth music plays. Sting almost gets pulled into the fire.

 

What happens? Well, it's TO BE CONTINUED at SuperBrawl III.

 

I won't complain about this too much, but wow is this terrible.

[benj]

Wow, just wow.

 

This was probably something my mom saw me watching and would roll her eyes and wonder why I watch that stuff.

 

Harley Race evil laughing, Vader's robe, midgets with eye-patches, not sexy lair girls eating apples, Sting's acting, and fake snow is why I watch THAT stuff, fucking awesome.

[Jkeats]

"Where is this Castle of Fear, anyways?"

 

A line so poorly written and delivered it had to be used twice within the segment.

 

Not to mention, Sting stepping through the doorway, backlit, with his Vanilla Ice outfit and striking the Superman hands on hips pose.

 

I also liked the helicopter pilot's voiceover (we've located the castle) that sounded like something right off a ride at Disney

[El-P]

Hopefully the 95 yearbook will include "It's not hot ! / There are no Hulkamaniacs here !".

[Jkeats]

Play the GAAAAME!

[Matt D]

This is the very, very tail end of Watts, right? I just wonder how THAT meeting went.

[BackToBionic]

I like the notion that Vader goes through all the trouble to lure him in for THAT. I feel like he could have convinced Sting to have a Tug o War in any arena in the country. I would've been so relieved if I was Sting, but also annoyed because, I mean, I rented a helicopter for this.

[El-P]

So terrible it's great. Cheatum the eveil midget is back, his "play the game" line is actually edited twice. Vader's harem looks pretty cool. Harley Race is a godawful actor (which doesn't surprise me, he's a shitty promo anyway). This is so early 90's cheesy.

[Zenjo]

Cheatum is a legend. He should've been a regular on TV. OK maybe not.

 

The part that made me laugh most was the "Vader" chants, but the whole thing was pretty awesome. That "Cold" line was an absolute killer put-down.

[Kevin Ridge]

Fantastic! Harley's lines/acting is so over the top bad. Vader and Sting have a impromptu tug of war with a strap. There will be a strap match at Superbrawl. I don't know if this would sell me on buying the PPV but it sure gave me a good laugh.

[PeteF3]

We get a penetrating internal monologue from Sting, as we hear the doubts and fears belied by his Up Close promo. This is interspersed with Vader yapping with packing peanuts snow falling over him.

 

"Where is this Castle of Fear, anyway?" Jesus, that's the kind of thing you want to find out before leaving in the helicopter. "Where is this Castle of Fear?" "STING, I'VE SPOTTED THE WHITE CASTLE." I live a few miles from White Castle headquarters but this doesn't really look like Columbus. Vader's in a harem or something as chicks eat apples seductively, if that's possible. They point out that "he's here," yet ten seconds later when Sting walks in, Cheatum and the others excitedly point out again, "HE'S HERE! HE'S HERE!" Vader screams so loudly he shatters a mirror. Sting's putdown is bad enough, but he makes up for it with one of the worst deliveries in the history of cinema. Vader challenges Sting to a strap match, VADER-STYLE, and is about to pull him into some randomly appearing flames, when the strap explodes.

 

TO BE CONTINUED...AT SUPERBRAWL III.

 

This was the first WCW PPV I ever ordered, and it WASN'T because of this. Holy crap, this made Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal look good. And before the year's out it's going to get worse!

[WingedEagle]

Sting gets on a chopper to go to the rocky mountains, and Arnold isn't there to scream "GET TO THE CHOPPER!" Strike one. Then we get deep thoughts from Sting during the video, which is high comedy. The pilot informs Sting that he's spotted the White Castle. No hamburgler or pilot's license is provided though. Strike two. Then we get a spread right out of game of thrones with an old school feast, women and Vader's headpiece, which has a prominent seat at the table. Because what good is a world champion heel if he doesn't accessorize for every occasion? Let's not forget our midget. So all of that was necessary to set up a strap match. How about instead we pocket the 6 figures, have Vader lay out Sting on WCWSN with Race tossing him a strap to use and call it a day?

[soup23]

Not much to add except this is hilariously bad although I will admit to finding the synth music as catchy with Cheatum and the girls chanting Vader, Vader.

[Superstar Sleeze]

This was hilariously awful. Sting and Harley were just so horrible to was hilarious and the cuts were so random and weird. Why were so many things repeated? Sting do you know what a strap match is? LOL! I loved Vader's robe though legitimately.

[WingedEagle]

One thing I'll add here -- growing up in New York, we didn't have White Castle anywhere but on TV. This shit put it over the top that I had to make my way there and get some burgers. Somehow didn't happen till college.

[Superstar Sleeze]

I first read about this angle on wrestlecrap in the early 2000s. It was definitely a standout angle that sounded humorous. When Harold & Kumar went to White Castle, I was so confused. I was old enough to know they couldn't possibly looking to enter Vader's lair, but having no idea it was a burger joint I was amused at the idea. Never seen the movie or been to the Restaruant.

 

If I ever worked at a White Castle, I would end all customer orders with "Do you know what a strap match is?"

[garretta]

I wonder how much this suffers because it's WCW, the so-called "pure sports" promotion, doing it. This really wouldn't be too far out of place in the WWF, and might even have been a step above the usual Memphis music video, which by now features clips that are almost ten years old more often than not. That said, a Sting-Vader tug-of-war in the ring at Center Stage with the strap might have gotten the point across in a more Watts-like fashion. I think that they wanted to go out of their way to avoid too much blood and violence before the pay-per-view, and this is the way they chose to do it.

 

There's no real sense in breaking this down artistically or anything; no one in this piece is going to be a serious contender for an Oscar or an Emmy any time soon. One thing I'm struck by, though, is how out-of-place Harley's becoming. Vader's handling himself quite well on the stick lately, and physically interfering has to be getting more difficult for Harley as he gets older. Hearing someone like him reduced to one horribly delivered line in some negative double-Z grade action-adventure spoof is truly embarrassing. I've seen the odd clip of Flair during more recent times, and as pathetic as his attempts to be the Nature Boy of the eighties are, they're still more respectable than this, because at least we know what he's out there for whether we think he should be doing it or not. There's literally no reason on earth for Harley to be within a million miles of this, even if he is Vader's manager.

 

I hope whoever wrote and directed this has gone far beyond it in recent years. If they haven't, they've chosen the wrong professions.