NWA-TNA 2003 aka a passive-agressive way to deal with depression

[NotJayTabb]

Back in 2003, that tag cage match was THE hyped TNA match online. My first ever exposure to TNA was buying a VHS of that week and the following week just because I wanted to see the cage bout.

[SomethingSavage]

I'd probably be considered a bigger TNA fan than most around here, but I never could get into this era of the company. There's just a lot of garbage to get through.

I remember a few things being decent, but I haven't gone back to watch any of it since probably '07 or '08.

Do any of the Credible/Lynn matches hold up? I recall them having a series - and specifically a Chain Match at some point.

 

The whole Raven "destiny" saga was neat overall, but it was actually executed better down the road when Vampiro, Shane Douglas, etc. eventually got involved. At least, that was my impression in the moment at that time. Again, I couldn't tell ya how well that stuff holds up.

 

I may need to go back and read this thread from the start to give my memory a jolt, because there's zero chance of me watching it back for myself.

Fairly big TNA fan at times - sure. But I prefer to cherry pick the matches and leave it at that.

 

You, sir, are a brave soul. A regular scholar and a saint for your contributions here.

[Stiva]

I remember those Shark Boy and New Jack skits becoming funnier and funnier until they dropped it.

[El-P]

The Lynn vs Credible matches have been fine thus far. Just too short.

 

Enjoy it while it lasts, people.

 

PPV 51

 

Shane Douglas is the best promo in the company already. The fact he can't rely on F-bombs surely helps him focusing and not go into self-parody like in the end of the ECW stint and what followed in the indies. Since they teased a Raven vs Sabu feud that never happened, I want my other ECW dream match, although Shane's in-work looks rough at times. Good little Clockwork House of Fun match against CM Punk though, who's trying to impress Raven.

 

On the other hand, the Jarrett and Russo segment was awful. Jarrett sounds so third rate on the mic following Douglas, and Russo is simply unbearable. Hey, more big surprise with... Joe Legend from WWF fame. What ? Joe Legend ? WWF fame ? Anyway, brutal beatdown on Jarrett, split blood and shit, but no one cares. Turn him heel already.

 

Wait, some really good stuff from AJ Styles again, having a good match against Frankie Kazarian. Styles impresses the hell out of me, he managed to get the best out of Frankie who's a sloppy indy spot monkey. His heeling is excellent, he slows the pace down, teases a dive to piss off the crowd, builds hope spots and then bumps like crazy to make Kazarian offense look big time. Amazing how far this guy has come in one year. Runs-in from Chris Sabin & heel Trinity (no explanation of course, but there really can't be any that would make sense). And Kazarian, since he's green and stupid, tucks his chin before the Styles CLash, so he gets dropped straight on his head and neck. Scary spot. Post match was efficient enough in building the title match against D-Lo, which will be a transitionnal feud on top I guess.

 

AMW had a pretty poor match against David Young & Sonny Siaki. Where is Desire ? She was the only element that brought these guys any character. AMW work too fast here and go through too many spots. Too many nearfalls too, no sense of hierarchy. Not a good showing.

 

Sandman vs New Jack in a stupid Hard Ten match, hopefully the last ever. New Jack thrown off balcony into table, how shocking.

 

Mike Sanders vs Shark Boy in a mediocre little match. Konnan, Ron Killings & BG James seem reduced to a comedy trio, making fashion statements.

 

Tracy & Nurse Veronica challenging guys and getting Lollipop and her ass-shaking friend instead. Lollipop looks even hotter when she's not dancing BTW. What a girl. She also showed concern for Jerry Lynn who got beat up by Justin Credible after their Russian Chain match (well, Dog Collar match actually, but Russo is too dumb to know the difference), which they worked really well actually. Well, I give a lot of credit to Jerry Lynn who reminds me that he's really versatile and knows how to work a good brawl too. Nice surprise this match, and Credible is still quite solid too.

 

Funniest match of the night was Erik Watts vs The Abyss (as Bret Hart named him I guess). Introducing your monster against a guy who's almost taller than him is the greatest idea ever. Add the the fact he got powerbombed from the top rope already. His finisher is the oddest too, like a reverse Big Bubba side slam where he's the one running into his opponent and then acting like the momentum comes from the other body. Dunno how to describe the oddness of it. The Abyss really does look like the exact cross between Mankind & Kane, only with a third rate generic look. I think I'm gonna love getting into The Abyss. Goldilocks seems to be gone, which is too bad, I kinda liked her, she wasn't taking shit from the boys.

 

Sting gets to do some kind of shoot interview with Tenay, talking about his career, which is nice, although I'm not sure he's coming back anytime soon.

 

Douglas is a more than welcome addition. Everything involving Jarrett sucks because he's basically feuding with Russo. Mexican legend Negro Casas and Shocker are coming next week. Tequila on the pole anyone ?

 

2003/07/02 Shane Douglas vs CM Punk
2003/07/02 AJ Styles vs Frankie Kazarian

2003/07/02 Jerry Lynn vs Justin Credible

[Phil Schneider]

Negro Casas worked TNA? I have no memory of that at all

[NotJayTabb]

Spoilered, so as not to ruin a 13yr old show for El-P

 

 

He didn't - TNA fucked up the visa

 

[gordi]

Yeah, that is kind of the forgotten cage match between AMW and XXX, because of the much more famous one from December 2004 with the cage walk, but this one is just as good a match, and like you said it might be the first truly great match in company history.

 

 

Back in 2003, that tag cage match was THE hyped TNA match online. My first ever exposure to TNA was buying a VHS of that week and the following week just because I wanted to see the cage bout.

 

 

Wow. Thanks for the recommendation, Jerome, NotJay, and Jimmy! I've seen (and enjoyed) the famous "six sides of steel" match, but I had never seen this one. Damned fine match. Plus, watching it on youtube, the next match that autoplayed was the Batista v Kali Punjabi Prison match. Watched that one, too. Jerome, brother: I watched the Punjabi Prison Match. I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!

[El-P]

That'll teach you to let Youtube on autoplay. And no, I'm never going to watch Batista vs Great Khali in a Punjabi Prison Match. Ever. Talking about pain...

 

PPV 52

 

The bad is so terrible that it’s hard to focus on the good. Russo as a performer on TV is kinda like herpes. Disguised as Jeff Jarrett circa 95 in a long, awful segment ending with yet another brutal beatdown by Joe Legend "of WWE fame" (that cracks me up every time) on Jarrett. The crowd doesn’t give a fuck, and neither do I.

 

And then, Russo-in-a-cage during the good but too short AJ Styles vs D-Lo Brown main event, a cage from which even I could have gotten out of. Russo in those wrestling tights is a pretty repulsive sight too. Anyway, the match itsef again showed how amazing Styles is in term of athleticism and inventing spots that are actually cool, like sliding under the metalic barricades outside. D-Lo’s execution is top notch too at this point, but this was very much an excellent short Nitro main event. Trinity is now back doing the man’s duties so she did a twisting moonsault on D-Lo. Russo trying to have sex with the cage where they put D-Lo in at the end was nightmarish. No wonder this guy has issues with women if he fucks that way.

 

The opener was pretty good too, AMW vs Simon Diamond & Swinger in what was probably Swinger’s best match ever (false praise). I’d say they still overdo the nearfalls a bit at the end, but Diamond & Swinger are supposed to be tag team specialists with an experience edge, plus the escalation worked. AMW still go through spots too quickly at times. Slow down a bit people, especially you Storm.

 

Shane Douglas vs Julio was decent, but Douglas should not do sprints where he has to run between spots, he really looks out of shape doing it. He should settle into an Ole Anderson pacing. Julio is very much spotty, but as a JTTS match pushing the veteran, it worked. Douglas is using the belly-to-belly finisher again, not a good idea, the Pittsburgh Plunge was so much better. Alexis again takes some hard bumps and a fireball in the face from James Mitchell, who cut a very good promo ealier on with Tenay, basically deriding Raven for being a rich kid whiner playing with the Darkside, while he’s the real deal. Quite articulate.

 

Jerry Lynn vs Kid Kash, not too good, way too rushed and Kash didn’t bring much to the match except being dressed like Lynn circa 98, which the announcers didn’t even notice. It was also the second time in the show that idea was used, after Russo cosplaying in Jarrett circa 95. Shows the level of attention to details these guys have, which is about zero. The Abyss gets a hurricanrana from the top rope. Yep. This is your monster, being bumped like a bitch every week. He already has no monster aura left.

 

Bad matches involving one HarrisS vs Shark Boy, a multi-man cluster X-div with a bunch of indy guys that have no idea how to work followed by Sabin vs Kazarian in another yawner. This X-division needs an anchor who knows how to fucking work, and Sabin in single hasn’t proved me that.

 

More Sting interview, more Tracy & Veronika vs Lollipop teasing. And the debut of Don Callis and some guy looking like Paul Neu crashing the Sandman’s Hard Ten Cup ceremony. So, Callis is playing some corporate asshole like he was in ECW. I like the guy, but the Network stuff was pretty back then, and of course, Russo being clueless, it seems like he’s just redoing the same gimmick. We’ll see.

 

Goldilock is gone. Hudson is in. He's good, but I'll miss Goldie.

The two Mexican guys promised last week didn’t show up.

Konnan, Killings & James which are 3 Live Krew did another parody, this time of a broadcast team, and they actually plugged WWE’s next PPV. Yes. In a deriding way, as Setphy vs Sable sounds awful indeed, but still. They plugged the PPV of the N°1 company, while they aren’t doing any money at all. Vince Russo.

 

2003/07/09 AMW vs Simon Diamond & Swinger
2003/07/09 AJ Styles vs D-Lo Brown

[Gutenberger]

How in the world did this company ever even halfway successful?

[Matt D]

How in the world did this company ever even halfway successful?

That's the big question, isn't it.

[El-P]

PPV 53

 

Pathetic even by TNA’s standart. A bunch of horrible stuff involving Russo, Jarrett, Legend & D-Lo, with beatdowns on the babyfaces galore. This stuff is killing the main event scene and AJ’s reign.

 

A bunch of awful undercard crap including the debut of Edward Chastain, the fat Mantaur look-alike who sadly got Norman Smiley to put him over. And Don Callis is infact doing the same corporate gimmick he was doing in ECW. How creative by Russo.

 

The X-division is officialy turning into indieriffic spot-monkeys heaven, with another bad Sabin vs Kazarian match. Sabin looks like big potential and Kazarian at least sold his injured ribs, but every move he does has to be contrived and over-complicated. He must have learned to work by watching RVD, as judged by his hairdoo. The finish was amazingly shitty too, with idiot referee coming from the back to reverse a decision. Of course everyone is cheating all the time but nothing never happens, except *there*. Just because people don't expect it, I guess.

 

Another awful finish kinda ruined the only good match of the show, a Last Man Standing match between Jerry Lynn & Justin Credible. Credible’s setups for moves is pretty shaky at times, as he anticipates too much, but I like the fact they didn’t rush through pinfalls like idiots because of the gimmick. The pinfalls actually only occured after credible (and Lynn’s too) finishers. Good bloodletting with nice selling, but the finish made no sense as BOTH GOT UP before ten, Lynn just pulled Credible down and the ref still counted ten. But BOTH WERE STANDING YOU DUMB FUCK !

 

Anyway. More catfight incoming with another porn actress-like costume, this time a schoolgirl. BTW, Tracy and her girls are called Bitchslap. Yeah. Classy. Well, Tracy isn't here anymore actually, so I guess that's why the schoolgirl, as this was kinda Tracy's gimmick.

 

More useless comedy by 3 Live Krew, this time in the streets making fun of rednecks I guess. Kid Kash called Trinity and Goldilocks « working rats ». Yeah, Goldilock was back along Eric Watts who said « Eric from WCW » was gonna be there the following week. And Goldi said she doesn’t wear panties. Don’t ask.

 

In his interview segment, Sting basically said that Ric Flair carried him in 1990. How long before « He’s not following the script, what are they gonna do, improvise ? » angles ?

 

The only decent segment was Raven doing a super babyface run-in on Simon & Swinger who were beating on AMW only to get a beatdown himself from Douglas & the Disciples. With Brian Lee in the ring, I half-expected a Thriple Threat chant.

 

Terrible, terrible show, the booking is killing everybody at this point, with a beatdown every twenty minutes. Raven vs Douglas is the only feud I look forward to even though Douglas looks pretty rough physically.

 

2003/07/16 Jerry Lynn vs Justin Credible.

[Jingus]

A bunch of awful undercard crap including the debut of Edward Chastain, the fat Mantaur look-alike who sadly got Norman Smiley to put him over.

This made even less sense than you know. Backstory: Edward Chastain is the real name of motherfuckin' Iceberg, a Southern indy worker out of NWA Wildside. 'Berg was a hardcore monster, basically like an Akebono who would happily bleed all over the place and fall through tables. His gimmick was basically that he was a serial killer, and his special weapon was a fucking sickle. He was a guy who was legit 500 pounds but would still do the occasional bump off the top turnbuckle.

 

And so of course TNA took one look at this guy, and said "we should book this man with an anti-hardcore gimmick and say that he's here to crusade against garbage wrestling. Also, for some reason it's mandatory to call him by his goofy-sounding shoot name." It hurt his character so badly in his home promotions that they had to scramble him into a babyface turn, with his eeeeeeeevil manager Jeff G. Bailey turning on his former client in disgust over how badly TNA had sabotaged the one-time unstoppable monster.

[Gutenberger]

So not only is TNA runing themselves, but also ruining wrestlers for other promotions... Well done, well done.

[El-P]

That's pretty rich indeed.

 

PPV 54

 

Built around a 2/3 falls match between AJ Styles & D-Lo Brown, each with a different stip, because we can’t get enough gimmick matches on one show. Well the two first falls were pinfall only then submission only, worked at separate times. If you take the match as a whole, with the third part being a ladder match, it was good, especially the last fall. "Pinfall only" was pretty spotty with a screwjob finish (Siaki run-in, wait, so what’s the use for Trinity now ?). "Submission only" was pretty good, especially D-Lo’s selling, but the finish was abrupt and came from nowhere. And the ladder match was well worked, mostly big spots though, including an insane frogplash from the top of the ladder through a table outside. And a Siaki run-in. And… oh shit, they managed to fuck up the ladder match gimmick by having both guy falling down holding the belt at the same time. Nice job.

 

AMW vs Simond Diamond & Swinger was pretty good also, probably leading to a strap match next week. Because you can’t have enough gimmick matches etc…

 

Douglas & the New Church vs Raven & CM Punk & Julio was decent, leading to a Clockwork Orange House of Fun 6-men next week, because you can’t have enough gimmick match etc… Raven got grabbed by a giant white hand backstage at one point. My guess is that they signed the Yetay.

 

The dull, boring, ok, let's say awful Legend vs Jeff Jarrett feuds keeps on delivering the goods as far as getting interest from no one. Next week : guitar & baseball bat on a pole match. Because you can’t have etc…

 

Erik Watts is actually « Eric from WCW », so he’s the new Head of Authority, revealed after a segment where Kid Kash insulted a bunch of legends (including Harley Race, Larry Z., Ricky Morton). They really must not trust his wrestling at all, he barely had any match.

 

Don Callis as the managerial capitalist shithead who considers that « Customers don’t know what they want. » could be pretty decent, but it really is nothing but a twist on his shitty Network ECW gimmick.

 

More 3 Live Kru (not sure how to spell it, really) poor comedy in the street, this time in the hood, more awful catfights and more Sting talking about christianity. They sure milked than Sting interview to the max, but he's not coming back so it's time to end it.

 

They’re trying to push Elix Skipper as a single wrestler, which isn’t working very well, as he’s much better in tags. Bringing in « This is the guy know as Crash Holly in the WWE » to job to him while salivating over Mad Mikey (awful gimmick, with complete nondescript outfit and poor performance to boot) 's great career over there wasn’t a bright idea either.

 

Some decent programs in the undercard, and Raven is really over as a babyface, but the booking is awful, as showed by the shitty match endings on a weekly basis.

 

2003/07/23 AMW vs Simon Diamond & Swinger
2003/07/23 AJ Styles vs D-Lo Brown

[Gregor]

The hardest part for me about getting into new promotions is finding a hook. If I ever try to make a foray into TNA, it will probably start with D'Lo Brown matches.

[El-P]

D-Lo has looked very good, but he doesn't have the best matches because of booking. As an old ECW fan, Jerry Lynn was the hook for me, and he hasn't disappointed to say the least. His stock only went up.

 

PPV 55

 

Would you believe the Jeff Jarrett match was basically the worst part of a decent PPV ? Of course you would. His double pole matche against Legend wasn’t bad per say, but had no psychology and poor selling and transitions. Plus, in case of doubts during a main event, send Sonny Siaki. And tease that the security guy is against Jarrett too. And have Jarrett kick out of a baseball bat in the face and out of Legend’s finisher too. Meanwhile, Jarrett hits his own finisher twice, including from the tope rope (picture the awfulness of *that* move) and does *not* cover the guy, so he doesn't kick out of it. Jarrett is one hell of a carny, a match against HHH is the ultimate dream-match that’ll never happen. Anyway, Jarrett wins but no time for celebration, as we get a Jarrett Beatdown©, this time by Chris Daniels. Hey, I want to see what Daniels can do with Jarrett.

 

Raven & Julio & Alexis vs Douglas & New Church was sloppy and messy as hell, but the gimmick kinda asks for it, especially since it was actually nicely structured for such a chaotic match, with a long beatdown on the babyfaces, then Alexis actually turning things over before a hot comeback. Raven is *over*. And he gets dragged under the ring by this white arm again and gets pinned when he’s dumped back on the floor. Poor finish aside, this was pretty fun. Alexis impresses the hell out of me with her bumping and offense. I'll miss her.

 

Another nice surprise, Chris Sabin vs Micheal Shane was actually quite good, despite the guest ref Kazarian, who really didn’t play a big role except to assure a fuck finish where bad ref Rudy Charles looks like a complete idiot again. Shane’s identity is basically « He’s the cousin of Shawn Micheals », down to the awful pun name. I guess that’s why he gets a title shot in his very first match too. He’s green, but he’s way better than Kazarian and doesn’t do that many awkard looking indieriffic spots, so Sabin, who’s got a lot of potential, has a good night. Of course, selling and transition are dubious, but it was a nice action match.

 

Jerry Lynn vs Elix Skipper was pretty good, if oddly booked with Lynn beating Skipper in 10 seconds only for Skipper to ask for a 2/3 falls, and getting beat again. Skipper in solo is really exposed though. And his push is dead apparently.

 

Simon Diamond & Swinger beating JTTS team of Shark Boy & Norman Smiley (New Jack is history) works for me. We need some hierarchy and build toward another match against AMW.

 

Kid Kash vs Ricky Morton looked ok for a few minutes, Morton even does a terrific suicide dive, but after a while he shows his age by not being able to accomplish what he wants to do (frankensteiner from the top rope was not a good idea at all). I hope we don’t get Kid Kash against other old timers though. This is such a tired idea.

 

In other news, AJ Styles kinda swerves D-Lo into thinking he’s got respect for him, building to a cage match for next week, and Edward Chastain is downsized after his loss to Sandman. Even more 3 Live Kru bad comedy and catfights. Lollipop sounds so southern. I’ll miss that girl when they’ll get rid of the cage dancers.

 

Pretty decent show overall with almost no Russo (some useless interview bits) and some actual build toward bigger matches.

 

2003/07/30 Jerry Lynn vs Elix Skipper
2003/07/30 Chris Sabin vs Micheal Shane
2003/07/30 Raven & Julio & Alexis vs Shane Douglas & Brian Lee & Slash

[El-P]

PPV 56

 

Total Nonstop Action has officialy stopped, as the sign used to say. For like twenty minutes, the time to set the cage up. So, to kill time, a very boring and long, looooong Chris Daniels promo, now completely into evil preacher mode in a way that reminds me of a mid-90’s WWF gimmick. Then Jeff Jarrett shows up to bore the audience even more. Seems like the two « red shirt » security guys are heels. How thrilling.

 

AJ Styles vs D-Lo Brown was a pretty good cage match though, but it never got the time to build and the finish was both anticlimatic and kinda stupid, as Erik Watts pushed Russo, whom he was attached to via handcuffs, into the cage, making D-Lo fall from the top and crash down to a loss. Watts, the Head of Authority, looked like an idiot.

 

Best match of the show was another gimmick match (never ever enough on one show, remember ?), AMW vs Simon Diamond & Swinger in a Rawhide Strap match, whatever that is. Beats the Yappapi version anyway. Really good stuff. Swinger is actually pretty good for the first time in his career as his pretty pedestrian offense just looks fine in a context where he simply has to heel up and get heat instead of trying to work highspots like he was in ECW or in various cruiserweight divisions. Diamond & Swinger lose again but they steal the belts. Later on, AMW beatdown, because every babyface has to get beaten down, every week. That’s never boring, you see.

 

Even the best angle how the show ended up with babyface Raven getting a beatdown too. But cool stuff, as Raven, for the first time of his career, shows actual empathy and chooses to go save his Gathering friends instead of « finishing » Shane Douglas. Strong promos by Douglas & Mitchell again too. This is the best feud in the company and I like the fact the Raven character actually matures as a babyface.

 

Rest of the show, well, a nothing spotmatch between Micheal Shane, Danny Doring, Joey Matthews (it’s an ECW Reunion show at this point) and Shark Boy until Elix Skipper just beats them all (so WCW), after what Micheal Shane pins the three guys in succession. So ironic the way this guy gets pushed.

 

As I feared, more Kid Kash vs legends, this time Larry Z. in a pretty bad match with usual Abyss run-in. Crowds chants « Get a walker ! » to Larry, who then proceed to mimick using a walker to make fun out of them. Larry looked quite decent overall. Funny how today, he would get a « You’ve still got it chants ». But these were still the ECW/smarks assholes crowds.

 

Frankie Kazarian almost wins the X-div title on a shit finish, with a pissing contest between three referees. The match with Chris Sabin was a bit better than usual, but it’s still pretty much video-game wrestling with poor selling and transitions. I really won’t care at all about the X-div if it gets filled with these kind of indy guys.

 

3 Live Kru in the trailer park stalked by a white trash perv and awful Attitude Era like vignette for Mad Mickey, whom I hoped he was a one shot. All the downtimes meant we had tons of Lollipop’s ass this week. Just realized that the other cage dancer was April, the « bad girlfriend » of Brian Lawler.

 

2003/08/06 AJ Styles vs D-Lo Brown
2003/08/06 AMW vs Simon Diamond & Swinger

[El-P]

PPV 57

 

I guess a fine second half makes up for the stupidity.

 

To jumpstart a single push, let’s have Elix Skipper lose clean again to Jerry Lynn in less that five minutes. That’s the third fall in a row. Match was fine for what it was.

 

Is it possible to further kill the ladder match gimmick ? Yes. By having a N°1 contender match (remember how much TNA loves N°1 contender matches, when you don’t know how to book shit it’s an easy way out) in a ladder match. Yep. Isn’t that supposed to be the big gimmick match for the title ? Anyway. And then, have Micheal Shane and Frankie Kazarian do stupid spots and dives with no selling, stuntman show-style. And have Chris Sabin run in and screw up the match anyway.

 

Kid Kash has another bad match, this time with Bobby Eaton who tries less than Ricky Morton so he doesn’t look as old. Still, this is going nowhere. Again. Well, this is going toward a match against Dusty I guess. So, yeah, nowhere.

 

Let's have a TNA title match with former heel and SEX member Low-Ki returning as a babyface, insurring a dead crowd for a seriously excellent match against AJ Styles, the second best of the year after the tag team cage match. Exactly what TNA should be. These two know how to use their athleticism in a positive, creative but thought out way. More of this, please. But Ki returning as a babyface without any explanation just doesn’t cut it.

 

AMW & Dusty vs Simon & Swinger & Gilberti was quite fun for what it was, those two teams really have a chemistry at this point and Dusty didn’t overworked himself. Gilberti is better in small doses and in a spot where he doesn’t think he’s Kurt Angle. Good stuff, and the feud continues next week. Never though Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger would actually have their moment of glory.

 

Finally, Raven vs Shane Douglas was a perfect instance of getting the most out of the least. Douglas is awesome at getting across as an asshole and getting heat, which he did in spades, with Raven working wonderfully as a bloodied babyface. Douglas confronting a woman in the crowd was old-school gold. However, in term of timing and bumping, it’s obvious Douglas has lost quite a few steps as showed by a few blown spots. But really, as far as doing a heated brawl without doing much of anything, this was good. This is working, people. Jim Mitchell tricks Raven again and the white hand mystery man stuns Raven again. I’m intrigued and I enjoy this feud although Douglas is obviously not going to bring much physically anymore.

 

Russo blabbing, Jarrett running in, more Mad Mickey awful vignettes, 3 Live Krew debuting against JTTS Vampire Warrior, Devon Storm and some furry pants tattoed guy named Sinn. And they’ll feud with white supremacist Harris Boys it seemed. Cool, more fast forward coming in.

 

Raven vs Mitchell and AMW vs Gilberti’s boys are carrying the show. AJ Styles has no real challenger anymore since Jarrett will feud with Daniels it seems, which could get interesting in the ring but the angles promise to be as dull as ever. The X-div is doomed with these young spot monkeys, and the following week is the debut of Ultimate X. Here' hoping we get totally ridiculous with it.

 

2003/08/13 Raven vs Shane Douglas
2003/08/13 AMW & Dusty Rhodes vs Simon Diamond & Swinger & Glen Gilberti
2003/08/13 AJ Styles vs Low-Ki

[Jingus]

some furry pants tattoed guy named Sinn

Also known as the one and only Kizarny!

[Gutenberger]

I loved

 

 

some furry pants tattoed guy named Sinn

Also known as the one and only Kizarny!

 

I loved the Kizarny vignettes and was so excited for his debut, because it was just so wonderfully strange. Well, we've all seen how that went!

[El-P]

PPV 58

 

TNA, the company with the idiotic concepts, next episode. This week, the debut of the Ultimate X. Well, if we’re going for imbecilic stopfests, might as well go for broke. The whole concept makes it clear that the purpose is acrobatics to begin with, so it fits Chris Sabin, Micheal Shane & Frankie Kazarian. And… holy shit, it’s actually as fun as it is ridiculous ! Sabin shows good heeling, Shane bleeds bucket like his cousin would. Kazarian still sucks, but there’s enough stupid spots to make up for it and… the belt falls in the middle of the ring. Hilarious. The ref looks stupid for a few seconds before calling guys in the back to put it back up. More ridiculous action and… the belt falls again. This match had me rolling with laughter. And really, despite Kazarian sloppiness and poor instinct, I loved the ending with Shane rushing to the belt, which also means he steals the show. This may not be that stupid of a concept after all. Well, it is, but it could be really fun too.

 

AMW vs Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger in a double bullrope match was decent but they didn’t use the gimmick that well, especially since a false finish involves a chairshot and the actual finish comes after a belt shot. You had those bells, you know… No blood, which kinda hurt a bit, but we already had Micheal Shane and Raven (in the requisite babyface beatdown opening segment) bleeding like pigs. Still, this feud has delivered every week thus far, and the heels stealing a win re-heats the whole thing.

 

Another surprisingly good match with Legend & Chris Daniels vs Jeff Jarrett & Erik Watts. The heels works very well, I kinda like Legend as a less intense Rhyno rip-off. Daniels makes Jarrett look better than he is and Watts brings fire and big power spots. What the hell is happening this week ? Hey, babyface beatdown with Russo. Ok, back to shitty business.

 

And an actual fun angle involving Sonny Siaki. What ? So he brings a casket at ringside to celebrate the death of D-Lo’s career and it’s obvious to anyone who’s ever watched wrestling how it is gonna end. Trinity is sporting a porn lingerie dress that would make Francine proud. Of course, D-Lo jumps out of the casket and locks both heels inside, to a huge pop. Hey ! A babyface getting the last laugh without any swerve ! Fun little segment.

 

Julio & CM Punk vs the New Church, now Slash & Sinn (ex-furry boot JTTS of the previous week now full fledge member of the evil camp) was sloppy but pretty watchable, Alexis killing it again befire getting killed by Shane Douglas, who’s been a terrific heatseaking asshole.

 

So, the final Gauntlet match to determine a N°1 CONTENDER must suck, right ? It must. Kid Kash, Ron Killings, okay… this will be boring before a clusterfuck final… except it doesn’t ! The only annoying part was Mad Mickey showing up at ringside. A true awful gimmick. But the match itself really built well, Jarrett not showing up after the beatdown, Abyss getting the Diesel push and looking good, finally, Daniels conforting his spot as the most reliable guy in the undercard, D-Lo going straight after Siaki like he should and Raven showing up last for a cool one on one final against Douglas, who’s really making for his lack of physicality with terrific facials and maneurisms. They have a cool little match and, holy shit, Raven wins clean and becomes the n°1 contender. Very good match, well booked with an excellent ending and the right guy winning like he should. Wait, am I watching TNA ?

 

Maybe the best TNA show thus far, even the most ridiculous stuff ended up fun, no bad match nor awful segment, just a short Erik Watts sit-down interview which was quite dull, but he made up for it later during his match. And as a Scott Levy fan, I’m so glad I’m watching this stuff. TNA fucking rules after all ! For now.

 

2003/08/20 Chris Sabin vs Frankie Kazarian vs Micheal Shane
2003/08/20 AMW vs Simon Diamond & Swinger
2003/08/20 Jeff Jarrett & Erik Watts vs Legend & Christopher Daniels
2003/08/20 Gauntlet Match

[Mad Dog]

I really loved the backstage nonsense they did with New Jack and Shark Boy during this time period. Shark Boy was one of my favorites until TNA fucked him up with that Austin impression. It was funny once or twice but got old the 50th time he did it.

[El-P]

Yeah, New Jack was funny and cut good promos, but his matches were the shits. Should have been kept a character on-air though.

 

PPV 59

 

Wait. Another good TNA PPV ? WTF ?

 

Gotta give some kredit to 3 Live Kru. They aren’t good in-ring workers, but they actually put some effort in creating some cool tag team moves, and they are over. Konnan wish the audience would let him speak on this too. Heated opener against Slash & Sinn ending in a schmozz.

 

D-Lo Brown vs Sonny Siaki was as good as a Siaki match gets. Trinity is now a undercarder valet. Female empowerment. Well, she did hit a nice spot on D-Lo, giving Sonny the win. Wait, how long before Trinity gets sick of this again ? Jeff Jarrett runs in and bashes a guitar.

 

Abyss vs Sandman was decent enough as a JTTS match. Kinda sad Sandman is reduced to this role though, Abyss' whole gimmick is so low-rent.

 

Now, the good stuff, Jerry Lynn vs Michael Shane was the best straight X-div match in a while, with Lynn controlling the pace. Shane is now a heel apparently, after his babyface performance the week before. Make sense, in a WCW way. And his entire gimmick is to be Shawn Micheals' cousin. Yes, Russo, always promoting WWE. He’s a plant booker. Shane shows quite decent heel character though, including teasing an elbowdrop and not doing it, which always pisses off fans. Don Callis at ringside is doing a good job on color as, even as a heel, he actually puts over Lynn. Take notes JBL.

 

Simon Diamond & Swinger vs AMW in a tag title match was yet another good bout. This feud has been going on for long now but it does not drag yet, and this time the heels finally wins thanks to Gilberti, so AMW can chase the title again. This leads into a pretty decent, all things considered, Dusty Rhodes vs Glen Gilberti bullrope match. Better than the Corino one in ECW I believe, so kudos do Disco on that one.

 

The only bad stuff on this show was Terry Taylor as a backstage interviewer, in which he sucked a dick, contrary to Goldylocks. Plus, if we believe Cornette, Taylor is a stooge. If we believe Missy Hyatt, Taylor has a small dick. Jeff Jarrett runs in and bashes a guitar at some point too. And a terrible Mad Mickey segment with Tenay. Since he showed up, he’s been the worst part of the show every week.

 

And then Raven vs AJ Styles in maybe the best single match of the year thus far. And probably Raven’s best single match ever, and it’s not like he’s been carried, although Styles is great no matter what. Lots of cool stuff here, excellent bayface work by Raven despite a few shaky executed spots (but Raven has never been the smoothest guy around, and who cares at this point ?) and a hot finish with run-ins that are used to their best effect (as opposed to a stupid Double J Special). Douglas finally screws Raven who loses the match to the outrage of the other babyfaces while James Mitchell looks evil as Hell. Jarrett runs in and gets booed. Erik Watts runs in and gets cheered. Next week, some sort of Wargames match. Awesome.

 

Two weeks in a row, TNA delivers the goods. Was Russo still booking ? If not, who was ? Mantell ? Dusty ?

Oh yeah, they have been promoting Roddy Piper for two weeks now. Hopefully he does like Negro Casas and don't show up.

 

27/08/2003 Jerry Lynn vs Michael Shane
27/08/2003 AMW vs Simon Diamond & Swinger
27/08/2003 Raven vs AJ Styles

[Laz]

The second Ultimate X is the perfection of the match. It, get this, actually uses some psychology, and having Daniels/Ki involved is a major reason it worked so well. You have probably 4-5 shows to it, iirc.

[El-P]

PPV 60

 

« You should give up when you get to the X Cup Tournament in September 2003. »

 

I should have listened. Easily the most boring, clusterfucky show of all.

 

Stage 1 : A godawul opener with Mad Mickey vs Lazz. No idea what the fuck Lazz is supposed to be. Dressed as a woman with odd facepaint, does homoerotic spots that are supposed to be comedic. Fast forward. I don’t want to see either of these two ever again.

 

Stage 2 : The Super X Cup aka the shittiest Super J Cup ever. A tournament of eight guys in about one hour. A bunch of Nitro cruiserweight quickies at best (Nosawa vs Juvy / Lynn vs Sabin) awful indierrific wankfest with contrived moves, stunts, no-transition and shit selling (everything else). First look at Teddy Hart. Hope I won’t see him ever again, his match with other spotmonkey Jonny Storm was embarrassing. Kazarian is extremely annoying. Shane & Sabin have the most potential, but even the final of Sabin vs Juventud, which was the best match of all for a while, was still sloppy with no psychology at all and after an horrible Eddielenko sequence just went straight down the sewer when, after being dropped right on his head and kicking out of it, Sabin got back on offense like nothing happened because it was his turn to do a finisher. And a kick-out from Juvy. Rince, repeat. Total false epic. I gotta state again how terrible Rudy Charles is as a referee, he’s downright distracting at times. Juvy wins, whatever. Don’t do that again, please. Micheal Shane got beat in the first round, despite being the champ. Brillant booking too.

 

Stage 3 : Well, that Wargames-like match wasn’t a good idea after all. One cage only, too much people and the weapons inside turned it into a Gangstas vs Public Enemy match circa 1995. Total clusterfuck, got boring quick as soon as the ring got saturated. Jarrett wins. Heels cut Raven’s hair.

 

And a Interrogators segment with « The red shirt security guys », which are bad guys. How fucking exciting as character. The red shirt security guys. Feel the money dropping. Can’t wait to see a bunch of matches with The red shirt security guys.

 

The X tournament could have been watchable if not for indy spotwank matches all over, and the final was almost good. Juvy has regressed a lot as a worker. The cage match was a complete mess.