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Who's older Dave or Earl Hebner


RCS1988

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Holy shit JVK I thought you were joking when you linked that. It's KAYFABE NEWS! It's a freaking parody site. This is like if you were linking Onion stories like it was real news.

 

I guess the other big news sites have so far missed this story:http://www.kayfabenews.com/helmsley-mcmahon-released-told-creative-nothing-authority/

 

 

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today the release of two top executives and on-air personalities, Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, after it was deemed that the company’s so-called Creative team had “nothing for The Authority.”

“We wish Mr. Helmsley and Mrs. McMahon-Helmsley all the best in their future endeavors,” reads the tersely worded press release.

The news comes as a shock to wrestling fans worldwide, who had become accustomed to seeing the tyrannical power-couple (known collectively as The Authority) deliver interminable in-ring soliloquys during the opening 40 minutes of WWE’s weekly program, Monday Night Raw.

The company offered no reason for the termination aside from stating “it was best for business.”

Effective immediately, the roles of The Authority will be portrayed by Terry Taylor and Lita.

Helmsley and McMahon-Helmsley, meanwhile, have already begun taking bookings on the independent wrestling circuit, and will appear this weekend at Cleveland’s Absolute Intense Wrestling (AIW) as “The Bureaucrats.”

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Dave was always noticeably fatter than Earl, even back at "The Big Event" when Earl debuted in WWF. Dave never refereed after that point, they just used Earl as "Dave Hebner" for a few years before people forgot about the screwing of Hogan. Dave would sometimes make appearances such as trying to free Warrior from the coffin, and trying to stop Elizabeth going to the ring at WM8.

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How I wish that Mrs Hebner had only given birth to one son. Although it probably would've just been Earl had that been the case. Or he'd have appeared at a later date. It's like one of those sci-fi stories where someone keeps going back in time to prevent an atrocity, but they still end up happening no matter what.

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