Ken the Box

[Grimmas]

Elliott said: "Epic brawler with a knack working psychological masterpieces. On the short list of most interesting characters in wrestling history and the definition of the wrestler you want to see vs anybody. Ken the Box vs Brock Lesnar? Ken the Box vs Lou Thesz? Ken the Box vs Jaguar Yokota? Ken the Box vs Sabu? Ken the Box vs Shinya Hashimoto? Ken the Box vs Abdullah the Butcher? Ken the Box vs Kenta Kobashi (Battle of the Kens!)? These are all guarateed 5 star matches. I challenge anyone to come up with an opponent for Ken the Box that wouldn't be a 5 star match. He's the only wrestler in history you could say that about. Ken the Box is the ultimate cheat code. He solved pro-wrestling. "

[Kadaveri]

Someone needs to work out which pro-wrestler is actually in the Ken The Box suit so we can add it to their case.

[Jetlag]

It should be Naoshi Sano, who unfortunately is pretty terrible when he's not playing a monster.

[Matt D]

Let’s not kill the magic here, guys.

[elliott]

1 hour ago, Matt D said:

Let’s not kill the magic here, guys.

Seriously. WTF.

I pledge not to hold Ric Flair's post-prime against him and I will not count Ken's non-box work against him. 

[King of Debt]

Future wrestling message-board scholars set a marker here, the beginning of the sequence of events chaining from elliott having a little fun to this website being shut down by the FBI just before the Mecha Mummy nominee thread reaches its 90th page in 2025

[elliott]

I don't think anything will ever top Ken getting counted out because he can't get in the ring because he's boxes. That alone makes him a candidate. Brilliant storytelling. 

[Kadaveri]

He returned in DDT last month btw. Mecha Mummy was doing a post-match beatdown on Chris Brookes and then Ken The Box walked in and saved Giraffe Boy.

[elliott]

So hes got longevity 

[elliott]

So hes got longevity 

[El McKell]

Survival Tobita matches are funny and all, but why is it this opponent that grabs people the most?

I think If we didn't call him such a funny name in English he probably wouldn't have gotten nominated, if his name had been translated properly on bootleg tapes as Ken the Wooden Man or Wooden Ken or whatever this thread wouldn't exist.

[Jetlag]

I disagree, I've always called him Mokujin Ken after the monster from Tekken. The fact that he's a blocky wooden monster with club hands who happpens to be plainly named "Ken" is hilarious enough.

I think part of the mystique is that he's the one monster Tobita couldn't beat. The strongest thing in the universe being a blocky piece of lumber that clubs you in the head is hilarious on it's own. Also his taunt, and the fact he can only exist in this scuzzy underworld of Japanese indy wrestling where they don't use rings.

[ohtani's jacket]

His real name should be Ken the Wooden Training Dummy. 

[elliott]

On 12/15/2021 at 10:20 AM, El McKell said:

Survival Tobita matches are funny and all, but why is it this opponent that grabs people the most?

I think If we didn't call him such a funny name in English he probably wouldn't have gotten nominated, if his name had been translated properly on bootleg tapes as Ken the Wooden Man or Wooden Ken or whatever this thread wouldn't exist.

He lost a match by count out because he couldn't get into the ring because he's made of boxes. That's just the best. 

[funkdoc]

Also he has possibly the greatest walk cycle in wrestling history - only other contenders i can think of are the Bushwhackers