El-P

Clash 15 was a rush job if I even saw one, and it totally ruined some potential really good matches. Arn & Barry vs Pillman & Gigante had a really fun match on TV but this was settled in like 2 minutes with Pillman "leaving" WCW just being an afterthought. Luger vs Muta could have been really good but again, Luger beat Muta in record time, which was both odd and disapointing. Even Flair vs Eaton was ampered by the 2/3 falls stipulation which doesn't work when you don't have more than 30 minutes to spend. Too bad because Eaton was fantastic again, and it coumd have developped into a great match, but the ending came too quick and was anticlimatic to boot. The only match which didn't suffer too much was Steiners vs Chono & Hase, not as spot heavy as the Dome match (unsurprising with Chono) but more solid. Way too many squashes matches, but I guess the idea was to introduce the new characters like Diamond Studd, Steve Austin and.... Oz. I forgot how ridiculous Oz's entrance was. They should bring the gimmick back to feud with Taker at Mania. Man, how did that dwidget 19 years old Jason Hervey got to date a 29 years old Missy Hyatt in the prime of her hotness ? Missy was a milf before the acronym existed. The Danger Zone with Hervey was really bad, although I get a kick out of Paul E. smashing his vintage portable phone on the backs of annoying people. It sure wouldn't have the same effet with an Iphone. The strangest segment, and really representative of the new, more cartoony direction the company was going toward, was PN News dancing with Salt'n Pepa, interrupted by Johnny B. Badd. There's a feud I want to see. Hat's off to WCW for being rather current as far as pop culture goes though, as Salt'n Pepa were in their "prime" in 91, as opposed to when WWF hired them in 1995 when they were already a thing of the past. PN NEws's ring attire is one of the most color offensive I've seen. I know this was the early 90's, but man, that bright fluorescent green with purple. Looks like an overweight Constructicon.

Yeah, Ellering was jacked early on. He was about as good of a worker as Ventura too.

I think it was: PAUL: "Tell 'em, Animal!" ANIMAL: "Tell 'em, Hawk!" Hawk would drop the "Tell 'em Paul!" to get back to Ellering. I've watched quite a bit of Roadies lately through my WCW watch, and Hawk is crisper in term of offense, while Animal throws those big forearms and boots rather randomly, Hawk is a better bumper, and Hawk had the best offense of the two (neckbreaker, powerslam, flying clothesline, big boot, chops...). I don't think he was unnatural, but he had a way of looking *heavy*. I don't know If I'm gonna be able to translate what I feel when I watch him, but it's like he's made of metal, he seems like a super dense mass, moreso than Animal. Which gave him this kinda unnatural way of falling sometimes, like he was heavier than he looked like. But it produced this incredible aura of power and undestructibility to me. As far as selling, maybe Animal was a better seller indeed, but more often than not it was Hawk who was doing the selling after the vaunted transition spot in the corner right to the outside. So all in all, I'm really a much bigger Hawk fan. I think he could have been a single star a la Sting. Animal, I don't think so. Yeah, that's true, I'm kinda hard on Ellering, but he never struck me as essential to the Roadies act like Corny was with the MX.

Hawk was the best performer all around anyway. The most charismatic, the best promo, and the best worker. Ellering was good for the "Tell 'em Paul" spot only.

If you believe Missy Hyatt, everyone was banging Dark Journey.

Even without speaking about pure gimmicks, there's nothing to identify one guy from another now. And I don't speak figuratively. I watched the Rumble with a fresh eye of someone who don't know 80% of the roster and I had zero idea of who these guys were supposed to be and don't even ask me who is a face and who is a heel. It's just a big blur of look/act-alike. You watch NJ is the 80's and everyone is sporting the infamous NJ black trunks and boots. Yet it doesn't take long to figure who is who and what their personnality is, so I'm not even talking about straight gimmicks. I'm coming off the Rumble knowing shit about the current guys. It's no wonder Road Dogg and Hacksaw got one of the biggest pop of the night... I found interesting that Karma got a big pop too. That was probably my favourite part of the Rumble.

You sure do make me want to check it out. And I don't think nostalgia has anything to do with it. There has always been crap all over the cards (shit, I'm watching WCW TV from 91, with the godawful PN News). The fact is, wrestling had never be so dull has it is now. It's a product of its era. I'm convinced a 12 year old me would not become a wrestling fan with the current product. If nostalgia there is, it's the fact that the only "big" things for WM are old timers from another era coming back (Taker, Jericho, Rock). The only thing that made me watch WM last year was the Rock. It will be the same this year, although I hope Jericho gets a cool match that I can enjoy. I guess we get Taker vs HHH again, which will be the requisite overrated self-conscious epic of the year. Taker's entrance to Johnny Cash's song was the best thing of the match last year.

Hey, Billy Jack Haynes doing an executionner gimmick, complete with JTTS hood and an axe ! And he's billed from France ! No wonder the poor guy snapped, his career went south so bad after he left his territory. WCW was really into gimmickization period with Black Blood, Johnny B. Badd, Big Josh, Diamond Stud to an extent. Failed attempt at trying to compete with WWF on their own turf, while this era was dying anyway. Can't wait for Van Hammer...

I guess. The Bull Drop Inn with Dusty Rhodes is objectively one of the worst segment I've ever seen. Just god awful. PN News is systematic fast forward material, just a complete abortion. He makes Oscar sound like Chuck D., Andre 3000, Snoop Dog and Method Man all rolled into one. Brian Pillman dresses like a giant rat. The Yellow Dog can't be far behind. Flair is leaving soon, which means poor Luger gets fucked again. The first half of the year was dramatically better than anything since 02/90, but something don't feel right again. Side note : I'm amazed at how Scott Hall looked like Razor Ramon as early as the first Diamond Stud match. The greasy hair, the toothpick, the moveset, the cross with the arms. Kinda debunk the myth of WWF creating this character from scratch. They gave him a fake latino accent, but the rest was there already. Oh, and Mark Mero debuts as Johnny B. Badd. Don't sue me, I enjoy it.

I don't know how Blizkrieg stuff will have aged to me. But yeah, there is good stuff in 99 too. Actually I know this year much more than I knew 98 going in, so a lot of it will be revisit with a fresh eye. Most of what you mentionned is really fun from memory. The booking will make me cry though I fear. Anyway, I'm in the midst of 1991 now, Steve Austin just showed up, and Flair is leaving soon. "We want Flair!" incoming...

I forgot we were talking anout HoF here. So yeah, in that case, Styles goes before Dreamer. I would agree with some of this. That said, the biggest program the Dudz ever had which drew really the best houses was against Sandman/Dreamer (and Spike;)) after they broke Beulah's neck. That was the high point of of Dudz, and Dreamer was a big part of it.

Thanks for the laugh Jerry, I needed that. It's stricking. As far as the random yelling, I noticed that too. They are robots, they all look the same, they have no idea how to interact with the crowd (no surprising since they are forbidden to do so) or to get over. The Royal Rumble was always my favourite event of the year when I was younger, I loved watching all the characters show up every two minutes, it was exciting. I'm pretty sure that if I was 12 today, watching this, I wouldn't be interested very much. And if you can't at least interest the 12 year old in me to watch pro-wrestling, it's really bad.

I wouldn't put the Dudz ahead of Dreamer. Heyman & Gordon of course, but we're talking about workers here.

That would have been awesome actually.

Hum, what ? Terry Funk Sabu Sandman Shane Douglas RVD Raven Taz ... ah, you're right.

I knew you would go on a rant about Alphonso.

The Rumble match was overscripted as it's been in the last 10 years, with some comedy during the middle, the token surprise spots (Duggan was crazy over, and Road Dogg did his routine like 2000 was yesterday). I found the Cole / Karma stuff rather funny although it was predictable as soon as Cole entered the ring that the next "guy" would kill him. The guy walking on his hands was the token "incredible way of staying in teh match" spot of the year, and was funny. Everything looks so programmed at this point... First good Rumble that felt this way was 2000, things haven't changed a bit since then. Then the finishing stretch between Jericho & Sheamus was excellent I thought, with some actual rope work, which is something that has been totally lost as early as the late 90's. But yeah, something makes it impossible for me to get into. I hate the production and the way everybody looks the same with stupid random names. Seems like they pretty much all look like those guys from the Power Plant back in 2000. Coming in and not knowing half the guys, exactly no one stood out to me except a black guy who seems like a power worker, Sheamus, and the old timers. Even Jericho kinda looks like everyone else with the short hair and short black trunks, although he hasn't lost a step in the charisma and work department.

Ok, thanks, it makes sense. He was only doing one little spot and was knocked back down selling for a long time, it didn't felt right.

Retards. The final sequence between Sheamus and Jericho was excellent though.

I'll keep that in mind when I'll get back into those dark days...

It's better than "The Big Nasty,' which was his original nickname. Ouch ! Still, his name along with the music theme was the least intimidating stuff one could thought for Paul Wight. He was way more menacing in WCW with the eerie Dungeon of Doom music and green light, or even better, with no music at all, which made him stand out.

Well, I tried, I failed. Watched Big Show vs Mark Henry vs Danuel Bryan from the Rumble. It was a nothing match. Seriously, I guess Mark Henry showed way more than this last year, otherwise I don't get the Henry pimping at all. He showed zilch here, he was the same Mark Henry I last saw in 2004 or so. But the structure of the match didn't allow him to do shit anyway, and I don't get why he was put in this in the first place, since the focus was clearly Daniel vs Show. They threw Daniel a hundred time in the fence. No blood of course. Really a nothing match, that should have been much better. The finish was nice. Then I ff to the Rumble, because I figured I wasn't gonna enjoy Cena vs Kane one bit. Then comes The Miz. Seriously people, this is what wrestling looks like in 2012 ? Then came a guy named Alex Riley. I figured it out. Way too metrosexual for me. Give me Arn Anderson. Hey, I tried. I'll watch Rock vs Cena, because I can't miss The Rock's return (yeah, I know, he returned already at SS, but that doesn't count). Oh, I saw the fat guy doing the Flash Funk gimmick. Well, at least he's different, and the new Funkettes are much better dancers than the original. MAn, why didn't they pushed Scorpio as a major pimp back then ? He would have been awesome in the Godfather's role, as a heel.

First thing I hated about Big Show when he came to WWF was his name. I always though *The Big Show* was really lame. The Giant was just perfect.

I wouldn't put him in my top 10, but I loved Alphonso in his role of evil referee turned manager. Great maneurisms. He also made RVD tolerable.

But I know all that FLIK.