WWECW

[goc]

Batista was capable of some really good stuff. He just wasn't a guy that worked well against big lumbering types. He had bad series with Khali, Big Show & JBL but he might be The Undertaker's best opponent for as many good matches as they had, the 3 match HHH series was really good and I enjoyed all his matches against Cena. He also held up his end of the bargain in the little Rey/Batista vs. MNM series.

[El-P]

I actually like Batista way more than I like Orton (not hard), and I remember thinking that HHH match at Mania was really good and one of HHH's best performance. But the whole presentation is stereotypical from the mid'00's WWE, which I really don't care for. Big Show has actively sucked thus far, so yeah, not a good deal for Batista I guess.

[goc]

I didn't know how much Batista you had seen so I didn't want you to just write him off as worthless based on him vs. Big Show. The only thing worth watching in the match is how much Batista gets rattled by the crowd turning on his match.

[NotJayTabb]

I just hope you're able to gut it out until December To Dismember. It's such a baffling PPV for them to have put out. They only announced two matches in advance of the show, and the rest is full of random lower-midcard matches like Matt Striker vs Balls Mahoney (which is worryingly the second best match on the card). It's like someone decided to put out a Sunday Night Heat PPV. The Extreme Elimination Chamber is awful, a mixture of a terrible bait-and-switch, bad booking, long periods of dead air with only one guy in the ring...just a mess.

[Stiva]

I think "This TV show has got to be a troll" is probably pretty accurate for it's first 7/8 months. Like they were actively fighting against Heyman, just to be awkward.

[El-P]

Episode 9 finally has a really good match. And no surprise to me, it's Sabu vs Kurt Angle. It's too bad Angle is leaving, as I really learned to enjoy him again here. Sabu is always fascinating to me, as he does so much little things right, like throwing a good looking punch just to fill space and time like Hansen would, or his facials when he's throwing elbows on Angle who's on his back, or selling a bodypart just to make things looks better when a transition is coming. Plus this was work non-extreme rule, and Sabu is absolutely not hurt by this. He doesn't need any gimmick. And he busts out a 2 Cold Scorpio like reverse splash from the tope rope which I don't thin I've seen him do before. I love Sabu. His stock is still rising with me. However, I don't like RVD, and he ruins the match with a shitty run-in (worst looking Vandaminator ever) where he attacks both guys. Still, very good match until then.

 

The rest of the show was garbage. A three minute match between Dreamer and Knox, ending with Heyman, his security guards, Sandman and Test all showing up. Okay, can we get Kelly's exposé back, please ? A boring WWE promo by Big Show. Kevin Thorne looking like the least freakish vampire ever. The jury's out on his in-ring talent, but he doesn't show me much thus far. Ariel's bat rope routine and slutty gothic behaviour is easily the only worthy thing in this outfit. And then, more promising debut, with Rene Dupree, doing some sort of self-absorbed bodybuilder-like gimmick. I have no idea what those "french" words he uttered were BTW. Made no sense to me. Yawn. Well, CM Punk dropped a quote by Voltaire, so I guess French culture was well represented after all.

 

2006.08.08 Sabu vs Kurt Angle

[El-P]

Episode 10 has been the most enjoyable thus far. Not hard, of course. Mick Foley cut quite the promo building to his match against Ric Flair at SummerSlam, and even then it's obvious Mick was head and shoulder above most of them, as it's the closest thing from an old-school promo you'd get on a WWE TV show. In an absurd moment of cheesiness though, he invited Kelly Kelly and Melina to the ring to do a three way dance, litteraly. Okay, I have nothing against two hot girls dancing (Melina has the moves, Kelly, not that much), but it made no sense for Kelly to be up there after 10 weeks of Mike Knox preventing her from dancing in front of people. So lazy. Ric Flair run-in and beatdown on Foley, good stuff. I'll consider Flair vs Foley an ECW match.

 

The rest of the card, well, a semi-competitive squash for CM Punk, again beating Justin Credible, who didn't look good this time. A sad moment of the FBI bumping around in a total squash for Mike Knox and mostly Test. Sandman & Dreamer run-in, nothing new here. A little backstage nonsense with I guess the last appearance of Kurt Angle on WWE TV, beat up by Heyman's security. Bye bye Angle, TNA's waiting for you.

 

The main event was pretty much old-school ECW as you can get, with RVD vs Sabu in a ladder match for the contract to face Big Show at SummerSlam. In a pretty funny moment for me, not only do they fuck up the very first spot they try, but RVD immediately goes for the cover. And the ref counts. In a ladder match. Exactly like the Sabu vs Shamrock match from TNA I watched lately. Anyway, the match was a clusterfuck of course, but in a good way, as it's really what it's supposed to be, with Sabu attempting stuff you know can't end up well. Him trying to use the ladder as a springboard was brutal, he could have shattered his ankle, but I don't consider that a blown spot, rather it's the perfect illustration of what his character is supposed to be. "Character work", if you will. RVD's rolling thunder on the ladder is cringeworthy too. Too bad the Big Show had to do a shitty slow-mo run-in to ruin the match which ended up in a predictable way, with Sabu grabbing the contract while on the shoulders of Show. Still, fun clusterfuck, brings me back to 1996. The booking still sucks though.

 

2006.08.15 Sabu vs RVD

[El-P]

ECW matches at SummerSlam 06

 

Sabu vs Big Show

 

Really, Sabu does his best to get something semi-interesting from the Big Show, but at this point Wight is so fucking slow and does nothing that looks any good, with the exception of that fallaway slam which looked immense. For a few minutes it's the "best" mach I've seen involving Big Slow (sorry, but there's no alternative), but then you get to a point Show takes like five minutes to set up the shittiest table spot ever, while Sabu has to sell forever. And they don't even do it right because the set up of the table on the ringsteps isn't stable. No, really, Big Show is as close as a useless worker you can find at this point. His ECW stint puts him right at the very bottom of superheavyweights.

 

Ric Flair vs Mick Foley

Not an ECW match per say, but it was set up partly on WWECW TV and the match itself is complete garbage, so. And by complete garbage, I do mean complete garbage. Foley destroys Flair was the best part of the match, using barb wire boards, thumbtacks and barb wire bat. Flair bleeds like a pig and doesn't do shit except awful looking chops with his hands covered with barb wire. He takes a bumps in the tacks without them even teasing it once. At this point, I've seen both Shoji Nakamaki and Axel Rotten work better garbage matches. Really, what did Flair do that warrant any positive criticism here ? He runs head first into a barb wire board ? Clap clap clap. Half of his offense is about low-blows. Foley has to take some brutal bumps, including an insane nestea plunge so Flair can get some serious "offense", which consist on rubbing a barb wire bat on Foley's head and arm. So now Foley is bleeding like a pig. That's really a tribute to mediocre IWA Japan bloodletting, but I'd rather have the Head Hunters and Tarzan Goto, at least they actually worked around the gimmicks a bit. Melina, and I have no idea why she was involved with Foley, throws the towel (it was an I quit match). Ok. I found that match not only bad as a garbage match (and I'm an FMW / 90's japanese sleaze fan), but watching 50 something Ric Flair do that kind of shit, in a WWE ring no less, was pathetic as hell. His work was the shits, and Foley had to overwork himself and take absolutely unnecessary bumps to give him somehwat of a credible upper hand. So yeah, blame Foley too for that complacent stuff at this point of his career. And after watching the Big Show debacle and this shit, the whole "Flair reinvented himself as Onita" talking point sounds like one the most most ridiculous bullshit point ever to me. Flair's garbage work was a poor version of Shoji Nakamaki. Or, to use a more current reference, an old version of Abyss. How the might had fallen. I still don't get why he felt the need to do that either.

 

Ugly stuff...

[(BP)]

I liked Show/Flair, but Foley/Flair just made me uncomfortable. It's hard to believe they were having garbage matches five years later in TNA when neither one had anything left.

[El-P]

It's hard to believe they were having garbage matches five years later in TNA when neither one had anything left.

 

WHAT ?!! Holly shit, I don't even want to think about that !

[El-P]

Episode 11. Same stuff, more or less. Bikini contest so we get to see Torrie Wilson strut her stuff. Had no idea she was still around. Mike Knox and Test run-in, Sandman & Dreamer run-in, "6" person-tag match (but really, Kelly doesn't even get off her high heels), okay finishing stretch by the Sandman and Knox. CM Punk vs Christopher .W. Anderson (why not C.W. ?) was the best match of the show, again a semi-competitive squash for Punk. He badly needs to get pushed already, as he's a breath of fresh air. Kevin the Twilight fan vs Balls Mahoney was actually decent for what it was, which doesn't say much, but they kinda made it look rough a bit. Ariel is the greatest slutty valet since Francine in 96 (okay, she doesn't do much yet, but she has a style of her own). Hardcore Holly debuted by running-in on RVD. Can't say I'm thrilled, but it's better than Test or Rene Dupree. That Shannon Moore "Reject" gimmick was a parody, right ? The vignettes are really terrible. And speaking of "so bad it may be good", Matt Striker is apparently doing an Eric Bishoff does Dean Douglas gimmick. Okay, time for the bad Big Show match of the week, again against Sabu. Sabu gets killed until the ref bump, then he can use gimmicks (since it's not an extreme rule match, depsite being an ECW title match, yeah, go figure), and still get DQ'd at the end. A bloodied Big Show falls through a table. Didn't we get through see already two weeks before ?

 

What, you can feel I'm losing interest (rather, losing patience) ?

[LariatMMBOPPO]

That Shannon Moore "Reject" gimmick was a parody, right ? The vignettes are really terrible.

His actual debut involved getting bitch slapped by Punk and submitting to him two times over two weeks. He was pretty much branded a jobber his entire second run.

 

What, you can feel I'm losing interest (rather, losing patience) ?

So...stop watching? You were warned about how shitty it was and told when the good stuff starts up. Intentionally watching roughly 11 hours of TV just to bitch about it seems like a poor use of time.

[El-P]

11 hours of shitty TV is a walk in the park :

 

http://prowrestlingonly.com/index.php?/topic/19237-wcws-highway-to-hell/

 

And I've heard that "this is where it gets good" before anyway… But yeah, thus far, it's just as bad as it's been pimped to me. Even worse actually, since I had heard good things about the Big Show and (gasp) "Ric Flair doing Onita" for years.

[Matt D]

You can stick it out til you get to the Zack Ryder/Rosa Mendes dream sequence. I know you can.

[El-P]

Sounds appealing...

 

Episode 12 was the same old crap. Only crappier than usual. On the bright side, we get Hardcore Holly's debut against RVD. Haven't watch an Holly match in ages (especially post-00), so I enjoyed the snug, solid work here, but RVD is so uninteresting in throwaway TV matches like that, where he still want to put all his shit in. Holly is a welcome addition though. Then a decent CM Punk vs Stevie Richards semi-squash. Punk is obviously already head and shoulder above everyone else here (and it's not like I'm an old fan of his, I never watched indies). Bad short vignettes for Shannon Moore and Rene Dupree, as always. And that Striker segment where he does Dean Douglas in an even more scripted way. Shane was better at it, but I'm amazed that in 2006 WWE was running gimmicks like that. I sure missed a lot by not watching that decade of TV. He gets in a brawl with Sandman, so I guess that great feud of his and Dreamer vs Knox & Test is over after their win last week. Meanwhile, Kelly shows her stuff to Balls Mahoney, because she's an exhibitionnist. Who is writing that stuff ? And then we get the real awful stuff, including a bad Big Show promo talking about DX (oh man, DX was around… sounds like a great year), and a complete clusterfuck of a match that was supposed to be Sabu vs Paul Heyman, but of course turns into Sabu vs Big Show, with RVD then Holly running in too. Heyman pins Sabu. Yeah, the same kind of Attitude era shit that made me quit in 99. This has to be Heyman's worst run ever.

 

One last thing, I'm surprised they actually mentionned Angle being released, complete with paying hommage and Tazz saying he hopes he'll get back in the ring eventually. I guess they were hoping for a comeback at some point.

[goc]

One last thing, I'm surprised they actually mentionned Angle being released, complete with paying hommage and Tazz saying he hopes he'll get back in the ring eventually. I guess they were hoping for a comeback at some point.

I think there was some talk at the time that Angle went and freaked out in Vince's office while has was asking for his release so they were like "Let's get this guy the hell out of here before he self destructs on us" and then he popped up in TNA all "ha ha I worked Vince McMahon"

[Yo-Yo's Roomie]

I, for one, hope you keep going with this. I enjoy your reviews of bad wrestling, even if I don't always agree with you (I loved the Flair/Foley Summerslam match, for example).

[WingedEagle]

I, for one, hope you keep going with this. I enjoy your reviews of bad wrestling, even if I don't always agree with you (I loved the Flair/Foley Summerslam match, for example).

 

This. I don't have the patience to put myself through what you do, but look forward to seeing your recaps and the choice highlights you'll tout from time to time. Stay the course!

[Grimmas]

 

One last thing, I'm surprised they actually mentionned Angle being released, complete with paying hommage and Tazz saying he hopes he'll get back in the ring eventually. I guess they were hoping for a comeback at some point.

I think there was some talk at the time that Angle went and freaked out in Vince's office while has was asking for his release so they were like "Let's get this guy the hell out of here before he self destructs on us" and then he popped up in TNA all "ha ha I worked Vince McMahon"

 

I remember at the time it was more than that, but that might had been the catalyst. There were talks of him needing handlers on the road and stuff like that.

[Mad Dog]

I remember thinking Angle was going to end up dead soon during that era.

[(BP)]

That Striker segment where he does Dean Douglas in an even more scripted way. Shane was better at it, but I'm amazed that in 2006 WWE was running gimmicks like that. I sure missed a lot by not watching that decade of TV.

The only reason they hired Striker was because he achieved some notoriety in the news for being fired from his teaching position when the school he worked for found out he was calling out sick to work Indy dates. The gimmick was just capitalizing on the press he got. I'm actually surprised he parlayed that into a fairly lengthy run.

[El-P]

I always enjoy those little tidbits along the way. I had no idea about Striker.

 

(glad some people enjoy this too BTW)

 

Episode 13.

 

Well, RVD & Sabu vs Test & Mike Knox was better than I thought it would be. Not exactly good (far from it actually), but the Sabu fan in me enjoyed the part of the match he was involved in. I still don't see much use for Test, and Mike Knox doens't strike me as particulary talented either at this point. RVD looked even worse than usual though. The whole Kelly deal shows how poor the writing is. Mike Knox supposedly can't handle the fact that she wants to show her skin in public, yet he always brings her at ringside and she's basically wearing lingerie. It's just so stupid. Zero thoughts put into anything.

 

Striker / Sandman segment, pretty much the same as the previous week. Then a short Stevie Richards vs Balls Mahoney match, which was decent for what it was I guess, with the Metrosexual Vampire and his Vamp Porn Star (no reference to the softcore movie she did, but to the way she totally overacts) costing Balls the match. I guess to build a match of "freaks" (yeah, Kevin Thorne really looks freaky…). Before that we got Ariel climbing and rubbing herself on Joey Styles, who looked terrified. He's such a conservative…

 

Main event was DX vs Big Show in an handicap match. What can I say, Michaels made Show look semi-alive with his bumps, HHH was his old boring self. Show going for Trips' spinebuster looked so fake and deliberate. Trips' fancying himself as a tough guy always cracked me up. Anyway, Bob Holly runs-in, DQ, sledgehammer, whatever. I don't even see the point of this, since DX aren't linked with anything on this show. Them doing the old DX maneurisms in 2006 looks kinda pathetic BTW. Was that their first comeback ? Retromania was already running wild I see.

 

Highlight of the show : CM Punk slapping Shannon Moore after saying to him "You're a poser". That was pretty funny and a nice payoff for those terrible vignettes.

[goc]

All I can tell you is that it gets better. Not all that soon though. I do enjoy reading them. The DX reunion was a real low point for the whole WWE at the time.

[LariatMMBOPPO]

I remember thinking Angle was going to end up dead soon during that era.

Pretty sure Kurt did die about 9 years ago. The corpse you see walking around is actually powered by a mixture of painkillers and steroids. You don't remember the reanimation ceremony they hosted on iMPACT? Here he is rising from the dead: https://youtu.be/c1wre7Q-B_c?t=59s

[El-P]

Episode 14 had the "best" Big Show vs Sabu match yet, coming close to being "pretty good". But Big Show is working such a lumbering style that everything looks deliberate, even when you'd need some actual quick timing. They did bo a decent job with the table spots build though, but the interferences of Heyman's henchmen are ridiculous (even worst than that when you consider they wear riot helmets yet still sell chairshots and punches to the face). Kinda same old same old, with Big Show winning again. What a dreadfull title reign, really.

 

CM Punk did kill Shannon Moore in his debut match. Wow, this guys had less offense than Stevie Richards or Justin Credible. At some point huge CM punk chants resonnate into MSG, and they sounded piped to me, as the rest of the match didn't get much heat.

 

In another terrible debut match, Rene Dupree beat Balls Mahoney thanks to the Twilight Fan. Oh, man they say Dupree comes from Paris, France. Do they realize it sounds ridiculous for anyone with any clue about teh world ? And the presentation, man, plain white tights, white boots and no kneepads, he looks like a parody of a 60's wrestler. I guess that's the point. Joey Styles even vomits the oldest xenophobic stereotype about France (ya know, surrendering and such). I always try to forget that he's a neo-con Republican dumbfuck because I enjoy his announcing more that most modern WWE guy, but well… Anyway, Dupree looks like crap mostly, and not because of Balls, who, awful and dangerous gimmick aside, can still be pretty solid. Another winner on the roster I guess.

 

Talking about shitty worker, RVD looked pretty awful against Bob Holly, who to me works really snug at this point because he believes his gimmick. I don't remember that kind of stiffness when he was Thurman Plugg. Bad match, ending with Test, Richards, Dreamer & Sandman jumping in. So I guess tag team matches are on the way.

 

What else ? Another overwritten promo by Matt Striker and Kelly Kelly hitting on CM Punk, telling him she wants to go out with him in a club but she's only 19, in the sluttiest way imaginable. I wonder if they fucked. Oh, it's CM Punk, they probably did.