The Most Useless Tag Team or Stable Ever?

[JaymeFuture]

So for this week's podcast we're looking for your nominations on the Most Useless Tag Team or Stable you believe you've ever seen in wrestling - from any company at any period of time.

 

You can pick either a full-time tag team or stable to focus on here, so nice and broad, but we're looking for the general uselessness of the unit, and WHY they get your nod for the most useless there's ever been.

 

As always the best contributions will be read on the show and you'll be credited accordingly. So who gets your vote for this lofty title?

 

EDIT - Our show debating the Most Useless Tag Team or Stable Ever, featuring many of your contributions, is now online and available to listen to at the following link: http://squaredcirclegazette.podbean.com/mf/web/rck6cq/SCG_Radio_92_-_The_Most_Useless_Tag_Team_or_Stable_Ever.mp3

[Mr. Lacelle]

The Million Dollar Corporation was so boring that it was useless due to apathy.

[Hegs]

I don't know if you would call it a stable, but Teddy Lang's group in WCW consisting of Joey Maggs, Craig Pittman, Jim Powers, Bobby Walker, and Ice Train was directionless and appeared thrown together for no apparent reason.

[Migs]

X-Factor's theme song was kinda catchy, and when I was in college, those of us who watched Raw together really enjoyed it. Otherwise, I can literally think of nothing positive that happened with them.

[El-P]

D.O.A. Because the Attitude era was also about Brian Lee & the Harris boyz feuding with LOD 2000. (and before that, of course, those immortal matches against the Boricuas, aka "let's totally ruin four good PR workers" and the Nation)

[Beast]

I'd get more specific and say the Harris Twins may be the team that had the most runs in the big two promotions and did the least.

[supersonic]

I will allow everyone else to address WWE, WCW, and TNA for this particular topic; I'll instead be making numerous ROH contributions.

Firstly, the Group of 2003 led by Steve Corino. Many will first point to the faction's uncreative name and have a giggle, but that was the least of its problems. While the individual members were solid with new sensation Samoa Joe, terrific heel Michael Shane (ROH's best before CM Punk's feud against Raven), and ECW alumnus CW Anderson, there was no real substantial purpose behind this faction. Forget that Corino had other commitments such as Zero-One at this point in his career and Xavier had a lengthy absence due to a concussion; who the hell was aching to see Corino, Joe, Shane, & Anderson feud against the Prophecy of Dan Maff, Xavier, Donovan Morgan, & Christopher Daniels? It was tedious from inception and the entire idea should've been aborted on the scrapping room floor. Gabe Sapolsky and ROH ought to be highly thankful for the Raven vs. Punk and Corino vs. Homicide feuds boiling in 2003, otherwise this Group vs. Prophecy angle would've had many questioning Sapolsky's storytelling abilities.

The Embassy 2009-2014 were an absolutely useless faction that provided the most minimal value even for match quality. At its best, it was harmless for members; at its worst, it stalled momentum for many. As soon as Prince Nana left the company in 2006, there was never any reason to resurrect the faction; just leave the tremendous memories alone from the feuds against CM Punk, AJ Styles, and Generation Next, and find something fresh for Nana to do when he makes his various returns since 2009, especially since the company couldn't be bothered to have Nana becomes the Kings of Wrestling's mouthpiece at the expense of Shane Hagadorn.

Another lousy Sapolsky idea was in 2007 when he went in a faction warfare direction; this was due to the success that company partner Dragon Gate had with it. By focusing so much on what were mostly useless factions, the product suffered overall especially with lack of detail for Nigel McGuinness's chase to the top. Such ROH factions formed in 2007 include:

The Resilience - led by Austin Aries, other members included dry personalities Matt Cross & Erick Stevens

Hangmen Three - led by often ennui-inducing Adam Pearce, other members included dry personalities Brent Albright and BJ Whitmer

Vulture Squad - led by Jack Evans, other members Ruckus and Jigsaw, with Julius Smokes as their mouthpiece after Homicide's departure. This particular faction has the worst opening sound effect I've ever heard for a wrestling theme; fortunately for you, I'm unable to find it online to share.

The faction warfare fell apart for a number of reasons by 2008, never resulting in anything monumental. Ultimately though, it was something that should've been aborted on the scrapping room floor; even if better decisions had been made with it, such as keeping the Kings of Wrestling together as part of Larry Sweeney's Sweet 'N Sour Inc and Aries recruiting newcomers Kevin Steen & El Generico in his war against Roderick Strong's No Remorse Corps. The result was a year that showed a STEEP decline in Sapolsky's storytelling performance and many on the ROH roster suffered for it with lousy or even no directions, such as McGuinness as already mentioned, as well as Steen & Generico after their feud ended against the Briscoes.

[jcmmnx]

The New Midnight Express.

[DMJ]

The League of Nations immediately jumps into my mind. ADR and Sheamus weren't exactly hot before teaming up, but this stable put them in 3 Man Band range. Del Rio and Sheamus didn't even make the PPV card last night, so, just goes to show where they are on the pecking order...

[DMJ]

The New Midnight Express.

Was that roughly the same time period as Cornette's NWA stable in the late 90s? I remember that idea really sucked too, the kind of angle that, to a knowledgable wrestling fan made some sense, but, to the fan who had only recently been tuning into wrestling thanks to the nWo and Steve Austin would probably have come off like the dumbest "rip off" of the nWo, even if only because of their name and the fact that, IIRC, Cornette's goal was to somehow "take over" the WWE and written it to traditional wrestling.

[NotJayTabb]

When a stable is so rubbish, you have to Google what it was called, you know they weren't exactly memorable, but that was the case when I just had to go to JBL's Wiki page to find out his band of lackey's were called The Cabinet. JBL wasn't exactly setting the world alight his title run, so I've no idea why they thought adding Orlando Jordan and the Bashams at his side would help anyone. The only thing memorable about the Cabinet was that John Cena needed to lose the US title before facing JBL at Mania, with the net result that the biggest star in post-millennium WWE ended up losing a title to Orlando Jordan. To put the lameness of the Cabinet in perspective, they were sort-of feuding with Kurt Angle's rubbish stable of himself, Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, and it was Kurt's boys who looked more credible. Just a waste of time

[Infinit]

The No Limit Soldiers in WCW.

[Death From Above]

Truth Commission. A South African white power military activist group is a Really Not Good Content idea. I'm not even sure half the guys ever got above doing jobs on Shotgun Saturday Night either, so it's not as if the WWF even saw anything much in the idea either. Why they were even there is somewhat of a mystery.

 

I was also going to initially answer the Stevie Ray-led nWo black and white, because goddamn. But Truth Commission was even worse.

[Death From Above]

Let's also pause to remember that some poor boys had dreams of stardom in wrestling and were forced to be the Ding Dongs. Life isn't always fair.

 

https://youtu.be/ZHcMK3a4Vj8

[Memphis Mark]

The Coalition . . Nothing against the guys in the Coalition , but they ain't Austin Idol , Tommy Rich , Paul E and Buddy Landel. The Coalition started out with a line up of Big Bubba, Goliath , Bad Company, Don Bass , Carl Fergie and Brickhouse Brown . At the end only Brickhouse , Bass and Fergie were left to wrap up the program with Lawler and Dundee .

[Laz]

Road Dogg/K-Krush were a tag team just before they were both let go in 2000/2001. The team started when Roadie was hosting at WWF New York and Krush bested him in a freestyle, IIRC. Good times.

[Phil Austin]

The Union in WWF. And the Dudes with Attitude in WCW (I think that was what they were named).

 

Seriously, the top faces forming stables to face off against a heel group should be money. But these were just awful despite having some decent name talent. How stables comprising Mankind, Big Show, Shamrock and Test, or Sting, JYD, Orndorff, Luger and the Steiners (and El Gigante, but, well, there you go...) can be such forgettable stables is amazing!

[Lee]

The Desperados and their sole purpose of looking for Stan Hansen, who apparently wanted nothing to do with them anyway.

[JRH]

Here's an obscure one, Diamond Dallas Page's Diamond Exchange, consisting of the Freebirds, Badstreet, Diamond Studd, Big Daddy Dink, and Page himself. Even as a younger fan I could tell this was low-rent, and a desperate attempt to keep the Freebirds relevant (i remember Inside Wrestling did an article hyping them as the next big heel stable which i got a good laugh from, especially when the Dangerous Alliance formed that fall).

[Al]

Second the choice of the League of Nations. That group simultaneously reduced the stock of four heels, a remarkable feat.

 

Da Baldies in ECW

 

The Hillbillies in WWF in 1985. There is no reason why a wrestling promotion needed to make a special effort to keep Uncle Elmer employed.

[Downend2005]

The Shane Twins. The poor bastards had not only one, but two shitty tag runs which make them worthy of consideration.

 

First of all, they were The Johnsons in TNA. Thats right, their entire TNA gimmick was them wearing full latex bodysuits to resemble a pair of large penises (that Vince Russo is really edgy isn't he?) Actually come to think of it, they probably felt like a pair of pricks in that gimmick, so maybe the name was apt after all.

 

They then went on to have a run in WWE after that as the Gymini. Not Gemini you understand, but Gymini, a really clever pun combining both the mythological Gemini twins and Simon Deans fitness instructor gimmick. Oh yes, remember? They were paired with that world beater Simon Dean. Actually, that stable could be worthy of nomination too, come to think of it.

 

Sticking to the twins though, they were called Gymini #1 and Gymini #2 at first, because they were that shit that no one had bothered to even think to name them individually. Eventually, they were named Jake and Jesse, which I'm sure everyone can agree was far more creative. So did that actually mean then that Gymini was now supposed to be their surname and not just a play on words? What are the odds, your surname being Gymini and also being paired with a fitness instructor. How convenient!

 

All they did the entire time they were there was squash jobbers (badly) on velocity. They had no memorable matches or angles. Their gear was boring black trunks, and their theme music could have easily been mistaken for one from a 2006 C show. Even WWEs own YouTube account declared them as being boring. Not only were they useless, but they were pointless as well.

[Laz]

The Corre. Take three of the original Nexus members that showed some real potential, add Ezekiel Jackson, and lose every single big match because heel groups without a McMahon can't get a push, and voila.

[NotJayTabb]

The Shane Twins. The poor bastards had not only one, but two shitty tag runs which make them worthy of consideration.

 

First of all, they were The Johnsons in TNA. Thats right, their entire TNA gimmick was them wearing full latex bodysuits to resemble a pair of large penises (that Vince Russo is really edgy isn't he?) Actually come to think of it, they probably felt like a pair of pricks in that gimmick, so maybe the name was apt after all.

 

They then went on to have a run in WWE after that as the Gymini. Not Gemini you understand, but Gymini, a really clever pun combining both the mythological Gemini twins and Simon Deans fitness instructor gimmick. Oh yes, remember? They were paired with that world beater Simon Dean. Actually, that stable could be worthy of nomination too, come to think of it.

 

Sticking to the twins though, they were called Gymini #1 and Gymini #2 at first, because they were that shit that no one had bothered to even think to name them individually. Eventually, they were named Jake and Jesse, which I'm sure everyone can agree was far more creative. So did that actually mean then that Gymini was now supposed to be their surname and not just a play on words? What are the odds, your surname being Gymini and also being paired with a fitness instructor. How convenient!

 

All they did the entire time they were there was squash jobbers (badly) on velocity. They had no memorable matches or angles. Their gear was boring black trunks, and their theme music could have easily been mistaken for one from a 2006 C show. Even WWEs own YouTube account declared them as being boring. Not only were they useless, but they were pointless as well.

Ha, I actually thought the Shane Twins seemed ok in the ring (based solely on them dragging something watchable out of a past-it Road Warriors and Nasty Boys in XWF), but both these gimmicks were appalling. Trust TNA to take something as surefire a muscular, competent twins and instead use them as masked penises.

[Cox]

WCW once had a stable consisting of The Nightstalker, The Motor City Madman, and Big Cat Curtis Hughes. It's hard to think of a worse, more useless stable.

[JaymeFuture]

I want to thank everybody for the contributions, we got to read many of them on the show, which is now available at the following link:

http://squaredcirclegazette.podbean.com/mf/web/rck6cq/SCG_Radio_92_-_The_Most_Useless_Tag_Team_or_Stable_Ever.mp3

Join us as we debate the Most Useless Tag Team or Stable Ever! Taking your nominations, we look at the utter dross that has stunk up rings, such as stables like The Cabinet, The League of Nations, The Million Dollar Corporation, S.E.X, The Truth Commission, D.O.A, The First Family, The Union, The Mean Street Posse, X-Factor and The No Limit Soldiers, and tag teams such as the Harris Boys, The Bolsheviks, The Bushwhackers, The New Blackjacks, The Young Stallions, Lo Down, The Brothers of Destruction and yes, Viscera and Charlie Haas. Listen in as we engage in a race to the bottom, and decide who deserves this thorny crown!