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CM Punk: Greatest Promo Ever


goodhelmet

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Also, LOL at Cena's logic. Punk beat him so he's the champ and Cena thought he was about get stripped of his title. Does that mean that because he beat HHH at WM 22 he can strip him of his COO title? What???

Honestly between this and the needless bit with Johnny Ace that seemingly meant nothing and went nowhere, I am hoping this leads to a Cena heel turn/corporate champion coronation at Summerslam which is also the ONLY way this angle can be salvaged. The bottom line is that Cena's goody-good babyface, all about "honor" act does not mesh at all with the willingness to keep what is obviously a "paper" championship. The fact that he employed the logic above is comical to the point of absurdity and either illustrates that the WWE is now the least logical television enterprise in history...or this storyline is going somewhere else.

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I was telling Dylan last night that this hinges on Punk's next interaction with Cena but they sort of cut the balls off with the main focus as HHH the Decider... deciding an outcome to the title "controversy" that isn't that controversial. We can only hope that next week the focus goes back to Punk-Cena and Punk calls Cena out on being an opportunistic douche and includes Rey Mysterio somehow.

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Is it a bad sign that Cena got heavily cheered over Punk last night? I know that's to be expected, because Punk never really made a face turn, but I still got Royal Rumble '94 flashbacks. I could imagine people backstage watching that and thinking, "see, he's not that over." If the same thing happens next week, I expect Cena to win at Summerslam.

They carefully booked it so Cena would be cheered more. Punk was super over at the start of the night. Then Triple H slightly deflated him. Then you have Johnny Ace come out and get heel heat. Making a point to needle JR. Cena comes out and drops the Sesame Cena shit and threatens to punch Ace's teeth in. Then Punk finally makes his appearance.

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I hate that they're putting Laurinaitis on TV, but at least he's not being used in any real capacity. I got a kick out of him introducing himself and explaining his job, and then HHH just butts in with "What is this, career day?"

 

What?

Laurinitis was surprisingly effective.

I walked away from that episode wishing that for storyline purposes he had been put in charge of the WWE instead of HHH. Laurainitis came off super comfortable in the role of stoogeing managerial heel,the perfect mix of campy General Takada in Hustle and a David Simon style evil middle magnager (more Klebanow than James Whiting but he felt like he had the potential to go full on Lieutenant Marimow).

 

Since everyone else is fantasy booking this angle, I'm saying they should drop the whole Helmsley aspect (have him blow out his knee) and bring in George Hines to back Laurainitis up.

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Hunter helps Cena win the title and turns heel in a reprise of the corporate champion angle. WWE capitalizes on Punk's babyface reactions and makes him the one chasing the title for a little bit before WWE mismanages the whole thing and it's babyface Rock vs. heel Cena at WrestleMania.

 

This helps make Cena look subservient to Triple H, which is certainly Hunter's wet dream right now, and WWE turns a heel who gets face reactions into a face just to make a buck selling T-shirts in Punk.

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I just watched the promos from Monday's Raw and I laughed at Hunter calling Punk "skinnyfat." That's a derogatory bodybuilding term for people built, well, like Punk: Lean but not well-defined and without visible abs.

 

Are moments like this, much like calling Chris Jericho "that sawed-off midget", just Hunter getting caught up in the moment and saying something off-script or him purposely trying to take a dig at someone?

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So apparently MITB did about 135K domestic. Good numbers for a B-show, but not blowaway. Looks like we'd better get used to Punk eating Pedigrees.

I imagine this will be typical WWE: When someone like Triple H is just not getting over (most of his initial heel run in 1999) they'll give him every chance in the world until something finally clicks. When someone like Rob Van Dam doesn't turn the entire business around in four weeks (fall of 2001) they give up and toss him aside until they really have no other choice.

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I'd like to know what drugs people expect Punk to start taking to go along with a gameplan that involves him eating Pedigrees.

Will he have a choice? I strongly doubt he has veto power in his contract.

 

I strongly doubt he would have signed a contract that didn't give him some say in storylines he's involved in. I doubt he has Hogan level creative control, but the whole reason his last deal went down to the last month ( assume he signed right before the first promo) was because he wanted certain conditions. I doubt he'd trade months of eating Pedigrees for a week off.

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Maybe Triple H will decide that Punk "really wants it" and isn't another person who's going to bail after getting a push and actually give him some rub? I think he just doesn't like to put over anyone he doesn't think takes the business as seriously as he does.

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