The WWE Global Cruiserweight show

[C.S.]

Zack Sabre Jr.'s tights are way too small for his body. He needs to go up a size. Just saying. Wrestling-wise, I really liked his unique style, but it definitely felt a bit low key for the "THIS IS AWESOME!!!" obnoxious smark Full Sail fans. Bryan even acknowledged as much by pointing out things that he said would not necessarily wow a crowd but impress other wrestlers.

 

The Kendrick-Mendoza match was a lot of fun, but I really hope the "pretty face" stuff for Mendoza was meant ironically, because that is one ugly pug-looking motherfucker.

 

I still think the commentary is mostly fine. Some flaws and growing pains, but still miles ahead of what we see on the main shows. The only thing I don't like is how Mauro and Bryan telegraph every single winner. It makes all of the matches too predictable.

 

BTW, did anyone else notice that Ciampa and Gargano were referred to as "former" tag team partners? What's the deal there? They're supposedly getting an NXT Tag Team Title match against The Revival at Takeover: Brooklyn (or so I'm assuming).

[Gutenberger]

I really was not impressed at all with tthe ZSJ match. Don't get me wrong, it looked fine, but it just had that pure exhibition vibe, that just doesn't fit into a tournament in my eyes. Also, for a match that relied so heavy on working the body parts, these two walked around just fine for most of the time, which really broght me out of it a bit.

 

Who really impressed me is Tony Nese. I think he has great looks, can pull off power moves, is agile and I just liked the way his offense looked. That spot at the end, right before the 450 was weird. It seemed as if Bennett was really hurt, and then to go through and hat that 450 just seems very unneccessary.

 

And lastly I'm so glad to see Kendrick back. In the videos he comes across who knows he's done some shitty things and really regrets them, and Ithink he has a ton of charisma. His heel mannerisms just worked so fine, not as someone who's evil, but just someone who konws what it takes to win sometimes and isn't afraif of doing it. Loved it.

[C.S.]

I forgot to mention Anthony Bennett. I really liked him and I kinda thought he should have won. He would likely go a lot further on Raw or Smackdown than Tony Nese ever will. Hope he's not seriously injured.

[Johnny Sorrow]

Kendrick vs Raul fucking ruled. Nese locked great. I hope Bennett is ok but he's not good.

Oh and Zach Sabre was awful. It was like watching a giant Pez Dispenser doing some shitty modern dance. Yuck.

[C.S.]

I hope Bennett is ok but he's not good.

 

Other than maybe 4 or 5 of the truly elite, most of these guys would die an instant death on Raw - Cruiseweight division or not. Bennett is one of the very few who could stick around for years to come. Future World Champion? No, but I see far more upside in his character and act than I do someone like Tony Nese.

[Johnny Sorrow]

A green skinny dude who stinks doing a Kid n Play gimmick in 2016 has more upside than a guy who can wrestle and has the now weird nerd stigma of being muscular . Really.

 

Stop it. This weird backlash at guys with muscles has gone too far, if anyone thought Nese was the problem with that match, then anyone is dumb. Kid n Play guy stunk, and Nese was trying his best to cover it and work with the green sloppy zero.

[The Thread Killer]

Yes, Anthony Bennett was not so good. Nese was better than him, and yeah he had muscles. In my opinion he is taking HGH, or some other growth related supplement or steroid to get those muscles.

 

For those who may not agree with me, I refer you back to Barry Bonds. During his first few years in MLB, especially during his years in Pittsburgh, Bonds looked relatively normal. Some time after going to San Fran, his head began to show noticeable signs of growth. You can google before and after pictures, and there is no doubt that his head began to get bigger, specifically his forehead and upper cranium. Lo-and-behold, later it comes to light that he is taking all sorts of PED's and Lord knows what else. It is a proven fact that HGH and some roids and supplements cause the head to grow up to two hat sizes bigger.

 

Robbie Lawler in UFC is another guy with the same problem. Early is his career, he looks fairly normal. Starts his career hot, cools off due to injuries, racks up a couple of losses, and then all of the sudden he gets hot again...but he is much more muscular and has a noticeably bigger head. Now he looks like the Great freaking Gazoo. At one point during his career, I noticed the same problem with Edge, although he seems to have gotten mysteriously smaller since he retired.

 

My point is, Tony Nese is absolutely ripped. He also has a giant freak head. To quote Stuart Mackenzie, it's like an orange on a toothpick. His head's like Sputnik. Spherical, but quite pointy in parts. A virtual planetoid that has it's own weather system. He has the exact same massive forehead and disproportionate cranium that Bonds and Lawler have.

 

Problem is, if he actually does get signed, he probably won't be able to keep that look and get it past the Wellness Policy, since they can now test for HGH. Also, one of the good things about Cruiserweights for me was that they didn't rely on the same old tired "he who has the best muscles gets the biggest push" philosophy. Cruiserwieghts were different, because it didn't really matter what they looked like, as long as the could go. I guess in a sense, Nese stands out because he looks like more of a bodybuilder than a wrestler, and compared to guys like Sabre and Mendoza it's not even close. Plus he can wrestle that Cruiserweight style.

 

But I don't know how long that will remain an upside if he has to submit to regular drug testing.

[C.S.]

A green skinny dude who stinks doing a Kid n Play gimmick in 2016 has more upside than a guy who can wrestle and has the now weird nerd stigma of being muscular . Really.

 

Stop it. This weird backlash at guys with muscles has gone too far, if anyone thought Nese was the problem with that match, then anyone is dumb. Kid n Play guy stunk, and Nese was trying his best to cover it and work with the green sloppy zero.

 

I never said Nese was the problem with the match, so don't put words into my mouth. I don't give a flying fuck about Nese's muscles either.

 

His character - if you can call it that - is bland as fuck. Being a "worker" alone gets you nowhere in WWE. You know that. And as a worker, let's face it, Nese is hardly elite by the standards this tournament has set. We're not talking about Kota Ibushi here.

 

Bennett has tremendous upside as a character and personality. He's still young, so there's no reason to think he can't or won't improve in the ring over time.

[Blehschmidt]

Gallagher vs Aichner was fantastic!

[...TG]

Fun show so far, better than last week though below the first two weeks' shows. Rich Swann did a standing 450, which I had never seen before. Is that one of his regular moves? Noam Dar had a stinker with the other Bollywood kid - it was a long, long taping so crowd may have been burnt out but it wasn't much of a match. First time seeing Jack Gallagher, and he lived up to the hype and got way over with the crowd and especially Bryan. His opponent was game too, looks like a smaller Cesaro. Gargano-Ciampa next.

[...TG]

Really intense, stiff as hell match between Gargano & Ciampa. Sick of the apron spots, but they're in vogue right now. Loved the finish especially.

[Johnny Sorrow]

I'm sure Kid and Play can improve. I hope he does and I hope he has success and makes a ton of money. But right now he stinks. Nese has an upside, that being the fact that he's a fucking pro wrestler and he's good at it. Character work can come next .

[Blehschmidt]

TG, the standing 450 was Swann's finish on the Indy circuit.

[C.S.]

I'm sure Kid and Play can improve. I hope he does and I hope he has success and makes a ton of money. But right now he stinks. Nese has an upside, that being the fact that he's a fucking pro wrestler and he's good at it. Character work can come next .

Nese is 38 years old. He's had plenty of time to develop a character. Anthony Bennett, at 21, is already leaps and bounds ahead of Nese in that department. I'd question Nese's instincts here, not "The Kid Who Don't Play." We're going in circles here, so let's just agree to disagree on this.

 

Anyway, my thoughts on this week's show:

 

- Rich Swann vs. Jason Lee was underwhelming to me. Swann didn't impress me as much as I was hoping, but to be fair: 1. This was Swann's first match after a shoulder injury. 2. Swann has his character and mannerisms down pat. Awesome stuff. 3. I'm sure Lee was suffering from the dreaded jetlag. Seriously though, the commentators missed a major opportunity to go into Swann's anger when his facial expression turned because they were too busy droning on about Cena speaking Mandarin. Who gives a fuck?

 

- Noam Dar vs. Gurv Shira was nothing special, and the wrong guy won - only because Dar is the first WWE wrestler ever born in Israel. Not sure why that matters but it was a major talking point and something they obviously see value in - for this round at least. My only hope is that they see more upside in The Bollywood Boys as a tag team and sign and push them that way.

 

- Jack Gallagher vs. Fabian Aichner was great fun, and contrary to the silly comment that was posted earlier, I liked Aicher even though he had muscles growing out of muscles. In any other match, Aichner would have been the star. He's the perfect example of someone making the most out of this opportunity even in loss, which is something that not everyone in the tournament has done IMO. As for the winner, Gallagher was amazing. I love everything about the "Extraordinary Gentleman." His wrestling style, his look, his character, his mannerisms. No one else would be able to make those trunks, boots, and ridiculous little mustache work, but Jack Gallagher pulls it off.

 

- Wow, wow, WOW at Johnny Gargano vs. Tomasso Ciampa. They showed that they're among the most seasoned wrestlers in the tournament with an incredible match that told a brilliant and brutal story. Easily the best match of the CWC thus far. I cannot say enough good things about it, and I hope both men's stocks have risen considerably because of it.

 

[shoe]

 

I'm sure Kid and Play can improve. I hope he does and I hope he has success and makes a ton of money. But right now he stinks. Nese has an upside, that being the fact that he's a fucking pro wrestler and he's good at it. Character work can come next .

Nese is 38 years old. He's had plenty of time to develop a character. Anthony Bennett, at 21, is already leaps and bounds ahead of Nese in that department. I'd question Nese's instincts here, not "The Kid Who Don't Play." We're going in circles here, so let's just agree to disagree on this.

 

Anyway, my thoughts on this week's show:

 

- Rich Swann vs. Jason Lee was underwhelming to me. Swann didn't impress me as much as I was hoping, but to be fair: 1. This was Swann's first match after a shoulder injury. 2. Swann has his character and mannerisms down pat. Awesome stuff. 3. I'm sure Lee was suffering from the dreaded jetlag. Seriously though, the commentators missed a major opportunity to go into Swann's anger when his facial expression turned because they were too busy droning on about Cena speaking Mandarin. Who gives a fuck?

 

- Noam Dar vs. Gurv Shira was nothing special, and the wrong guy won - only because Dar is the first WWE wrestler ever born in Israel. Not sure why that matters but it was a major talking point and something they obviously see value in - for this round at least. My only hope is that they see more upside in The Bollywood Boys as a tag team and sign and push them that way.

 

- Jack Gallagher vs. Fabian Aichner was great fun, and contrary to the silly comment that was posted earlier, I liked Aicher even though he had muscles growing out of muscles. In any other match, Aichner would have been the star. He's the perfect example of someone making the most out of this opportunity even in loss, which is something that not everyone in the tournament has done IMO. As for the winner, Gallagher was amazing. I love everything about the "Extraordinary Gentleman." His wrestling style, his look, his character, his mannerisms. No one else would be able to make those trunks, boots, and ridiculous little mustache work, but Jack Gallagher pulls it off.

 

- Wow, wow, WOW at Johnny Gargano vs. Tomasso Ciampa. They showed that they're among the most seasoned wrestlers in the tournament with an incredible match that told a brilliant and brutal story. Easily the best match of the CWC thus far. I cannot say enough good things about it, and I hope both men's stocks have risen considerably because of it.

To be fair to the rest of the field . Ciampa and Gargano have a ton of history together. So they had that built in advantage to have a good match. Not taking anything away from them. They had a good match. Though they got the most favored draw out of everyone.

[jcmmnx]

Kendrick, Gallagher, and Ciampa were the 3 best guys in the first round. I can't stand Gargano, and a couple of those kickouts made me roll me eyes so hard.

[C.S.]

To be fair to the rest of the field . Ciampa and Gargano have a ton of history together. So they had that built in advantage to have a good match. Not taking anything away from them. They had a good match. Though they got the most favored draw out of everyone.

 

That's true too, but regardless of the history or reasons, they still raised the bar and gave everyone else something to aim for.

 

They also opened my eyes. To be honest, they've done nothing for me as a tag team in NXT. I had no reason to care about them before the CWC. (I'd never seen Gargano before NXT and had only seen Ciampa once.)

 

Other than Gargano vs. Ciampa, these were my favorite matches in the tournament: Jack Gallagher vs. Fabian Aichner, Kota Ibushi vs. Sean Maluta, and Brian Kendrick vs. Raul Mendoza. I'm probably forgetting one or two other standouts, but in all of my examples, both guys shined. That hasn't been the case with every match in the tournament IMO.

[Gutenberger]

The whole time watching Aichner vs. Gallagher I wat thinking "Well, if Aichner isn't gonna be teamed with Cesaro, I don't know." It just fits, both german speaking, muscula guys who can pull off great power moves and great high-flying moves.
But Gallagher was amazing in his own right. The only thing I'm afraid of IF he were to really sign and go to the main roster, he would be the third Vaudevillain. Just from has stature and mannerisms.

 

Ciampa vs. Gargano was awesome, although in essence a glorified squash with he one being squashed coming off the winner. But the story they told was fantastic, and everything just looked so crisp. At the end, when Ciampa sat down next to Johnny, I have to admit i had goosebumps just because I thought it was a great moment and fit so perfectly.

 

the first two matches of the night didn' do much for me. Apart from Swann having a great deal of charisma, no one stood out at all.

[The Chief]

If they're doing this Cruiserweight thing on Raw I almost feel they just throw Gallagher out there and let him sink or swim. He's so unique I feel he'll get over the second he's introduced. He's definitely got the WTF factor.

[Luchaundead]

If they're doing this Cruiserweight thing on Raw I almost feel they just throw Gallagher out there and let him sink or swim. He's so unique I feel he'll get over the second he's introduced. He's definitely got the WTF factor.

 

I read "Gargano" at first and almost lost my mind but upon rereading I ask it correctly, I could not agree with you more in his current incarnation Gallagher is a worker that you instantly have a reaction to and doesn't much more if any seasoning for the big time I'd say just point out where the cameras are and let him go. Also doesn't hurt that he's a shooter which Vince will always have a soft spot for.

[sek69]

Gallagher has a unique persona, but his success would hinge on WWE writers overcoming the urge to make him the new Santino. Which you know they would the second they saw his old timey Conan O'Brien look.

[Johnny Sorrow]

Gallagher is fantastic. He does what Sabre does a hundred times better, and knows how to be a pro wrestler.

[Grimmas]

Gallagher is fantastic. He does what Sabre does a hundred times better, and knows how to be a pro wrestler.

How much of these guys have you seen outside of the Cruiserweight Classic? That is a pretty bold statement that just isn't true and I love both guys.

[Jimmy Redman]

I've finally seen all of the first round now, so I have a couple thoughts.

 

Besides a few exceptions most of the matches were varying degrees of fine, ranging from neat showcases to the unremarkable. That's a first round for you, and I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss a guy out of hand based on one 4-6 minute match, whether it's an unknown international or a guy with a big indy reputation. In fact I think a lot of them showed potential and I'd be happy for WWE to sign any of them up. The matches that stood out were the ones that had two equally strong elements, rather than being a showcase for one, or a perfunctory match for two.

 

Kendrick vs Mendoza was a great little match. Kendrick is one of the most interesting guys in it, with his sunken cheekbones and wild eyes he's nailing the 'desperate veteran' vibe. Bryan also adds a lot to it by barracking for him so openly. And then just when you think this is Kendrick's match vs some scrub, Mendoza comes out luchaing all over the place and being awesome. He got his shine in and looked so good that it gave weight to Kendrick's decision to take a shortcut - Mendoza was pushing him so much that he HAD to go there lest he win in the first round of a tournament that he HAS TO win. That's desperation for you.

 

The second half of Ep 4 was head and shoulders above the rest of the shows so far combined. Jack Gallagher is the best. He is the perfect World of Sport cosplayer of all of my dreams and is already my new favourite wrestler. He's got it all - the look, the gimmick, the manner, and all of the yummy British wrestling goodness to go along with it. I am in love. AND THEN, just when you think this is Gallagher's match vs some scrub, Aichner comes out looking like Cesaro's gorgeous younger brother and is totally awesome too. This was great because Aichner was good enough with the holds to compete, and thus make Gallagher's stuff look that much better when he escaped. And then not only can he hang on the mat and rough it up, he busts out a double springboard moonsault and blows minds. Aichner needs to be signed immediately, he's my new second favourite wrestler. And then Gallagher finishes things with THAT dropkick to the face. That's such a great finish that not is the one link between this 70s throwback and 2016, but is also a death blow that adds physical credibility to such a fun, gentlemanly grappler. I loved everything about this.

 

And yet, Gargano vs Ciampa was something else entirely. It actually brought the whole tournament up a level. Again, I'm not against perfunctory first round matches or exhibition-style showcases, but this is the one match that put this tournament over as not just a fun, exciting novelty, but a legit competition. All the other guys (besides Kendrick) are just so happy to be there - Gargano and Ciampa are willing to literally kill their own best friend in the head until he dies just to get to the next round. Ciampa was a fucking psychopath. He was the star here, taking offense to this Johnny Wrestling bullshit (you got the sense that he has to put up with this shit being his tag team partner, and relished the opportunity to hit the little punk in the face a couple times without repercussions) and mercilessly destroying the guy with shot after shot. Gargano to his credit ate everything like a champ and did the glassy-eyed concussion sell very well. The finish was amazingly done and believable as a way for Ciampa to slip up after that beating, and both guys looked super at the end of this.

 

The post match was perfect and so touching. It's funny that these guys beating the utter shit out of each other is the one thing that has sold me on Ciampa and Gargano as a tag team. (Well, that and #GLORIOUSBOMB)

 

So I've enjoyed this and am really looking forward to the next round now that a lot of the blander guys are gone.

 

Last of all, I'm beating a dead horse by now but fuck, the presentation of this show as an entire package is incredible. I love the sport-like feel with the weigh ins, bracketology, stats, all of it. Plus the different visual set up with the corner entrance, the video game graphics, and then earnest announcing from Mauro and Bryan trying to treat it like a real contest...this is the good stuff.

 

Us smarks haven't stopped pinching ourselves for a few years now, and the pinches seem to come exponentially now, but we can totally add this to the list of "Holy shit, can you imagine someone telling you five years ago that Triple H would organise a WWE cruiserweight tournament with the best indy workers in the world??"

 

This actually makes me think of the vision I had for NXT when they first introduced it as the reality show-style show with Bryan in 2010. When they turned it into a joke show I started fantasy booking an alternative in my head, a much more serious competition that stayed entirely within kayfabe, but treated the wrestlers like athletes who were trying to win matches. In 2010 things like Ultimate Fighter and TNA Reaction and shaky cam and general reality-style shows were all the rage, and I felt WWE really missed the boat with the embarrassing, cartoony piece of shit they produced. I wanted NXT to be WWE's Ultimate Fighter.

 

I started writing NXT S1 in the Armchair Booking folder years ago, and I forgot to finish it. This more than anything has made me want to go back and finish writing it out, but the funny thing is that WWE has changed so drastically in the last few years, between presentation and wrestling style and hiring practices and the entirety of 'what is possible in WWE in 2016 that wasn't remotely possible in 2010'...that my vision of NXT now seems so passe. So stuck in 2010 and the cookie cutter WWE that the company has pushed past in so many ways. For the first time, WWE themselves have actually surpassed my dream for what they could accomplish with more of a "pure sports build".

 

In amongst all of this self-importance is the message that we shouldn't take things like the CWC for granted. Just stop and think about how impossible a pipe dream something like this show would have been five years ago, and enjoy the brave new world that we're all living in now.

[Johnny Sorrow]

Gargano and Ciampa did a match that should have been saved for later in their story.