El-P Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 Well, not quite, but still. It's been 30 years since Yoko first won a Royal Rumble whose price was facing the champ at Mania. Since then, it has become basically the #2 PPV of the year and a tradition of pointing at signs. What's interesting is that we as wrestling fans take so many things for granted as "making sense". Not just irish-whips, limb-selling and such, but also the fact the Royal Rumble is the pathway to main event the biggest show of the year as a challenger for the biggest title in pro-wrestling (fuck, Vince is back) sports-entertainment. But when you take one or two step back and think about it for more than 5 seconds, it appears this is actually quite ridiculous. Take NJPW for instance. They have made a similar stipulation with the G1 in the last decade. So basically, to main event the biggest show of the year and challenge for the biggest title, you have to participate in a grueling one-month round robin tournament that includes basically the biggest stars and best wrestler in the promotion (and often the world, really, for the later), you have to win your block and face the winner of the other block and win. That's fucking A cred. Meanwhile, in WWE, there is two requisite that gives you the equivalent status and right : the ability to not get thrown over the top rope (and have *both* your feet touch the floor, because I guess one foot on the floor means you haven't touched the floor or something, which is way odd); be lucky. I mean, let's get real. The stats tells us that almost 60% of the winners have entered between 20 and 30. So basically, luck is the biggest factor. Which in a way, is actually totally realistic. But still, in term of kayfabe, the person who main event Mania basically is mostly lucky and their biggest actual pro-wrestling ability warranted is staying inside the ring. Mind explodes. It's utterly ridiculous, and it's a trope that has spread onto every other american promotion, sadly. Of course that comes from the fact that the Royal Rumble, at the start, had nothing to do with actually main eventing Mania. It was just a special attraction, like every Battle Royal were. And most of these special attractions, in WWE territory at the very least, was mostly a showcase for the freakishly big guys aka Andre. Hence the idea that big guys are the most dangerous in these type of match when in fact, they actually never win it. If you think about Yoko-like monsters, who else ever won the Royal Rumble to go to Mania ? Well, I can give you Lesnar, although a different type of monster in a different era, who won twice, Taker I will concede although he's really not the same kinda monster either.... and that's it (yeah, Braun winning the Blood Money Rumble doesn't count). And really, the entire thing is build on idiotic tropes. Not only the "abilities" in questions, but also the fact actual monster never win despite always being represented as big menaces, the fact you can walk on the barricade and not be eliminated because you have not touched the floor (which is totally the equivalent of a child game where you can't touch the floor because it's lava or something, but as long as you're jumping from chair to your bed, you're ok), the fact there's stereotyped roles that are now part of the pretty aimless "now it's your turn to do it" booking (the Diesel role, the Flair role, the Bushwhacker Luke role) and so on... And since all leads to the Mania main event, the fact that oh well, pretty much only 2 or 3 people out of 30 can really win it, making the whole thing easily either super boring or rather entertaining in a very contrived, overly scripted way. And then of course, pointing at sign. Which hopefully won't catch fire this year. All of this to say that really, everything is on rails, and the only thing that can make a Rumble really interesting are the surprises, either cool because actually surprising (aka not the same old same old "surprise" you see every three years) or because totally unexpected debuts (AJ style) or returns (Cena). This year, the only surprise that would do it would be some name from AEW (I don't see who, honestly) or, of course, The Rock working everybody in the media. That would blow the roof off (and would also blow for Cody). Anywoo. The Rumble was the only WWE show I watched last year, and neither Rumble were good, the men's was a complete bore and the women's only was fun because of figuring who they would bring back (and Mickie James showing up as IMPACT champion). Well, the same this year on paper, really. I'm guessing whoever they bring as a surprise from the Diva eras haven't signed an NDA. I wouldn't be surprised to see Lana, honestly, considering how much she kissed their ass lately. So there. My former favorite PPV of the year (until 1999, which killed the WWF fan in me, and for that I'm forever grateful considering the turn everything took in the long run). Roman Reigns vs Kevin Owens (probably the highlight of the show, unless Rock's shows up) Bianca BelAir vs Alexa Bliss Hopefully Bliss vomits some fluorescent goo and goes straight to LORELAND. Bray Wyatt vs L.A Knight Bullshit LORE for dummies ? YEAH Men's Royal Rumble Either Cody wins, either The Rock shows up and proves that there is, after all, only one pro-wrestling royal family Women's Royal Rumble Ronda Rousey won last year's Rumble. Seems like something from before the pandemic right now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KawadaSmile Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 The Rock won't show up. He will never show up to wrestle again. Adrenaline In my soul 29 men Over the top rope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El-P Posted January 28, 2023 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 The other thing that would blow for Cody, is that because the Bloodline storyline is so damn over and Sami Zayn is so damn loved, he would end up receiving the same mixed reaction he did at the end in AEW because the audience wants Sami more than him. Oh, the ultimate irony. Odds of him crying when pointing at sign ? I also wonder what the revisionist history will be for Cody in a few years. Because he's basically Kevin Nash going back to WCW in 96 as a made star after leaving as Vinny Vegas. And they won't have that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NintendoLogic Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 Like so many terrible aspects of modern WWE, the Mania sign point can be attributed to HHH. The first instance I've been able to find was him doing it at the 2008 Rumble when he and Cena were the final two. Speaking of Taker, he may not be in the Rumble this year, but he was in town last night for his one (dead)man show. https://www.boeingcentertechport.com/events/detail/undertaker-1-deadman-show I'm sure he talked a lot about how soft today's wrestlers are and how he stands for the flag and kneels for the cross. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KawadaSmile Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 No, Cody will be cheered. He is over, will remain over for the return, and his victory will be praised. Sami's story almost needs him to be fucked over by Solo/Roman at this exact point. People suggested Codester would get the Batista treatment, but this seems completely absurd. Way, way different situations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El-P Posted January 28, 2023 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 I dunno. As an outside observer, my first instinct is that Sami Zayn should be the one at this point (would certainly not have said that 6 months ago). What's that compelling about Cody's rise ? He was in AEW, he came back so now he's a big star, he worked with a torn pec, now he beats Roman Reigns. Yipeedoo. I don't think he's getting the mixed reactions either. But the rise of Sami Zayn has kinda changed the overall dynamics. 17 minutes ago, NintendoLogic said: Like so many terrible aspects of modern WWE, the Mania sign point can be attributed to HHH. The first instance I've been able to find was him doing it at the 2008 Rumble when he and Cena were the final two. A few years ago I went through all the RR matches with the idea of making a project about it. Then I wrote zero. I do seem to remember that too now that you mention it. Fuck, another genius idea from the savior of pro-wrestling I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KawadaSmile Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 1 minute ago, El-P said: I dunno. As an outside observer, my first instinct is that Sami Zayn should be the one at this point (would certainly not have said that 6 months ago). What's that compelling about Cody's rise ? He was in AEW, he came back so now he's a big star, he worked with a torn pec, now he beats Roman Reigns. Yipeedoo. I don't think he's getting the mixed reactions either. But the rise of Sami Zayn has kinda changed the overall dynamics. Giving Roman both belts ended up giving them a reason to do one match per WM day, and they can even write the Bloodline's implosion to reach its climax at Wrestlemania - maybe even affecting both matches. Cody has the narrative of a guy returning from injury - an injury he had while putting on a great fucking match - and who still has the legacy of his father on his shoulders, while building his own. It's a "good" problem to have. I mean, I don't like it because Roman, the selfless man that he is, will have to put two people over in consecutive days, but still, getting TWO babyfaces this over is great stuff. And they are managing to build Solo as a top monster heel, too. He ain't the biggest, but neither was Umaga. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El-P Posted January 28, 2023 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 10 minutes ago, KawadaSmile said: I mean, I don't like it because Roman, the selfless man that he is, will have to put two people over in consecutive days, but still, getting TWO babyfaces this over is great stuff. I mean, it's time he put someone, anyone over. They have sacrificed their entire roster to him for more than two years straight for a match that is not going to happen. I highly doubt Roman Reigns is putting two people in a row though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Embrodak Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 Roman ain’t gonna job two days in a row. They ain’t giving Sami Zayn the “beat Roman’s streak” rub, no matter how over he is. I don’t think even Tony Khan would do that, tbh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Champagne Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 59 minutes ago, KawadaSmile said: No, Cody will be cheered. He is over, will remain over for the return, and his victory will be praised. Sami's story almost needs him to be fucked over by Solo/Roman at this exact point. People suggested Codester would get the Batista treatment, but this seems completely absurd. Way, way different situations. Agreed on all points. Note that Cody's merchandise apparently sold out before the Royal Rumble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KawadaSmile Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 50 minutes ago, El-P said: I mean, it's time he put someone, anyone over. They have sacrificed their entire roster to him for more than two years straight for a match that is not going to happen. I highly doubt Roman Reigns is putting two people in a row though. As they should have done, tbh. Maybe even sooner. I just don't know what this part in bold refers to. Like, is that supposed to be about Dwayne? He is never coming back. Never once I thought he was going to be back. He just doesn't want to have a match, flat out. They did a whole SmackDown dedicated to him and he didn't even record a message. The end goal wasn't to have Roman v Rock. It was to give Roman his big damn title reign. Give him this historical reign. It paid off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El-P Posted January 28, 2023 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 15 minutes ago, KawadaSmile said: I just don't know what this part in bold refers to. Like, is that supposed to be about Dwayne? It was absolutely about the Rock. 15 minutes ago, KawadaSmile said: The end goal wasn't to have Roman v Rock. Of course it was. It's well documented. 15 minutes ago, KawadaSmile said: It was to give Roman his big damn title reign. Give him this historical reign. It paid off! Of course. But the destination was always supposed to be the Rock match at Mania. Which Roman would have won. That being said, Roman is still nowhere close to what Cena was/ still is. He's not a mover like Cena. So, was it worth it to make your entire roster useless for two years straight ? If you ask me, the answer is still no. If I was a WWE follower, I would be so damn tired of Roman Reigns on top by now, great Bloodline storyline notwithstanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KawadaSmile Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 He never appeared, they never teased it. Rock flat out said "yeah, not gonna happen". They may have wanted it, but it was far from being the clear end goal because it was far from materializing. They would have advertised it to no end if it was the case. Like, Rock's been speculated to return for fucking ages now, even before Roman started having his reign. He is done. And y'know, we are better like this. Dude was toast 10 years ago physically. He is 50 and still on huge amounts of gas. Plus, his ego would never allow it. The Black Adam fiasco did a number on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sek69 Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 tbf it did seem that the whole Head of the Table thing was an obvious setup for a confrontation w/ the Rock since he's clearly the top money earner in the family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NintendoLogic Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 I was under the impression that the destination was Roman destroying everybody until the fans had no choice but to cheer for him and a Rock match was just another step in the journey. But that was before Cody returned and heated up to the point where he could be a viable face of the company, making the need for returning legends to put Roman over a lot less pressing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KawadaSmile Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 I wouldn't mind an eternal Roman reign tbh LA Knight has suffered a back injury from carrying this damn feud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoo Enthusiast Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 I have no expectations and no takes. I will be tuning in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strummer Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 Fightful reporting Men's Rumble will open the show Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffey Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 I'm glad I checked the forum because I didn't know this PPV was tonight & thought it was tomorrow. So now my wife & I have something to watch tonight. I can't wait to get pissed off at the dumbass "Kofi" spot that will be in the Rumble, if not twice in the night - one in each. If your whole ass body gets launched over the top rope & you land on the fucking ground, I don't give two shits if you keep a foot in the air, you should be eliminated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffey Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 30 minutes ago, Strummer said: Fightful reporting Men's Rumble will open the show Uhh... what? Why? That's the whole point of the PPV... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale Wolfe Posted January 28, 2023 Report Share Posted January 28, 2023 Absurd if the men's rumble is first. Ridiculous tbh Sami/Cody in a Bret/Lex double finish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sek69 Posted January 29, 2023 Report Share Posted January 29, 2023 my man Fluffy on the pre-show, nice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenese Sarwieh Posted January 29, 2023 Report Share Posted January 29, 2023 Coming in with the lowest expectations, I hope there is something good on the card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sek69 Posted January 29, 2023 Report Share Posted January 29, 2023 Well we already got Pat McAfee (and Cole apparently legit marking out for it), so we're doing great so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sek69 Posted January 29, 2023 Report Share Posted January 29, 2023 GUUNTAAA beating the shit out of fools for an hour is gonna slap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.