JaymeFuture Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 So, for this week's podcast, we're going to evaluate different gimmick match concepts throughout history in search of the one that, whether it be through its convoluted nature, a propensity for generating absolutely awful matches, or being a concept that is utterly horrid on paper and in practice, is the absolute worst ever devised, and as always, we're looking for your opinions on the subject.Which match concept did you dread the most or feel was utterly useless, and why do you feel it's the worst one ever put on a wrestling show? You can be as broad or obscure as you like in your nomination, and as always, the best contributions will be read on the show and you'll be credited accordingly.So what's your pick? EDIT - The podcast discussing The Worst Gimmick Match Concepts Ever, featuring a great many of your contributions is now online and available to listen to at the following link: http://squaredcirclegazette.podbean.com/mf/play/xrjsh8/SCGRadio72-TheWorstGimmickMatchConceptEver.mp3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotJayTabb Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 XPW once booked a Buck Naked match, where the object was to strip your opponent naked in the middle of the ring. Now obviously, two women willing to take part in such a match aren't going to be highly trained grapplers, but given that Rob Black was a pornographer, and both Lizzy Borden and Veronica Caine had a history in adult entertainment, the audience were clearly expecting some nudity. The execution was terrible. Borden and Caine were both members of heel factions (the Black Army and the Enterprise), so the crowd ended up babyfacing the Black Army for interfering and helping try to strip Caine, despite them being massive heels in a previous segment. It got to the point where Borden was just about to strip Caine....and the lights went out. When they came back on, Caine had vanished. The Enterprise took credit for this to big heel heat....which was promptly wasted in the next match as Enterprise member Steve Rizzono jobbed to a man in a monkey suit (literally billed as "A monkey") in a comedy match. What they managed to do was annoy their entire audience, taking away any reason to trust XPW stipulations in the future, accidentally babyfaced their main heel faction and wasted any heel heat with a throwaway 3 minute match in the next segment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mando Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 I almost feel bad taking potshots at it after it's suffered such abuse over the years and essentially became a punchline itself but the "Coal Miner's Glove Match". In theory and in execution (looking at you Jake and Sting) it's a tough sell. As young kids though my brother and I, while not understanding what made a coal miner's glove special or dangerous, found it easy enough to replicate at home wearing standard winter mittens pretending to adorn the feared elusive Coal Miner's Glove while wrestling and fighting our pillows and each other. Runner-up would be those lousy Inferno Matches that by their nature make it nearly impossible to produce anything substantive in-ring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingus Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Kennel From Hell has gotta be a big contender. It would be awful enough if it was just a cage-in-a-cell match with escape-to-win rules; especially with those two wrestlers, Bossman and Snow were pretty useless at doing anything but backstage plunder brawls at that time. But I have no idea who the hell could've possibly thought it was a wise decision to bring actual LIVE ROTTWEILERS into the cage and then expect anything good to happen. Scaffold matches in general. I've only seen maybe two or three of 'em that were even watchable, and that's either because they had a super-reinforced scaffold or they just smartly jump-started the match on solid ground and only climbed up for the finish. All too often, it turns into a nightmare where the wrestlers are just trying desperately not to fall off this shaky, rickety structure which seems like it's built out of Tinkertoys. And I think literally half the time, whoever takes the fall inevitably winds up getting injured. And then... there's WCW Bash At The motherfucking Beach 1999. The Junkyard Match. This one had it all. Confusing and/or nonexistant angle to explain why it took place? Check. Stupid illogical rules which made figuring out how to win the match overly complicated and dumb? Check. Consisting entirely of (literal) garbage brawling with plunder shots? Check. Stretched out over a fucking endless agonizing eternity of time? Check. Bad camerawork and worse lighting which meant you couldn't see a goddamn thing? Check. Lousy special effects which never worked right? Check. No list of participants so even the announcers didn't know who was in the match, nor even how many guys were out there? Check. Wrestlers just aimlessly brawling instead of actually trying to win? Check. Absolutely nothing of value being given to the winner? Check. Brian Knobbs being a dick and trying to hurt people? Check. At least a couple of dangerous spots where it was legitimately possible that someone could've died on live PPV? Multiple serious injuries to about half the wrestlers? Check. Colossal waste of money on the set, effects, and a helicopter? Check. La Parka wearing street clothes with his mask on top? Check. Well, that last part was actually kinda cool. But believe me when I say that it was the only cool part. XPW once booked a Buck Naked match, where the object was to strip your opponent naked in the middle of the ring.I wonder if Rob Black knew that it's illegal to intentionally feature nudity at a wrestling show in California BEFORE he booked this match. Was he just that ignorant and was actually willing to do the stripping until someone mentioned "hey Rob, this will get you thrown in prison (again)" or was he deliberately lying about it from the start? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotJayTabb Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 "Rob Black: idiot or carny" feels like a debate that could go either way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapplin' apple Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Prince of Darkness match. Does anything even come close to this style of match in pure awfulness? One of my favorite matches of the '80s (and of all time) is Duggan vs. Dibiase in a Coal Miner's Glove Tuxedo Steel Cage Loser Leaves Town match, so I know those matches can be executed well. But, yes, I never understood why that glove is particularly devastating, but I'm also not from a region that produces a lot of coal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grimmas Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Vince Russo stuff. Reverse Battle Royal is just criminally awful and the stupidest match in history, maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodear Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 I read somewhere that a coal miner's glove was made of heavy leather and had reinforced metal in the thing. I think the thing is everyone is so removed from goddamn mining that it just falls flat unless they took the time to show the audience what it actually is. A segment showing us what the glove is and what it is capable of would get the weapon over more. Its one of those things that sounds stupid because it's become translated to work glove for most of us but could theoretically work. Dumbest thing I thought of was the Feast or Fired match from TNA. I literally don't know why anyone would want to participate in this one as you have a 1/4 of a chance to get a case that will get you removed from the company. It's not even the loser of the match that gets fired (which would at least make some semblance of sense from a high risk, high reward standpoint) but you could be the first person to get a case and be fired based completely on grabbing the wrong identical case. Or you could get a show at the X Division Title! Totally worth the risk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grimmas Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Dumbest thing I thought of was the Feast or Fired match from TNA. I literally don't know why anyone would want to participate in this one as you have a 1/4 of a chance to get a case that will get you removed from the company. It's not even the loser of the match that gets fired (which would at least make some semblance of sense from a high risk, high reward standpoint) but you could be the first person to get a case and be fired based completely on grabbing the wrong identical case. Or you could get a show at the X Division Title! Totally worth the risk! Yeah, that one suspends too much disbelief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pantherwagner Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Dumbest thing I thought of was the Feast or Fired match from TNA. I literally don't know why anyone would want to participate in this one as you have a 1/4 of a chance to get a case that will get you removed from the company. It's not even the loser of the match that gets fired (which would at least make some semblance of sense from a high risk, high reward standpoint) but you could be the first person to get a case and be fired based completely on grabbing the wrong identical case. Or you could get a show at the X Division Title! Totally worth the risk! Yeah, that one suspends too much disbelief. I haven't watched any of those matches (life is to short to watch TNA) but wasn't there a time when somebody won a title shot but one of the actual losers of the match got a title shot before the winner did? It could have been in another stip match or tournament but I recall Meltzer saying something like that a few years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkeye12 Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Dumbest thing I thought of was the Feast or Fired match from TNA. I literally don't know why anyone would want to participate in this one as you have a 1/4 of a chance to get a case that will get you removed from the company. It's not even the loser of the match that gets fired (which would at least make some semblance of sense from a high risk, high reward standpoint) but you could be the first person to get a case and be fired based completely on grabbing the wrong identical case. Or you could get a show at the X Division Title! Totally worth the risk! Yeah, that one suspends too much disbelief. I haven't watched any of those matches (life is to short to watch TNA) but wasn't there a time when somebody won a title shot but one of the actual losers of the match got a title shot before the winner did? It could have been in another stip match or tournament but I recall Meltzer saying something like that a few years ago. Probably, it's like the MITB briefcase, you cash it in whenever you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death From Above Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 I'm on board with scaffold matches. I think wresting is pretty lucky to have avoided a very serious incident in one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laz Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Damn. Beaten to the XPW punch. My vote goes to scaffolds as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luchaundead Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Dumb in a different way but I've always thought that in it's terribleness it's somewhat brilliant although, cannot be executed in a way that wouldn't just be business exposing the ever elusive "Falls Count Somewhere" match people say it has happened in PWG or Excalibur talked about it on commentary, some other companies have seen ran it as a joke. Simply put falls count only in a predetermined spot that the competitors and fans are not privy to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapplin' apple Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 I'd agree with Scaffold matches if I hadn't seen the Don Greene vs. Jerry Jarrett Scaffold match from the DVD that comes with Cornette's Louisville book. It's one of the best worked gimmick matches I've seen. Another dumb gimmick I've only seen once: Detroit in the '70s had Chief Jay Strongbow and Don Kent in a shark cage. It's an extremely small cage that allows for no movement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loss Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 FMW's famous anal bomb death match. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoS Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 To talk about something no one has in this thread, I do not get the "Ambulance" match and the stretcher match gimmicks. What is the point of them, apart from making the nhb concept unnecessarily contrived? Where, instead of being brutal with chairs and stuff, you just keep trying to gently wheel someone on a stretcher past the yellow line. Or try to throw them in the ambulance. Disclaimer - I have only watched the stretcher matches in WWE in the last decade and a half. Brock-Show and Edge-Kane are the ones I remember the most. It is entirely possible that other promotions have held brilliant stretcher matches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RCS1988 Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 The war games match concept. The match is excellent don't get me wrong, but the rules are kind of stupid. You can't submit or surrender until all participants are in. So you can literally put someone in a painful submission hold and they could give up all they want, but the match can't end, because not all the participants are in. Surrender is more like a person throwing in the towel, even though the person who says it is not in a submission hold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyonthewall2983 Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 My problem with the War Games match is the coin flip. It pretty much guarantees that the face team wins every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky Jackson Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 I'd agree with Scaffold matches if I hadn't seen the Don Greene vs. Jerry Jarrett Scaffold match from the DVD that comes with Cornette's Louisville book. It's one of the best worked gimmick matches I've seen. Another dumb gimmick I've only seen once: Detroit in the '70s had Chief Jay Strongbow and Don Kent in a shark cage. It's an extremely small cage that allows for no movement. Dumb? Yes. Awesome? Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laz Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 You know, I never thought of how stupid Ambulance/Stretcher matches are in relation to NHB/no SQ/etc. They sometimes make sense, but WWE just really abused it with cheap copout finishes. WarGames should've been built to with a match between random pairings to determine who gets the odd man advantage. I also think pin falls should've been allowed for dramatic purposes, but I completely love the idea of submission-only, too. FMW's famous anal bomb death match.You shut your dirty mouth, that needs to come back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert S Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 How was the TNA cage match called where you have to climb out of a dome-cage which most people had difficulties doing so? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ship Canal Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 King of the Mountain, anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laz Posted February 9, 2016 Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 I actually liked King of the Mountain, I just don't think it should've been annual. And it seems the only well worked was the first one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luchaundead Posted February 10, 2016 Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 How was the TNA cage match called where you have to climb out of a dome-cage which most people had difficulties doing so? It was Xscape Cage Match but, if you're going with terrible TNA cage stips my personal fave is Doomsday Chamber of Blood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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