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Wrestling thoughts that probably don't deserve


Coffey

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You know, it sounds asinine at first, but I kind of agree in the sense that Styles and Daniels have the best matches against each other. Styles and Daniels aren't Steamboat and Flair by a long shot, but the two of them together seem to produce some real good professional wrestling.

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The guy's name alone is pretty much synonymous with wrestling, and he's moved more merchandise than anybody but Austin...but here's the thing. We all know that if they do another documentary, it will be 99% of Hogan's dellusional bullshit.

 

He'll claim that the 900 pound Andre who died shortly after WM3 (which had 100,000 people in attendance) only liked Hogan and agreed to lose to him because he saw Hogan defend himself in a shoot in New Japan that...uh...may have never actually happened. He might say that he didn't work a feud with Jake Roberts not because Jake was as over as Hogan himself was and that people WANTED to see Hogan get the DDT...no...because Hogan and Jake had "no chemistry" together. His whole post WM18 face run wasn't a total and utter rip off of Superstar Billy Graham. No, of couse not. Superstar who?

 

I swear, every time the man's mouth opens nothing but bullshit comes flying out...and unlike with many wrestlers, Hogan's isn't even BELIEVEABLE bullshit. Now that we live in the era where fans are for the most part "smartened" up, sooner or later, if Hogan keeps talking all this nonsense, somebody is going to go back and look at other DVD's and videos, and call him on his shit. I think Hogan still thinks all fans are "marks" and clueless...if I was him and the WWE, I'd either use the documentary they shot for Hulk Still Rules, or the A&E Biography (although both of them are full of crap too.)

 

Then there are his matches. Sooner or later, after watching two or three discs of his "work" even the most dense Hogan mark (except maybe Rudo) will figure out that he sucked most of the time, and EVERY MATCH HE HAD IN THE 80'S WAS THE EXACT SAME.

 

I'm sure a new Hogan DVD will sell. I just think that the more he talks, and the more people go back and watch what he did in the ring...the more it exposes him. He's smart enough to know that people don't want to see him on TV every week. Hogan's stuff just doesn't stand up to the test of time very well...so I'm curious as to the market for this stuff.

 

Look at his "book." I don't know if it ever went to #1. Wouldn't you think that a book by the most popular wrestler of all time would sell better than one by Mick Freaking Foley? But it didn't...because just like a lot of his ring work, it was phoned in and insincere...and just like his stories, it was full of shit.

 

In short? Hogan needs to go away already, dammit.

 

Then again...look at the buy rates for the last SummerSlam. Record setting...so what do I know. There must still be plenty of rubes out there wanting to get soaked...brother.

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I'm not a big Hogan fan by any means, but I gotta say the pop he got for hulking up at Wrestlemania 18 was one of the largest I've ever heard. You can say it's just nostalgia but he apparently can still get a buyrate, as his SummerSlam match proved.

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No doubt, in teeny tiny small doses, the man is still bearable...and within very specific confines, he can even work an entertaining match. I actually liked his match with The Rock. Although the match was not to my taste, I thought Hogan worked a smart match against Michaels. I thought it was well laid out and executed.

 

One of my guilty pleasures as a wrestling fan is...Abdullah The Butcher. Yes, really. When I was a kid he scared the hell out of me, and as I grew up I always liked seeing his all around the arena brawls with the likes of Terry Funk and Bruiser Brody. On 5/26/82 in New Japan Hogan fought Abby, and I actually really enjoy this match. The crowd was crazy hot, Hogan is one of the few guys who is bigger than Abby so doesn't look scared of him, and it was a fun popcorn brawl all over the place. I like it.

 

So it's not that I think Hogan is totally useless, it's his constant BS that drives me nuts. If he would just tell the damn truth once in a while when he gave an interview, it would be so refreshing...but he really is the ultimate wrestling politician.

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I think Hogan has been in the bubble of wrestling for so long it's almost a reflex for him to work everything in his life. He's like a real life Tommy Flanagan from 80s SNL.

 

"I was afraid Andre wouldn't do the job at WM 3 and shoot on me....yeah, that's the ticket"

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I haven't seen his reality show, (we don't get VH1 here in Canada and even if we did I doubt I'd watch it) but I have heard that Hogan actually comes off as kind of sad in the show, like he is working the cameras constantly and is desperate for attention. Although that's just what I've heard, as I said I've not seen the show, so I don't know...but it sounds like him.

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I think fans know they're getting conned by Hogan, but they want to believe in him so badly that they don't care. They'll never call him on his lying, because he's not under oath; the Hogan the public wants lies and exaggerates and stretches the truth. It's what's expected.

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The only episodes I saw involved Hogan acting like Tough Dad toward some guy Brooke was going out with (what made it funny is the guy wasn't selling it and was cracking up when Hulk was trying to be tough for the camera) and one where his wife found a condom in Nick's room and proceeded to freak the fuck out in such an overdramatic way it was less believable than a SPORTZ ENTERTAINMENT segment of RAW.

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Guest Some Guy

Look at his "book."  I don't know if it ever went to #1.  Wouldn't you think that a book by the most popular wrestler of all time would sell better than one by Mick Freaking Foley?  But it didn't...because just like a lot of his ring work, it was phoned in and insincere...and just like his stories, it was full of shit.

 

In fairness to Hogan, Foley's book was pushed very hard, became part of an angle, and the release pretty much coincided with his retirement and the absolute high point of the WWF's popularity, as well as being the first of it's kind. Where as Hogan's book was not pushed that hard and was released during a down time for WWE and on the same day as Jerry Lawler's shitty book.

 

But your point still stands about Hogan's book sucking shit.

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I'm such a mark, every time a Russian wins a gold medal and they play their national anthem, all I can hear is Nikolai singing. I half expect after the song to hear the Sheik over the PA "RUSHA NUMBAH ONE! EE-RAN NUMBAH ONE! USA, *PTUI*!"

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Watching Smackdown last night made me realize how great of an actor by wrestling's standards Rey Jr. has become. During his segment with Teddy Long, when Long says, "I can't take away from the WrestleMania main event, but I *can* add to it!" Rey's eyes light up like a kid on Christmas Day getting the present he wanted. Great little babyface moment. For a guy with a mask on, Rey Jr. has some of the best facials in wrestling today.

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I was watching GLOW Vol. 1 today...so, so terrible. Cringeworthy even by cheesball 80s standards. I can't believe Ivory stuck with this, but she probably got the highest pay since she seems to be the only woman who actually knew how to wrestle.

 

I also got an added bonus, I was watching January 87 WWF TV to see the debut of Demolition and one of the random jobber matches was Kamala squashing a young man from Boston named Mick Foley, who the announcer called "Faley". The look on Mick's face when the announcer botches his name is priceless, and a glimpse of things to come.

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Guest The Hawk of Miami

I was at my local used cd/dvd store and I saw that they had all five volumes of WRESTLING GOLD for only $16.49. It looks interesting, and it was still in good condition. Is it worth a pick-up?

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