Ridiculous quotes from WO.com columnists

[sek69]

From Tim Graefe's review of the ROH PPV:

 

 

I've just finished watching ROH's first ever PPV called „Respect Is Earned“, which was taped on May 12 at the world famous Manhattan Center in New York City. I have seen every single ROH DVD available but I will try to judge the PPV as if I would be a total newcomer to the product.

Homiesaywhat?

 

I think I heard something snap in my head when I read that. How can you watch everything a company has ever done but pretend to be a total newcomer for the PPV show?

 

Of course the review is capped off with this:

 

I'm not sure what to think about the show. Was it better then TNA? Of course! It was well booked, no stupid run-ins, no useless shannigans. Was it the best ROH show ever? No, there were many shows better than this one. Don't get me wrong, I liked the show, but I think that they could've done better with other match-ups.

I think my nose is bleeding.

[Guest FlairPinnedMe]

There is no way Dave reads any of those reviews or the columns. 90% of them are so horrible.

[kjh]

Was this really the time for Joe Babinsack to do a boring blow by blow review of those drug addled cripples Misawa and Kobashi dropping each other on their heads four years ago? Some people really have their blinkers on that drugs aren't a major problem in Japan too.

 

Another case in point from an anonymous American wrestler:

 

I do think in 10 years or so we will see more wrestlers from Mexico dying at a younger age, like we see in the US. I doubt we will in Japan, it's not culturally acceptable to be a drug addict! Hell look at that guy Arashi who has trouble getting work due to his drug issues.

The only thing Arashi did wrong was get caught. How can a wrestler believe, of all people, that broken down aging veterans like Keiji Mutoh (the person who fired Arashi) don't need to take large quantities of painkillers just to function, let alone still wrestle over 100 times a year?

[Bix]

Don't a lot of the Japanese wrestlers turn to alcohol because it's more culturally accepted?

[Guest Spunk]

Wait.. The ROH PPV happened? How have I seen next to no mention at all of this airing? Awesome.

[Guest FlairPinnedMe]

It's only been on the dish network so far, I assume there'll be more talk when it's on in demand and such on the 20th.

[pantherwagner]

Don't a lot of the Japanese wrestlers turn to alcohol because it's more culturally accepted?

A lot of Japanese (not specifically talking about wrestlers) use speed. But, yeah, alcohol is more acceptable than crack.

 

As far as painkillers goes, everybody in Japan and Mexico uses them.

 

I have never seen it, but there's this commercial video of Akira Hokuto in North Korea getting a shot in the knee before her match. I was trying to google for an specific caption to see if I was dreaming it and instead found Tomoko Watanabe's knee. I guess this is from her blog or something.

 

[Tim Evans]

I think it would be easier to name a wrestler that's not on Painkillers than a wrestler that is.

 

As for Ridiculous quotes, Should I just post the whole series of "Todd Martin reviews Raw"? He's by far the worst.

[Bix]

The new ECW recapper's MySpace lists Cary Silkin as one of his heroes.

 

For fuck's sake.

[ohtani's jacket]

Drug laws in Japan are severe, though as Jose says, speed is fashionable & other drugs are easy to get (though you have to get them from scary dudes). Most Japanese people don't use drugs, however. They're simply afraid of them & if you get caught, as foreigners sometimes do, you're fucked. Drinking is a huge part of Japanese culture, however.

 

As for painkillers, there's a 1993 commercial tape where the whole ending is Hokuto getting an injection from a doctor. (This is in Japan.) Taking painkillers and abusing painkillers is a totally different subject mind you. Most Japanese wrestlers seem to come off the roids and get fat.

 

Their training and prep seems to be better, too. Kazuo Yamazaki has a book about how to stretch.

[Jingus]

As for Ridiculous quotes, Should I just post the whole series of "Todd Martin reviews Raw"? He's by far the worst.

Nah, at least he's not a Standardized SKeith Clone like most recappers these days. Besides, Dan Wahler's "thinkpieces" have gotta be the most ridiculous thing on the WO site since Dave claimed that MMA = rasslin.

 

The new ECW recapper's MySpace lists Cary Silkin as one of his heroes.

I don't pay all that much attention to ROH, so correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Silkin just the fuckin' money mark?

[MikeCampbell]

I don't pay all that much attention to ROH, so correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Silkin just the fuckin' money mark?

Yes sir

[Cox]

You know, just seeing headlines like Dan Wahlers looks at the steroid issue in pro wrestling, which is one of today's headlines on WO.com, is often enough to send a shivver up my spine. Thank God we have Dan Wahlers to RIP THE LID OFF about steroids and pro wrestling.

[Loss]

Sadly, Dan Wahlers is a step above many television reporters as far as people who understand the situation go. I say that not having read the column he wrote.

[Bix]

Is there anything remotely original to say about steroids at this point other then "Hey look, Alvarez said that even though it's not in the public version of it, the WWE Wellness policy explicitly allows Testosterone Replacement Therapy, Jesus H. Christ..."?

[Tim Evans]

Is Wahler anyone important in the industry or is he just one of Meltzer's butt buddies? I mean at least Bryan use to wrestle.

[Bix]

Just a dude who sent columns to Meltzer and got an HOF ballot(!) out of it.

[sek69]

Just a dude who sent columns to Meltzer and got an HOF ballot(!) out of it.

 

That's the kind of stuff that makes people not take the WON HOF seriously. For everyone who has a logical reason to be voting there seems to be 2-3 chuckleheads who get a vote because they pick up Dave's dry cleaning or some other inane bullshit.

[kjh]

Pete Doyle talks about WWE booking

 

Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and The Rock. Three guys who seemed to get screwed and were always chasing title.

 

Hogan was always getting screwed by his partners or would run into a situation where he was out numbered. It sucked, I wanted to see him prevail and get that title back. And when he did and then got screwed again, then I was really pissed and I’d want to see him get the title back again.

I also like how he mocks John Cena's wrestling ability and promos, but then advocates Bobby Lashley to take the title from him!

[Marty]

Just a dude who sent columns to Meltzer and got an HOF ballot(!) out of it.

Same with the RAW columnist I believe.

[CodySave]

Dan Wahlers fine work today:

 

The company has been able to withstand all

of the injuries to this point, though the injury to

Edge resulted in the abomination that is Great Khali

winning the World Heavyweight Title on last week’s

Smackdown. My stomach gets queasy just thinking about

it. I have no idea why they did it. I realize the

Smackdown roster is thin, which is of their own doing,

after they stripped it bare in the draft so HHH could

have a fresh roster of heels to bury err….feud with.

God damnit, Triple H hasn't done anything you could remotely claim as "a burial" in what, three years? Funny thing is, so many net fans think Triple H is awful, but from talking to a number of indy wrestlers, his wrestling is pretty well respected, at least among the wrestlers that know what they're doing in the ring and not simply throwing at their "Fighting Spirit" puro moves at meaningless times.

 

I mean, seriously, was John Cena buried when he submitted Triple H at Wrestlemania? How about Benoit tapping him at Wrestlemania 20? Hell, he lost cleanly to Shelton Benjamin on RAW. Granted, I still think he should have put Booker T over at Mania.

 

By Triple H "burial standards," John Cena is a worst offender than Triple H ever has been. Not that I think Cena's buried anyone.

[maxpower]

The way your quote looked I thought it was going to be a shitty poem. Instead it was a shitty net talking point. HHH hasn't even been in the position to bury talent since he put over Batista 2 and a half years ago. The only people he's "buried" (if you really want to stretch it) would be Eugene, The Spirit Squad, and the McMahons. All are waaay below him on the card or part-timers. All should be handily destroyed by a main eventer. Cena beat Cade and Murdoch by himself on Monday night and Wahlers doesn't seem to bat an eyelash about that.

 

And when he does come back he will beat King Booker. He should! It's his comeback feud as a face after a long layoff. They always win their comeback feuds. And if he gets the title soon I'm cool with that as well since it's been a long time since he's even been in the main event.

[Loss]

The only thing he's really done since 2005 or so that I think has been worth complaining about was telling John Cena he couldn't wrestle. But admittedly, that promo ended up launching his face turn, which was the first time HHH had a successful face turn after a few aborted attempts in previous years. Credit Cena's insane heat for that, but it also didn't hurt Cena, really, although the heel not taking the babyface seriously (something we've seen many times with HHH) isn't really the type of build for a show like Wrestlemania that you would think would work.

 

I doubt we'll see HHH as a heel again to be honest, but if we ever do, it would be nice if he changed his promo approach from "You're a horrible joke who has accomplished nothing and everyone knows it" to "You may be great, but no one is better than me". The line about Cena not being able to wrestle wasn't really the problem in that feud, as much as it was that it really needed a promo later with him admitting he was wrong.

 

As far as the draft, HHH wanted more heels on RAW because he wanted more available programs. There's nothing evil or deceptive about that.

[tomk]

Wahlers is dumb as box of rocks, and there is a bunch of embarrasing stuff in that column. I'm not sure how he defines burial but pointing out that not much difference between feuding with HHH and being burried by him seems pretty accurate. I doubt he actually understands what that means, but it's not something to criticize.

 

How about Benoit tapping him at Wrestlemania 20? Hell, he lost cleanly to Shelton Benjamin on RAW.

Does anyone actually believe that HHH put either of those guys over in those programs?

NAsh lost ot Mysterio too.

 

One of the things that's neat about Cena is despite him winning his programs, his opponents leave them more over then they were when they entered the program.

 

Wins don't equal burial of opponent.

Losses don't equal putting opponent over.

 

It's the work and the booking around wins and losses.

 

God damnit, Triple H hasn't done anything you could remotely claim as "a burial" in what, three years?

Bullet Points:

 

1)The idea that HHH stopped building the show around himself after the Mania loss to Cena is ridiculous.

 

2)Reason Edge/Orton weren't credible heels to face Cena at last Mania=DX.

 

As far as the draft, HHH wanted more heels on RAW because he wanted more available programs.

HHH needs heel fodder but didn't think top babyface star should have credible heel fodder.

 

3)When Edge was walking around stoked that he was going to be going to Smackdown, supposedly HHH was one ogf guys behind having him job to Michaels on way out.

 

Not wanting top Smackdown heel to be credible top heel=the credibility of faces who will be loosing to top Smackdown heel will also be hurt.

 

4) WON has been pretty explixit that RAW is show built around HHH, regardless of how much money Cena makes...and that Booker has mixed emotions over moving to RAW because everyone knows the score.

[jdw]

As for Ridiculous quotes, Should I just post the whole series of "Todd Martin reviews Raw"?

NOOOOOOO!!!!