El-P

Don't worry, he's losing again.

Nobody is allowed to tap out. I stayed awake for the Rumble and Mania. YOU ARE GONNA WATCH THIS TAKER INTRO FOR THE NEXT 15 MINUTES WITH US.

You're totally burned out !

Yeah, what this show needs is more long video to introduce characters like The Undertaker. Because we have time to fill. Wonder why...

This really is a 1993 house show.

I CALLED IT DAMNIT ! But yeah. It was obvious. He was positioned exactly at the right time at Mania too. Damn, Nak's career in WWE was awesome for the very first match against Zayn two years ago. Since then, he's just not been that great worker he was supposed to be. I do enjoy the Virgil pants myself.

Totally forgot about football (I'm not a football guy *at all*), silly me. They turned into your annoying smark not-giving-a-fuck crowd in a matter of a few hours. They are catching up quicker than I thought. Next : women's title match.

Really ? Why would you hate on Giant Gonzalez? I dunno why, but the idea of brazilian pro-wrestling sounds quite appealing. But what the hell, Brazil invented MMA, the fuck they need pro-wrestling... Well, I'm watching this shit on prime time, I'm awake and aware, I'm getting my ass over. I enjoy Nak's heel theme quite a bit. Ok, I'll watch this match.

He was probably watching the show on his App. You're welcome to do so.

Honestly, I'm fucking AMAZED they are ACTUALLY doing the fucking Iranian heel promo. I called it earlier today, but I was half-joking. Xenophobia in pro-wrestling never gets old.

IRAN NUMBER ONE ! SAUDI ARABIA *spit*¨ It's like 1983 again. With a little twist.

Ah ah ah ! Any women trainee ?

I've heard that. Are they assholes to each other too, or just tourists? Assholes in the broader sense of the term. Well, of course like everywhere there are friendly people too. Staying away from the large brasserie (which are tourists nest) is a good idea to find the friendlier kind. That would be the nationalists under Marine Le Pen (which is kind of the Stephy of fascists, you know). Ok, I'm depressed now. I must admit I'm not paying much attention to this card anymore. Bring Roman vs Lesnar already.

So come visit ! Yeah, it's a beautiful country, tons of beautiful stuff to see (and eat, and drink ). Parisians are assholes though. I should know, I was one for 15 years. Yes, pretty much. How did fucking Emmanuel Macron ended up hitchjacking this thread already !!

You know, it may seem like an anecdote in the grand scheme of things, but really, to me it's the most visible, offensive stuff of the night thus far. He showed up with the LGBT community and rainbow trunks at Mania and here we are in a country where LGBT have *no right* and the same guy is showing up with plain black trunks. Everything you need to know about this show is in this picture right there.

Are you from France? Educate us on what's so bad about him. Everyone in the U.S. seems to think he's charming, at least compared to...well, a certain WWE Hall of Famer. Come on, I thought it was a pretty well known fact by now ! He's giving more money to the super rich, he's fucking up the poorest and most fragiles, he's making laws against migrants (for which he got the approval of Trump btw), his foreign policy is hostile, he makes rules left and right that is fucking with individual freedom. And he believes he's Jupiter or something. He's awful and dangerous, honestly.

Is it me or the crowd doesn't give a flying fuck about anything at this point ?

Macron is Eric Bischoff level of hate-able. Honestly, I would hope doing this show is gonna bite them in the ass eventually. Probably not, but you'd hope.

Why is Rene not on the panel ? .................. Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Got lost for a moment here.

He is *actively* freaking me out. He's also fucking up the remains of the country's social landscape. But anyway, let's go back to what matters here : SAUDI ARABIA IS PART OF THE WWE UNIVERSE !!!! WOMEN EVOLU.... wait. Wrong video.

And French, most probably. France is the third biggest seller of weapons in the world (but we're the country of Human Rights, you know....). Yeah. Absolutely surrealistic shit. And I mean, thus far no one would watch this for the actual wrestling either.

What did you expect ? This whole show is about propaganda. Welcome to Saudi Arabia !!!!! (gay stay afar, you're getting whipped here)

I died !

I'll mark out if Balor comes out in the rainbow getup. I'm not a fan, but that would make one. No chance in hell. Jeff Hardy vs That Indian Guy. Awful on paper already.

DELETE DELETE DELETE... women and gay rights. OK I know, I know... I can't wait to watch Balor's new entrance...