Matt D

I feel terrible, absolutely terrible, but I literally need to go piss now. I'm sorry.

The first minute or two of that felt like one of those quasi shoot (But with Hashimoto) early 00 NJPW things that Elliott tries to make me watch.

I'm not saying that match was entirely my thing but I will say that without a doubt the move of the night at Wrestlemania 33 was a fucking leapfrog. That is amazing.

The leapfrog heard around the video game wrestling world!

I'm worried about Heyman's heart making it down the ramp. I don't think Sydney Greenstreet could have made the walk.

Women could still be a piss break match? Otherwise, with all the time they wasted it's a crime.

I want to see Charlotte as Sister Abagail so that she can do the figure 8 bridge while Bray does the spider walk.

I don't understand who thought this match was a good idea. There were so many different ways this could have gone.

Is anyone else just waiting for the next maggots moment?

I like picturing Rowan in the truck with a headset.

If they superimpose Warrior's body on the mat like that, Hunter can get his Wrestlemania win back.

I want them to do "The floor is lava!" next.

This match hasn't started yet. I went and checked. Dataintcash hasn't posted anything in a few days.

And that cracked me up. And woke me up too. Now I have to watch the match. Fuuuuck. I don't know. With the length of this ramp, I'm not sure you're making it through this entrance.

This recap package is making me miss Pitbull.

I totally thought that black and white viper head was a turtle head instead for a second. You can't pin the turtle because he's got ding dong shoulders!

Why is this still happening?

Remember when Matt and Jeff came out? Good times.

I'd be really happy if Brodus Clay came out and took him out. Or the Drifter. I'd take the Drifter.

That Pedigree counter segment with selective leg selling was the absolute worst. But seriously, how did Steph not dodge Hunter's slow crawl post superkick head stumble? Moolah could have dodged that and she's dead.

That Steph bump was Three Stooges-esque.

This has basically become Shane vs Taker all over again.

Things that I have no use for that I would welcome at this point: Ronda Rousey

I would have liked that Triple H "kick the leg out" cut off spot more if we hadn't already seen it twice (Owens on Jericho on the apron to set up the finish and Charlotte on Bayley to cut her off and set up the knee into corner/figure four). If I was Hunter, I'd be sort of pissed.

I give him some credit for selling after every stupid thing he hits. I'd give him more credit if he was adapting his offense to the situation instead.