Wrestle Mania 32... Live As It Happens

[Parties]

Significant story coming out of this show that isn't getting enough play (as it happened early on): the successful burial of AJ Styles in under three months.

[Jimmy Redman]

I can't watch the pre-show again, but I want to remind everyone about that Divas tag. Eva Marie's glorious moment. Emma working for about 17 people. Naomi taking hard bumps and giving them back. And Brie's Bryan tributes spots suddenly working and her SWEET AS FUCK transition into the Yes Lock.

I think the two women's matches were the only ones that managed to exceed expectations.

Also I think it's kind of selfish of Cena not to share his mystical healing powers with his girlfriend. Broken neck? She should be back by now! Never Give Up!

[goc]

Significant story coming out of this show that isn't getting enough play (as it happened early on): the successful burial of AJ Styles in under three months.

When I saw the betting odds were heavily favoring Jericho I figured there was gonna be some big Balor Club debut screwing over AJ. But no, they just beat him totally clean after having Jericho kick out/reverse all his finishers. So yea, they really did fuck up with AJ and I have no idea why since they've been giving him a shit load of TV time.

[Jimmy Redman]

I love the rationale behind the IC Title win.

Vince: We need a babyface title win to kick off Wrestlemania dammit!

Creative: OK so Sami Zayn gets his revenge on Owens by taking his title at Mania?

Vince: Who the fuck is Sami Zayn?!

Creative: Well OK...what about Sin Cara? Lucha Dragons as double champs?

Vince: That fucker won't survive the damn match without breaking something!

Creative: ...Dolph Ziggler?

Vince: ...

Creative: ...well we did put Zack Ryder in there...

Vince: WOO WOO WOO DAMMIT!

[goc]

I love the rationale behind the IC Title win.

 

Vince: We need a babyface title win to kick off Wrestlemania dammit!

 

Creative: OK so Sami Zayn gets his revenge on Owens by taking his title at Mania?

 

Vince: Who the fuck is Sami Zayn?!

 

Creative: Well OK...what about Sin Cara? Lucha Dragons as double champs?

 

Vince: That fucker won't survive the damn match without breaking something!

 

Creative: ...Dolph Ziggler?

 

Vince: ...

 

Creative: ...well we did put Zack Ryder in there...

 

Vince: WOO WOO WOO DAMMIT!

Naw that was all about someone (or multiple people) inside WWE making some extra money on the side with those stupid betting sites. Zack suddenly became the odds favorite about 2 days ago.

[joeg]

They've fucked up with every guy they've brought in who was a big deal somewhere else. This goes back some 25 years. Its like they do it on purpose. Flair would be the lone guy I can remember who was a main event guy for a "competitor" (as if WWF/E has ever had any competition) who wasn't jobbed out. It began in the big expansion in the 80s, they brought in so many top territory guys just to job them out. Then they did the same thing with WCW and ECW. Then after they bought WCW and aquired the rights to ECW, the ones they brought in were brought in just to be jobbed out. There's a shoot where Kevin Nash talks about it. Where he's like they could just be like fuck that guy we don't need him, but instead they are like no, lets bring him in so first we can fuck him before we fuck him.

[JerryvonKramer]

Flair was booked uber-duber weak though if you watch his run in any detail.

[Jimmy Redman]

Sami's tope through the top part of the ladder was awesome.

I loved Sin Cara's springboard dive from being pushed off the ladder, which was totally undersold in the first of many announcing fuck ups. Cara does this insane dive and they're all like "Earlier tonight, Kalisto retained the US Title..." instead of going nuts. Couldn't deviate from the script for one fucking second.

I didn't realise that Dolph had become such a main text Shawn tribute until this match where he actually tuned up the band. What the fuck is going on there?

The Polka Dot Dusty Ladder ruled. Owens tossing it because he's an asshole ruled too. And Cody fucking ATE it when Miz SCF'd him into it.

Owens' draping frogsplash was another mad spot.

"The El-Bro Drop" ...Jesus fuck.

"Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder - these two men are the best of friends..." WTF? Since fucking when? It's like they're just pressing random buttons on the Cole-A-Tron at this point.

Owens powerbombing the fuck out of everyone is great.

Sin Cara's Jeff Hardy bump on Cody was super fucking nuts, and I also loved how he got there, with Sami grabbing at him until he had to turn around to deal with him, and then Owens tips him from behind and he thinks "Fuck it, I'm already going down, better salvage this!"

As I said live the finish was perfectly laid out. Owens/Sami is the money, so they build to their big punch-off finish and THAT FUCKING EXPLODER CHRIST IN HEAVEN, and then BAM, happy ending is ruined by The Motherfucking Miz, BUT then Zack Ryder stops The Motherfucking Miz, and before you have time to realise that Zack Ryder isn't Sami Zayn, he's already won! Yay!

One of the only well laid out spots of the entire show.

Also popped for the Zack's Dad Sighting. That was a really fun clusterfuck.

[Jimmy Redman]

Knowing how it ends I now have no desire to sit through the shitshow that was AJ/Jericho again.

 

I mean seriously, it bothered me at Fastlane and again bothers me here. Is Jericho that much of an egotist, or is he just really dumb? Or both? Because twice how he's shown that he has zero fucking clue how to work to the role that he's playing and make AJ look good. He cuts AJ off in the ring at every turn, between being so slow and old that AJ has to stand around waiting for him and look foolish, to countering all of AJ's moves in cool ways before he has a chance to demonstrate them, to botching the fuck out of the moves he actually does take (that fucking springboard DDT), to kicking out of his finisher in every match. Let alone pinning him clean in the end. Like what the utter fuck.

And I mean Jericho usually knows exactly how to work to his role, and how to serve the match even though he's a guy who loves to have a "great match" and come up with cool counters for everything. But he's fucking woeful as "ageing vet surpassed by younger guy". He's working as the exact opposite. I remember the Bourne match in 2010 being really good, so I wonder if I go back and watch that whether Jericho could work it properly there.


JBL calling AJ a "flash in the pan" and all this throughout just makes it worse when he fucking jobs in the end. This was atrocious.

[joeg]

Jericho did his role perfectly... I argued back 2 months ago that you don't put a new guy in there with Jericho to make sure they get over, you put them in there with Jericho to make sure they don't get over.

[Jimmy Redman]

Shitty Announcing Fuck Up #2 was all three of them not having a fucking clue that AJ gave Jericho a front suplex off the top rope, even after a clear replay.

[Jimmy Redman]

I should really watch Total Divas. It looks like the clear second-best WWE TV show.

[Jimmy Redman]

Interviewing Zack backstage seemed like a set up for Owens or whoever to jump him or some ageing Legend to humiliate him, but as it turns out it was just to give him a special moment.

It really feels like a "Sorry we buried you for getting yourself over, here, have a random title win years later for no reason" thing.

[Jimmy Redman]

Rusev running the entire way around the ring to superkick Big E was great. Rusev was one of the best guys on this show.

[ChuckScumm]

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal (Heath Slater/Curtis Axel/Adam Rose/Bo Dallas/The Big Show/Kane/Mark Henry/DDP/Tatanka/Tyler Breeze/Jack Swagger/Fandango/Damien Sandow/Darren Young/Konnor/Viktor/Darren Young/Goldust/R-Truth/Shaquille ONeal)

 

Remember two hours ago when I said this show was exceeding low expectations?

You forgot Rhyno.

[ChuckScumm]

Nevermind, turns out it was Bo Dallas.

[goodhelmet]

Nevermind, turns out it was Bo Dallas.

i was thinking the exact same thing live at the stadium.

[Jimmy Redman]

So I tuned out because The West Wing was on but imma sure as shit watch this women's match again.

 

For all of the bullshit and hilarity and weirdness and utter absurdity of this show, how long before we all sober up and talk about the fact that the women had the best match at Wrestlemania? I mean, I think they had the best match at WM22, but that show was full of really good matches and I can understand it's close. Here, there was nothing remotely as good as the women's match, save for a fun ladder clusterfuck. I mean, the women's match was far and away the best match on a Wrestlemania. Let that sink in, and ponder how far the women have truly come in such a short space of time. This is actually working.

 

So much to love. It easily had the best production from start to finish, beginning with that awesome video package. Becky in a Wrestlemania Outfit. And then The Sheila Singing Sasha's Theme and SNOOP DOGGY DOGG~! Sasha looked like such a fucking superstar coming out here, it was ridiculous. Just absurd. And Eddie Guerrero Tribute Tights~! And then Sasha crying outside JerryWorld because she had made it~! And then Ric Flair's Retirement Match Tribute Robe~! And then championship intros! Crowd is pumped! "WO-MENS WREST-LING!" chant! This was some big match fucking build.

 

The "million rollups" opening gambit works for me with Divas matches more than others, simply because Divas matches are typically super short, and often end in rollups, and girls often get rolled up even after taking little damage. So there's a thread of logic there beyond just "this is how we start a workrate match".

EDDIE GUERRERO TRIBUTE ROPE WALK HURICANRANA~!

I even liked the sunset flip botch - Sasha overshot, so Becky, having dodged a bullet, decided to hit the German she was planning in the first place, but in doing so inadvertently threw herself right into Sasha's arms for the pin.

 

Sasha took some INSANELY NUTTY bumps in this. Just killed herself bumping to the floor and took Germans and spears and shit right on her neck like a fucking champ. She seemed to spend large periods outside, but whenever she was in she was working out of her skin.

 

EDDIE GUERRERO TRIBUTE FROGSPLASH~!

SASHA CRAZY ASS MID-AIR SWITCH UP SOMERSAULT TOPE~!

 

BECKY KILLS FLAIR~!

CHARLOTTE'S SWEET MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR~! That was like the exact moment that the crowd went from "Yeah we support women's wrestling, have at it ladies, you are equal to men!" to "HOLY SHIT! THIS IS AWESOME! FIGHT FOREVER!" And it crossed a line from a certain amount of goodwill to just genuine marking out for an awesome match.

 

I love that all three of these girls have submission finishers that are over and people recognise and pop for. Sasha punching the leg to facilitate the figure four rollover ruled, as did Becky pulling her out to make the save. Just after that happened Charlotte covers her mouth and I legit can't tell whether she's selling or can't contain her emotion at the moment they're having.

 

KNEELING THREE WAY STRIKES!

 

Like I said Sasha fucking DIED on this spear, that's the best spear Charlotte has ever thrown, or will ever throw. Sasha is #1 and the best. She also was throwing really hard punches in this.

TOP ROPE EXPLODER SUPLEX!

 

I motherfucking HATED this finish BUT in the best possible way. It was the only finish of the show where I felt angry at the dastardly heels for being assholes, instead of the company for putting on a shitshow. I sooooooooooo wanted Sasha to win and Flair holding her back was fucking infuriating, I was reaching out and grabbing that asshole from here. And this is a replay. I fucking hated this finish. It was great.

 

Just keep going with this guys. All the way. The crowd was hot for Charlotte and Sasha one on one, that's where the money is. Fuck Takeovers, give them a PPV main event. Charlotte vs Sasha, 20 minutes in the main event at whatever the next PPV is, Sasha wins the belt. Honestly, I would. They just had the MOTN at Wrestle fucking Mania, and your actual main eventer just got indifferenced out of the building. You really have nothing to lose. Viva La Revolucion.

[The Chief]

I guess I'm rooting for Tyler Breeze to win now?

 

Are you the same jaedmc who did those devil may care blogs? I miss reading your stuff man, youre gonna fit in just fine here. Post that Warlord vs. Texas Tornado PTW review here. That was a masterpiece.

[mprice]

Well 4 hours later and I finally got to read these posts, and I really needed that. I am at work and am trying to hold in my laughter for fear of waking people up (I work in a hospital). I hope to see this show sometime just to say that I braved the elements like you all. I needed this laughter though. Bravo everyone.

[Downend2005]

I just haven't got the energy or the inclination to complain any more. Raw is going to be an absolute trainwreck.

 

I saw this on another forum and it sums it up.

 

WWE.

 

Then.

 

Then.

 

Forever.

[Jimmy Redman]

I can't decide if Cole's "FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND!!" call was shitarseingly terrible or fantastic.

Lita is like the best bad public speaker ever. Like she has a horrible voice and always sounds nervous and flubs lines all the time, but despite all of that she's sort of a perfectly fine promo. It's weird.

I'm still mad that Mark Henry didn't win the battle royal. Fuck that.

 

One thing I've noticed just now with the battle royalers coming out, is that in every single match/segment of the main show, I have at least one person on my GWE ballot. Not sure what that says about me given the nature of this show, but I found it interesting to note nonetheless.

 

Sandow took one of the most brutal bumps of the show for his elimination. And that includes a ladder match and Shane leaping to his death.

I've muted the rest of the show because yep. Might watch Cena's entrance again. I'm so happy I called for him and he answered the Bat Signal within minutes.

Also, honest to God I think the high point of my night was during the main event, I think, I was in hysterics and all of a sudden someone made that post saying "What happened to Johnny's roommate vacuuming?" and I fucking LOST. MY. SHIT. Kudos to whoever you are.

[Jimmy Redman]

OK I lied I'm totally watching Hunter's entrance again.

WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE WEIRD ASS BALD MUTILATED ZOMBIES? WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY HAVE TO DO WITH HUNTER?

 

I lost it when the Hunter skull mask appeared and you expect Hunter to be behind it and then BAM, STEPHANIE THE WITCH QUEEN OF THE NAZI ZOMBIES!

I can't really hear what she's saying, but she's saying it so fantastically. Steph has one of the great heel voices.

And then after all of this extra curricular bullshit, Hunter finally comes out...wearing nothing but his gear. I mean fuck, if there was ever a time for him to wear a bearskin chieftain's cloak or a helmet fashioned from the skulls of his enemies or a suit of armour or some shit, this was it. But nope, just wrestling gear, while he walks past the Nazi Zombie Army with Steph who is dressed as a Mad Max villain.

 

Five stars.

[Judy Bagwell]

Greatest thing ever.

youre to old to be trolling this hard

[C.S.]

Also I think it's kind of selfish of Cena not to share his mystical healing powers with his girlfriend. Broken neck? She should be back by now! Never Give Up!

 

He tried, but see, on Total Divas, Nikki whined to Cena for being a hardass rehab trainer and *gasp* - are you sitting down for this? - not letting her drink wine.