TLC

[goodhelmet]

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Also, Will, I think the gas money saved was a good move.

I spent the gas money. Worth every penny.

[tim]

Read all of your thoughts. If it came off as no energy then there is a severe problem with the WWE sound system because I have been to some loud arenas in my time and that main event match had as much heat and was as loud as any match I have ever been to live except for MAYBE the end of the 2007 Rumble with Taker-HBK.

The crowd was clearly very into the main event.

[Strummer]

any idea where they go with the title now? I assume it will be Punk v Orton at the Rumble with Orton going over. Maybe they save that for Mania and do Punk v Hunter at the Rumble Poor Bryan isn't going to sniff the title picture

[bradhindsight]

Oddly I loved Orton v. Cena...

I also thought it was exceptional. Given the stakes, I thought the layout was fine. Both guys tried to kill each other with the goal to get an opportunity to climb. Orton worked his ass off. The table bump was a good false finish but would have been even more believable if it was 10:32pm (I hate to look at it like that but it's natural).

 

The call back to their Breaking Point match with the handcuffs was fantastic. The fact that Orton used the ropes to send Cena into that somewhat-missed table spot was great. I think Cena slightly missing may have hurt the ending as people didn't really believe that was "IT" until Orton grabbed the belts.

 

I thought the show was super solid. The tag match was great. Bryan/Wyatts was very good. Punk match was a step behind those and the Divas match was perfectly acceptable.

[Mini Bennett]

I do find it funny that Punk supposedly winning so that he's not as pissed off at the booking happened against a group that supposedly has the company's next golden boy. Meanwhile, Bryan jobs clean as a sheet.

Lol that would imply wins and losses actually mean as much as the internet think they do.

[blueminister]

So has Vince had a mini-stroke? Or is this just the first time I've noticed that he's no longer wearing his age well?

[Strummer]

He looks terrible. He's getting into Don Knotts territory

[goodhelmet]

Ok, the security told me I had to turn my IPad completely off and couldn't use it during the show which is the first time that has ever happened to me. When the lights would godown, the iPad light lit up my face and it was apparently really noticeable.

Also these thoughts are from being there live with really good seats so my experience and perception will apparently be completely different from everyone else's.

 

CM Punk vs. The Shield- Live, this Felt like the best handicap match I have ever seen. Maybe that Bill Dundee Memphis one was better but everything was really snug and executed well. Punk outsmarting the Shield was reall done well and it was all excitement after Roman went flying over the announcers booth. The worst spot was Ambrose doing a 180 to position himself for the elbow. Crowd was huge into Punk. The booking with Roman Reigns spearing Rollins in the end was a perfectly acceptable way for punk to pick up the win and overcome the odds. Great match live.

 

AJ Lee vs. Natalya- this was really good and stiff too. They were also laying in nice tight shots. The whip into the guard rail was sick. Natty was really over but don't know if it came across that way on TV. This may be the best women's match I have ever seen live and I have seen about a dozen of them. Normally this would be my smoke break match and I am glad I stuck around.

 

Big E Langston vs. Damian Sandow- Nothing match but the the crowd liked Big E. Up close, Sandow works really, really light. Probably works for the boys but looks bad up close. Also, unless you are standing next to him, there is no way to describe how thick Langston is. Fucking huge.

 

Fatal Four Way Tag Match- Match of the night and a MOTYC. Heyman's team was being heckled early but the work was solid. Also, Ryback wears the Chris Jericho lifts in his boots. The crowd went nuts for Big Show's slaps. Picked up to another level after the first elimination. Even the Real Americans were over huge as faces. This is Texas so go figure. Goldust took over and it was a career performance. The dropkick looked beautiful. One of the best FiP segments I have ever watched. When he tagged Big Show, the pop was deafening in the arena. Big Show was pretty awesome here too. His punches were a highlight especially the one that finished off the Americans from the top. Forget who got nailed coming off the top rope but it was one of the coolest things I have ever seen live. I was concerned the crowd would die in the face vs. face segment but all four guys busted their ass with the false finishes and the final pin.

 

Brodus Clay vs. R Truth- For such a short match, it went on too long. The crowd just wanted to dance with Brodus.

 

Kofi vs. Miz- Piss break. Came back to the entire arena chanting boring and Kofi getting the pin.

 

Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family- This didn't seem as good as the Punk match live but it was still really great. Everything was executed great and I thought we were going to get another face win. This is also the best I have seen Wyatt look since he debuted. His splashing he corner was sickening. It was really exaggerated after Rowan did a splash a few moments later and it sort of sucked. Bray was soaking up the "That was creepy" chant with his hair over his eyes trying to conceal his smile. There was one point in the match after Wyatt asked Daniel to shake his hand where Bryan is on the mat in the ring alone and I shout "Shake his hand Bryan!" He gave me an Eat Shit and Die look that had the whole row marking out. There was absolutley no doubt who he was looking at. The crowd was bummed when he lost but the kiss, the finish and the post match had everyone engaged with Bryan's head in Wyatts lap.

 

John Cena vs. Randy Orton- I guess being there live makes all the difference because I had no interest in the match at all going in and they kept me entertained the entire time. The pop for both guys felt huge but Cenas was insane level... More than Bryan or anyone else by a mile. One of the loudest I have ever heard lie anywhere. I honestly had no idea who was going to win because I don't really pay attention to reddit guy or bad WWE booking. All of the chair shots, table spots and ladder hits were sick live. When Orton got hit with the stairs the first time, he was busted open pretty bad. Looking at him on the floor, he was starting to pour some blood. When he stood up, he had a red dot on his head. They cleaned him up really fast during the replay. The handcuff spot was great live. When Orton threw the keys into the crowd, he actually threw them to a production guy. There were two guys in wheel chairs right next to us. Before the match they were told they were going to be moved because the wrestlers would be going through the aisle. In actuality, they didn't want a couple of guys in wheel chairs getting nailed with the keys. I don't know if this came through on tv but when Cena was handcuffed, before he unscrewed the turnbuckle, I shouted "take off the turnbuckle John!" and he gave me a quiet Thank You. It wasnt subtle because the whole section was marking out so I got two genuine in ring reactions during the show. The final climb really felt like Cena was going to win and even though he didn't fall through and bust the table, my friend and I were calling it the Million Dollar Baby Spot because it looked like a nasty botch that puts you in a wheelchair and not a wrestling is fake botch. During the post match celebration replay, the crew was furiously trying together belts off the hook that Orton took down. I don't know how long the replay took but it fet like they were panicking because the belts were bolted on and not just hooked so they could avoid a TNA moment during the big swing earlier in the match. Once the belts were handed to Orton, it went almost immediately live in the nick of time.

 

The "celebration" went on forever and the McMahons just stood there looking dumb and then they just left. Don't know if it was on TV but Orton kept shouting "Say My Name" after and eventually left. Once the announcers left, shook Lawlers hand, shilled him a 35 disc set and stole his crown. Actually, just shook his hand. JBL left next and he looked much smaller than I expected. As a total live experience. This was the best live show I have ever attended. With the exceptions of the Sandow, Brodus and Miz matches, everything else felt good to great with the MOTYC four way. Huge thumbs up from my vantage point but I guess people are so jaded on the WWE product that the bad booking and tone deaf decisions kill any enthusiasm. Hey at least Dylan enjoyed the main along with me.

[El-P]

I only watched the main event because of time constraint. Gawwwwwwwwwwwwwd. Way overlong self-conscious epic overbooked with cute garbage spots and freaking Randy Orton winning the title. That was painfull to go through.

Another thing, not only Vince looks bad, but man Stephy looks rough as hell too. She was never exactly a hottie, but she's turning into her father. The opening segment with her and Trip refering back to Thesz and Buddy Rogers was WWE revisionnist history at its best. Totally ridiculous. Will these two open every damn PPV with a boring promo now ? Oh, anyway...

[Matt D]

That Will can still mark out to that level for Cena thanking him silently during a match despite being the wrestling version of Peter Lorre from Casablanca is pretty damn adorable.

 

Rick, you need to hide this comp of wound-biting wrestlers for me.

[Mando]

Did a little live write-up of the pre-show...

 

WWE TLC 2013 Kickoff

 

Our co-hosts (or cohorts?) were Mick Foley in Santa hat, Booker (is he permanently banned from Wendy's in the greater Houston area?), and Miz looking like a candy cane with pinstriped shirt. I hear he and Maryse set a date for their wedding. Too bad the "Kliq" is dead -- would have been great for Hall and the boys to send them a wedding gift of a box full of fecal casserole. Good luck finding a wedding dress that'll cover those silver dollar nipples. Ahem, let's get back on topic and watch some 720p res pro wres in the 'ol web browser Netscape '97.

 

Kofi comes out and interrupts the broadcast slapping Miz across his face and making his dandy boy haircut undulate. I'm guessing this leads to a match on the PPV proper for them. I'm sure the guy in Sec 207 Row J Seat 12 is thrilled.

 

1. Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango

 

I wonder if JBL still has any of that shitty MamaJuana Energy left? I could use one to power through this night. Fandango's wrists are limper than Lawler faced with the prospect of sleeping with a woman his own age. 15 sec. into the bout we go to a commercial? On a free webcast which is basically a big infomercial for the PPV anyway? Back with a Fanny chinlock, Back suplex to escape by Dolph leaves Fanda bouncing across the mat like a little league grounder. Dolph flying clothesline looked like Evan Bourne aping. Fando doing a "Falcon Arrow" made Hayabusa roll his wheelchair down a fire escape (which strangely was located a few ft. away from his computer). Top rope legdrop for the win by Dango Unchained not Alabama Jam maybe Alabama Apple Butter.

[NintendoLogic]

So Vince isn't going to be leading the resistance to The Authority?

[KrisZ]

The angle hasn't started yet....Orton becoming the unified champ is the first big step

[Badlittlekitten]

self-conscious epic

 

What does this mean exactly? I mean, you could say that the booking surrounding it and the push for the 'title unification' thing felt forced, but I don't see how the match itself was any more 'self conscious' than any other wrestling match that's ever happened.

 

It was a pretty decent episode of Raw this week, even if all the (re)matches were a meaningless as ever. It was nice to see the Divas get something other than the usual 90 second rush job. Natalya is surprisingly not rubbish when given a bit of time.

 

I enjoyed the stalling and the slight silliness at the beginning of the Shield match. It got a bit boring after that though. It picked up again after the missed spear spot and I loved the tale of the busted eye. I'm never a fan of the Shield losing (EVER!), especially when they're outnumbering some broken down meth head three on one, but the tension between Riegns and my Ambrose is simmering quite nicely.

 

I enjoy Big E, he's fun as hell to watch that guy. But he's missing something. He needs a finisher that looks like it might hurt and he could do with a new haircut and outfit. He needs to go back to his non-crap theme music. He needs a heel rival that the company hasn't taken a massive shit on. He needs time to get over his oddball sense of humour beyond "we played Skip!". He needs jobbers to clobber. He needs five.

 

The tag was too long but it was excellent in parts. Curtis Axel's maniacal cackle after flooring Goldust is the best thing he's ever done. Maybe going full on Snitsky is the way forward for him. It's always fun to see what new trick Goldy will pull from his locker. His two heat segments were class, I particularly enjoyed the Real Americans working him over and cutting him off. I was a bit pissed that the RA's weren't in the final two but Rey/Show won me back around in the end. As solid as he is Cody will be fucked once his brother leaves. (Unless they give him more character stuff and let him talk more. Which they won't.) Where were the Uso's?

 

Wyatt had his best showing tonight. It helped that they protected his aura by keeping him in his chair and building to his tag. I liked all his in ring verbals and spider walking. As that tiresome wise man Foley once said, this Way Bryatt fella has 'it'. Better than the first handicapped.

 

I nearly switched off during the main but once they started brawling on the outside it got really good. All the bells and whistles were fun and I love it when the ring itself is somehow incorporated into a match. Despite everything this match actually did feel like a big deal towards the end. I didn't like the ending though. They've already thrown Orton and the belt under the bus enough as it is. They should have both taken a big spill from off the ladder so Trips could come out and sweep up the belts for himself. The angle can only get worse with all things remaining the same + Vince.

 

It was a pretty good show though.

[Matt D]

How DID we define that? That they're all too obviously pretending to have a professional wrestling match instead of having a professional wrestling match? You can see the strings?

[NintendoLogic]

From what I can tell, it's the wrestling equivalent of Oscar bait.

[Bix]

I like all of the stuff with the handcuffs and other only in WWE drama stuff. They're trying to have a memorable TLC match without dangerous TLC bumps (though Cena's blown bump at the end looked horrific). My only problem was that they did the handcuffs/unscrew the turnbuckle spot with Punk in the main event of the same show just two years ago.

[bradhindsight]

I like all of the stuff with the handcuffs and other only in WWE drama stuff. They're trying to have a memorable TLC match without dangerous TLC bumps (though Cena's blown bump at the end looked horrific). My only problem was that they did the handcuffs/unscrew the turnbuckle spot with Punk in the main event of the same show just two years ago.

This is true, but it being a callback to a previous Orton/Cena match made me totally forget they used it with Punk/Miz/DelRio.

 

Thinking on that really bad bump at the end, since Cena missed (and they panned in on him with his eyes open), would have been awesome if he improvised and started dragging himself to the ladder, only for Orton to (still) casually grab the titles. The ending comes off flat but I'll give the WWE credit, I was rooting for it to continue and was disappointed it was over.

[Zoo Enthusiast]

I won't go as far as to say it was exceptional, but I definitely enjoyed the match. I was actively cheering for Cena in the homestretch and liked the finish.

[Sidebottom]

I like all of the stuff with the handcuffs and other only in WWE drama stuff. They're trying to have a memorable TLC match without dangerous TLC bumps (though Cena's blown bump at the end looked horrific). My only problem was that they did the handcuffs/unscrew the turnbuckle spot with Punk in the main event of the same show just two years ago.

This is true, but it being a callback to a previous Orton/Cena match made me totally forget they used it with Punk/Miz/DelRio.

 

Thinking on that really bad bump at the end, since Cena missed (and they panned in on him with his eyes open), would have been awesome if he improvised and started dragging himself to the ladder, only for Orton to (still) casually grab the titles. The ending comes off flat but I'll give the WWE credit, I was rooting for it to continue and was disappointed it was over.

 

That would have been an excellent visual actually.

[anarchistxx]

The main event was totally unremarkable. Exactly the type of match you'd expect. Not a disappointment as such, just incredibly predictable like most of the product.

[bradhindsight]

Thinking on that really bad bump at the end, since Cena missed (and they panned in on him with his eyes open), would have been awesome if he improvised and started dragging himself to the ladder, only for Orton to (still) casually grab the titles. The ending comes off flat but I'll give the WWE credit, I was rooting for it to continue and was disappointed it was over.

I re-watched this and his eyes weren't open but he wasn't acting like he was KO'd either. He was just kind of writhing with his eyes closed.