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Guys who made better action figures than wrestlers


goc

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This may wind up being the only post in this thread but my beloved "Comments that don't warrant a thread" is dead so we're left to do things like this.

 

I was thinking about how much better the Giant Gonzalez Hasbro action figure was than the actual wrestler and was wondering if anyone else might fit this label. Personally I think the Giant Gonzalez figure was the best of the whole Hasbro line as he was actually made to be a little bit taller than the rest of the figures and his goofy muscles painted on bodysuit in action figure form actually just made him look incredibly jacked up. He was the king of monster heels in my Hasbro WWF world and had quite a few runs with the WWF title.

 

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Weirdly I never had wrestling action figures as a kid, but I used every other kind for wrestling. Mainly Masters of the Universe when I was young and later on Star Trek (mostly Next Generation but also DS9 stuff who I just repackaged in my head into totally different characters). At one point Spider Man got involved (and the funny thing is I always booked him basically as Rey Mysterio Jr before I knew who that was), and some GI Joes.

 

That's some serious ingergalactic championship action. And what I'm saying is the answer is lead heel of the jr. heavyweight division Wesley Crusher.

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I only had 4 of the LJN's, Hogan, Sheik, Volkoff and Hercules. Never liked them as a kid but now my best friend has a full set minus Red Shirt Hogan and Strike Force Tito.

 

Had a ton of the Hasbro figures later though and enjoyed them. Sold them all off a few years back except for Butch, Macho King, Duggan #2 and Razor Ramon, who were only saved because they were missing during my selling off my wrestling collection.

 

The Kirchner figure, while not great, was a lot better than the wrestler. The Rude and Dibiase figures were beyond bad though.

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I hated the Rude Hasbro figure too his pose really made it impossible for him to do anything. And DiBiase's figure was for some odd reason way smaller than all the others and had an irremovable suit which meant he was only suitable to be a manager.

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The Rude was even worse, he was a master of the dropkick I guess and that was it.

 

The Rude Hasbro you could at least do the headlock punch, vertical suplex, ddt and his neckbreaker, sort of. I used to run endless PPV cards with my Hasbro's and none of them at least couldn't work as figures, which was more than the LJN's could say.

 

Dibiase did indeed only have his suit at first. Last figure was trunks. I used to have him consistently attack or be attacked during the introduction to explain this away. Same reason Mountie had his full suit and UT and Papa Shango never lost their hats.

Harley Race was another terrible figure as his hands were molded into his waist and the space between arms and torso were too small for headlocks.

 

On the other hand Hogan, Valentine and Tito were amazing figures. Valentine was oddly bigger than everyone and Bundy was so heavy we used to joke he was the only action figure that might make a decent murder weapon.

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These don't fit in with the actual name of this thread because the two guys I'm about to mention were both really good/great workers, but I really dug the Mr. Perfect and Bret Hart Hasbros. Sure, Bret's slanted head and painted-on sunglasses didn't make much sense, but in my personal WWE Universe, what mattered more than anything was whether or not you could actually do more than one or two moves with the figure. The fact that Hart's arms weren't locked into a goofy position (I'm looking at you, thumbs-up Duggan and bear-hugging/posedown mode Hogan!) made him the most versatile toy in my collection.

 

Full disclosure, the wrestling fed I really focused on was the one I created on my own using GI Joes. I created my own names for all the characters, made championship belts out of paper, tape, and pennies (not dissimilar to the current WWE Tag Team Titles come to think of it), and even booked house show loops. I kept track of title histories in a notebook where I also wrote down each month's "PPV" card. Fuller disclosure, I did this to an age where I knew to be kind of embarassed about it and used to lock the door when I busted out the toys.

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Oddly enough I was going to mention in my last post that the best Hasbro figures were Perfect & Bret and for pretty much those exact reasons. Guys who had hats that couldn't get taken off definitely suffered as it kept them out of the main event. Well, except for Taker who essentially was unbeatable without overbooking the shit out of his match. It's probably for the best his hat couldn't come off or he probably would have never lost.

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Fond memories of the day my dog chewed the butt of my LJN Hogan clean off. Even then, Hogan needed a hip replacement.

 

I actually found Ninja Turtles' supporting cast had the best dexterity for staging wrestling matches. I believe that as a kid I booked a long world title tournament won by "Dangerous" Devon Storm, as portrayed by some kind of feudal Japanese soldier from the third movie. Storm was a worker I'd never seen at that point, but who'd been so mythologized by The Wrestling Chatterbox that I assumed he was the Second Coming.

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Full disclosure, the wrestling fed I really focused on was the one I created on my own using GI Joes. I created my own names for all the characters, made championship belts out of paper, tape, and pennies (not dissimilar to the current WWE Tag Team Titles come to think of it), and even booked house show loops. I kept track of title histories in a notebook where I also wrote down each month's "PPV" card. Fuller disclosure, I did this to an age where I knew to be kind of embarassed about it and used to lock the door when I busted out the toys.

 

This. All of This. (Even the, I know I am too old to be doing this, but fuck it I am doing it anyway part!!)

 

Joe's and a Hasbro WWE ring pretty much define my childhood wrestling obsession.

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These are great choices.

 

The 2nd Hogan was pretty lousy. He was stuck in that doing a bearhug mode (so bad I don't think they used it much again) so unless Hogan - Master of the belly to belly suplex was your new storyline you were out of luck with him. The first Hogan could not punch but I could live with that

Also anyone who had the two legs stuck and molded together (1st Warrior, The Rockers, etc) used to tick me off. Akeem was also weird in that he and Bossman appeared significantly smaller than the rest of the roster.

 

I have to share my favorite Hasbro story. I live in Central MA. About 13 years ago I am going through my local Wal Mart and find a Koko B Ware in French Canadian packaging MIB. No price tag but beyond baffled I walk to the register and it rings for $14 and change as,............a Mark McGuire autographed baseball. How all that happened over ten years after it left shelves I have no idea to this day. I wonder if someone didn't put it in the store as a sort of shop dropper. Any guesses?

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Going to eat a lot of shit for this, but Greg Valentine.

Awesome looking figure with the knee brace, but by this time, he was a slow, plodding, bland, uncharismatic bore who was way past his prime. As a kid, I never saw any appeal in him. Of course, I missed his "heyday" by a few years.

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I always preferred the AWA Remco line. They were just like the He-Man guys in size comparison and you could mix and match them to make a nice roster.

 

The Fabulous Ones made good action figures. They even had the bow ties and suspenders that were removable. Road Warriors were cool as well.

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Full disclosure, the wrestling fed I really focused on was the one I created on my own using GI Joes. I created my own names for all the characters, made championship belts out of paper, tape, and pennies (not dissimilar to the current WWE Tag Team Titles come to think of it), and even booked house show loops. I kept track of title histories in a notebook where I also wrote down each month's "PPV" card. Fuller disclosure, I did this to an age where I knew to be kind of embarassed about it and used to lock the door when I busted out the toys.

 

This. All of This. (Even the, I know I am too old to be doing this, but fuck it I am doing it anyway part!!)

 

Joe's and a Hasbro WWE ring pretty much define my childhood wrestling obsession.

 

 

I second this. I had about ~30 GI Joes and did the same thing. My ring was a red, Return of the Jedi lunch box. I clearly remember locking the front door during one of my 'cards' and my friend knocking on the door. I yelled "hold on a second" as a rushed to throw everything in the box and push it under the couch.

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How am I the first person to mention Ted Arcidi? Great looking LJN doll, but he's still Ted Arcidi. He's also the LJN doll that looks most like an LJN doll, if that makes sense.

 

I second the SD Jones pick, too.

Come on Bix, they're not DOLLS they're ACTION FIGURES!

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