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Woof

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Yeah, Miley is going to be money. He's not the biggest guy on the roster in reality, but he looks like he is due to what I'm guessing is acromegaly.

 

They just have to not have him say anything, change his name and just do it Goldberg style and I think he'll not only be able to get over with Vince, but with the fans as well. I'm more excited to see what they can do with him than anyone else on the roster.

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I picked a hell of a week to start watching NXT again.

 

Black's whole deal and entrance and music is money, although I'm going to be begging for him to walk faster in about a month's time. If his theme tune wasn't so repetitive lyrically it would be my new favourite song. And MY GOD THIS SQUASH. Black standing deathly still as the other guy bounces around like a normal wrestler and on commentary they're all like wassup but Nigel is like no no, it's good to be calm, just watch, and then the jobber bounces in and BLAOW, the most perfectly timed spin kick in fucking history kills this fucker dead. Black hasn't blinked. That was so fucking awesome.

 

Speaking of fucking awesome, there's almost nothing I love more in wrestling than the WWE Network of Spies reading my posts and then booking as per my express wishes. Tye Dillinger is out the door but he agrees with me that it comes at the expense of that big NXT win he was chasing, so now he has one more shot at glory with this big blow off cage match against Eric Young next week. You're all welcome.

 

The big ugly dude in the tag match was amazing and this was so great as a showcase for him. Most of all I loved Ciampa going for a clothesline and Miley just running through it like it was nothing. He didn't just no sell a fucking lariat, he acted like it wasn't even there. Scary. And the delayed vertical suplex with added pretend drop and A HOP ON ONE LEG just for the fuck of it! So scary. If you went into CAW with the assignment to make "Guy who gets beat up by his tag partner after they lose", you would probably come up with that guy Miley beat up.

 

Sad Ember Moon moping around the empty arena post-Takeover while one guy slowly sweeps up in the background was strangely effective. It was a much more interesting and creative way to do that speech than the usual promo.

 

Is Kimberly Frankele anyone? I feel like I should know her but I can't place her. Or maybe it's just because she came out to some boss ass banging tune. You've done it again, you magnificent bastards. CFO$ is truly just showing off at this point.

 

...oh, right. She's Kimber Lee. That's embarrassing how long that took me. It's the same fucking name, fuckwit.

 

Speaking of indy people, we've had these moments so many times in the past 3 years or so that you'd think I'd be over the whole "What a time to be alive" thing, but I'm super not over it. Imagine telling your past self about a WWE card that looks like:

 

- a Tommy End squash

- a Gargano and Ciampa squash

- Heidi Lovelace vs Kimber Lee while Nikki Cross looks on

- Biff Busick vs Drew Mac

- Shinsuke Nakamura emptying the locker room as he sails off to become the biggest star in WWE

 

What a time to be alive.

 

Billie and Peyton are awesome. Megapush as the new Laycool please and thank you.

 

I have to admit that I was, and still am, inordinately and irrationally upset that Drew Mac is not coming out to Broken Dreams. This is the one time in my whole life that I will not defer to my homies CFO$. The new tune is good, don't get me wrong, but it ain't no Broken Dreams,

 

On the other hand, I also have to admit that HOLY FUCKING SHITTING SHIT WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS THIS MATCH??! Drew begins his second career by throwing the fastest and most sickest overhead suplex fucking ever, and shit was just on. Biff comes back with some sick stuff and knocks Drew all the way outside. And then WHAT IN THE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, Biff dives from the top rope to the floor and Drew catches him IN A FUCKING GUTWRENCH?!?! That was INNNNNNNNNNNNNSANE. What the fuck. So now Biff is clearly fearing his death so he comes back with these crazy hard slaps, just pasting Drew and reminding me of that time that Drew chopped Trent Barreta right in the face on Smackdown YEARS before puro-like stiffness was even a twinkle in WWE's eye and I instantly fell in love with him that day and that was actually a great little series where Trent did a fucking Swanton right over the ropes to the floor onto no one and splatted on the floor and died and to this day nobody has told him he's dead and where was I? Oh yeah Drew Alabama Slams this poor fucker ON HIS FACE, breaking it in two, and then kills him dead with a Big Boot. What a glorious debut. Drew, my love, my honey, my darling! Fate hath returned you to me, as the gods themselves foretold.

 

And then Shinsuke! Please don't go. You're WAY too good for WWE. I liked how he seemed genuinely moved by the crowds and all the love. It's amazing on so many levels. Here's a guy who is one of the top stars in New Japan after a long career, finally on top of the world and no reason to move a muscle, but at age 36 he goes to America to work for WWE's developmental brand and receive "coaching" on how to wrestle, and it gives him a new lease on life. And for their part, WWE push him like the superstar that he is but you'd never imagine they'd allow themselves to admit, and the fans love him so much that a wacky Japanese guy who can barely speak English is the most over guy on the WWE roster. Imagine if Misawa had decided to sign with WWF in 1997. What a God damn time to be alive. No matter what happens to him on the main roster you can't take his NXT run away, that first entrance that blew the roof off of that and several surrounding buildings, singing his theme song, the crazy violin entrances, everything. Popped for the Balor run in too. How nice. How nice everything is.

 

I just said on the podcast to Elliott that if all I watched was NXT I would be the happiest wrestling fan. So I'm going to try to get back into watching the TV every week, since I fell off when they took it off Australian TV and suddenly effort was required. Effort to watch NXT will always be rewarded.

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I'm willing to bet that the one with the least interesting names - Tye vs Young, that is - is actually going to be the best out of those three.

It's also the one for the best storyline reason for happening. Stro is right. It really is different than the other two. Much more natural.

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I loved at the very end of the tag match, Ciampa ran to do the "keep the guy on the outside from breaking up the pin" spot only to back off the second the ref counted three. Subtle yet great way to put a guy over when someone nicknamed "Psycho Killer" wants no parts of you than what's absolutely necessary.

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Excited for the next run for NXT thanks to Drew, Ohno, a Biff push likely, return of Itami, and SOMEONE beating Asuka. Tag team division, which was once a stalwart, seems light right now. Heavy Machinery are interesting but not quite to that level yet.

 

I'm all in on Aleister Black. He has the chance to be something truly special with that setup and he brings something completely unique to the table. That has some money potential.

 

Ohno is going to be an interesting part in all this: He's obviously the workhorse type that can fit with everyone, but they can't just have him be the "Guy Who Has Great Matches With Everyone." He needs something a bit more and I hope they find it with him in the next year.

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The words taste awful in my mouth but Jesus, the new NXT theme song sucks. Imsosorry It's just terrible IstillloveyouCFO$ Just the worst kind of nu metal dick waving Donthateme And I actually like nu metal! But this sucks. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

 

When Roode was droning on I was thinking about Hideo as his next feud so it was nice that they read my mind. This whole thing was adequate until after the break and a backstage promo they cut to the ring and Roode is still knocked the fuck out. I loved that. Crowd singing "Bobby are you OK?" wins them all the points.

 

Enjoyed the little Almas/Drew set up where the guys who were filming themselves training just happened to catch the confrontation. NXT does everything better. Almas still seems like a guy dead in the water though, I'm not sure how they resuscitate him from here. Will enjoy Drew Mac beating the shit out of him next week.

 

Gallagher in NXT having a British style match with that other guy sounds dreamy. All we need now are rounds and Kent Walton.

 

The women's division promo was good, the way they did it made me think they should do a No. 1 Contender's tournament for Asuka's next challenger. There are 8 solid women there, but maybe they don't want to do that so close to the actual Women's Tournament. Tag match was fine, but the faces still seem kind of bland. Billie and Peyton get 6.7 cornettes on the Jim Cornette Wrestling Tantrum Scale.

 

TYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

That was immensely satisfying. You're all welcome. Maybe I'm projecting but Tye did look emotional walking out in Full Sail for the last time. I enjoy super minimalist NXT cage matches, and I liked that it's main function was in fact to try to keep the heels out. They built to the first cage shot well, and I liked the big elbow drop/Tye's finisher I've forgotten the name of nearfalls. And then shenanigans! Sanity are out! They lock the door on him! But wait here come the faces! It's a brawl! Shades of the baseball stadiums of Puerto Rico! I like that they even built up to the heels breaching the cage by having Tye bump the big one off the side, and then the other one off the other side, and then climb up allowing the big one to sneak in the door. Oh no Tye is stuck between the two in the ring and the other guy outside! What will he do? BIG DIVE! YEAH! And he sees the other guy coming for him so he escapes out the door, saves the ref, and then LOCKS THE HEELS INSIDE! Bwahahaha! Victory! He's done it! Justice has prevailed and evil is vanquished! Loved everything about this. Sanity get 7.1 cornettes for the post match. And Tye gets the send off he deserves. I love wrestling.

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re: Dylan Miley

 

I attended an NXT Show on Thursday night where Miley beat Cezar Bononi in a few minutes and Miley's finish got a pop. So that could be an isolated incident, or maybe there'd be some potential of him getting cheered (at least as a heel)

 

Wikipedia also claims Dylan Miley is his real name. If true, that'd seem like a guy that should go under a pseudonym.

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I think Jack/Bate was very, very dull. Half speed WOS stuff that went absolutely nowhere without building to anything, with about 40 seconds of action right at the end. Weird since both guys have done far, far more exciting stuff under the WWE banner in matches nowhere near as exciting seeming.

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