Quotable Wrestling

[Kronos]

Royal Rumble 2004:

 

Taz: "You know Billy Gunn used to be married to a guy, right? You been married a bunch of times. You ever been married to a guy?"

 

JR: . . .

[Kronos]

Heenan: Sting is a coward.

McMichael: You wouldn't say that if he was standing right in front of you.

Heenan: I fear no man.

Schiavone: Bobby Heenan fears no man. Just his own shadow.

 

-- Nitro, 10/16/95

[artDDP]

Was watching the Rock-Triple H strap match from Fully Loaded 1999 on Netflix last night and this exchange had me almost falling off my chair:

 

Triple H shoves timekeeper Mark Yeaton out of the way and grabs his chair to use it against the Rock.

 

Jim Ross: "It's real easy to push around a defenseless timekeeper, isn't it, you big bully?"

 

Jerry Lawler: "Yeaton's got a hammer."

[flyonthewall2983]

It's going to sound terrible coming from me, but I think it was either the 2003 or 2004 when they had both Heyman and Bischoff out as people were being drafted from brand to brand. The single funniest line I'd ever heard on WWE since Heenan left was when Paul said "I liked it better when you were blind" to a girl that was drafted over to Raw (can't remember her name but I know she did an angle where she was blinded and now miraculously wasn't).

[TravJ1979]

It's going to sound terrible coming from me, but I think it was either the 2003 or 2004 when they had both Heyman and Bischoff out as people were being drafted from brand to brand. The single funniest line I'd ever heard on WWE since Heenan left was when Paul said "I liked it better when you were blind" to a girl that was drafted over to Raw (can't remember her name but I know she did an angle where she was blinded and now miraculously wasn't).

I believe that was Nidia.

[Dylan Waco]

I have to share this quote from Dutch Savage on a Portland Disc I was watching yesterday

 

"Ever been hit with a wet leather thong? Bull Ramos used to lay it to me, about a half inch thick"

[Exposer]

Dutch was often creepy. I remember him saying some totally odd shit on the Buddy Rose comp. I can't remember anything specific offhand but that guy was strange as all get out.

[voicesinmyhead08]

Vince McMahon announcing the tag match for Backlash 2006 "Its gonna be me and my son shane versus Shawn Michaels.... and GOD!!!!!!!!"

[Guest Andrews]

Was watching the Rock-Triple H strap match from Fully Loaded 1999 on Netflix last night and this exchange had me almost falling off my chair:

 

Triple H shoves timekeeper Mark Yeaton out of the way and grabs his chair to use it against the Rock.

 

Jim Ross: "It's real easy to push around a defenseless timekeeper, isn't it, you big bully?"

 

Jerry Lawler: "Yeaton's got a hammer."

Man, Jerry used to be great, Such a shame he has fallen into Bobby Heenan 1999 standards.

[Tim Evans]

Marc Lowrance about John Tatum's valets backside "If I had a swing set like that, I would never leave my backyard". Coming from a guy like Marc, that's hilarious.

[MikeCampbell]

Dutch Mantel talking about the hotel he stayed at when he was working in Puerto Rico:

 

"If they just put some money into it, the place would have been a real dump!"

[Sidebottom]

Dutch is perhaps my favourite quoteable wrestler ever.

[Al]

Jim Cornette: You couldn't manage a Wendy's!

Jim Ross: I could if you lived in the town.

[El-P]

Tony Schiavone (about Sherri) "She's very much in love with Colonel Parker."

Dusty Rhodes "I'm telling you, it's so thick."

Tony Schiavone "It is thick."

 

This never gets old.

[efrim]

"What was that?!? The dragon screw leg whip!? I gotta remember that for later on tonight! 'What was that?' 'Honey, that was the dragon screw leg whip!'" - Dusty Rhodes

[cheapshot]

Art Donovan: ""Randy, is this one of the wrestlers? ...He looks like... he looks like a business man!"

[Kevin Ridge]

"How much does he weigh?"

 

They should have had a truck stop scale at the entrance way for guys to weigh in to help Art's curiosity.

[goodhelmet]

Exhibit 373 on why the Bret Hart-Jerry Lawler feud was awesome...

 

Jerry Lawler: When God Said "Let There Be Light", Stu threw the switch.

[rainmakerrtv]

If we can include ones from shoot interviews, Bobby Heenan's response when asked what he would have done if he ran WCW :

 

Put them all in a room together and rolled a grenade through the door.

[Loss]

From Bash at the Beach '94:

 

Tony: As they've been saying, wrestling is cool again.

Bobby: Watch WCW put a hold on you!

[slackermillionaire]

"My father, many years ago, died in my arms after a professional wrestling match. I don't remember a lot of what happened right afterward, and I don't really remember the funeral. But I do remember visiting the grave frequently, and when I was all alone, just me and the Texas wind, on the tombstone were the letters F-U-N-K. I vowed at that moment to make that name synonymous with wrestling, and that's what I'm going to do, Ricky Steamboat. Even if I have to step on you or your half-breed, pig-nosed, punk kid to do it." -- Terry Funk

 

Excuse my ignorance this thread but does anyone have a date and show for this?

[Loss]

6/3/89 episode of WCW

[Sidebottom]

Watching the first Royal Rumble earlier, for my sins, and Jesse making a reference to Barry Bloom was fun.

[Kronos]

Challenged by Lawler for his NWA Title on Memphis TV (8/14/82), Flair says,

 

"The world champion never puts his title on TV. I don't make $500,000-don't fly around in a big jet defending that title on local TV programs."

[Kronos]

"X-Pac riding bareback there on Christian in the corner." - JR, Backlash 2000

 

 

Ummm. . .