Jump to content
Pro Wrestling Only

Ridiculous quotes from WO.com columnists


sek69

Recommended Posts

So I still read some of the show reports out of habit, and I think Jeff Hamlin is pretty much like Todd Martin, in that somebody referred to Martin as Captain Obvious (except Hamlin sounds more like Scott Keith), but this from his latest show report:

 

http://www.f4wonline.com/content/view/7806/

 

The Motor City Machine Guns did a promo about possibly facing each other in the championship match of the X Division title tournament. Alex Shelley talked about how everyone in Detroit wasn’t talking about the auto bailout, but which one of them would come away with the X title. How long would it take you to dozens of things off the top of your head that’s a greater concern to Detroit citizens that the X title. I came up with: the 20% unemployment rate, the next coach of the Lions, will they go 0-16?, why is Rod Marinelli still employed?, why don’t the Lions flasks mentioned in Bill Simmons column two weeks ago cost $99.99?, and so on. I think I even mentioned various items related to the Detroit Shock. Hell, no one in TNA cares who the next X Division champion is, much less Detroit.

I haven't watched Impact for a few weeks, but they were pushing the Machine Guns as heels, and it apparently didn't dawn on Hamlin that Shelley is doing what heels do: Exaggerating their value and importance. I'm not saying the promo was good, but it at least sounds like Shelley was engaging in heel bravado and Lord knows what Hamlin is trying to prove. If Hamlin is trying to be funny, he sure didn't succeed here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

What would noted 100% shooter Frank Gotch think?

 

Frankly, I think it's about time that one of these fine fellows took Dave's "MMA = pro wres" hypothesis to it's logical conclusion and declared that actual pro wrestling isn't pro wrestling because it's not on the up-and-up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Does Bryan Alvarez count? From this week's Figure Four Weekly...

 

WrestleMania was the big event of the first part of the year, both in pro-wrestling and mixed martial arts.

I was not aware that Wrestlemania was a Mixed Martial Arts event.

 

Well it did have Show/Mayweather

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I'm thinking Knoxvillie's career in Hollywood was going better than Rock's right up until the Game Plan. Hard to credit Rock for Get Smart - that was a Carell movie more.

 

Knoxville's two Jackass movies were also made on shoe strings and extremely profitable.

 

Not saying Knoxville is making more per movie than Rock is. But Game Plan really was a career turn around movie for Rock. Knoxville can do another Jackass and it will pull in $60-70M, which Rock didn't do on his own until making a Disney movie.

 

John

Not arguing with you on the overall point, John, as you're right on Knoxville's career versus Rock's, but Rock did lead The Scorpion King, which did in the same ballpark as the The Game Plan domestically, and was even better in foreign theatres too.

 

Like I said, you're right on the overall point, though. After The Scorpion King, though, any movies he was the lead in were in the $30-50 million range until he did The Game Plan.

 

Scorp was a spin off from a movie that pulled in $200M, coming out just one year after Mummy 2. It was heavily pushed as such, and one can even go to Box Office Mojo and still find it listed as part of the Mummy Franchise.

 

One could reasonably argue that the "lead" in the movie was the Mummy Franchise. That was kind of obvious when Rock's next two movie made about half as much money.

 

I'm not one who craps on Rock's career. I'm glad he got out of wrestling reasonably sane and is making good money away from it. I'm actually pulling for him to have a strong career, and find his breakthrough to an even higher level. Just have to be honest that his box office has been pretty pedestrian over the years.

 

John

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The new Witch Mountain movie comes out in March. Will be interesting to see if this one can pull in $70 million... I know it's one based on a franchise from many years ago, but then again, it's not a franchise that was considered to be "huge."

 

So if that one does well, it might be what leads to Rock getting larger roles in bigger projects. It would certainly mean Disney would want him to be part of more of their planned movies.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Todd Martin, ladies and gentlemen:

 

This was pretty much the JBL/Michaels feud in a nutshell. Both men performed very well but it made absolutely no sense. See, there’s this thing called the thirteenth amendment, and slavery is not in fact legal in this country any more. Even if you enter into a bet and lose it, a court is not going to force you to work the rest of your life for someone without pay.

Do I even want to comment on this...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, but I can forgive Vince for a lot of that because he's also in charge of running a huge global public company while also being responsible for five hours of first-run TV per week. He used the Flair retirement to enhance the WrestleMania brand name, to make people think PPVs are consequential, to make the Hall of Fame more special, and even to make Ric Flair more valuable to the company in certain ways. I can't see him having Flair wrestle a year later in a match that wouldn't even mean much to the bottom line. I don't think Flair would do it, either. Seems like a lot of worrying about nothing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dave Meltzer, ever since Jericho's interview on Monday where he trashed Ric Flair, has been speculating that the company has been forced to change course and Jericho is more likely to face Flair (or perhaps Austin, since Jericho trashed all Hall Of Famers in general) than Rourke. Personally I found that speculation to be a bit baffling, as Dave was the one who reported that Flair was going to be involved in the angle a week earlier and Rourke can't appear until after the Oscars. Obviously WWE is keeping their cards very close to their chest and don't want the real plans leaking, so it wouldn't be surprising that Flair's coming out of retirement tease is a red herring to work the sheets.

 

All this secrecy really makes me wonder if WWE has got an ace up their sleeves that no-one has really thought about, especially as the angle is currently lopsided with too many faces and not enough heels. Meltzer reported last week that WWE had talked with The Rock about wrestling at Mania this year, but always thought it was a long shot and believed that paragon of virtue Good Ol' JR when he shot down any suggestions that Rock will ever wrestle again on his blog. Joining up all the loose threads, maybe the real main event is Austin & Rourke (with Flair) vs. Jericho & Rock (perhaps with someone else in their corner like Hogan or Vince). It would certainly be a big enough match that it would be worth Austin and Rock coming out of retirement for and would be a really fitting match to book for the 25th anniversary of Hogan & Mr T (with Jimmy Snuka) vs. Piper & Orndorrf (with Bob Orton Jr). Well, that's my bold new prediction.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Todd Martin's RAw Report

Undertaker came to the ring, and said that the last time he wrestled Michaels, Michaels spent five years at home trying to recover. Undertaker added that when Michaels is questioning his faith he needs to remember that he opened the gates to hell himself. At that point, a video package aired of Shawn Michaels in a cemetery. Seriously.

 

They played spooky, melodramatic music and he talked about Undertaker’s past victims. Michaels dug a grave for Undertaker, with a tombstone that said 16-1. Michaels then kicked the tombstone in the grave. He said rest in piece in a gravely voice and started throwing dirt in the grave. This was laugh out loud funny in terms of how ridiculous and hokey it was. It was also a gigantic step in the wrong direction for the only WrestleMania match that has actually been clicking. What a disaster of a segment.

 

 

 

way to overreact. He's the only person I've seen who had that reaction to the segment.

 

I don't get it. It was just your typical pro wrestling promo mixed in with the Undertaker's creepy history and mannerisms

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest LShunter

Todd Martin's RAw Report

Undertaker came to the ring, and said that the last time he wrestled Michaels, Michaels spent five years at home trying to recover. Undertaker added that when Michaels is questioning his faith he needs to remember that he opened the gates to hell himself. At that point, a video package aired of Shawn Michaels in a cemetery. Seriously.

 

They played spooky, melodramatic music and he talked about Undertaker’s past victims. Michaels dug a grave for Undertaker, with a tombstone that said 16-1. Michaels then kicked the tombstone in the grave. He said rest in piece in a gravely voice and started throwing dirt in the grave. This was laugh out loud funny in terms of how ridiculous and hokey it was. It was also a gigantic step in the wrong direction for the only WrestleMania match that has actually been clicking. What a disaster of a segment.

 

 

 

way to overreact. He's the only person I've seen who had that reaction to the segment.

 

I don't get it. It was just your typical pro wrestling promo mixed in with the Undertaker's creepy history and mannerisms

He's The f'ing Undertaker. If there's no involvement of a graveyard/supernatural powers, it's just not right. How is it a step in the wrong direction?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just wish these two were feuding in TNA. Russo could come up with some great material for them.

 

Taker: Do you remember the Fleet Center, Shawn? You didn't want to lay down...BUT I MADE YOU.

 

West: Oh, we all know what he's talking about!

 

Tenay: He's shooting here, folks!

 

Michaels: Oh really, Mark? You want to talk about not laying down? Do the words "I'm not feeling it" ring a bell?

 

Tenay: BOY IS THAT EVER STIFF!

 

And then they would have a match later in the night that would end in a DQ when Booker T would beat them both up in a 1-on-2 attack.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest LShunter

I just wish these two were feuding in TNA. Russo could come up with some great material for them.

 

Taker: Do you remember the Fleet Center, Shawn? You didn't want to lay down...BUT I MADE YOU.

 

West: Oh, we all know what he's talking about!

 

Tenay: He's shooting here, folks!

 

Michaels: Oh really, Mark? You want to talk about not laying down? Do the words "I'm not feeling it" ring a bell?

 

Tenay: BOY IS THAT EVER STIFF!

 

And then they would have a match later in the night that would end in a DQ when Booker T would beat them both up in a 1-on-2 attack.

What's the "I'm not feeling it" thing about?

 

Unrelated question: Am I correct in thinking that besides "BOY IS THAT EVER STIFF!", Tenay has also previously said "THAT WAS SNUG!"?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...