Ridiculous quotes from WO.com columnists

[Loss]

I used to take that mindset as a statement that reviewers had no right to criticize the show, but I understand that's not what is meant now. It's more that watching something and reviewing it has to be a labor of love. If it's not something one genuinely enjoys and it is an actively bad show, then I'd rather read someone having fun with how bad the show is. It's not a matter of liking/disliking, it's a matter of taking it too seriously.

[kjh]

It was sort of inevitable that Todd's replacement would be someone who views the WWE creative team with the same borderline contempt that Bryan and Dave do.

[Guest Nell Santucci]

I agree, but it's nauseating to read reviews from a guy who's not even funny and is just trying to put himself over. And reviewers like him always strike me as overly pretentious. I mean, Alvarez (for example) is only around because Meltzer giggles at his every joke. Maybe I don't have a sense of humor, but most of Alvarez' comments/insights/jokes come off as flat, and he occasionally makes a good, ironic point (usually as a follow up to one of Dave's insightful remarks).

[Strummer]

I've never found Dave or Bryan to be that funny. Years ago (I can't remember which board) I started a thread asking why everyone found Dave to be so funny and the general response was that it was a "cathartic" experience for smart wrestling fans to read jokes about the wrestlers and stuff they hated. I don't really get that but to each their own

[Jingus]

It's the same reason that physicists make obscure jokes about stuff like the Higgs boson particle. The jokes themselves may be really fucking lame, but it's fun to share inside jokes with some of the few people on the whole planet who would actually understand them.

[Ricky Jackson]

I just had a picture in my head of Meltzer doing a stand up routine of inside wrestling jokes against a brick wall to a room full of wrestling nerds.

[EricR]

Would anybody be that stunned if Meltzer owned a piano key necktie?

[Kronos]

Would anybody be that stunned if Meltzer owned a piano key necktie?

 

[Loss]

I just had a picture in my head of Meltzer doing a stand up routine of inside wrestling jokes against a brick wall to a room full of wrestling nerds.

So I sez, "It was only 78,000 ... SEVENTY-EIGHT." She looked at me like she'd never even heard of Zane Bresloff!

[FLIK]

Heh, actually his brother is a stand up comic, tho dunno if he's any good or not.

[Johnny Sorrow]

I just had a picture in my head of Meltzer doing a stand up routine of inside wrestling jokes against a brick wall to a room full of wrestling nerds.

So I sez, "It was only 78,000 ... SEVENTY-EIGHT." She looked at me like she'd never even heard of Zane Bresloff!

 

"So I says, Junk YARD Dog?..more like Junk FOOD Dog, AMIRITE?!!!!"

[rovert]

Heh, actually his brother is a stand up comic, tho dunno if he's any good or not.

Not a stand up stand up. He does corporate/trade show presentations utilising comedic scripts, juggling, clowning around etc. He seems to share Dave's memory and work ethic. Looks to be excellent in his field. Look up Scotty Meltzer on youtube or google.

[Loss]

I just had a picture in my head of Meltzer doing a stand up routine of inside wrestling jokes against a brick wall to a room full of wrestling nerds.

So I sez, "It was only 78,000 ... SEVENTY-EIGHT." She looked at me like she'd never even heard of Zane Bresloff!

 

"So I says, Junk YARD Dog?..more like Junk FOOD Dog, AMIRITE?!!!!"

 

"I told him, 'Not on steroids? Everyone is on steroids except Lance Storm!'"

[Guest Nell Santucci]

I just had a picture in my head of Meltzer doing a stand up routine of inside wrestling jokes against a brick wall to a room full of wrestling nerds.

So I sez, "It was only 78,000 ... SEVENTY-EIGHT." She looked at me like she'd never even heard of Zane Bresloff!

 

"So I says, Junk YARD Dog?..more like Junk FOOD Dog, AMIRITE?!!!!"

 

"I told him, 'Not on steroids? Everyone is on steroids except Lance Storm!'"

 

"And the only passable match on paper is Ricky the Dragon Steamboat v. the fresh new heel, the Skinner Steve Keirn, who is washed up anyway."

 

Meltzer should be put in the WWE '13 video game where he functions like the Mortal Kombat "TOASTY!!!" guy every time a high spot is done. When the match ends, Meltzer gives a star rating. The marks would get totally confused. Just think of the hilarity where the Big Show pins the Miz after landing is KO punch, and Meltzer pops up like Toasty Man and says all excitedly "****1/2, MATCH OF THE YEAR CANDIDATE!!!"

[NintendoLogic]

I'd actually like to see a game where Alvarez taunts the player with "NO BUYS!" and "MINUS FIVE STARS!" He could be like the dog in Duck Hunt.

[kjh]

Bryan and Dave could pop up in storyline mode and snicker at how Vince changed his mind again.

[KrisZ]

You knew it had to happen....Babinsack on Bruno and the WWE HOF

 

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-sto...we-hall-of-fame

[Wahoos Leg]

You knew it had to happen....Babinsack on Bruno and the WWE HOF

 

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-sto...we-hall-of-fame

I could put dog treats on my keyboard and my dog's greedy snarfing-randomized key punching would be better than the intellectual diarrhea spewed out by Babinsack

[rovert]

Dave on Bryan posting his regular radio shows and newsletter on his honeymoon:

Somebody tell him he's not supposed to be working this hard on his honeymoon. Well, at least this hard on wrestling and MMA.

[Guest Andrews]

You knew it had to happen....Babinsack on Bruno and the WWE HOF

 

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-sto...we-hall-of-fame

I could put dog treats on my keyboard and my dog's greedy snarfing-randomized key punching would be better than the intellectual diarrhea spewed out by Babinsack

 

[Corona]

I used to take that mindset as a statement that reviewers had no right to criticize the show, but I understand that's not what is meant now. It's more that watching something and reviewing it has to be a labor of love. If it's not something one genuinely enjoys and it is an actively bad show, then I'd rather read someone having fun with how bad the show is. It's not a matter of liking/disliking, it's a matter of taking it too seriously.

 

There's a real sense of fun when the reviewer wants to like something, but becomes increasingly exasperated by how far it falls short of expectations. As you say, the flip-side of Smarky McSmark seeking out something he hates and griping about it isn't fun for anyone. You know what you're getting on Raw, adjust your expectations accordingly.

[rovert]

Mike Coughlin deliciously attacks Babinsacks earlier paywall'd article on Bruno:

 

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-sto...g-about--bruno-

 

Quoting as it might get taken down:

 

COUGHLIN: Also talking about ... BRUNO! (?)

 

 

 

The Half-Guarded Truth

 

By: Mike Coughlin

 

[email protected]

 

 

Mike Also Talks About Bruno (Well, about people writing about Bruno)

 

 

 

Look, I’m a dick. No two ways about it. But, Babinsack… you’ve gotta stop man.

 

He’s in bold, I’m not. Go time!!!

 

 

 

There are ironies in my ongoing efforts as a professional wrestling writer, and then there are ironies.

 

No way I believe he's self aware enough to understand the real irony here.

 

 

 

(Another irony is that I sought quotes for this piece from the usual suspects, Movie Producers and Writers, Friends of Bruno, Olympic Athletes and the ubiquitous Mr. Christopher Cruise, and her I find the gem on a book where I would have never guessed such a thing possible.)

 

"Ron Howard, we have a Joe Babinsack on line one."

 

“The intellectual? PUT HIM ON NOW!!!!"

 

Also, who name drops Chris Cruise (I don't know who that is, tbh)?

 

 

 

Writing as someone who has spoken to Bruno Sammartino often, for some five years (it seems like a lot longer from my perspective)

Does Babs understand that this comes across as an insult?

 

 

 

But there is always that Shakespearean reference of protesting too much.

Bruno has a vag.

 

 

 

(Those people knew much, heard much, and always wanted to tell him more than he wanted to know, from Georgie Makropoulos to Chris Cruise, from Sal Corrente to Dave Kregan and Bulldog Brown, from Dominic Denucci to some wannabe Pittsburgher who is also cursed by that same affliction)

Odd lack of a Dave reference here.

 

 

 

Which is amusing as we near his induction into the industry’s arguably most highest honor…

Fucking beautiful piece of writing here.

 

 

 

There have been analogies to Babe Ruth, but Ruth was the foundation of a monstrous New York team, the holder of a Home Run record that eventually was surpassed, and in terms of character and integrity, let’s just politely say that there is no comparison.

For a second, I thought he was gonna say Bruno was as important to wrestling as Babe Ruth. Thankfully, he came to his senses.

 

 

 

Bruno’s Championship runs with the WWWF didn’t just establish the promotion as a solid alternative in the industry, it built the foundation for what the WWE is today.

Or, maybe not. These two quotes followed one another. No clue if he's randomly shitting on Bruno, or maybe doesn't understand what an analogy is.

 

 

 

He headlined across the globe (except in Mexico, he’s told me)

If Bruno hadn't told him, he wouldn't have known. Also: fuck Mexico, not even a real country.

 

 

 

In an age where YouTube and video exists of his matches, the only ones we see are the blow-offs, and not the early bouts, not the promos and not the build-ups. We don’t see the programs and the creativity of the man that kept the audiences entranced by his efforts, the mastery of psychology and story-telling in the ring, the absolute ability that made professional wrestling real and believable.

I'm not gonna bother looking, because who gives a shit, but I'll bet you can find other shit of Bruno's online.

 

 

 

there’s a doctorate in studying professional wrestling with Bruno,

And now I know why he's an intellectual.

 

 

 

As for that deal, I can guess and speculate and likely get more than a few things dangerously close, but in the week leading up to the big event, there’s no reason for it.

Dangerously close, you say. Danger.

 

 

 

once anyone starts refuting rumors and bad logic, where do you stop?

… when they aren’t anymore? I dunno. The Truther people have been kinda put in their place.

 

 

 

The fiftieth year of Bruno’s first reign, having wrested that belt from Buddy Rogers some three weeks after the WWWF Heavyweight Championship was created, is time for this level of celebration.

 

I think a word is missing here.

 

 

 

What better timing than the 50th year, which alone sets aside a lot of the animosities?

 

Then again, maybe not…?

 

 

 

I’ve confirmed with more insider sources that this is true, but Bruno himself has told me repeatedly of the calls, the gift of a Killer Kowalski picture from Walter’s Estate, and the efforts taken to keep the discussions alive.

 

Because you thought Bruno was making shit up, I see.

 

 

 

By the end of the 1990’s, Bruno’s gripe about the industry shifted to include the nature of the product, and not just the health of the talent and the atmosphere that allowed abuses to escalate. Complaints about the product itself seem trivial in comparison to the well being of the wrestlers themselves, and for many years there seemed to be words and policy but not any real effort to clean things up.

 

That has definitely changed.

 

This IS true and all, but kind of poor timing, what with Reid Flair having just died. And Paul Bearer’s death being a central focus of a storyline.

 

 

 

We can all look at the roster and pick out some question marks. But the strange thing is, this isn’t a WWE where guys have to look like the Ultimate Warrior or the Road Warriors (and wrestle like them) to get a spot on the roster.

… I kinda feel like looking like the Warrior was a lot more important than wrestling like him.

 

 

 

Paul “HHH†Levesque is soon to be in charge, and this deal shows that he’s making a difference in the way things operate.

 

Or that Bruno was totally worked.

Edited: Deleted as soon as I posted this.

[rovert]

Amazing letter getting headline billing

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-sto...wrestlemania-29

[evilclown]

Amazing letter getting headline billing

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-sto...wrestlemania-29

Is there an audience there that finds that kind of thing interesting? I've never quite grasped who the WON audience is.

[Matt D]

rovert.