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Summerslam 2017, or How to get through a 6 hour show with a little help from your friends at PWO

Ricky Jackson

By Ricky Jackson
in WWE

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El-P Mentor

El-P

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Sooooo.

 

John Cena vs some scrub. Really, I never saw shit in Corbin, and he was particulary exposed again here as a guy cosplaying a wrestling heel. His whole body language is plastic. He "acts", and he does it badly, he seems completly self-aware. And he's a boring, plodding dull-ass nothing worker with two good spots per match at best. Sp, next to Cena… yikes. Well, bye bye Corbin push, we hardly knew ye. And good riddance. Okayish match, all thanks to Cena.

 

Natalya vs Naomie. A bit awkward and spotty (damn that blockbuster outside was wasted), but overall quite a good match, Natalya is a very solid heel and Naomi brings tons of color, pun intended as I never get tired of her intro and outfit and she has a flashy moveset to boot, and good babyface feel. Cool to see Natalya finally get the nod, especially in SummerSlam which had tons of cool Hart moments. Likes this quite a bit.

 

Well. Bwahahahah, I ain't watching this shit in non fast-forward. Looked god awful anyway.

 

Fuck me. Randy Orton bringing more uncharisma to the show. Rusev looks quite awesome. I liked him better with a greasy, fatter look but let's be honest, I'm sure Lana prefers it that way and it appears that he's actually quite a good looking guy too. It's a shame they killed their act, it was gr… WHAT THE FUCK ? Oh, fuck you already. Wanna see Rusev & Lana go to New Japan at the Dome for a special attraction. Fuck this.

 

Sasha Banks vs Alexa Bliss didn't connect at me first, although I can't get enough of Bliss. Love the petite bitch heel stuff. Matt killed me with the Jem comment too. Yeah, I realized a movie got released, but that actually brings me back to my childhood. Yeah, I was watching Jem and the Holograms. Yeah, it was a girl's cartoon. Fuck off. So, it developped into quite the good match and I though the final stretch was actually excellent. Hope Sasha was just selling the arm though. Hope Bliss push will keep on going (and well, she was in that next PPV vignette, so, one could hope).

 

For now, the girls are 2-0

 

Well, I dreaded this match, but much to my surprise, I enjoyed it. They twitched the Demon entrance, which is nice as I was bored by the endless crawling back in NXT. Bray could still be saved, maybe, he's actually capable of working when he's not doing a bunch of bullshit. Good story of Bray being in over his head with Face Fuck Me Demon. Did a good job making the character a bit more special too. Liked this.

 

Ambrose/Rollins vs Cesaro/Sheamus. Excellent stuff. Loved it. This show is actually turning around. This is a clear case of the whole being better than the sum of the part (and that is true of both team I guess). Of course, Cesaro going for the beach ball was hilarious and the spot of the night thus far. Crazy finishing stretch, cool ending (yeah, kinda sloppy but at least it was different), feel-good moment.

 

Awww. Shane MacMahon. Well…. Ok, I don't get the hate for Kevin Owens, he still brings stuff to the table. And this was quite a good match I thought, even with Shane-o Mac sweating his ass off and taking focus off the match at the end. AJ Styles is still the best guy in the company. Shane looked bloated. And orange. Looked like a 50 year old Brutus Beefcake actually. Well I liked the match and the bullshit was actually rather well done, so…

 

Nak vs Jinder. The less said the better ? Jinder is repulsive. Between the veins and the acne, it looks like his skin will explode any minute. His work is the shits too, but he's not bad enough to be entertaining. Nak jobbed out to fucking Jinder Mahal. Hope he gets a sweet amount of money, because his best day in WWE will forever remain his first as far as star power and work goes (BTW, where was Sami Zayn ? Not enough room for him I guess, so much talent displayed so far).

 

And then, the show savior. Battle of hosses turning into a gigantic car crash from the get go. For the first few minutes, this was the most fun wrestling I've seen in forever. BRAUN. Yeah, no need to say more, this was killer. To me the match took a bit of a downturn with Brock going on the gurney. Stopped the momentum, and it was typical WWE booking for drama instead of letting things flow. When Brock came back, the finish was kinda obvious (not the fact it would be Roman eating the pin though). So yeah, a bit repetitive at points in the second half but still the best stuff by a wide margin. Super fun match, Braun is the best monster in the US since Vader in WCW, cool finish (yeah, I was bored with Lesnar forever but he was revitalized here).

 

Not *that* bad really, as I enjoyed both women's matches, the US title despite the bullshit, the tag match and the main which was great. But tons of offensive shit too (see > Corbin, Cass, Mahal aka "they're BIG").

 

Murders Mania.

Not seen Takeover nor the Climax finals yet.

 

Glad I didn't try to watch this live though.

Matt calling the Singh brother Merry & Pippin cracked me up good.

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goc Newbie

goc

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Boo to Brock winning. This felt like it should have been Braun or Joe's night. No promises either will be these hot 8 months from now.

 

They didn't lose though. Roman ate the pin and you can go Lesnar vs. Braun or Joe and the crowd will be hot for it still.

 

 

But Brocks not around often enough for those programs to be done immediately.

 

He's going to be on Raw tonight and has already been advertised for the Raw PPV in September. Seems very likely they do Brock vs Braun there.

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FMKK Newbie

FMKK

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Boo to Brock winning. This felt like it should have been Braun or Joe's night. No promises either will be these hot 8 months from now.

 

They didn't lose though. Roman ate the pin and you can go Lesnar vs. Braun or Joe and the crowd will be hot for it still.

But Brocks not around often enough for those programs to be done immediately.

He's going to be on Raw tonight and has already been advertised for the Raw PPV in September. Seems very likely they do Brock vs Braun there.

Didn't realise that he was advertised for the next PPV but I assumed the obvious way to go was just to write him off TV for a bit with a Braun attack angle tonight.

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TravJ1979 Rookie

TravJ1979

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Jason Jordan is dead on arrival. Hardy's need to be Broken and not Hardyzzzz asap. They are in their 40's for christ sake. Miz looked legit pissed at being the pre-show opener and rightfully so.

Tozawa/Neville should have been main show. Think it would have been better with a larger crowd.

Usos v. New Day was ****1/2

 

 

Natalya/Naomi and Bliss/Banks were very good.

I LOVE Cesaro and Sheamus as a team but would love a Cesaro 70's heel world champion run. I hate Rollins/Ambrose

The main event was *****

 

Cena making Corbin look stupid was great. Probably what Cena razzing Alex Riley backstage looked like.

Rusev deserves much better.

If Show/Cass had this match with no Enzo whatsoever, it would have been better. Still not great, but the hand work was fun.

Demon/Bray ... meh.

AJ is awesome. Shane brought this down. Owen has been regressing since he turned on Sami in NXT after his debut.

Time for Jinder to get that gynecomastia surgery.

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iamthedoctor Newbie

iamthedoctor

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Apart from the Rollins/Ambrose tag match and the Cena/Corbin match I absolutely hated Summerslam including the preshow. Im sure others enjoyed it but I absolutely hated how most of the heels went over.

 

Nakamura should have won the WWE title instead of the same screwy ending and about time Brock dropped the title.

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Mad Dog Newbie

Mad Dog

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Apart from the Rollins/Ambrose tag match and the Cena/Corbin match I absolutely hated Summerslam including the preshow. Im sure others enjoyed it but I absolutely hated how most of the heels went over.

 

Nakamura should have won the WWE title instead of the same screwy ending and about time Brock dropped the title.

They've been too heel heavy on these shows for a long time. The Daffy Duck ending to all the Mahal matches is beyond tired.

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FMKK Newbie

FMKK

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Apart from the Rollins/Ambrose tag match and the Cena/Corbin match I absolutely hated Summerslam including the preshow. Im sure others enjoyed it but I absolutely hated how most of the heels went over.

 

Nakamura should have won the WWE title instead of the same screwy ending and about time Brock dropped the title.

Why would they take the title off Brock when Strowman challenging him one on one is so obviously the big match everyone wants to see?

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KawadaSmile Grand Master

KawadaSmile

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Why would they take the title off Brock when Strowman challenging him one on one is so obviously the big match everyone wants to see?

 

They have 4 HUGE matches to be made: Roman/Lesnar II, Braun/Lesnar, Cena/Roman and Cena/Braun.

 

The main event teased people just enough for the first two matches, so I guess maybe we can get something for post-WM 2018 regarding the last two.

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FMKK Newbie

FMKK

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Posted

 

Why would they take the title off Brock when Strowman challenging him one on one is so obviously the big match everyone wants to see?

 

They have 4 HUGE matches to be made: Roman/Lesnar II, Braun/Lesnar, Cena/Roman and Cena/Braun.

 

The main event teased people just enough for the first two matches, so I guess maybe we can get something for post-WM 2018 regarding the last two.

This is as stacked as the main events have been in some time. Quite the turnaround from the dismal Rollins and Owens title reigns that dominated the last couple of years

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Cap Rookie

Cap

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What would have been the point of this Jinder thing if they took the belt off him before the India trip? That was - I thought - pretty clearly the point. He will drop it shortly after I assume. I still don't think he has been as bad as people say, but that is just me. He is a fine old-school heel champ who I think has overachieved in the roll. Not saying that was a great match or anything, but it is far from the biggest thing to be concerned about.

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The Thread Killer Mentor

The Thread Killer

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What would have been the point of this Jinder thing if they took the belt off him before the India trip? That was - I thought - pretty clearly the point. He will drop it shortly after I assume. I still don't think he has been as bad as people say, but that is just me. He is a fine old-school heel champ who I think has overachieved in the roll. Not saying that was a great match or anything, but it is far from the biggest thing to be concerned about.

 

It's not even so much that he retained the title. The match was boring, bland and uninspiring, and Mahal didn't even really have to cheat to beat Nakamura, unless you count the minor distraction by the Singh Brothers. He just hit Nakamura with that rather unimpressive looking move (which I assume is his finish) and pinned him. Nakamura did not come out of that match looking great. You can put some of that on Nakamura and the whole "Nakamura is lazy and coasting now" theory, but I think if they wanted to keep Nak as a legit Main Event level guy, they should have made it look a lot harder for Mahal to beat him.

 

I just don't understand the logic of giving Nakamura a major rub like he got when Cena put him over clean a couple of weeks ago, only to turn around and have him lose in such an unimpressive looking fashion when he gets his title shot. Unless you buy the theory that Vince was really mad at him about the supposedly botched suplex spot in the match against Cena.

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Mad Dog Newbie

Mad Dog

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Has there been an actual date announced for the "India trip" or is it still just a vague rumor?

 

I'm guessing the third week of September. They're hitting Australia, Japan and Hawaii right before that. Makes sense that they would go from Japan to India.

 

EDIT: Digging around on their event calendar. There are no live events from like the 19th to the 21st and on the 22nd they are in California.

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The Thread Killer Mentor

The Thread Killer

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Jinder also completely messed up his own finish. It's supposed to be a cobra clutch slam but it ended up looking like he was trying to hug him from behind.

 

I wondered about that. I thought maybe Nak was choking on how bad the match was, and Jinder had to give him the Heimlich Maneuver or something.

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