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The worst match of all time


NintendoLogic

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Maybe we can sort bad matches into categories. Using the WON Worst Match winner awards as examples.

 

1. Bad Gimmick. Example: The Austin/Taylor vs Eaton/PN News scaffold match. Self explanatory category. You can put the best workers in the world in the match and it's not going to be any good.

 

2. Bad Booking. Example: The Doomsday Cage Match. The work itself was not actually that bad. But none of it made any sense.

 

3. Failed Comedy Match. Example: Four Doinks. Brisco vs Patterson.

 

4. Bad Execution. Example: Nowinsky/Gayda vs Stratus/Bradshaw. Matches that feature a ton of blown spots. Probably the first category I think of to answer this question.

 

5. Mind Numbingly Dull: Example: Triple H vs Scott Steiner. The crowd doesn't buy it, but it just keeps going. HHH/Michaels Hell in a Cell is in this category.

 

6. Celebrity/Non Worker Match. Example: Mr T vs Roddy Piper.

 

7. Ridiculous Psychology. Pick your Davey Richards match.

 

8. Bad Accident. The match where Sid breaks his leg. The Austin neck injury. A match that might have been good on it's face, but had something happen that makes it unwatchable/uncomfortable.

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Undertaker and Kane vs Brian Adams and Brian Clark

 

I was there live.......Uggggh

 

I was there too, and it had a real car wreck quality to it. Especially since from where I was sitting you could see Taker getting more and more pissed off until you could see the point he realized there was no way to salvage the match. He just got this look on his face like "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck" which just cracked me up.

 

Plus when all the babyfaces came out to celebrate Angle's title win, he was *still* visibly pissed off.

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Scott Steiner vs Ric Flair from Clash 14 was horrendous. Another one for me because I just saw it recently and absolutely hated it was Flair vs Rude from Fall Brawl 93. This match just keeps going and going and is boring as shit. It feels like it's three or four bad matches in one.

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Also, if we're ranking worst as compared to expectations, then there's gonna be a bunch of Muta matches on the list

I give you Goldberg & Mutoh vs. Kronik. So bad for so many reasons. It was the Main Event, it was just horrible. It was the match that didn't end, it just went on and on my friend. Some people starting watching it not knowing what it was, then they wanted to gouge their eyes out just because, it was the match that didn't end, it just went on and on my friend...

 

A little bit of me died when I saw it, never to return.

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The original version of Wrestle-1 had some spectacularly bad ideas for pro wrestling matches. In addition to Mutoh & Goldberg vs Kronik:

 

Bob Sapp vs Ernesto Hoost in the middle of their kickboxing rivalry in K-1:

 

Or my personal favorite, Abdullah the Butcher vs Sata-yarn )Masaaki Satake):

http://youtu.be/0NcXpiu_4Fk

http://youtu.be/NLJOBz4GrIg

 

The second Abby vs Satake match isn't on YouTube and is considerably worse, with Satake being confident enough in his bumping to take bumps for the whole match instead of at the finish. Unfortunately, he still waits a second to bump after getting hit. And then in Abby's post-match promo, he tries to sound creepy talking about transferring his hardcore legacy or something to "My son...Bob Sapp!"

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The absolute worst match I ever saw was on a very small time indie show where shall we say a "large" fellow was booked to wrestle much longer than he was physically capable of really doing, and no one had the common sense to just call for an early finish, which resulted in probably the longest 15 minutes of my life. Most of which was filled with a very uncomfortable, heavy breathing noise.

 

I also saw some sort of cage match multi-tag-team clusterfuck thing in ROH years ago that was basically "don't sell video game moves" for like 20 minutes, that featured Teddy Hart jumping off the top of the cage to the floor at one point. It was so ridiculously pathetic me and a buddy were just killing ourselves laughing, and I've never watched a second of ROH ever again. That match was basically that .gif of Davey Richards not selling a top rope brainbuster on loop for the entire time.*

 

Doing MOVEZ is really cool, I'm not one of those. But if you aren't going to sell any of them, there's no good reason to watch second rate Olympic gymnastics when the real thing is so much better.

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Does anyone remember that infamous tag from RAW with I think Trish & Bradshaw against Jackie Gayda & Chris Nowinski? That match was pretty amazing in how bad it was. Trish even mentioned it in her HOF speech.

What really makes that match isn't just that they're blowing spots, but that in places you can't even figure out what the spot was meant to be.

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Is there already a thread from the past asking for everyone's worst finish of all time?

 

If not that would make a good companion to this thread. Everyone has matches they've watched that were going along fine until the finish, which on occasion completely ruins all the good that came before it.

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