Royal Rumble 2018

[Cap]

Damn... that really was an incredible show, best WWE ppv in some time. There wasn't much that really shocked me, but everything just delivered in such a satisfying way. The men's rumble was booked to perfection, told a great story, and built Nakamura up perfectly. Lots of people came out of that rumble better for being in it. Plus we got a winner that was elevated by way of the rumble. It was still a safe pick, but it wasn't a boring one. I know some people don't like Nak for the lack of effort and all that, but man it is hard for me imagine he and Styles not tearing the house down. The women's rumble was something special. I love that they gave all the women who worked through the time periods where women's wrestling wasn't as respected a chance to be a part of this. It was also so wonderfully put together.

 

WWE really delivered this weekend in a big way. It doesn't always happen, but when it does its so fantastic.

[BBscout]

Someone explain to me the smark hate for Menonous?

Prob just a "who the fuck is this"

 

She's interviews stars and tries to be one. Just always trying to get herself over. Like Pillman said to Dok, "Hold the mic Hendrix. You're the prop now"

[Zoo Enthusiast]

Damn... that really was an incredible show, best WWE ppv in some time. There wasn't much that really shocked me, but everything just delivered in such a satisfying way. The men's rumble was booked to perfection, told a great story, and built Nakamura up perfectly. Lots of people came out of that rumble better for being in it. Plus we got a winner that was elevated by way of the rumble. It was still a safe pick, but it wasn't a boring one. I know some people don't like Nak for the lack of effort and all that, but man it is hard for me imagine he and Styles not tearing the house down. The women's rumble was something special. I love that they gave all the women who worked through the time periods where women's wrestling wasn't as respected a chance to be a part of this. It was also so wonderfully put together.

 

WWE really delivered this weekend in a big way. It doesn't always happen, but when it does its so fantastic.

I was on the rollercoater of emotions with Nak vs AJ at Mania. I went from being thrilled for it being the direction when we made the decision to go to Mania, then got bored by it and was hoping for someone like Rusev vs AJ instead. After last night, I came out caring about guys like Nak and Balor more than I ever have in their post-New Japan runs. It was such a great Rumble.

[Jimmy Redman]

So I finally passed out last night at the end of my 6th rewatch. I wanted to stay awake for as long as I could and savour the day as much as possible because I knew I would wake up and it would be a new day and life would move on and Raw would happen and the spell will be broken. So I'm awake now and I'm almost entirely convinced that I didn't just dream that shit and it actually happened. I've never watched the same match SEVEN TIMES in 24 hours before, especially not one that goes for a fucking hour, but there's an hour before Raw starts and WWE moves on from this forever and not even the touch of a real woman could make me this happy ever again so here is Part 2: All The Stuff I Forgot to Say Yesterday When I Was High As A Fucking Kite and Living My Wrestling Dreams Out In A Fantastic Faraway Parallel Dimension Unconfined by the Mundane Reality of This Cold, Cruel World.

 

Sasha DIED in the first fucking minute of the match. And then worked another 54 minutes. I feel like there's going to be some shit chat about her taking naps all the time, but farken every time Sasha came back in or a new girl arrived she was absolutely EATING some asshole move from someone. Sarah's HEADBUTT TO FUCK. Mandy's knee. Liv's shit in the corner. Asuka's HEADKICK TO FUCK. She took a beating here.

 

Also you can literally see Sasha trying not to grin and mark out all through this.

 

You know who's fucking great? Becky fucking Lynch. Not only is she the best babyface and best promo in the entire company and gets shit all for it, but she was the fucking boss in this. Half an hour of straight up action, she was so busy during this and actually hitting some shit on folk. What a worker.

 

LITA coming out and jumping up and down giggling on the ramp like a schoolgirl going "This is happening!" is the sweetest markout in wrestling history. She also fucking ATE MANDY'S FUCK OFF KNEE on the apron. When Lita is going up you can see her having second thoughts but she does it anyway, and then afterwards she looks so unbelievably relieved to be alive.

 

One thing I noticed after 5 or 6 goes was that Lita, when she comes in, stays on her knees and looks up at Sasha and Becky and sells the enormity of what is happening. Then later, when Trish comes in, she stays on her knees and looks up at Nattie and Sasha and all the girls really deliberately and sells the moment just the same. Those two fucking GET IT. A nice parallel.

 

I will never get over the POP for Torrie Wilson as long as I fucking live. I've been banging on to Matt and Elliott for months about how underrated Torrie is, I have been on a motherfucking JOURNEY with this woman lately. "TOR-RIE WIL-SON!" Just that one moment was as emotionally fulfilling for me as any other I've experienced in wrestling. And it was only one of about A THOUSAND I got in this match.

 

Momma Steph coming to the rescue, always defending the girls when Corey got too critical, was amazing. Viva la Revolucion. And Corey started in on his creeper stuff with Mandy Rose and Steph SHUT THAT SHIT THE FUCK DOWN.

 

Also I fucking LOST IT when Cole started telling her that Corey hates Sasha and Steph innocently squealed "WHY?!" like a teenage girl in a high school bathroom getting ready to hear her friend spill the most delicious tea about someone.

 

A lowkey MVP of this thing was Charlotte on the outside COMPLETELY NO SELLING when girls would fall and splatter to their deaths right in front of her...until Sasha tossed out Bayley at the end and Charlotte FUCKING HATED IT. That was a moment.

 

MOLLY HOLLY HASN'T WRESTLED FOR THIRTEEN FUCKING YEARS AND HER FIRST MOVE WAS A FUCKING MOLLY GO ROUND ARGHGFJGERGNERJGNDFND SHE IS TRULY THE MOST HONOURED, MOST HOLY, MOST VENERABLE SAINT MOLLY OF MINNESOTA, PATRON SAINT OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE IN WRESTLING.

 

I agree with Matt, Molly doing her babyface Mighty Molly walk to the ring fucking destroys me. Molly is like, the best fucking babyface worker in the world who had to spend most of her career as a heel for no fucking reason. Her walking in and fucking shit up it was like 2003 all over again. Even the way she swings her arms is the same. THEY COULD ALL START WORK AGAIN TOMORROW AND SOMEHOW PEOPLE STILL THINK THERE WAS NO TALENT THERE DURING THE DIVAS YEARS. PLEASE DIRECT YOUR ANGER AT THE APPROPRIATE TARGET PLEASE GENTLEMEN. THE TALENT WAS ALWAYS THERE. THE END.

 

I can't believe I saw Molly Holly work with Michelle McCool and Sasha Banks in the same 5 minutes. And she went out a worker because Molly took a DISGUSTING TRISH LEVEL BUMP OUT HERE. Fuck me.

 

Can we all stop and consider the magnitude of putting Eddie Guerrero's grieving widow on television for a payday even though she couldn't wrestle or act or talk or perform in any way and within two years she became one of the best heels of all time and she's now a legit WWE Legend in her own right. Who could believe this life.

 

People's confirmation bias with Kelly Kelly fucking astounds me sometimes. She has like the best close call spots on the ropes and people somehow claim that she was fucking it up. She was trying to hang on! She ALMOST fucked up the rana BUT they hung on and she got it back and hit it and yet people still laugh like it was botched. If they were dudes people would be praising them for saving it in mid-air.

 

I like how it took Ruby BITING BECKY'S FINGERS OFF to get her out. Becky is a fucking trooper.

 

I do feel like Ember got Alicia Fox's spot, since she came out at the same time Naomi was doing her tightrope stuff and you'd presume they'd rather have filler in the ring for that spot. One thing I COULD have got but missed was an Alicia Fox/Natalya spot in this. Next year.

 

ASUKA POINTING AT EMBER MOON'S ARM AND DANCING ALONG TO "ASUKA'S GONNA KILL YOU" WAS THE FUCKING BEST. Asuka has IT. Just, all of IT.

 

Ember sold like a beast and her legit one armed Eclipse was completely insane. She took the nuttiest bump out of all time. Ember has like her own fucking built in torque.

 

I forgot about this the first couple times, but Beth Phoenix has been putting Nia Jax over like gangbusters on the Edge and Christian podcast all year, I can only imagine how much she was exploding on the inside being able to work with her here and do strength spots and hug Nattie and put her over and just be in the damn Royal Rumble.

 

I still can't BELIEVE that Trish got the finger spot in there. It was so fucking perfect for that moment and it was never going to happen but corporate PG WWE can get in the fucking bin because THE GOAT TRISH STRATUS HAS SOME MOTHERFUCKING CHARACTER WORK TO DO! What are they gonna do, fire her? She's already fired! Fire her! She's already fired! Abuse of power!

 

Trish and Mickie having the face off and them selling it and the crowd being SO FUCKING INTO IT and them both losing their minds because the crowd was so into it and TRISH DOING THE PUSSY LICKING AND THEM PROCEEDING TO BEAT THE HOLY MOTHER EFFING JESUS CHRISTING SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER LIKE ITS 2006 OH MY GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN TAKE ME NOW. That may have been the biggest spot.

 

Watch this moment carefully. Trish ANNIHILATES Sasha with a forearm at one point and you can actually see Sasha wiggling her fingers and talking to the ref about her neck. TRISH MOTHERFUCKING STRATUS PUNCHED SASHA BANKS SO FUCKING HARD IN THE FACE IT GAVE HER A STINGER. FUCK WITH THAT BITCHES.

 

OK Raw is on now and Asuka is going to kill Sasha and wear her as a fur so that''s probably it for now.

[FMKK]

So you liked it then?

[Johnny Sorrow]

 

Someone explain to me the smark hate for Menonous?

Prob just a "who the fuck is this"

 

She's interviews stars and tries to be one. Just always trying to get herself over. Like Pillman said to Dok, "Hold the mic Hendrix. You're the prop now"

Ive never heard anything but great things about her. Shes apparently one of the genuinely nice people in Hollywood.

[WingedEagle]

So I finally passed out last night at the end of my 6th rewatch. I wanted to stay awake for as long as I could and savour the day as much as possible because I knew I would wake up and it would be a new day and life would move on and Raw would happen and the spell will be broken. So I'm awake now and I'm almost entirely convinced that I didn't just dream that shit and it actually happened. I've never watched the same match SEVEN TIMES in 24 hours before, especially not one that goes for a fucking hour, but there's an hour before Raw starts and WWE moves on from this forever and not even the touch of a real woman could make me this happy ever again so here is Part 2: All The Stuff I Forgot to Say Yesterday When I Was High As A Fucking Kite and Living My Wrestling Dreams Out In A Fantastic Faraway Parallel Dimension Unconfined by the Mundane Reality of This Cold, Cruel World.

 

Sasha DIED in the first fucking minute of the match. And then worked another 54 minutes. I feel like there's going to be some shit chat about her taking naps all the time, but farken every time Sasha came back in or a new girl arrived she was absolutely EATING some asshole move from someone. Sarah's HEADBUTT TO FUCK. Mandy's knee. Liv's shit in the corner. Asuka's HEADKICK TO FUCK. She took a beating here.

 

Also you can literally see Sasha trying not to grin and mark out all through this.

 

You know who's fucking great? Becky fucking Lynch. Not only is she the best babyface and best promo in the entire company and gets shit all for it, but she was the fucking boss in this. Half an hour of straight up action, she was so busy during this and actually hitting some shit on folk. What a worker.

 

LITA coming out and jumping up and down giggling on the ramp like a schoolgirl going "This is happening!" is the sweetest markout in wrestling history. She also fucking ATE MANDY'S FUCK OFF KNEE on the apron. When Lita is going up you can see her having second thoughts but she does it anyway, and then afterwards she looks so unbelievably relieved to be alive.

 

One thing I noticed after 5 or 6 goes was that Lita, when she comes in, stays on her knees and looks up at Sasha and Becky and sells the enormity of what is happening. Then later, when Trish comes in, she stays on her knees and looks up at Nattie and Sasha and all the girls really deliberately and sells the moment just the same. Those two fucking GET IT. A nice parallel.

 

I will never get over the POP for Torrie Wilson as long as I fucking live. I've been banging on to Matt and Elliott for months about how underrated Torrie is, I have been on a motherfucking JOURNEY with this woman lately. "TOR-RIE WIL-SON!" Just that one moment was as emotionally fulfilling for me as any other I've experienced in wrestling. And it was only one of about A THOUSAND I got in this match.

 

Momma Steph coming to the rescue, always defending the girls when Corey got too critical, was amazing. Viva la Revolucion. And Corey started in on his creeper stuff with Mandy Rose and Steph SHUT THAT SHIT THE FUCK DOWN.

 

Also I fucking LOST IT when Cole started telling her that Corey hates Sasha and Steph innocently squealed "WHY?!" like a teenage girl in a high school bathroom getting ready to hear her friend spill the most delicious tea about someone.

 

A lowkey MVP of this thing was Charlotte on the outside COMPLETELY NO SELLING when girls would fall and splatter to their deaths right in front of her...until Sasha tossed out Bayley at the end and Charlotte FUCKING HATED IT. That was a moment.

 

MOLLY HOLLY HASN'T WRESTLED FOR THIRTEEN FUCKING YEARS AND HER FIRST MOVE WAS A FUCKING MOLLY GO ROUND ARGHGFJGERGNERJGNDFND SHE IS TRULY THE MOST HONOURED, MOST HOLY, MOST VENERABLE SAINT MOLLY OF MINNESOTA, PATRON SAINT OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE IN WRESTLING.

 

I agree with Matt, Molly doing her babyface Mighty Molly walk to the ring fucking destroys me. Molly is like, the best fucking babyface worker in the world who had to spend most of her career as a heel for no fucking reason. Her walking in and fucking shit up it was like 2003 all over again. Even the way she swings her arms is the same. THEY COULD ALL START WORK AGAIN TOMORROW AND SOMEHOW PEOPLE STILL THINK THERE WAS NO TALENT THERE DURING THE DIVAS YEARS. PLEASE DIRECT YOUR ANGER AT THE APPROPRIATE TARGET PLEASE GENTLEMEN. THE TALENT WAS ALWAYS THERE. THE END.

 

I can't believe I saw Molly Holly work with Michelle McCool and Sasha Banks in the same 5 minutes. And she went out a worker because Molly took a DISGUSTING TRISH LEVEL BUMP OUT HERE. Fuck me.

 

Can we all stop and consider the magnitude of putting Eddie Guerrero's grieving widow on television for a payday even though she couldn't wrestle or act or talk or perform in any way and within two years she became one of the best heels of all time and she's now a legit WWE Legend in her own right. Who could believe this life.

 

People's confirmation bias with Kelly Kelly fucking astounds me sometimes. She has like the best close call spots on the ropes and people somehow claim that she was fucking it up. She was trying to hang on! She ALMOST fucked up the rana BUT they hung on and she got it back and hit it and yet people still laugh like it was botched. If they were dudes people would be praising them for saving it in mid-air.

 

I like how it took Ruby BITING BECKY'S FINGERS OFF to get her out. Becky is a fucking trooper.

 

I do feel like Ember got Alicia Fox's spot, since she came out at the same time Naomi was doing her tightrope stuff and you'd presume they'd rather have filler in the ring for that spot. One thing I COULD have got but missed was an Alicia Fox/Natalya spot in this. Next year.

 

ASUKA POINTING AT EMBER MOON'S ARM AND DANCING ALONG TO "ASUKA'S GONNA KILL YOU" WAS THE FUCKING BEST. Asuka has IT. Just, all of IT.

 

Ember sold like a beast and her legit one armed Eclipse was completely insane. She took the nuttiest bump out of all time. Ember has like her own fucking built in torque.

 

I forgot about this the first couple times, but Beth Phoenix has been putting Nia Jax over like gangbusters on the Edge and Christian podcast all year, I can only imagine how much she was exploding on the inside being able to work with her here and do strength spots and hug Nattie and put her over and just be in the damn Royal Rumble.

 

I still can't BELIEVE that Trish got the finger spot in there. It was so fucking perfect for that moment and it was never going to happen but corporate PG WWE can get in the fucking bin because THE GOAT TRISH STRATUS HAS SOME MOTHERFUCKING CHARACTER WORK TO DO! What are they gonna do, fire her? She's already fired! Fire her! She's already fired! Abuse of power!

 

Trish and Mickie having the face off and them selling it and the crowd being SO FUCKING INTO IT and them both losing their minds because the crowd was so into it and TRISH DOING THE PUSSY LICKING AND THEM PROCEEDING TO BEAT THE HOLY MOTHER EFFING JESUS CHRISTING SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER LIKE ITS 2006 OH MY GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN TAKE ME NOW. That may have been the biggest spot.

 

Watch this moment carefully. Trish ANNIHILATES Sasha with a forearm at one point and you can actually see Sasha wiggling her fingers and talking to the ref about her neck. TRISH MOTHERFUCKING STRATUS PUNCHED SASHA BANKS SO FUCKING HARD IN THE FACE IT GAVE HER A STINGER. FUCK WITH THAT BITCHES.

 

OK Raw is on now and Asuka is going to kill Sasha and wear her as a fur so that''s probably it for now.

 

Stop it. You're literally going to make me think a Rumble I liked was the greatest match of all time. Legitimately afraid to rewatch it at this point.

[RingoPlaysDrums]

 

 

Someone explain to me the smark hate for Menonous?

Prob just a "who the fuck is this"

 

She's interviews stars and tries to be one. Just always trying to get herself over. Like Pillman said to Dok, "Hold the mic Hendrix. You're the prop now"

Ive never heard anything but great things about her. Shes apparently one of the genuinely nice people in Hollywood.

 

 

Absolutely. She seems really genuine. And a legitimate fan of the industry. She presents the HOF red carpet every year on the Network and did a really good job inducting Bob Backlund a few years back. Nothing but good things to say about her but wrestling fans seem to find it very easy to take against any women that aren't 100% legit wrestler's wrestlers.

[Jimmy Redman]

OK I'm almost done I swear. Just one thing.

 

Trish Stratus was on Lilian Garcia's podcast this week, it was taped before the Rumble but they discuss her being in it. She was saying that she didn't want to commit to doing it before feeling confident that she could still go (even her last cameo was SEVEN years ago), so she found a warm body and a ring and THIS MOTHERFUCKING 41 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF TWO WHO AIN'T BEEN A WRESTLER FOR 12 FUCKING YEARS JUST STRAIGHT UP CASUALLY NAILED A FRANKENSTEINER OFF THE TOP ROPE IN AN EMPTY GYM SOMEWHERE "just to see if I still could" and decided she'd be fine.

 

This woman completely and utterly destroys me.

 

I'm glad everyone enjoyed my psychosis. I've never enjoyed anything more.

[southofheavy]

Haha! Your posts rocked. Thank you.

[NintendoLogic]

I wouldn't say I hate Menounos, but her beating Beth Phoenix at Wrestlemania didn't sit well with me.

[FMKK]

John Pollock pointed out on the Post Wrestling show that Reys return blew away all the other moments in terms of YouTube views. He did 5 million views in the day or so after the show, ahead of Rondas 1.9 million and Trishs 1.6 million. Thats as sure a sign as any that they should do business with him again down the line, and probably book him against AJ on PPV

[zep81]

 

This along with Cena shouting "Now Shinsuke Now" when he and Reigns were waiting for Naka and Balor to run in and attack them was Cena at his very worst tbh.

[FMKK]

Cenas been kinda off in his last few appearances actually. Im not sure if hes working towards something or just phoning it in a bit

[Matt D]

John Pollock pointed out on the Post Wrestling show that Reys return blew away all the other moments in terms of YouTube views. He did 5 million views in the day or so after the show, ahead of Rondas 1.9 million and Trishs 1.6 million. Thats as sure a sign as any that they should do business with him again down the line, and probably book him against AJ on PPV

It's on the front page of youtube and was well over 6 million when i saw it was there this morning.

[SteveJRogers]

Cenas been kinda off in his last few appearances actually. Im not sure if hes working towards something or just phoning it in a bit

The shouting to Nakamura and Balor can be justified as him trying to make sure the guys know how to shut a crowd up.

 

The 619? IDK, maybe Reigns was having an issue that Cena was trying to calm him down a bit, or explain how to take it.

[El-P]

Let's be honest, John Cena has always been awful in that regard. Back in the 80's, he would have been one blading in front of the cam.

[FMKK]

In the 619 spot I think he may have been telling Reigns to fall to the side so he could take Reys senton?

[El-P]

"I'll sell this shit like a mofo, they ain't be looking at ya, watch who's the man still."

[goc]

Rey looked incredible in the Rumble. Just body and movement wise he looked 10 years younger than the last time in WWE. I would love to see him come back and Smackdown desperately needs him from a ticket selling standpoint and an overall interest standpoint and I'm sure he'd get pushed since Road Dogg is absolutely in love with pushing the oldest people on the SD roster anyway.

[Loss]

Even if all they want him to do is put over Almas when he's brought up, while I think they could do way more than that, that is a pretty valuable role and they'd have great matches.

[Zoo Enthusiast]

Even if all they want him to do is put over Almas when he's brought up, while I think they could do way more than that, that is a pretty valuable role and they'd have great matches.

 

There’s just so much and I want to see all of it.

[FMKK]

I just want Rey vs Rusev and Rey vs Cesaro tbh.

[iamthedoctor]

I cant fault either Rumbles they were great made it even better someone deserving like Nakamura won it.

[Shining Wiz]

If Rey is part time and able to avoid testing, he should be able to look that good - aesthetically and athletically - for a good while.

 

I parachuted into WWE watching just for the Rumble and thought he was a highlight, along with Baylor being more Devitt than Demon, and Nakamura looking like he was interested in making a big impression.

 

I thought the women’s Rumble was fun, if pretty sloppy in places, but if they’re going to do them every year, they need to up the size of the active roster as the 50% nostalgia/legend component will only play well for so long.