Royal Rumble 2018

[Edwin]

I know it's a big deal because the numbers say so, and that's great for Wrestlemania. It obviously is a big deal. But I've asked quite a few people I know who aren't wrestling fans if they know who Ronda Rousey is. The answer has been no every time. That has surprised me some. Did she crossover beyond just UFC fans, or was she just very popular in UFC?

Odd.

 

She was a pretty big celeb when she was beating every female in the UFC. She co-mained and main evented some of the bigger drawing UFC PPV's for those years, plus she's played some roles in some movies like the Expendables 3 and Furious 7, plus she's had a lot of late night talk show appearances.

 

Since going on that brutal 2 fight losing skid though, her popularity took a massive hit.

[KawadaSmile]

 

Also, nuclear take: this show as a whole was better than TakeOver Philly

 

Certainly a bad take, anyway.

 

Y'all are fucking nuts if you thought tonight was better than Saturday.

 

Every match on Saturday was good and the main event was great.

 

Tonight both Rumbles were fun & every non-Rumble match was trash. And the women's Rumble was sloppy.

 

But whatever...

 

Fair enough. In my opinion the pre-show matches actually were fun ('cept for Roode/Rawley), and while nothing had blow-away quality like Gargano/Almas, I felt that some matches overdelivered, specially the Triple Threat and Handicap matches.

 

But hey, opinions.

[ragemaster]

Wouldn't surprise me if the try and make Ronda/Steph into this generation Austin/Vince.

 

Actually after wrestlemaina its probably the best direction/use of her.

[Edwin]

Wouldn't surprise me if the try and make Ronda/Steph into this generation Austin/Vince.

 

Actually after wrestlemaina its probably the best direction/use of her.

From the little bits she's been on the mic for the MYC and her UFC interviews, she was pretty bad on the mic.

 

Not judging her based off of that, but just putting that out there.

[Strummer]

Meltzer says the plan is Rock/Ronda v HHH/Steph at mania

 

Well if Rock is available. My guess is that if he isn't, Angle takes his spot

[fxnj]

 

Wouldn't surprise me if the try and make Ronda/Steph into this generation Austin/Vince.

 

Actually after wrestlemaina its probably the best direction/use of her.

From the little bits she's been on the mic for the MYC and her UFC interviews, she was pretty bad on the mic.

 

Not judging her based off of that, but just putting that out there.

 

Not that I've watched a whole lot of her, but I thought her whole thing was she came in when no one cared about women's MMA and built its popularity almost from the ground up by cutting pro wrestling style promos on her opponents?

[Jimmy Redman]

HI GUYS I AM ALIVE. BUT I AM SLIPPING RIGHT OUT OF MY TREE OVER HERE I HAVE NO IDEA IF I'M ACTUALLY HIGH OR JUST HIGH ON THE BLISSFUL UTOPIAN PLEASURE BROUGHT ON WHEN YOU BOOK A WOMEN'S ROYAL RUMBLE FOR THE GRATIFICATION OF I, STACEY O'LOUGHLIN OF SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA AND FILL IT WITH LIKE WOMEN AND DIVAS AND WOMEN AND SOMEHOW INVENT PERSONALISED FANTASY-BASED TIME TRAVEL AND MAKE ALL OF MY WRESTLING DREAMS COME TRUE IN A SINGLE BOUND.

 

I AM GOING TO BE SHOUTING A LOT.

 

Also I want you all to know that I'm lucky to even be here I nearly died from the heart attack brought on when my WIFI started shitting itself RIGHT WHEN THE GIRLS WERE STARTING THE FIRST EVER WOMENS ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH LIVE ON PPV. Because my heart wasn't already bursting out onto the ceiling, I needed an adrenaline shot of pure fear as well. So I gotta watch it again to get everything. You're welcome.

 

The video package was so beautiful, this is already the greatest thing I've ever seen and it hasn't even begun yet.

 

Maria Menounos! HOW can you not love this woman. HOW CAN YOU JOYLESS CRETINS BOO THIS WOMAN?? GET THE FUCK OUT. She is having the time of her life out there. She's adorable. I feel sorry for Alexa and Charlotte because they were probably dying to be in this thing.

 

Of course Sasha is #1! I like, cannot imagine anyone else internally marking out harder than Sasha Banks, walking out #1 in the first Royal Rumble. You just know she wants to go an hour brother too. I was trying to figure out who she was dressed as the whole time live, now I see its Wonder Woman. Becky! This is, fuck, yes. Get in me. Just goin' to work. Can they please just wrestle for an hour. God damn we need some more Sasha/Becky matches. Steph has been good so far, being neutral Momma Steph and trying to give background.

 

I do like Sarah Logan a lot, but honey, you ain't no Diva, and today is DIVAS INVASION DAY.

 

HOW DO YOU TOSS SOMEONE INTO A HEADBUTT?? That was fucking nuts.

 

Mandy Rose. Not a Diva. Nice flying knee.

 

CHUCHU DO DOOOO DO DO CHUCHU DO DOOOO DO OO LITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

Man Sasha and Becky bumping like maniacs for Lita's shit was awesome. I'm marking out bro. When Steph said "for the women who couldn't be here today" I legit thought she meant like people who already had dinner plans tonight sending their apologies and not like, in memory of dead people. That's the closest we'll ever get to the WWE In Memorium. Kudos to Lita for wearing #TimesUp as well.

 

LITA! YES! Throw all these bitches out and win for the Divas Invasion!

 

KAIRI THE PIRATE! KAIRI THE PIRATE! OK I take it back I like the present! Michael Cole name dropping STARDOM in the main event of a WWE PPV. I love the present. Kairi Sane doing spots with LITA and Sasha Banks at the same time is completely bonkers. I also loved where Steph called her going up the top too early, it's like a botch but only because she's never seen Kairi before and just assumed but then got surprised a completely different cool move. I swear to fuck Sasha was just laying there selling for Kairi and visibly marking her fucking ass off. I would be too. I AM too. GIANT ELBOW! FUCK she nailed that. A hundred Sasha/Kairi matches please and thank you.

 

Tamina with the all white PPV Outfit. LITADDT! TWIST OF FATE! IS IT 2000 AGAIN I TH-OH NO! MOONSAULT!? NO! YOU'RE NOT! YOU CAN'T! YOU ARGH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. SHE IS DEAD. AMY 'LITA' DUMAS WAS 42 YEARS OLD REST IN PEACE. VINTAGE LITA! CLASSIC LITA! SHADES OF LITA! Christ on a bike that looked mental. Lita is fucking nuts, she fell halfway down before she even flipped. She is immortal. She must be a fucking witch. How has nothing killed her yet. Yes toss her out! LITA TO WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE! No! Becky! What are you doing??

 

The only good thing about Dana Brooke is Steph popping for her entrance cartwheel. Steph has been astonishingly fine so far.

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT KAIRI! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!

 

TORRIE! TORRIE'S MUSIC! TORRIE! ARGH! WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN EVERYBODY WANTS YOU, HOW CAN YOU BREATHE WHEN THEY SOMETHING SOMETHING! SERIOUSLY HOW HAS THIS WOMAN NOT AGED IN 15 FUCKING YEARS. SHE IS ANOTHER WITCH, LIKE MICHELLE PFEIFFER IN STARDUST WHO FOUND THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH IN EATING THE HEARTS OF STARS. OR. OR. SHE IS A HUMAN TIME CAPSULE. THE TORRIE FROM THE PAST I'VE BEEN WATCHING HAS BEEN TRANSPORTED INTO THE FUTURE FOR MY PERSONAL WRESTLING FULFILLMENT. I HAVE ACCESS TO THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM GUYS HMU.

 

OK seriously holy shit, Torrie coming in and hitting facebusters and corner clotheslines like it's 2006 is the greatest fucking thing ever. You do not know what Torrie and I have been through the past year. But look out for my future podcast show: 'Torrie Wilson: The Lost Great Worker of Her Generation'.

 

THE HARDCORE SMARK CROWD IN PHILLY ARE CHANTING "TOR-RIE WIL-SON" I AM FUCKING DEAD AS A DOORNAIL. This is already the best match of all time.

 

Yes! Get her out! Baseball slide yes! GET OUT! TORRIE! Throw all these bitches out and win for the Divas Invasion! Win it for us!

 

Sonya seems like such a caricature when I've seen Shayna Baszler the night before. Torrie forearm! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO! Fucking hell this is the second time around and I still SCREAMED THE WORD NO OUT LOUD. Booooooo Sonya, you stupid MMA clown.

 

Steph randomly going "Becky told me her gear represents the future." was the greatest non sequitur of all time.

 

Liv Morgan: Not a Diva.

 

I'm at the point where Steph is smoothly defending Sasha as a fellow Boss against Corey's bullshit and I'm like...Steph is doing such a flawless impression of a human being right now that I'm almost worried there IS a swerve coming. She is so fucking normal. It's scary.

 

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLY

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLY!!!!!!!!!

 

MOLLY HOLLY MOLLY HOLLY MOLLY HOLLY OMG THIS IS THE BEST MATCH EVER MY HEART THE PURE AND PERFECT ST MOLLY OF MINNESOTA PURVEYOR OF WRESTLING MIRACLES HOLY MOSES. SHE ALSO LOOKS EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME. HAVE THE PAST 12 YEARS BEEN A LIE?? A FEVER DREAM?? AN ALIEN EXPERIMENT??

 

Molly gettin' work done. I cannot. Of course her favourite feud was Trish, it was the only fucking push she ever fucking got and she had to be the fat ugly virgin to get it, you stupid assholes. Bullshitting about her breaking barriers when y'all called her fat for years and she hated it so much she stopped wrestling, y'all can fuck right off and eat my ass. Molly was Molly DESPITE every single fucking thing the company put her through.

 

MOLLY HOLLY JUST HIT A MOTHERFUCKING MOLLY GO ROUND ON SASHA BANKS IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2018 WHAT EVEN IS THIS WORLD. A THOUSAND STARS JUST FOR THAT.

 

Hahahaha Lana is so over as Rusev's wife. I don't know if they planned for it or not but it was fucking great that the heels got heat on her and then she LANA'D UP and beat the shit out of them and the crowd went nuts.

 

YOU'RE NOT ENOUGH FOR ME

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHOHHHHHHHHH

JUST ANOTHER MAN IN LOVE WITH ME

MICHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLE

MOTHERFUCKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

MCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

BITCHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

 

BOOM! OH SHE SLIPPED HAHA. UNDERTAKER CHANTS HAHA. BOOM! RUNNING KNEES! UPPERCUT! GET EM! BIG BOOTS FOR EVERYONE! YES! CHUCK EM! HAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT SHE'S GETTING A STONE COLD MICHELLE MCCOOL PUSH IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER. TOSS THEM ALLLLLLLLL OUT AND WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE FOR THE DIVAS INVASION! THIS IS THE GREATEST MATCH OF ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL TIME.

 

ALSO PS SHE LOOKS EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME THAT'S AN OUTFIT SHE WAS WEARING IN LIKE 2009 AM I TIME TRAVELLING AGAIN IS THIS THE REAL LIFE OR IS THIS JUST FANTASY??

 

MICHELLE AND MOLLY ARE DOING SPOTS TOGETHER IN A WRESTLING RING IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2018 I AM DEAD. NO. I SERIOUSLY CANNOT HANDLE ANY MORE. I MAY EXPLODE. NO STONE COLD MICHELLE WHAT ARE YOU DOING MOLLY! NOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T TEASE ME LIKE THAT. HOW FLEETING OUR DREAMS TRULY ARE.

 

HAHAHA Michelle no selling Lana and tossing her out was awesome. Shades of Michelle McCool! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!

 

Ruby Riot: Not a Diva. OMG Michelle McCool is working with Sasha Banks in the Year of Our Lord 2018. This cannot be real. I can't take it. Imagine heel Michelle vs Sasha or Becky or Bayley. NO! HANG IN THERE! HOLD ON MICHELLE! Phew.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA VICKIE FUCKING GUERRERO! She still doesn't have music! She's like, not even a heel anymore. People are so happy. EXCUSE ME! My mother lost it at this. "Michelle, buddy!" was fucking great. They really were together on TV for a time. Kayfabe brother. They took such good care of her tossing her out too. Vickie is the motherfucking best. All you GWWE assholes who think Vince is the best performing heel of all time, fuck off.

 

HAHAHAHA SHE KNOCKED HER OUT WITH THE BRIEFCASE! Vickie is fucking all time. Look at Michelle go, belly to belly and all that shit. She could walk back in tomorrow. OK Carmella getting into that amazing gritty wrestling struggle with Becky and then decapitating Ruby Riot with a superkick was the best 30 seconds of Carmella's career.

 

HOLLA HOLLA!!!!!
SO ALL THE GIRLS IN THE CLUB SAY OOOH
KELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
KELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
MOTHERFUCKERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

 

OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GOD WHEN KELLY RAN IN TOO FAST AND NATTIE HURLED HER AT THE ROPES THAT WAS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE. BUT SHE HUNG ON! THAT LOOKED SICK. WHAT A WORKER. She almost lost the rana too but she saved it. WHAT. A. WORKER.

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT MICHELLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY SUN AND STARS. It's like the Divas are each taking 5 minute shifts in this match, then comes the next one. WELL FUCK THAT I WANT THEM TO INTERACT AGAIN. DIVAS INVASION 4 LIFE.

 

I'm so lame that when Naomi came out I immediately remembered that Kelly Kelly was her NXT Mentor. Naomi has offense tailor made for a Rumble house clean. NO! BECKY HANG ON! NOOOOOOOO! Fuck I wanted her and Sasha to go an hour brother. Fuck that.

 

JACQUELINE! Divas Invasion represent! OK seriously what in the fuck. Jackie must be like 100 years old and SHE. LOOKS. THE. FUCKING. SAME. The Divas Locker Room is holding the secret to eternal youth. I enjoyed Steph marking out. LARIATS! Yeah fuck em up Jackie! Lariats for everybody. NO NOT KELLY! YOU TAKE YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HER! STAY IN THERE! OH THANK GOD. I honestly thought she was gone there too. Kelly is the best at selling near eliminations. Whatta worker. That's why I voted for you baby girl.

 

Oh man I am SO READY for Nia to fuck everyone up. Holy Shit Kelly is on her, imagine Nia Jax vs Kelly Kelly, how fucking dope would that have been. NO NOT KELLY! YOU WHORE! HOW DARE YOU! I HATE YOU NIA! Loved the crowd gasp when she lifted Ruby up. Military Press into the turnbuckle is fucking awesome, she should use that in another big match. NIA CAUGHT THE RANA LIKE SHE'S JOHN FUCKING CENA YES. That was cool tossing Naomi into all tOH SHIT OH SHIT SHE'S THERE SHE'S DOING A KOFI SHE'S DOING A KOFI PEOPLE THIS IS HAPPENING. YES! FUCKING ALL THE YESSES.

 

HOLY SHIT EMBER MOON! BUT YOUR ARM! YOU ONLY HAVE ONE ARM SWEETIE NO. YOU'RE GONNA HURT YOURSELF. I am all here for Ember throwing one armed shit at Nia. WHAT IN THE ASSING FUCKING SHIT EMBER JUST DID LIKE A 1080 DEGREE FLIP BUMP OFF A HAIR TOSS. THAT SHIT IS BEYOND PHYSICS. AND SPEAKING OF NAOMI IS TIGHTROPEWALKING! YES! YOU GO GIRL! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? MARIA! MARIA MENOUNOS! HAHAHAHAHA FUCK SHE'S BUSY TAKING A SELFIE OF NAOMI BEHIND HER BUT SHE NEEDS YOUR CHAIR SWEETIE! PUSH HER! NO SHE'S DOING IT HERSELF! NAOMI IS KOFI-ING UP! YES! THAT WAS AMAZING. BAHAHAHAHAHA AND NIA CATCHES HER AND TOSSES HER AFTER ALL THAT. A THOUSAND STARS.

 

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETH
PHOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIX!!!!!

YES YES YES! I SO FUCKING WANTED BETH OUT HERE. FUCK HER UP BETH! BETH IS 2008 AS FUCK RIGHT NOW, ETERNAL LIKE THE REST, BACK INTO THE SPACE-TIME VORTEX WE GO. Beth visibly telling Nia "I wanted this!" and that is a 100% confirmed shoot brother. I cannot imagine how much Beth is marking out right now. About as much as Sasha probably.

 

HEADBUTT! OMG LIFT HER! NO SHE CAN'T DO IT HAHA. GOD DAMN. NO WAIT SHE CAN! SHE IS! HOLY SHIT I THOUGHT IT WAS LEGIT BETH WORKED ME INTO A SHOOT OR WHATEVER PEOPLE SAY NOW, WHAT A MOTHERFUCKING WORKER. Between that and the HOF and the secret to eternal youth Beth could come back in tomorrow and be #1 babyface honest to God.

 

BETH AND NATTIE! THE DIVAS OF BOOB! I MEAN DOOM! 2011 was a sexually confronting time for me guys, bear with me. OMG they're hugging. I am going to DIE. They must fucking love this so much my heart is breaking. OH NO SHE DIDNT! HOW COULD YOU! HOW DARE YOU! I HATE YOU NATTIE! Hahahaha fucking lulz at Carmella running in and fucking up a reaction shot from Nattie.

 

ASUKA! OK the thing where she twirled around and her mask vanished was cool as fuck. I hope that is her actual entrance. I wouldn't even know. I am ready. HAHAHAHAHA FUCK Carmella screamed and ran away. HOLY FUCK SASHA IS DEAD. Surely they haven't done Asuka/Sasha on telly yet because Sasha would surely have passed away. OMG ASUKA AND EMBER! The crowd goes wild! This is bananas. But you have one arm sweetie Asuka may actually fucking kill you. ECLIPSE! ARGH NOT HER ARM! That was the nuttiest bump ever. How do people not get Ember. Asuka laughing and dancing at her is AMAZING. They are going to main event a PPV one day.

 

MICKIE! IN SHORTS! Wow. This is truly mental. We haven't seen Mickie's ass since like 2006. Mickie comes off so much more important in this context, she spans like three generations of women. Carmella is screaming off screen "No put me down!" and like in the last 5 minutes Carmella has morphed into quite the stooging heel. Michelle must have rubbed off on her.

 

I'm genuinely happy Nikki is back, her forearming bitches in the face and spearing the everloving FUCK out of Nattie is my jam. Carmella goes out a worker. Brie running wild and actually having insane YES chants with her was cool. The Bella Twins actually got a pop for teaming up. Reminder: we're in Philly. Philly smarks are popping for Torrie Wilson and Kelly Kelly and the fucking Bella Twins. I'm not sure what dimension you would even call this now. We have left the solar system.

 

I love Bayley still but thank fuck she came out here and not #30. How sad is it that this isn't her Boyhood Dream moment. How fucking hard is it to book the simplest story in the world. Wow Rousey chants and the entire crowd JUMPS out of their seats when they see the clock come up. Wow are you guys EVER going to be disappointed. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too, but for a different reason.

 

AHAHAHAHAHA OH WOAH!
IT'S
TIME
TO
ROCK
N
ROLL!

 

MY LOVE! MY HEART! MY SOUL! MY SUN AND STARS, MOON OF MY LIFE! THE GREATEST BUMPER OF ALL TIME! THE GREATEST FUCKING WRESTLER OF ALL TIME FOR EVER AND EVER AMEN THE GOAT THE GOAT THE GOAT IS HERE ITS TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH MOTHERFUCKING STRATUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

OMG GET A FUCKING LOAD OF THIS SHIT. TRISH VS SASHA. TRISH VS NATTIE. TRISH VS ASUKA. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AT TAKEOVER TORONTO 2016 AND WE WERE ROBBED AND I'M STILL SO MAD. TRISH VS BAYLEY. OMG IMAGINE KING DICK SHIT TALKING HEEL TRISH FROM 2004 FUCKING POOR LITTLE INNOCENT BAYLEY'S SHIT COMPLETELY UP. STOP I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE. WHY CAN'T I STAY IN THIS BEAUTIFUL UTOPIA FOREVER.

 

ALSO SHE IS A PIECE OF HUMAN ART MADE BY GOD HERSELF LOOK AT THIS BIRD LOOK AT THAT OUTFIT BITCH IS A 41 YR OLD MOTHER OF TWO AND SHE'S TRISH MOTHERFUCKING STRATUSING LIKE IT'S 2006 INTO THE DELOREAN WE GOOOOOOOOO THIS IS MY REAL LIFE RIGHT NOW. DOUBLE STRATUSFACTION!

 

TRISH AND MICKIE! TRISH AND MICKIE! TRISH AND MICKIE! PEOPLE ARE GOING APESHIT. I'M GOING APESHIT. YOU DAMN FUCKING RIGHT WRESTLEMANIA THAT WAS THE GREATEST MATCH OF ALL TIME. UNTIL NOW.

 

WAIT.
WHAT.
NO.
WAY.
GET.
THE.
FUCK.
OUT.

 

DID TRISH JUST SLIP THE PUSSY LICKING SIGN ONTO WWE TV IN 2018 UNDER THE COVER OF HOLDING 7 FINGERS UP?!?!?! SHE IS THE GREATEST FUCKING WRESTLER ON EARTH. MICKIE AND TRISH SELLING PUNCHES LIKE GANGBUSTERS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. ITS 2016 AGAIN. MY HEART IS EXPLODING. GOAT SELLERS THESE TWO. NO! MICKIE! Why are these moments over as soon as they begin. I want to stay in this heaven until I am dust.

 

BOOM NIA KILLS TRISH! Holy effing shit can you imagine babyface Trish bumping to her motherfucking death with Nia??? That match may have actually killed her. If I'm truly dreaming right now can I please order Trish singles matches with literally every single person in sight. I can't stop screaming.

 

Now everyone gangs up on Nia. This is where my mum always goes "the big one never wins". NIA ROARS AND NIAS UP! Hell of a spot getting her out there. Nia was fucking great in this, so great that the people are booing.

 

HOLY SHIT TRISH JUST PUNCHED SASHA'S LIGHTS OUT AND TOLD HER HOW IT IS!!! GIVE THEM AN HOUR! I'm seriously going to come down tomorrow and lose my mind because this is amazing and yet this is still all I'm ever going to get. This is the most epic cocktease in wrestling history.

 

THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A 41 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF TWO AND SHE JUST KIPPED UP. God Bless yoga. Nattie with the Sharpshooter, Shades of Unforgiven 2006! Stop it, it's too soon! Trish is working out of her skin. It's honest to God like she never left. Maybe she hasn't. 12 years I've been dreaming. Who knows what time even is in this dimension. YES GET HER OUT! DO IT! TOSS EM ALL! FOR THE DIVAS INVASION! FOR ME!

 

TRISH AND SASHA! HOLY SHIT TRISH MOCKED HER DANCE! GIVE THEM TWO HOURS! AT WRESTLEMANIA! IN THE MAIN EVENT! This is in fucking sane. I have a new white whale dream match to torment me for all eternity. NO NOT AGAIN YOU'LL GET TOSSED! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! OMG Trish looking up at her from the floor in admiration like she did at Mickie from NYR 2006 has annihilated me. Fare thee well my love, you're still the GOAT, then, now, forever. Nobody can touch Trish.

 

OH GOD Asuka is going to kill her. Hahahaha blam! Sasha has been going for an hour, now she's turning heel to stay in this thing which is SO INDESCRIBABLY PERFECT FOR SASHA'S CHARACTER ARC GOING ALL THE WAY BACK TO NXT I CAN HARDLY SCREAM. Shit she's going wild. This is next level. I miss King Dick Sasha. OH NO OUT! WOAH WTF. NO! SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO WRESTLE FOREVER!

 

The Bellas and Asuka is a legitimately terrifying finishing stretch because I was going completely insane at the idea that they'd put one of the fucking Bella Twins over Asuka so I bit on fucking EVERYTHING. Asuka kicking them to death was glorious. Hahaha as soon as Brie was dangling there I was screaming "SHE'S GONNA KNOCK HER SISTER OFF!" AND THEN SHE KNOCKED HER SISTER OFF! This is also completely consistent with character.

 

I am SO SOLD on Asuka and Nikki, give them a PPV. Imagine the forearm battle this would be. The entire end sequence was tremendous and tense as fuck. Not one but TWO Nikki forearms didn't do the job (and Nikki sold the shit out of them not doing the job too, what a worker) and then Asuka blindsiding her with the kneecap. Great sudden finish.

 

If I can stop screaming for a second and make the very real point that I made earlier today before the match even began and I didn't know she was going to win. Can you even imagine, even three years ago, considering the idea of a WWE PPV main event ending with a Japanese joshi worker winning the Royal Rumble. This is completely insane. What a world we live in right now as fans.

 

I thought Asuka was gonna be all like "I'm hardcore, I'll take em both" but NOPE THEY'VE MOVED COLOMBIA I GUESS BECAUSE ROWDY RONDA FUCKING ROUSEY IS HERE. What a fucking pop. I am fucking HOWLING at Maria Menounos having the wherewithall to remember that she's the ring announcer and announcing Ronda Rousey when nobody else in the building can remember to breathe. What a worker. WOW Asuka slapping her hand away was a genuine holy shit you're gonna die moment. Ronda vs Asuka Summerslam main event please and thank you. Ronda's Wrestlemania pointing is already at 110% cheesiness level so she's well on her way to becoming a wrestler already. Ooooooh the big face off with Steph! That was the slickest looking wrestling handshake ever. This is amazing, this looks like such a big fucking deal.

 

I don't know if you've been able to tell or not but I have had the time of my fucking life today. The women's Royal Rumble. So many of my Divas era heroes showing up and putting work in like time travelling sorcerers and making all my impossibly impossible dreams come true. They got the main event. It came off fucking great. Asuka won. And then the signing of Rousey making everything feel twice as big. I'm so fucking happy she came out here and didn't just win the Rumble too by the way. This was the right way. This was a fucking triumph.

 

Seriously I cannot explain the fantastical level of wish fulfillment of the last hour. Sorry if anyone else was watching the show but they booked it for an audience of one: me. They haven't done that in years. I never wanted it to end. I don't want to have to go back to normal life after this. I want to live up here in the clouds forever. I have said this over and over again ad nauseum I know, but grabbing Divas era girls and teleporting them into the present so they can have real matches too has been my fantasy for years and I KNEW it was never going to actually happen because time travel isn't technically possible but apparently it IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE because it just happened and a bunch of Divas just teleported from the mid 00s into 2018 to give me this match and now I believe in fair dinkum miracles because mine just came true. Through wrestling all things are possible.

 

I think I'm coming down. I think I'll be coming down from this match for the rest of my life. Nothing in wrestling is going to pop me this hard again until the girls main event Mania. I need a doctor.

[TonyPulis'Cap]

That is the best post I have ever read on this site.

[FMKK]

Trish is definitely worth bringing back for a Summerslam match or something. She looked great. Great performance from Nikki too, her vs Asuka needs to happen

[TonyPulis'Cap]

Trish is definitely worth bringing back for a Summerslam match or something. She looked great. Great performance from Nikki too, her vs Asuka needs to happen

 

Definitely - thought Trish was fantastic - especially the interactions with Sasha. Would be really excited to see a match between them at some point down the line. I'm sure there was talk at some point of a match between the Bellas and Trish & Lita, but given their chemistry, seeing Trish & Mickie as a team would also be great.

[Edwin]

 

 

Wouldn't surprise me if the try and make Ronda/Steph into this generation Austin/Vince.

 

Actually after wrestlemaina its probably the best direction/use of her.

From the little bits she's been on the mic for the MYC and her UFC interviews, she was pretty bad on the mic.

 

Not judging her based off of that, but just putting that out there.

Not that I've watched a whole lot of her, but I thought her whole thing was she came in when no one cared about women's MMA and built its popularity almost from the ground up by cutting pro wrestling style promos on her opponents?

No.

 

The first UFC women's division was created to feature her due to her dominance in Strikeforce, not pro wrestling styles promos or anything else.

[gordi]

All it took for the main show to be better than NXT was for them to get over their ridiculous need to punish the fans and give them what they wanted for once. Crazy how that works.

 

 

Yep. What a happy surprise that was.

[El-P]

Can you even imagine, even three years ago, considering the idea of a WWE PPV main event ending with a Japanese joshi worker winning the Royal Rumble. This is completely insane. What a world we live in right now as fans.

 

You don't say. And on the same show the good ol' men's Rumble was won by a former native New Japan ace. Damn. Mariko Yoshida came twenty years too early.

[Zoo Enthusiast]

Pretty terrific show. The Rumbles certainly carried the night. Was disappointed in the tag matches not being very good but obviously the night was about Ronda above all else. The Brock match was what it was. Similar to when he murdered Big Show with a chair for 5 minutes at Rumble ‘14. I’m glad I stayed up to watch it. Great weekend for the Fiz.

[gordi]

That is the best post I have ever read on this site.

 

Yep. Reading that post was just as much fun as watching the match.

[Kronos]

 

 

That is the best post I have ever read on this site.

Yep. Reading that post was just as much fun as watching the match.

I relived the entire match just now.

 

Greatest. Post. Ever.

[KawadaSmile]

Me too. Honestly, upon rewatching it, the match really holds up. A juxtaposition of Redman's post with the in-ring action would be 10/10

[Loss]

Sounds like Rey only made a deal for one appearance and that he has a lot of commitments and is making great money. That said, that doesn't mean WWE won't offer a deal. (From WOR)

[jcmmnx]

Meltzer says the plan is Rock/Ronda v HHH/Steph at mania

 

Well if Rock is available. My guess is that if he isn't, Angle takes his spot

Fucking terrible if true. I just can't see Steph and Ronda doing anything in the ring resembling good wrestling. Rock was washed up/too bloated 5 years ago. The crowd reacted big to Auska slapping Ronda's hand away, but I'd still do the Charlotte match.

[WingedEagle]

 

That is the best post I have ever read on this site.

 

Yep. Reading that post was just as much fun as watching the match.

 

 

Yes!

[Superstar Sleeze]

Women's Royal Rumble was fun as all get out. Best Royal Rumble match in ages! Jimmy Redman with the best post in ages!

 

I have never seen Kairi Sane before, but that is how you get yourself over in 2 minutes. My Dad and I were marking out the whole time.

 

Becky Lynch gave the hardest working performance I have ever seen in a Rumble. 30 minutes of nonstop movement. No breaks. No rolling to the outside. Just suplexes for 30 minutes. I am saying this as a compliment, you could see how red she was in the face and it was a really hard performance.

 

Nikki Bella RULES! Loved the Bella Twins in this. Asuka is God. Loved it all!

[Loss]

 

Meltzer says the plan is Rock/Ronda v HHH/Steph at mania

 

Well if Rock is available. My guess is that if he isn't, Angle takes his spot

Fucking terrible if true. I just can't see Steph and Ronda doing anything in the ring resembling good wrestling. Rock was washed up/too bloated 5 years ago. The crowd reacted big to Auska slapping Ronda's hand away, but I'd still do the Charlotte match.

 

 

I actually think this is a pretty great idea, even if I don't have much interest as a fan in watching the match. It's probably the single biggest match they could possibly do at this point in time. There are ways to build the Stephanie-Ronda side of the tag that would be great.

[Loss]

Also, Nia vs Alexa and Charlotte vs Asuka is the current plan.

[Edwin]

Curious to see how they send Asuka over to SDL...

 

I'm guessing after last night, Sasha vs. Bayley will also be happening at WM too. Most likely in a heatless 7 minute pre-show match.

[Coffey]

https://twitter.com/Sephyffxi/status/957816255309864960